game 89


Scoring Summary
Prince George scored the only goal of the first period. It was all started by Eduard Selich > turning the god damn puck over deep in the Kelowna zone, the Knights were being a bunch of dirty fuckin cheaters and got caught trying to spring Otto up the center of the ice. Never pass in front of your own goal especially when you suck to begin with. Selich found the puck back on his stick after Cloud Strife held the zone on Kottbulle's stretch pass. He missed from the left wing boards but this chick had the errant shot ride the wall around to her where i don't fuckin know she shot it probably, but what if there was time to skate back to Ben Waters flash her titties then go coast to coast. OH! I can see it now! O'Sullivan with the puck on a string gets both nipples fully exposed before curling around her own net with tons of momentum. That bitch doesn't even think about passing as Kelowna defenders line up behind her! SHE'S in ALL alone WITH dong IN net OHHHHH!!!! BABY!!!! puck went in net hurr durr
Trick fuckin Edwards went to the box for being a ho, got caught tuggin another man, can't stand for that shit send him to the box. Knights take the PP in stride if ya feel and really fuck up for a while until Vasily Horvat hit that Nazi child Cukurs in the Prince George end. Sven Wolf picked up the puck and made a shitty pass that Sorenson picked off for Kelowna. went offside though . . Sexy Sorenson to hungry Horvat crossing the PGF blue line. Aw shit he finds Bergfalk, that dude shits his pants but gets a shovel pass into the corner for Alex Light. He glides behind the net and sends one straight out for Tomas the Tonka Csonka who buried it. Maybe they just found a lane for the pass to Csonka, but what if Alex Light pissed in his bed the night before and just had to flip the mattress??? He'd be real wet if he didn't the next day, and real god damn angry. Maybe sticky wet Light wanted to show the world he was in control and not his bladder so he tries for a wrap around, but yeah some other dude scores. Where am i
Fuuck another penalty, this time Yaneder the child Dilder went off for thrashing and slashing his wrists. The Knights PP worked for a little over a minute before getting a whistle to that left a draw to the left of Aittokallio. Otto who's 53.85% on the face off dot this season with his fuckin 61 ST 61 FO won it back for Bergalk who scored who knows, maybeeeee he just ripped one in while there was traffic in front after the draw... But whaat ifff.... right before the face off Bergalk went.. went itnto a different dimension where he was again a child, reliving the time his dad told him to stop being such a fuckkin pussy and just fight the kids calling him names at school... So he went to school but got to scared to fight... he knew without a doubt he would lose. Then Bergalk just wiped his ass with napkins at lunch and stuck them in a few kids folders while they ate. Then with that thought he laughed at Ben Waters for having sniffed a little of his shit and put one home on em to win the game.
3 Stars
1 - Jason Aittokallio (KEL)
Saved 26 of 27 shots, was also noted for picking up one of the linesmen's phone numbers, they're going to brunch at the Kelowna liquid zoo
2 - Lykke Bergfalk (KEL)
oOoh a goal aaaand an assist my oh my Lykke went out with two shots a hit and a mufuckin blocked shot in 20 minutes played. Spend 4 mins on the Pk that surrendered 0 goals.
3 - Tomas Csonka (KEL)
Goddam 7 minutes played, but the game winning goal was on this dudes stick. He won 5 of 10 face offs and might have caught a rash on the bench ya know what i maennnn. he was jerkin it cause he didn't play alrighhht
Other shit

Frederick Boone went 11/20 on the dot with a +1 rating hit 5 bitches and took 3 shots on goal and 1 to the dome off the stick of Alex Light in the 3rd period.

Vasily Horvat took 3 minors in the game the Knights killed off, he hit 5 people in 19 minutes played.

Pimp Trick Gansta Clique Edwards only played nine minutes but spent 4 in the box, took 3 shots tho.

Eduard Selich had an assist with 4 shots on goal

Barak Obrana kissed her mom before the game and everyone in PGF totally saw. it was hot. lots of tongue