<div align="center">With the SMJHL season coming to a close, we enter the dreaded nightmare of an existence that hockey fans and players alike must come to grips with - the offseason. It is a hard time for all involved, with many coping mechanisms only providing a short amount of relief in these troubling times, it becomes a frantic rush to find some way to deal with the pain, and to fill the void left by the SMJHL’s absence. Fortunately, there is an answer:



For many hockey fans, Offseason Shitposting has become something of an art form, and a much larger medium than it was originally intended. What started as a fun way to deal with depression due to a lack of hockey, advanced and evolved to the point of true emotional expression, and the peak of human creativity. Shitposting has kept the lives and spirits of the hockey community at healthy levels, and it will continue to provide its healing power to the souls of many for generations. So long as there is an offseason, the warming touch of a shitpost will be there to enlighten, inspire and repair the hearts of the SMJHL faithful. With the dark times ahead until S36, let us now gaze upon the first shitpost of the offseason, and ideally, the one that will light the fire for many more to come. Without further ado, here are all 8 SMJHL teams’ S35 performance, summed up as a character in Naruto.


Halifax Raiders/Konohamaru

Starting at last and working our way up, Halifax’s season results bears striking similarity to the Third Hokage’s grandson. Like Konohamaru, the Halifax Raiders are young, inexperienced, and still have a lot to learn from those who’ve been around the block a few more times. Sometimes they’re a bit naive, but most importantly, they’re enthusiastic and dedicated to better themselves. Its that drive to be the best that will eventually allow them to reach success when they mature. People sleep on the Raiders, but for Raiders faithful, you must always remember: They slept on Konohamaru too, and now he’s one of only 7 characters in the entire series’ history to master the Rasengan. Not too bad!


Detroit Falcons/Sakura

A disappointing season for Detroit was capped with an elimination from the SMJHL playoff race on the season’s final day, which reminds us that no matter how many flashes of brilliance you show, if you suck, you just suck, no way around it. It doesn’t matter how strong you get, or how many medical justus you learn, sometimes you’re just born to suck. Just because Detroit pulled a few nice wins in the regular season against some strong teams means nothing. Sakura beat a member of the Akatsuki and still no one likes her.


Colorado Mammoths/Naruto

With an article like this, someone had to be the titular character! Regular season performance from the Mammoths gave us a look at pre-Shippuden Naruto, with some flashes of brilliance but ultimately, not enough of his own power to make a lasting impact as a shinobi. However, Colorado’s playoff performance is what really solidifies them as post-shippuden Naruto. One of the playoffs best teams, pushed all the way to the finals as the underdog for 3 straight series’. For Naruto fans, one arc is regarded amongst the shows’ best: The Chunin Exams. No one expected Naruto to beat Kiba, but he did anyways, just like the Mammoths beat the Firebirds. No one expected Naruto to beat Neji, but he did anyways, just like the Mammoths beat the Scarecrows. They’ll continue to be a top team in this league, and a little boost from the nine tails’ chakra can’t hurt.


Kelowna Knights/Rock Lee

At the trade deadline, after Kelowna Knights longtime captain John Langabeer, had been traded away, things looked bleak, and not much hope was to be found for the team’s players. They were facing adversity, but they were far from ready to just throw in the towel and give up, and if anyone knows what it means to stand tall in the face of adversity, its the taijutsu master, Rock Lee! Lacking the skillset to be able to perform even the most basic Ninjutsu or Genjutsu? Rock Lee became a powerful shinobi regardless! 14 points out of a playoff spot and traded their captain? The Kelowna Knights made the playoffs anyways! Just as Rock Lee surprised Gaara with his speed during the Chunin Exams, likewise did Kelowna surprise the SMJHL with their skill.


Montreal Militia/Kiba

Kiba is not necessarily a bad ninja, he was however brought up at perhaps one of the worst times possible to be a shinobi. His jutsu was unique, he came from an impressive clan, and he had a rowdy and interesting personality to be sure. The problem that comes for both Montreal and Kiba however, is that when lined up to their counterparts, they fall very flat, and just fall into the trap of being an average amongst greats. Montreal had a very above average regular season, but without the last minute comeback Kelowna had, or the pure domination that St. Louis and Vancouver had, or the fall from grace Colorado had, how’s a team like Montreal supposed to stand out? Kiba couldn’t stand out in the era of Naruto and Sasuke, and unfortunately for the Militia, they struggled to stand out as well. No one remembers Kiba for his first round elimination during the Chunin Exams, its hard to believe the Militia’s first round exit will be any more memorable.


Prince George Firebirds/Neji

Neji Hyuga, is a cool dude, a certified bad ass, and one of the most powerful shinobi to appear in the Naruto series. He stands ahead of a lot of his classmates, just like the Firebirds did, and its hard not to root for him. Neji is a likeable character, and in the same vein, PGF was filled with a cast of very likeable players. This only served to make their untimely and undeserving death all the more painful. The crux of their season is not that they were powerful, but unfortunately that they were gone much to early, despite being known to be a lot more capable than they were at their end, to the point that their death just MAKES NO SENSE. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE NEJI? YOU WERE SO AMAZING THIS ISN’T FAIR! YOU’RE BETTER THAN THIS!!!!!!!


Vancouver Whalers/Madara

Just too, too, too much power. An unfair amount of power. The only difference between Madara and the Whalers is that Vancouver ultimately wins finally. Otherwise though, both are just stupid powerful, Madara’s defense using his susanoo’s outer armour is damn near impossible to break, and a lot of times during the Whalers run, the Whalers’ own “susanoo” by the name of Carrick Murray was equally impossible to solve. Thats not even mentioning the comparisons of the offensive abilities of the eternal mangekyo sharingan, rinnegan and multiple nature releases with the firepower of guys like Odjick, Bennet and literally the entire Whalers defence. Its foolishness, no character can be this powerful, and yet Madara is, and like Madara, so are the Whalers. Congrats on your cup though, but if the similarities continue one of your descendants will end up murdering your entire clan, so that’s not too great.


St. Louis Scarecrows/Sasuke

Sometimes, raw power is amazing enough to carry you far, but not all the way. This is a lesson characters like Sasuke learn, and unfortunately it often comes the hard way. You could argue that perhaps nothing the Crows did was inherently wrong, or a bad call, but there is more to success than just raw firepower, and often its the creativity of the Narutos and Colorados that supersede the brute force of the Sasukes and Scarecrows of this world. Like Sasuke going to Orochimaru for guidance, the Scarecrows turned to John Langabeer, and despite becoming more powerful for it, they were ultimately defeated, and left scratching their heads as to why all their power just couldn’t work. Sasuke turns from his vengeful and misguided ways and returns to the Leaf, perhaps the Scarecrows need to recollect and find themselves at home once again too.

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What are your thoughts? How shitty was this shitpost? Do any other characters fit the bill better? IS comparing teams to anime characters interesting or a complete waste of time? Discuss in the comments! Also don’t forget to SMASH that like (+1rep) button if you liked this article, and don’t forget to subscribe (take me high in the SHL Draft) if you want to see more!

This article goes out to <a href='index.php?showuser=2297' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-10'>InciteHysteria</a> and @[Kevin“Juice”Bieksa], who I’m sure will appreciate this.</div>

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Gabe-Gooney-Waters Harrak | RW | 231 TPE | Colorado Raptors
Name: Gabe-Gooney-Waters Harrak
Country: Canada
Age: 17
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 170 lbs
Number: 16
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions:
S60 - Drafted 7th overall to the Colorado Raptors


Skao Anazibf | Retired | S48-S60
Name: Skao Anazibf
Country: Russia
Retired Age: 29
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 190 lbs
Number: 12
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Regular Season Stats
HAM GP: 498 | G: 103 | A: 229 | P: 332 | +/-: 224
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Playoff Stats
HAM GP: 135 | G: 20 | A: 43 | P: 63 | +/-: 9
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Regular Season Stats
DET GP: 150 | G: 54 | A: 56 | P: 110 | +/-: 35
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Playoff Stats
DET GP: 28 | G: 7 | A: 13 | P: 20 | +/-: 1
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Round Robin Stats
RUS GP: 144 | G: 19 | A: 40 | P: 59 | +/-: -17
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Medal Round Stats
RUS GP: 3 | G: 1 | A: 3 | P: 4 | +/-: 0
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions:
S48 - Drafted 17th overall to the Detroit Falcons
S48 - Signed $3mil contract with the Detroit Falcons
S49 - Drafted 10th overall to the Hamilton Steelhawks
S49 - Signed $2mil contract with the Hamilton Steelhawks
S50 - Signed $2.5mil contract extension with the Hamilton Steelhawks
S51 - Signed $7mil contract extension with the Hamilton Steelhawks
S51 - Called up to the Hamilton Steelhawks
S52 - Signed $7mil contract extension with the Hamilton Steelhawks
S53 - Signed $4.9mil contract extension with the Hamilton Steelhawks
S54 - Signed $3mil contract extension with the Hamilton Steelhawks (S54-S55)
S56 - Signed $4mil contract extension with the Hamilton Steelhawks (S56-S58)
S59 - Signed $4mil contract extension with the Hamilton Steelhawks (S59)
S60 - Signed $7mil contract extension with the Hamilton Steelhawks (S60)
------------------------------------------------------------
Awards:
S51 - Challenge Cup Champion with the Hamilton Steelhawks (SHL)
S53 - Challenge Cup Champion with the Hamilton Steelhawks (SHL)
S55 - Damian Littleton Award for Most Dedicated Nominee (SHL)
S56 - Challenge Cup Champion with the Hamilton Steelhawks (SHL)
S58 - Challenge Cup Champion with the Hamilton Steelhawks (SHL)


Nour Harrak | Retired | S35 - S48
Name: Nour Harrak
Country: Canada
Retired Age: 30
Height: 6'0"
Weight: 180 lbs
Number: 48
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Regular Season Stats
HAM GP: 550 | G: 97 | A: 195 | P: 292 | +/-: -5
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Playoff Stats
HAM GP: 70 | G: 19 | A: 39 | P: 58 | +/-: 1
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Round Robin Stats
CAN GP: 72 | G: 10 | A: 21 | P: 31 | +/-: -9
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Medal Round Stats
CAN GP: 6 | G: 4 | A: 2 | P: 6 | +/-: 0
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Regular Season Stats
KEL/STL GP: 150 | G: 34 | A: 44 | P: 78 | +/-: 2
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Playoff Stats
KEL/STL GP: 21 | G: 7 | A: 9 | P: 16 | +/-: 9
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions:
S35 - Drafted 14th overall to the Kelowna Knights
S35 - Signed $2mil contract with the Kelowna Knights
S36 - Drafted 2nd overall to the Hamilton Steelhawks
S36 - Signed $3mil contract with the Hamilton Steelhawks (S36-S38)
S37 - Traded to the St. Louis Scarecrows
S38 - Signed $3mil extension with the Hamilton Steelhawks (S39-S41)
S38 - Called up to the Hamilton Steelhawks
S41 - Signed $4mil extension with the Hamilton Steelhawks (S42)
S42 - Signed $4.5mil extension with the Hamilton Steelhawks (S43-S47)
S47 - Signed $4,000,001.84 extension with the Hamilton Steelhawks (S48)
S48 - Announced retirement (S35-S48)
------------------------------------------------------------
Awards:
S35 - Ron Bolt Award for Sportsmanship Winner (SMJHL)
S35 - Zach Miller Award for Dedication Winner (SMJHL)
S35 - John McBride Playoff MVP Award Winner (Kelowna)
S36 - Mikka Granlund Award for Leadership Winner (Kelowna)
S37 - Ron Bolt Award for Sportsmanship Winner (SMJHL)
S42 - Silver Medal with Team Canada (IIHF)


Joey Wheeler | GM | Retired
SMJHL Regular Season Stats
S37 - KEL GP: 50 | W: 17 | L: 25 | OTL: 8 | P: 42 (Finished 7th)
S38 - KEL GP: 50 | W: 27 | L: 16 | OTL: 7 | P: 61 (Finished 3rd)
S39 - KEL GP: 50 | W: 24 | L: 21 | OTL: 5 | P: 53 (Finished 6th)
S40 - KEL GP: 50 | W: 34 | L: 16 | OTL: 0 | P: 68 (Finished 1st)
S41 - KEL GP: 50 | W: 25 | L: 16 | OTL: 9 | P: 59 (Finished 4th)
S42 - KEL GP: 50 | W: 35 | L: 13 | OTL: 2 | P: 72 (Finished 2nd)
S43 - KEL GP: 50 | W: 26 | L: 21 | OTL: 3 | P: 55 (Finished 4th)
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
S47 - DET GP: 50 | W: 22 | L: 24 | OTL: 4 | P: 48 (Finished 8th)
S48 - DET GP: 50 | W: 29 | L: 17 | OTL: 4 | P: 62 (Finished 3rd)
S48 - DET GP: 50 | W: 31 | L: 13 | OTL: 6 | P: 68 (Finished 1st)
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Playoff History
Kelowna Knights
S37 - Missed Playoffs
S38 - Eliminated in the Quarterfinals by Montreal (2-4)
S39 - Eliminated in the Quarterfinals by Vancouver (0-4)
S40 - Four Star Cup Win against Detroit (4-0)
S41 - Four Star Cup Win against Montreal (4-3)
S42 - Four Star Cup Win against Vancouver (4-2)
S43 - Eliminated in the Quarterfinals by Detroit (2-4)
Detroit Falcons
S47 - Eliminated in the Quarterfinals by St. Louis (2-4)
S48 - Eliminated in the Quarterfinals by Anchorage (3-4)
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF History
Team Canada
S39 - Gold Medal Win against Finland (6-5)
S40 - Eliminated in the Quarterfinals by Germany (2-3 L)
S41 - Eliminated in the Quarterfinals by United Kingdom (5-6 L)
S42 - Silver Medal against Ireland (2-3)
S43 - Eliminated in the Quarterfinals by Russia (1-2)
------------------------------------------------------------
Achievements:
S36 - Hired as Kelowna Knights co-GM (09/18/2017)
S38 - Hired as Kelowna Knights Head GM (01/12/2018)
S39 - Hired as Team Canada co-GM (02/27/2018)
S39 - IIHF Gold Medal as Team Canada GM (03/21/2018)
S40 - Hired as Team Canada Head GM (04/24/2018)
S40 - Laurifer Trophy Winner (04/19/2018)
S40 - Occasus Trophy Winner (04/28/2018)
S40 - SMJHL Four Star Cup Championship (05/02/2018)
S40 - Mathias Chouinard Winner (05/14/2018)
S41 - Occasus Trophy Winner (06/16/2018)
S41 - SMJHL Four Star Cup Championship (06/20/2018)
S41 - Mathias Chouinard Nominee (07/07/2018)
S42 - SMJHL Four Star Cup Championship (08/22/2018)
S42 - IIHF Silver Medal as Team Canada GM (09/02/2018)
S42 - Mathias Chouinard Nominee (09/07/2018)
S43 - Mathias Chouinard Nominee (10/29/2018)
S47 - Hired as Detroit Falcons co-GM (04/27/2019)
S47 - Hired as Team Canada Interim co-GM (05/29/2019)

**First GM in SMJHL history to win 3 Four Star Cups back-to-back-to-back**

when sakura finds out u sleighted her

júnior Guarda
Throat Goat

arigato to everyone for the dope sigs <3

Tom Holberg|| RW || Anchorage Armada


| Updates | Player Page |

ey, that's pretty good

i'll playwith anyone
playing with my teammates is part of the intangibles I bring to the table
i play with them a lot.
they didn't like it at first
but after a while, it just felt normal

4-0 and 0-4 aren't that different tbh

FIRE EGGY
HIRE ARTY

I don't know how to feel about this... <a href='index.php?showuser=2031' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-10'>Raven</a> tell me how I feel about this plz

Jimmy Larkin-Conway | LW | Seattle Argonauts
=============Transactions==============
- Drafted 19th overall by Nevada (S59)
- Drafted 27th overall by Baltimore (S60)
- Traded to Winnipeg Aurora (S63)
- Traded to Toronto North Stars (S64)
- Re-signed with Toronto North Stars (S65)
- Re-signed with Toronto North Stars (S68,etc.)
- Signed with Seattle Argonauts (S76)
================Trophies================
- Aidan Richan Award (S65)


Kit Kirkstone | G | Retired



Charlie Schieck | D | Retired



Jeff Kirkstone | G | Retired | Former GM

Originally posted by Grapehead@Jul 27 2017, 08:49 AM
I don't know how to feel about this... <a href='index.php?showuser=2031' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-10'>Raven</a> tell me how I feel about this plz

Raven just called me a weeaboo. Makes me sad...

Maybe he if watched LWA he wouldn't be so mean

Good read!

 

Thanks to prettyburn, TML, Carpy, JNH, Jepox, Engi, Karey, Flappy, Skolpadder, Mook, DollarAndADream, Smirnov and Toe for the sigs.

Code:

Crossfit's First Career SHL Goal, 4. Manhattan Rage , Crossfit Jesus 1 (Pedro Sarantez, Nucky Toohoots) at 5:51

Code:

Devitt's First Career SHL Goal, 5. Calgary Dragons , Prince Devitt 1 (Barry Batsbak 21, Mike Izzy 14) at 10:43

Crossfit Jesus || Retired

Age: 21

Height 6'1"

Weight: 217lbs

 ------------------------------------------------------------

Transactions:

Drafted 35th Overall by the St.Louis Scarecrows in the S32 SMJHL Draft.

Drafted 43rd Overall by the Manhatten Rage in the S33 SHL Draft.

 Signed Entry Level Deal with the Manhatten Rage

 Signed a 3 yr/12M Contract extension with the Rage.

  IIHF Status changed from Canada to Sweden

 Signed a 2yr/15.5M contract with the Jets

------------------------------------------------------------

 Awards/Milestones:

 S33 Micheal Haan Award Winner for Most Dedicated on the Crows

 T-5th for most goals in history in a single SMJHL Season. 28 goals (S34)

 S34 Challenge Cup Winner with the Rage.

 S34 Martucci Award Winner.

S34 Kane Summers and Brady Wingles Award Winner.

 S36 SHL All-Rookie Team.

 S38 Challenge Cup Winner with the Rage.

 S44 Challenge Cup Winner with the Jets.

------------------------------------------------------------

 SMJHL Season Stats:

S32 (STL) SMJHL Regular Season - GP: 50, 3 G, 2A, 5 PTS

S33 (STL) SMJHL Regular Season - GP: 50, 6 G, 14 A, 20 PTS

S34 (STL) SMJHL Regular Season - GP: 50, 28 G, 28 A, 56 PTS

 S35 (STL) SMJHL Regular Season - GP: 50, 24 G, 23 A, 46 PTS

----------------------------------------------------------------

 Total SMJHL Season Stats: GP: 200, 61 G, 67 A, 128 PTS

----------------------------------------------------------------

 SMJHL Playoff Stats:

 S34 (STL) SMJHL Playoffs - GP: 13, 5 G, 5 A, 10 PTS

 S35 (STL) SMJHL Playoffs - GP: 7, 2 G, 2 A, 4 PTS

------------------------------------------------------------

 Total SMJHL Playoff Stats: GP: 20, 7 G, 7 A, 14 PTS

------------------------------------------------------------

 IIHF Stats:

S35 (SWE) IIHF Tourney - GP: 13, 0 G, 0 A, 0 PTS

 S36 (SWE) IIHF Tourney - GP: 10, 1 G, 3 A, 4 PTS

 S37 (SWE) IIHF Tourney - GP: 11, 3 G, 1 A, 4 PTS

S38 (SWE) IIHF Tourney - GP: 10. 0 G, 0 A, 0 PTS

 S39 (SWE) IIHF Tourney - GP: 10. 1 G, 4 A, 5 PTS

 S40 (SWE) IIHF Tourney - GP: 10. 4 G, 7 A, 11 PTS

 S41 (SWE) IIHF Tourney - GP: 10. 2 G, 3 A, 5 PTS

 S42 (SWE) IIHF Tourney - GP: 10. 4 G, 2 A, 6 PTS

 S43 (SWE) IIHF Tourney - GP: 10. 2 G, 4 A, 6 PTS

 S44 (SWE) IIHF Tourney - GP: 10. 3 G, 2 A, 5 PTS

 S45 (SWE) IIHF Tourney - GP: 10. 4 G, 3 A, 7 PTS

 S46 (SWE) IIHF Tourney - GP: 11. 8 G, 7 A, 15 PTS

 S47 (SWE) IIHF Tourney - GP: 13. 2 G, 8 A, 10 PTS

 S48 (SWE) IIHF Tourney - GP: 15. 10 G, 11 A, 21 PTS

------------------------------------------------------------

 SHL Season Stats:

 S36 (MAN) SHL Regular Season - GP: 50, 14 G, 17 A, 31 PTS

 S37 (MAN) SHL Regular Season - GP: 50, 19 G, 12 A, 31 PTS

 S38 (MAN) SHL Regular Season - GP: 50, 16 G, 19 A, 35 PTS

 S39 (WPG) SHL Regular Season - GP: 50, 14 G, 18 A, 32 PTS

 S40 (WPG) SHL Regular Season - GP: 50, 12 G, 9 A, 21 PTS

S41 (WPG) SHL Regular Season - GP: 50, 17 G, 33 A, 50 PTS

S42 (WPG) SHL Regular Season - GP: 50, 14 G, 13 A, 27 PTS

S43 (WPG) SHL Regular Season - GP: 50, 26 G, 28 A, 54 PTS

S44 (WPG) SHL Regular Season - GP: 50, 19 G, 22 A, 41 PTS

S45 (WPG) SHL Regular Season - GP: 50, 16 G, 22 A, 38 PTS

S46 (WKP) SHL Regular Season - GP: 50, 27 G, 25 A, 52 PTS

S47 (WKP) SHL Regular Season - GP: 50, 25 G, 36 A, 61 PTS

S48 (WPG) SHL Regular Season - GP: 50, 13 G, 31 A, 44 PTS

------------------------------------------------------------

Total SHL Regular Season Stats: GP: 600, G: 232, A: 285, PTS: 517 

------------------------------------------------------------

SHL Playoff Stats:

 S34 (MAN) SHL Playoffs - GP: 3, 0 G, 0 A, 0 PTS

 S38 (MAN) SHL Playoffs - GP: 20, 4 G, 3 A, 7 PTS

 S39 (WPG) SHL Playoffs - GP: 13, 3 G, 3 A, 6 PTS

 S40 (WPG) SHL Playoffs - GP: 14, 6 G, 3 A, 9 PTS

 S41 (WPG) SHL Playoffs - GP: 13, 4 G, 3 A, 7 PTS

 S43 (WPG) SHL Playoffs - GP: 17, 6 G, 16 A, 22 PTS

 S44 (WPG) SHL Playoffs - GP: 18, 8 G, 4 A, 12 PTS

 S45 (WPG) SHL Playoffs - GP: 4, 0 G, 1 A, 1 PTS

 S47 (WKP) SHL Playoffs - GP: 15, 8 G, 8 A, 16 PTS

 S48 (WPG) SHL Playoffs - GP: 19, 2 G, 7 A, 9 PTS

------------------------------------------------------------

Total SHL Playoff Stats: GP: 136, G: 41, A: 48, PTS: 89

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"Machine Gun" Prince Devitt || D || Knights || Dragons || 1022 TPE

Name: Prince Devitt
Age: 37
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 190 lbs
------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Season Stats:
S48 (KEL) SMJHL Season: GP: 50, G: 4, A: 9, PTS: 13
S49 (KEL) SMJHL Season: GP: 50, G: 3, A: 34, PTS: 37
S50 (KEL) SMJHL Season: GP: 50, G: 1, A: 34, PTS: 35
------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Regular Season Total Stats: GP: 150, G: 8 , A: 78, PTS: 86
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SMJHL Playoff Stats:
S48 (KEL) SMJHL Playoffs: GP: 6, G: 1, A: 3, PTS: 4
S49 (KEL) SMJHL Playoffs: GP: 17, G: 1, A: 14, PTS: 15
S50 (KEL) SMJHL Playoffs: GP: 6, G: 0, A: 4, PTS: 4
------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Total Playoff Stats: GP: 29, G: 2, A: 21, PTS: 23
------------------------------------------------------
SHL Season Stats:
S51 (CGY) SHL Season: GP: 50, G: 0, A: 10, PTS: 10
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SHL Playoff Stats:
S50 (CGY) SHL Playoffs: GP: 11, G: 0, A: 0, PTS: 0
S51 (CGY) SHL Playoffs: GP: 7, G: 0, A: 4, PTS: 4

Originally posted by Grapehead@Jul 27 2017, 03:49 PM
I don't know how to feel about this... <a href='index.php?showuser=2031' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-10'>Raven</a> tell me how I feel about this plz

It's Naruto, you should feel eeeew about it.

Also shut up <a href='index.php?showuser=1157' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-13'>Bojo</a> you weebaboo

Thank you Fever, sköldpaddor and OD for the amazing sigs!

  Montreal Impact/Militia

|Player Page| |Update Page|

Ryuuji Kawashima || C || Edmonton Blizzard || 2034 TPE || Empty Pockets
Name: Ryuuji Kawashima
Age: 20
Height: 6'4"
Weight: 213 lbs
Number: 26
-----------------
Transactions:
Drafted 4th overall in S58 SMJHL Draft to the Anaheim Outlaws

Rafe Ulrich || LW || Montreal Militia || 1442 TPE || New England Wolfpack
Name: Rafe Ulrich
Age: 18
Height: 6'7"
Weight: 250 lbs
Number: 13
-----------------
Transactions:
Drafted 3rd overall in S41 SMJHL Draft to the Montreal Militia
Drafted 1st overall in S42 SHL Draft to the New England Wolfpack

Raven Silverwang || RW || Wolfpack || 1718 TPE || Triple Gold Champ
Name: Raven Silverwing
Age: 34
Height: 6'7"
Weight: 220 lbs
Number: 13
-----------------
SMJHL Regular Season Stats
S26||MTL||GP: 50||G: 4||A: 1||P: 5||+/-: -6||PIM: 8||H: 33||SHT: 15||SB: 2
S27||MTL||GP: 50||G: 33||A: 29||P: 62||+/-: 19||PIM: 38||H: 44||SHT: 212||SB: 12
S28||MTL||GP: 50||G: 20||A: 33||P: 53||+/-: 22||PIM: 16||H: 48||SHT: 185||SB: 9
SMJHL Total Regular Season Stats:
S26-28||MTL||GP: 150 || G: 57 || A: 63 || P: 120 || +/-: 35 || PIM: 62 || SHT: 412
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Play Off Statisticals
S26||MTL||GP: 5||G: 0||A: 0||P: 0||+/-: -1||PIM: 2||H: 3||SHT: 4||SB: 0
S27||MTL||GP: 17||G: 12||A: 9||P: 21||+/-: -2||PIM: 0||H: 19||SHT: 68||SB: 4
S28||MTL||GP: 14||G: 6||A: 6||P: 12||+/-: 5||PIM: 8||H: 27||SHT: 59||SB: 4
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Regular Season Stats
S29||NEW||GP: 50||G: 2||A: 5||P: 7||+/-: -9||PIM: 11||H: 38||SHT: 80||SB: 3||SHT%: 2.50%
S30||NEW||GP: 50||G: 13||A: 18||P: 31||+/-: 9||PIM: 0||H: 10||SHT: 176||SB: 13||SHT%: 7.39%
S31||NEW||GP: 50||G: 20||A: 27||P: 47||+/-: 15||PIM: 0||H: 4||SHT: 182||SB: 11||SHT%: 10.99%
S32||NEW||GP: 50||G: 20||A: 19||P: 39||+/-: 20||PIM: 7||H: 8||SHT: 190||SB: 2||SHT%: 10.53%
S33||NEW||GP: 50||G: 26||A: 24||P: 50||+/-: 14||PIM: 33||H: 16||SHT: 209||SB: 9||SHT%: 12.44%
S34||NEW||GP: 50||G: 25||A: 25||P: 50||+/-: 17||PIM: 12||H: 10||SHT: 200||SB: 7||SHT%: 12.50%
S35||NEW||GP: 50||G: 25||A: 21||P: 46||+/-: 11||PIM: 22||H: 25||SHT: 211||SB: 16||SHT%: 11.85%
S36||NEW||GP: 50||G: 20||A: 28||P: 48||+/-: 12||PIM: 12||H: 70||SHT: 205||SB: 18||SHT%: 9.76%||FO%: 56.79%||FOT: 1141
S37||NEW||GP: 50||G: 21||A: 28||P: 49||+/-: 5||PIM: 19||H: 18||SHT: 198||SB: 16||SHT%: 10.61%||FO%: 55.90%||FOT: 1855
S38||NEW||GP: 50||G: 24||A: 29||P: 53||+/-: 4||PIM: 4||H: 19||SHT: 212||SB: 21||SHT%: 11.32%||FO%: 51.76%||FOT: 1735
<OPTION>SHL Regular Season Stats:
S29-38||NEW||GP: 500||G: 196||A: 224||P: 420||+/-: 98||PIM: 110||H: 218||SHT: 1863||SB: 116||SHT%: 9.99%||FO%: 54.82% ||FOT: 4731
SHL Play Off Statisticals
S29||NEW||DNQ
S30||NEW||GP: 14||G: 6||A: 7||P: 13||+/-: 13||PIM: 0||H: 1||SHT: 47||SB: 4||SHT%: 12.77%  *CUP*
S31||NEW||GP: 19||G: 8||A: 11||P: 19||+/-: 5||PIM:17||H: 2||SHT: 56||SB: 4||SHT%: 14.29% *CUP*
S32||NEW||GP: 11||G: 2||A: 1||P: 3||+/-: 0||PIM: 0||H: 1|| SHT: 54||SB: 3|| SHT%: 3.70%
S33||NEW||GP: 18||G: 9||A: 10||P: 19||+/-: 14||PIM: 21||H: 7||SHT: 72||SB: 2||SHT%: 12.50%
S34||NEW||GP: 11||G: 5||A: 5||P: 10||+/-: -4||PIM: 0||H: 11||SHT: 40||SB: 1||SHT%: 12.50%
S35||NEW||GP: 9||G: 1||A: 4||P: 5||+/-: -8||PIM: 19||H: 3||SHT: 34||SB: 4||SHT%: 2.94%
S36||NEW||GP: 18||G: 10||A: 9||P: 19||+/-: 5||PIM: 5||H: 17||SHT: 87||SB: 6||SHT%: 11.49%||FO%: 52.77% (578)
S37||NEW||DNQ
S38||NEW||GP: 7||G: 2||A: 3||P: 5||+/-: 4||PIM: 0||H: 3||SHT: 29||SB: 2||SHT%: 6.90%||FO%: 50.20% (249)
SHL Total Playoff Stats:
S29-38||NEW||GP: 107||G: 43||A: 50||P: 93||+/-: 29||PIM: 62||H: 45||SHT: 419||SB: 26||SHT%: 9.64%||FO%: 51.49% (578)
-------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Round Robin Statistics
S26||UK||GP: 10||G: 0||A: 0||P: 0||+/-: 2||PIM: 0||H: 7||SHT: 1|| SB: 0
S27||UK||GP: 10||G: 0||A: 0||P: 0||+/-: -4||PIM: 0||H: 3||SHT: 7|| SB: 1
S28||UK||GP: 10||G: 0||A: 2||P: 2||+/-: 2||PIM: 0||H: 1||SHT: 4|| SB: 2
S29||UK||GP: 10||G: 0||A: 1||P: 1||+/-: -5||PIM: 2||H: 9||SHT: 14|| SB: 1
S30||UK||GP: 10||G: 3||A: 3||P: 6||+/-: 2||PIM: 0||H: 5||SHT: 30||SB: 3||SHT%: 10.00%||FOT: 208||FO%: 40.38%
S31||UK||GP: 10||G: 1||A: 4||P: 5||+/-: -7||PIM: 0||H: 3||SHT: 21||SB: 3||SHT%: 4.76%||FOT: 259||FO%: 43.24%
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Medal Round Statistics
S26||UK||GP: 1||G: 0||A: 1||P: 0||+/-: 1||PIM: 0||H: 0||SHT: 0||SB: 0
S27 - Did not qualify-
S28||UK||GP: 1||G: 0||A: 0||P: 0||+/-: -1||PIM: 0||H: 0||SHT: 0||SB: 1
S29 - Did not qualify-
S30||UK||GP: 3||G: 2||A: 1||P: 3||+/-: 2||PIM: 0||H: 1||SHT: 8||SB: 0||SHT%: 25.00%||FOT:51||FO%: 43.14%
S31||UK||GP: 1||G: 0||A: 1||P: 1||+/-: 1||PIM: 0||H: 0||SHT: 1||SB: 0||SHT%: 0%||FOT: 28||FO%: 35.71%
------------------------------------------------------------
Trophy Case
S26 Laurifer Trophy - Montreal Impact
S27 Laurifer Trophy - Montreal Impact
S27 Zach Miller Trophy - (Most Dedicated Player)
S27 Ideen Fallah Award - (MVP Voted by Awards Committee)
S27 Jared Hanson Trophy - (Top in points)
S27 Roberto Martucci - (Most Goals)
S28 FOUR STAR CUP WINNER (MONTREAL IMPACT)
S28 Damien Littleton Award - (Most dedicated SHLer)
S28 Zach Miller Trophy - (Most Dedicated Player)
S28 Elias Armia - (Commish MVP)
S28 Jared Hansen - (Top Point-Scorer)
S30 CHALLENGE CUP CHAMPIONS (NEW ENGLAND WOLFPACK)
S30 IIHF SILVER MEDAL TEAM UK
S31 CHALLENGE CUP CHAMPIONS (NEW ENGLAND WOLFPACK)
S33 CHALLENGE CUP CHAMPIONS (NEW ENGLAND WOLFPACK)
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions:
Drafted 30sth overall in S26 SMJHL Draft by Montreal Impact
Drafted 7th overall in S27 SHL Draft by New England Wolfpack
------------------------------------------------------------
Cool Stuff:
Assigned Captian of the Montreal Impact S27
Assigned Captian of the Montreal Militia S28
Assigned Alternative Captian of the New England Wolfpack S30
(づ ﾟ□ ﾟ)づ(づ ﾟ□ ﾟ)づ(づ ﾟ□ ﾟ)づ(づ ﾟ□ ﾟ)づ(づ ﾟ□ ﾟ)づ(づ ﾟ□ ﾟ)づ(づ ﾟ□ ﾟ)づ

Originally posted by Raven@Jul 27 2017, 12:39 PM


It's Naruto, you should feel eeeew about it.

Also shut up <a href='index.php?showuser=1157' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-13'>Bojo</a> you weebaboo

ilu

Jimmy Larkin-Conway | LW | Seattle Argonauts
=============Transactions==============
- Drafted 19th overall by Nevada (S59)
- Drafted 27th overall by Baltimore (S60)
- Traded to Winnipeg Aurora (S63)
- Traded to Toronto North Stars (S64)
- Re-signed with Toronto North Stars (S65)
- Re-signed with Toronto North Stars (S68,etc.)
- Signed with Seattle Argonauts (S76)
================Trophies================
- Aidan Richan Award (S65)


Kit Kirkstone | G | Retired



Charlie Schieck | D | Retired



Jeff Kirkstone | G | Retired | Former GM

Lol this is awesome

Damn that's hot

Awesome work, Nour!

Mikas Bieksa || D || Vancouver Whalers // San Francisco Pride || 350 TPE
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Name: Mikas Bieksa
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 205 lbs
Birthplace: Vilnius, Lithuania
Birthday: S48
------------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Career Statistics
[S48] || GP: 39 || G: 2 || A: 5 || P: N/A || +/-: +1 || HIT: 20 || SB: 28 || PIM: 20
------------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Playoff Statistics
[S48] || GP: 19 || G: 5 || A: 0 || P: 5 || +/-: +9 || HIT: 11 || SB: 11 || PIM: 8
------------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Career Statistics
N/A
------------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Playoff Statistics
N/A
------------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Statistics
N/A
------------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions
[S48] || Signed with Vancouver Whalers || 1 season/$3M
[S49 SHL Draft] || Round 1 #11 overall by San Francisco Pride
[S49] || Signed with San Francisco Pride || 2 season/$2M
------------------------------------------------------------------
Milestones
N/A
------------------------------------------------------------------
Accomplishments
[S48] || SMJHL Four Star Cup with Vancouver Whalers
------------------------------------------------------------------
Awards
N/A
------------------------------------------------------------------


thanks to @Wasty, @Bruins10, @Carpy48 and @iRockstar for the sigs!

I don't know the first thing about Naruto. That being said, whoever is the coolest and most successful character that all the girls want and all the boys want to be, that should be the Kelowna Knights. Nuff said.

B)

Jesus christ, our offseason isn't even that long, and the shitposting is just as glorious.

God bless you, Nour, I didn't even know I needed this.

sigs by me bitch



Benson "Flower" Fiorentini || C/LW || Tampa Bay Barracuda || USA || VAN || 2011 TPE

--------------------------------------
Name: Benson Fiorentini
Number: 9
Height: 6'0"
Weight: 205lbs
Birthplace: Long Island, NY
Age: 25
--------------------------------------
SHL Regular Season Stats
S68: GP: 66 || G: 8 || A: 34 || P: 42 || +29 || SH%: 8.3% || HIT: 113 || PIM: 21
S69: GP: 66 || G: 18 || A: 33 || P: 51 || +28 || SH%: 15.1% || HIT: 136 || PIM: 26
S70: GP: 66 || G: 16 || A: 47 || P: 63 || +43 || SH%: 15% || HIT: 138 || PIM: 32
S71: GP: 66 || G: 27 || A: 29 || P: 56 || -20 || SH%: 15.3% || HIT: 95 || PIM: 37
S72: GP: 66 || G: 34 || A: 39 || P: 73 || -26 || SH%: 16.1% || HIT: 78 || PIM: 30
--------------------------------------
SHL Playoff Stats
S68: GP: 21 || G: 2 || A: 10 || P: 12 || +4 || SH%: 8.0% || HIT: 39 || PIM: 6
S69: GP: 16 || G: 5 || A: 4 || P: 9 || -1 || SH%: 17.2% || HIT: 28 || PIM: 4
S70: GP: 13 || G: 4 || A: 8 || P: 12 || +4 || SH%: 16% || HIT: 25 || PIM: 12
S71: GP: 7 || G: 1 || A: 3 || P: 4 || -3 || SH%: 11.1% || HIT: 6 || PIM: 0
S72: GP: 5 || G: 2 || A: 5 || P: 7 || +1 || SH%: 14.3% || HIT: 7 || PIM: 0
--------------------------------------
SMJHL Career Stats
Regular Season: GP: 198 || G: 70 || A: 80 || P: 150 || +17 || SH%: 13.13% || HIT: 337 || PIM: 64
Playoffs: GP: 20 || G: 7 || A: 3 || P: 10 || -10 || SH%: 18.92% || HIT: 46 || PIM: 8
--------------------------------------
Transactions
Drafted 9th overall by the Vancouver Whalers (S65)
Drafted 2nd overall by the Seattle Argonauts (S66)
Played for the Seattle Argonauts (S68 - S74)
Traded to the Tampa Bay Barracuda (S74)
--------------------------------------
Accomplishments
Won the Challenge Cup with Seattle [Rookie Year] (S68)



Finn Krüger || SEA Head GM (S69 - S73) || RD || WKP/HAM/TOR/TBB || GER || COL || Peak: 1690 TPE

--------------------------------------
Name: Finn Krüger
Number: 8
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 200lbs
Birthplace: Cologne, Germany
Age: 53
--------------------------------------
SHL Career Stats
Regular Season: GP: 649 || G: 68 || A: 339 || P: 407 || +55 || HIT: 871 || SB: 878 || PIM: 393
Playoffs: GP: 92 || G: 11 || A: 43 || P: 54 || -1 || HIT: 121 || SB: 128 || PIM: 71
--------------------------------------
SMJHL Career Stats
Regular Season: GP: 150 || G: 35 || A: 72 || P: 107 || 0 || HIT: 64 || SB: 143 || PIM: 83
Playoffs: GP: 27 || G: 3 || A: 13 || P: 16 || -5 || HIT: 13 || SB: 21 || PIM: 9
--------------------------------------
Transactions
Drafted 4th Overall by the Colorado Mammoths (S34)
Signed a $2m/1yr contract with the Colorado Mammoths (S34)
Drafted 3rd Overall by the West Kendall Platoon (S35)
Signed a $9m/3yr (3m AAV) contract with the West Kendall Platoon (S35)
Signed a $6m/2yr (3m AAV) extension with the West Kendall Platoon (S38)
Signed a $18m/3yr (6m AAV) contract with the Hamilton Steelhawks (S42)
Traded to the Toronto North Stars (S45)
Signed with the Hamilton Steelhawks (S47)
Traded to the Tampa Bay Barracuda (S49)
--------------------------------------
Accomplishments
Named Alternate Captain of the Colorado Mammoths (S34, S35)
Quilha Agante Trophy for Best Defenceman (S35)
Named Captain of the Colorado Mammoths (S36)
Won Gold Medal with Team Germany (S36)
Named Alternate Captain of the West Kendall Platoon (S40)
Won Bronze Medal with Team Germany (S40)
Won Challenge Cup with the West Kendall Platoon (S41)



Bastien Marchessault || VAN Head/AGM (S37 - S42) || 1x Four-Star, 3x Laurifer, 2x GMOTY

--------------------------------------
Regular Season Stats:
TOTALS: GP: 300 || W: 158 || L: 112 || OTL: 30 || GF: 912 || GA: 865 || GF/GA: 1.05
--------------------------------------
Playoff Stats:
VAN S42: GP: 0 || W: 0 || L: 0 || OTL: 0 || GF: 0 | GA: 0
VAN S41: GP: 5 || W: 1 || L: 4 || OTL: 0 || GF: 10 | GA: 13
VAN S40: Did Not Qualify
VAN S39: GP: 15 || W: 10 || L: 5 || OTL: 0 || GF: 52 | GA: 43
VAN S38: GP: 4 || W: 0 || L: 4 || OTL: 0 || GF: 11 || GA: 19
VAN S37: Did Not Qualify
--------------------------------------
Transactions
Named Co-GM of the Vancouver Whalers (S37)
Named Head GM of the Vancouver Whalers (S42)
--------------------------------------
Accomplishments
Laurifer Trophy Winner (S41, S42, S43)
Occasus Trophy Winner (S42)
Mathias Chouinard Award for Best GM (S41, S42)