The Anaheim Analyst

McCloud: "I think I'm ready for the draft"

Yoshimitsu McCloud of the Anaheim Outlaws says that he's proud and ready after a week of specific practices for all SHL teams

The tale of the unusual rookie Yoshimitsu McCloud, currently playing for our Anaheim Outlaws should be reaching its' second hallmark in a couple of days, as the SHL draft looms closer and closer, showing its' shadow above all players that will have, at last, the knowledge of who they'll play for once their time in the Minors is done. Of course, the Irish right winger has been spending the past couple of days busy with the rest of Team British Isles at the WJC, but he also noted that he spent some of his time practicing for every single possible outcome of the draft.

"My teammate Seger told me that I should focus on being ready for all of the teams in the SHL. Granted he said that I should watch like a bunch of tapes and whatnot, which was really boring... and I kind of don't know how to operate those newfangled computers of theirs." McCloud, instead of performing the usual sort of practice that every normal hockey player would, has instead preferred for more... unorthodox methods, shall we say. "Most of those were a bit rough, but I think I'm ready for anything now."

According to McCloud, he started by practicing for the Los Angeles Panthers via staying inside the cage of the Panthers back at the Anaheim local zoo. "They were a bit upset that I was there, but they scurried away to the other end of the cage once I sliced some of the meat they were thrown. I guess that means I'm a bit too scary for the Panthers, but surely I'll be able to befriend them all if I do end up there." He also talked about his practice for other teams, such as dodging a flamethrower in order to prepare for the Calgary Dragons, defeat a group of rampaging bulls at Pamplona for the Buffalo Stampede and the Manhattan Rage, have dinner with wolves for the New England Wolfpack and feed a couple of wild hawks for the Steelhawks.

The only injury he relates getting was a slight cold from his practice for the Texas Renegades and the New Orleans Spectres, a result of staying in a cold cemetery for an entire night. "I actually had an easy time, managed to talk with the night guard for a good while and all. He was a bit worried over me staying there for the night, said it was very weird, but I told him that it was very important for my development as a player and possible future star of the league... although I do think now that it's not really going to help me as a hockey player since all I did there was stay up all night between tombstones and stuff." He sighed. "Also, didn't find any Spectres or Renegades. I wonder why they're not there though. I mean, a graveyard should be their home environment."

"Think the only team I had a hard time preparing for was the West Kendall Platoon." He said, shuddering. "Platoon ain't a bad movie but after the fifth time, it's... uh... kind of sad. Really contrasts staying on top of a flying jet for the Winnipeg Jets as well." The self-proclaimed Irish ninja is already in the upcoming draft pool, although most specialists don't really mention where he'll be picked, with some assuming he'll be a late round name due to not being in the same level as his teammates. Outlaw fans should be in ease, however, as McCloud still has quite some time to play for the Outlaws in any case as long as he doesn't try to teach Outlungus how to do the "Shadow Clones Technique"... again.

698 words.

Player Page - Update Page

Former Players: Yoshimitsu McCloud (LW, #64) -
Won a Four Star Cup once, knew ninjutsu, picture editors hated him, never tried free agency
Anton Harrier (LW, #90) -
Won WJC gold, liked skateboarding a lot, went to the finals with Manhattan, kept his seat glued in LR

Lmao, nice work in the Panther enclosure.