After winning the cup last season the Edmonton Blizzard were invited to England to meet the Queen. I was excited to travel overseas and meet this old lady face to face. When we got to London we were told some specific rules for interacting with her and it was going to be a great night. I went to a fancy suit maker in town that has been in business for over 100 years. They made me the finest suit by hand to fit my perfectly chiseled body and massive thighs. The team was taking a few limo's to the red carpet where we would get a chance to shake hands face to face with the Queen herself. I've heard she's reptilian so I wanted get up close and see for myself. When my turn to meet her came I was shocked at how small this bitch was. Maybe 4 feet tall? She smelled like my grandma mixed with the inside of a wet soggy airplane from the 70's that was heavily smoked in.