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Lunatyck · 08-12-2019, 11:31 AM

Halo.

Przemek here and I coming to you with very important news that many no hearing yet, but I am very exciting to share. As you know, my last business venture no working out too great with Kielbasa Koin. I losing much money and people making fun of my business adventure so I no feeling too good about this. I try very hard to selling people the dream of Kielbasa Koin and telling them many benefits, mainly kielbasa. However, people no understanding currency cryptology so I having to cut tie from this projekt. However, I am no giving up on business venturing because I have much ambition to purchase most land in all of Stare Bystre, except in order to achieving goal, I must having more money because playing in SHL is very expensive if you wanting to have top ekipment. THat being said, I am here to telling you my latest business opportunity, and I warning you gentlemans, that your girlfriend or wife may not behaving same after she trying this produkt.

As you may hearing before, I am man who love many women, especially women of night. Now some people not appreciating this behavior much, but I liking friendly women especially ones from Czechia because everyone know, they are best (unlike dirty Ruski girl who smell like vomit from dog). Anyway during offseason, I training in Europe as tradition and as you can imagining, I go to visit Czechia and as usual, paying visit to ladies of night. A few drinks and I go to the best area of Prague, and I encounter some nice blonde girl which I wanting to .. well you know. So I entering the room, she telling me price but then she telling me promotion that if I can be recording, then is 50% off or free 2nd girl. Well.. how can you saying no to 2nd girl? So I accepting such beautiful offer and we begin (however looking back I probably should konsulting my agent but he is boring annoying man so to hell go with him). We enjoy ourselves and I begin to leave but it was then that blonde girl agent approaching me. At this moment, I thinking they will try rob me so I prepare for violence, but man saying

"Sir, calm down. I am not here to try to hurt or rob you. I'm actually stunned about what I saw and want to talk to you about something."

Stunned? I am confusing and I don't think I did anything wrong but I am very confusing.

"Talk about what mister?"

"Well to be honest, I have not seen a meat flute like that since Peter North and honestly, I think it can be worth millions. You're a famous hockey player right? I think I recognize the face plus all the ladies know all about you here"

"Yes Hockey player I am in best liga SHL! What do you mean meat flute? I no playing any instrument"

"Well PB.. let's just say what dangles between your legs is something that we don't see very often in this industry. And lucky for you, God has gifted you with athleticism and a full on package. How would you like to share your 'package' with ladies all over the world?"

Ladies all over world? Well of course I no saying no. I am lover of many women and would love to maybe love them all.

"What do you mean? I am still very confusing."

"My name is Petr Dobryvudka and I run many companies in the adult entertainment industry. One of my most lucrative business, aside from these 'play houses', is molding of famous peoples packages and we sell them all over the world. People love to buy these things and you get a royalty cut for providing us a mold of your family jewels. What do you say?"

"You mean you wanting make dildo of my kielbasa?"

"That is exactly what I am saying. The whole process doesn't take long and we can be putting your Kielbasa online and all the shelves in the world in a few weeks time. You'll have money flowing in left and right and if the ladies didn't love you enough, they'll love you even more after they see what you're packing."

"I mean, how I can say no? You giving me money and making my kielbasa famous? YOU HAVE A DEAL!"

So Mr. Petr giving me his kontact information and telling me to meet him next day in his fabryka to begin the process. I arriving in this place the next morning and I making sure to extra clean and trim there so my kielbasa looking nice for everyone. I must saying that I am very nervous because I no doing such things like this before, but I enter the room. In the room, Mr Petr is there with 3 beautiful women plus 2 lady engineer to assist in process. Mr Petr telling me I probably more comfortable if only girls here so he explain how everything working, and that he will step outside while the engineer doing the work while 3 women keeping me... 'excite'. And very excite I am. The engineer lady bringing out clay, girls applying ointment so no sticking (because we no wanting that), and we complete the work in few time. After, 3 girl invite me to shower and because they very nice lady, they assist me also. The engineer ladies was very impressed and even let me taking photo of my molding before it go into produktion. Here is molding before going to make finalny produkt:

[Image: IBHOF_16_06_10_10-X3.jpg]

As you can see, God blessing me with very fortunate hammer. I invite you all to spicing up your night life with your female (or male partner - I no dyskrymynant) and purchasing PB kielbasa. If you entering promo kod "kielbasa" you receiving 10% off your order. I must adding disclaimer that if your wife or girlfriend never act the same after using my produkt, you purchasing with own risk :D

Anyway, that is all time I having today but I hoping to share more story with you in the future. For now that is all I having to updating.

Love,
Przemek

1,045 words my dudes

adamantium · 08-12-2019, 01:41 PM

shut the site down, it's not getting better than this

sigs by me bitch

*thiefofcheese* · 08-12-2019, 03:22 PM

I second the vote for stopping all media after this. We got a vote going for best thread of the year?

Loco · 08-12-2019, 03:45 PM

do you have to shave before you do that

***Blastmeaway*** · 08-12-2019, 03:53 PM

08-12-2019, 03:45 PMLoco Wrote: do you have to shave before you do that

no?

Shout out to ml002, schultzy, slashacm, tedward!
[Image: blastmeaway.gif]

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09-05-2018, 10:04 PMBeaver Wrote: Wow look what the PT affiliation has done to our pristine league.

12-19-2018, 12:31 AMBeaver Wrote: I personally blame the PT affiliation for handing out massive amounts of free TPE to all these players, inflating the TPE they're at when they get called up.

[Image: Capture21.PNG?width=400&height=90]

Lunatyck · 08-12-2019, 05:16 PM

08-12-2019, 03:53 PMBlastmeaway Wrote:
08-12-2019, 03:45 PMLoco Wrote: do you have to shave before you do that

no?

PB chose to shave because he was told that "you trim the bushes to make the tree look taller"

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