"I don't know if I'm actually allowed to talk about this, but I guess I'm gonna fuckin' do it anyway and talk about an old friend of mine named Bojo Biscuit. (@.bojo)

Back when I was playing Juniors, in the system of the West Kendall Platoon, Bojo was a man who did things to me. Terrible, awful things, like forcing me to clean his mansion in a maid costume, or harassing me at the local Denny's because I actually wanted a Grand Slam and didn't have a personal chef to cook for me. Bojo and I never got to play together, but I'll never forget that man because he changed me. For good.

So what exactly is he up to now? God only fucking knows. I mean, the last time I saw Bojo? He was being arrested by Miami PD for public indecency after getting into a naked row with one of his thirty maids on top of several long-expired traffic tickets. He did get let out on bail after that, but it's only because of me. I mean, he called my cell phone about a day after I saw him getting arrested. This would've been... I don't know, three seasons into my tenure with West Kendall? We never actually played a single game together, but he calls me up and he says, 'Finn. It's me.' And I'm rightfully confused, right, so I say 'Me who?' and the jackass responds with 'Who the fuck else is going to call you at two in the afternoon from a fucking prison cell?!' And that's when I knew Bojo was about to ask me to bail him out of prison. Initially, I lead the conversation with 'Fuck you, you made me dress up as a maid and clean your toilet with a toothbrush,' but then I realized that this might have been the perfect time to keep tabs on Bojo and have a little leverage over him finally. So I said, 'How much is your bail posted at,' and he tells me the number and I say to him 'Fine. I'll bail you out. But you owe me, Biscuit.' I'm still waiting on the day that I can cash that one in, but you know, I think it'll be pretty fucking hysterical to see the look on his face whenever I do.

Beyond that though? I dunno, I wouldn't be surprised if he's working at a Popeye's or something. Fuckin' bum."