Bonus: Ludwig Koch Schroder and Jon Ross




Task 1


hey, hey, turn this shit up right here!



Listen up little fans and let me tell ya,

about the West Kendall and there big fella,

Nicknamed “the wall” because you can't get by,

slides in the crease like shit attracts a fly,

Stops the shots like a bartender after last call,

Has his own section in the locker room, his stall (stall mother fucker!)

Mother fucker must've just came out of the oven cuz he's a Biscuit,

dude is like a brisket sitting piled high on a triscuit!


Drop the puck mother fuckers it is time to play


drop the puck stupid zebra lets get on our way,

Drop the puck you dirty bitch its time to roll,

drop the puck fucking bitch its time to score some goals,


Ready for part two of this stupid sick jam?

This fucking keeper just doesn't give a damn,

Zhumbayev is his name and isn't like no other,

watch out because he's gonna fuck your mother,

Gloves so quick he is getting calls from boxers,

Man made of golds, like the king of the Medes, Cyaxares,

Stops pucks like it is job because, well it is,

Tokek is a pussy who gives old ladies the biz.
I'd like to apologize for this in advance, thanks.



Task 2:

Winnipeg - Rumors surfaced today that the placeholder defensemen Troy McClure 3 was caught performing a disgusting and criminal act with the worlds oldest prostitute during a practice this week. The league would like to make clear that they support local business, but such sexual acts must be done with a permit. We would like to offically apologize on behalf of the Winnipeg Jets, the people of Winnipeg, and the persons who had to spend the next days cleaning up after the act took place. The failure for Troy McClure III to obtain a public sex permit is disgusting and the league will have a sit down discussion with Troy in the offseason. Once again we are sorry that Troy rode a 95 year old woman "the dirty way" through the streets of Winnipeg without permit. Next time he will get said permit before doing such acts. He has also been fined 50 dollars, the cost of the permit. Thank you. 

Task 3: @FlappyGiraffe

How do you see yourself getting used in this series?

Flappy: I see myself getting used in a shutdown role, to try and stop the rampant West Kendall offense. So far I haven't done a great job, but it's still early in the series!


Who is the worst player on the jets?

Flappy: The worst player on the Jets by far is Jensen Trygg. He is so bad that Zach Evans sacrificed him to Simon T midway through game 2 of the finals. He was recently extended for S44, but I'm not sure if we'll see him at camp.

What is your goal coming out of the finals?

Flappy: My goal coming out of the finals is to win my first Challenge Cup, as well as prove to the rest of the league that last year was an outlier and that the Winnipeg Jets are still the real deal.







Task 4 = No thanks

Task 5:

- What young player has a chance to make a name for them self in this series?

Troy Mcclure III, the young defensemen who was a suprise to make the jets this year, could be a series difference if he'd get his act together. So far no good as the Winnipeg jets are down 3 to 0 in the series. Expect Troy to continue to receive sheltered minutes as he tries to find his game. 

- Who is the favorite and who is the underdog of this series and why? 

At the start of this series, the Jets were the favorite to win. Looking at 4 must win games, however, it is obvious that the Jets are now the underdogs. West Kendell has had the jets number from the first goal in the series, and the Jets have to change something to get an edge here and win some games. However, I'm still rooting for the Jets to take the final in 7. 

- Which organization needs this championship more in terms of legacy?


- Who has been there teams surprise player in the post season?

The biggest surprise player for this series has been West Kendells goaltender, Beaujeaux Biscuit. Don't get it twisted, the Platoon have played great and really exposed Winnipeg's weakness, but Biscuit has made some amazing saves on this high powered Jets team. The MVP vote will go to Biscuit, assuming the Platoon win. The Jets have only one more chance to solve Beaujeaux Biscuit and the Platoon. 



Task 9:

In 150 words or more, explain what you came up with and how will it be implamented. The Plan must include a diagram or picture.

SHE CHANGED HER MIND?! LIKE A GIRL CHNAGES CLOTHES?! ...I hope mrs. Perry isn't PMSing like a bitch. Only she would know. 

After some careful considerations, I spring my plan into action. First, I call the Head Office. When they don't answer, I give up and make my own plan. I contact the arena personnel and let them know the situation. The only way this is going to work is if we have every single person on board. They tell the refs, the refs tell all the players, and we ensure that our plan is going to work from our end.

https://imgur.com/a/6C1hnSd


Then I run to the dollar store and buy 11 packs of blue rubber bands. During intermission the lights fade. All the players from both teams skate out and the PA announcer screams "WHO WANTS A FREE WRIST BAND!!!" the players then throw the rubber bands into the crowds. The ushers empty there pockets and throw even more rubber bands. There will be rubberbands everywhere! The fans will go nuts as the PA system plays some toto or something, it doens't matter, because there are FREE WRISTBANDS!!