Tuesday
It has come to the attention of the league that West Kendall Platoon forward Alex Light was arrested last evening after the game on weapons charges and auto theft. Mr. Light apparently went out after the game with some local young ladies looking to party. Upon being thrown out of several Winnipeg hotspots for being too drunk and belligerent Light got upset and started shouting, “Do you know who I am? Don’t you know I’m loco, ese? I’ll come back here strapped and we’ll see what’s up!” It was at this point that Light jumped into a convertible BMW that the valet had Idling outside the club. He sped off the wrong way down a one way street.

Light somehow reached his hotel room and started sending threatening texts and pictures out to the clubs that he had been at earlier. Police were called and an arrest was made around 4:30 this morning. We have one of the shots here for your edification.




A league spokesman stated this morning that the incident is under review and punishment will be handed down soon.

Wednesday
Beaujeaux Biscuit has a chance to cement his legacy as one of the great SHL goalies with this finals. Having already backstopped one cup win, a second would put him into some elite company. The question is whether the ginger goalie is ready to take that step or will he flame out.

The Winnipeg Jets  have  to be considered the favorites in this Challenge Cup Finals. They won the President’s Trophy with an incredible record in the regular season. The team is stacked top to bott9m with talent including Jason Visser, one of the top players in the game. If they don’t bring it home it will be a major disappointment.

The West Kendall Platoon need this series more in terms of legacy. They have long had a reputation as an excellent team that can’t get over the hump in the playoffs. They did manage to win a cup a few years back but one more would really change the perception around the league of the Platoon as a snake bitten franchise.

Thursday
Bojo’s Biscuits

1.Remove the testicles from a half dozen Boeing employees
2. Dry testes prior to flouring
3. Egg wash and then batter
4. Lightly fry with salt and pepper to taste



Zach Evans Down Home Sweet Tea

1. Boil the water. Bring 4 cups of the water to a boil in a small saucepan over medium-high heat. Remove from heat.

2. Steep the tea for 5 minutes. Dunk the tea bags a few times in the water to fully hydrate, then leave submerged with the strings hanging over the side of the pot. After 5 minutes, remove the bags and discard.

3. Add the sugar to the tea. Add the sugar and stir until completely dissolved.

4. Pour the tea base into the pitcher. If using multiple pitchers, divide the tea evenly between them.

5. Top off the pitchers with water. Add 3 more quarts of water to the tea base to make a gallon of sweet tea and stir to combine.

6. Refrigerate until very cold. Refrigerate for at least 4 hours or, ideally, overnight.

7. Serve over ice. Pour the sweet tea into ice-filled glasses. Add a sprig of mint or a slice of lemon to each, if desired!




Friday
As the first period wound down in West Kendall, disaster struck! Katy Perry, super hot, generously proportioned singing star of stage and screen came down with a sudden attack of gout and announced she would be unable to provide the between period mini concert she was supposed to perform. Platoon management was in an uproar, with time ticking down and no clue about what to to do. To make matters worse, additional funds were unavailable.

It was at this moment that the retired Toonza legend Slappy McDoodle, at the game as a spectator,  stopped by the back offices to see if any of the vials of the good, liquid LSD he’d stashed back in the day were still around. McDoodle, known to be a charismatic though extremely weird guy became managements desperation move. They gave him a microphone and sent him out onto the ice with the instructions, “Just go entertain the people. Maybe skate around a little. Sing some of that Sinatra you like.” Well, Slappy had found some of that good acid and dropped a few hits onto his tongue before going out. What transpired was a twenty minute lecture on surrealism versus reality wIth quite a few tangents into metaphysical rambling.



Which group will end up with more total Blocks in Game 4 of the series?

Ludwig Koch Schroder and Jon Ross