TASK ONE:

Due to it's regional proximity to Vancouver and, more in more recent developments, Portland, Seattle is proud to give away at it's first home game promotional RIOT GEAR! Oh but don't start setting cars on fire and burning down the small businesses of foreigners just yet, fans! Made from the highest quality styrofoam and plastic, these novelty helmets and plush, spongy batons are adorned with your team colours and will be given to the first 10,000 people through the door! Intimidate the visiting team by making violent gestures at them, and do your part to ensure a hilarious slapstick riot develops should your hometown team lose! Plus, show up in your best homemade Riot Gear and be entered into a draw to receive a police escort to your car in the event of a loss! Show your pride this Sunday as Seattle meets New England and be ready to riot, y'all!

TASK THREE: Write a 150 word radio advert for the S32 Finals Matchup.

Come one, come all! This Sunday, live from historic Madison Square Garden, it's Game One of the Challenge Cup Finals between the Calgary Dragons and your Manhattan Rage! Come in droves to watch the greatest sport on Earth and cheer on your hometown Rage as they battle for the most prestigious title in all of fake hockey in the most famous arena of all time! The Rage have made short work of their first two round opponents, and need your help bringing the Championship home! Make sure to show up early, as the first 6,000 fans in the door will get one of six limited edition Missed The Playoffs All Star Team Bobbleheads, with one lucky fan walking away with the whole collection! The puck drops at some point after the sim, so be sure to get your seat and get ready to RAGE! Or don't, we're still a country that practices freedom of expression for now. But preferably, RAAAAAGE!

TASK FOUR: Who is your choice for MVP? Must be 150 words.

When deciding a Most Valuable Player, one traditionally would consider the player most responsible to ensuring his teams success, as well as exceptional play. While few players in the league carried the load solely, one could argue that Vlad , with 70 points to lead the league, and 12 points more than his closest teammate, covered as much of the Rage would give him, and was instrumental to their success. The Rage exceeded expectations throughtout the regular season, based heavily on McZerl's strong, near 28 minute a night average performance. McZerl was an all around terror, coming up 2nd in the league in goals (with 31) and assists (with 39), while contributing 5 big game winning goals throughout the season. A strong argument could be made for Lord Pretty Flacko, whose contributions and league leading goal totals gave Minnesota one last shot as relevance before the rebuild, but McZerl debatably carried Manhattan all the way from a playoff cusp team to 2nd place in their conference and deserves the Sarmad Khan award

TASK FIVE:

C-Luke Fleming
Super star and super bae. North of 20 goals and 20 assists this season. Deserved a better finish. Still though, bae as all hell, on and off the ice.
W-Geoffrey Allen
Also fairly bae. Can't you just see his sad face over missing the playoffs? Doesn't it make you sad? It makes me sad. 47 points to lead the Renegades in scoring. Also Onyx is better than Pushkin.
W-Kristian Eriksson
Over 20 goals on one of the worst non-Portland teams in the league. Good enough for the nod. One of only two 20 goal men in the North Stars lineup.
D-Kelly Rivet
The shot blocking master and second sexiest player on his own defensive pair. Did his best to keep Admirals games respectable despite mediocre partnership.
D-Friedrich Muller
Could make an argument that he carried the Stampede on defense. Had a quality year making the best of a guaranteed poor campaign for the team.
G-Christoffer Bjornsson
Excellent numbers for a goalie whose team didn't make the post season. A 26-15-2 record is a frustratingly good one to take to the golf course with you.