I'm done.
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TheHockeyist
Registered Posting Freak
Didn't want to go this way, but after talking with my GM @kenvald it was recommended that I go this route. I'll explain below.
As some of you know, I've been experiencing increasingly severe episodes of depression. Lately they've gotten so extreme that I've requested a break from my technical institution. I do not know if the break will be only for three months, longer, or be permanent. On my worse days, a depressive episode results in things going over the edge for me. I even consider self-injurious behaviors. When this happens, I am no longer able to think clearly, I don't care about anything anymore, and I snap at even the most minor things that are "wrong". If I have to write SHL media, I put no effort into it while simultaneously being a hypocrite about the poor quality of SHL media. I rage about grammar. I attack other users. This was pointed out and I was asked to stop. This led to a discussion between Kenvald and me just minutes before my scheduled therapist appointment. I was asked to rate my days out of ten long term. Most days were 3/10 a a long-term average. To the therapist, this was concerning and more information was requested. At the end of the session, I was declared to be "borderline nonfunctional" with a worsening prognosis. Medical intervention was suggested should the trend continue. A doctor's appointment was scheduled the next week. Once that happened, I talked with Kenvald some more, who suggested it was in my (and the team's) best interest to retire Igor at the end of the season. As a result, I am now typing this up. I did not intend for Igor to go this way (I would have never imagined I'd retire Igor over a mental health crisis I was having), but it is ultimately for my long-term mental health. I'd like to thank the users who brought me here - @"luketd" and @aaronwilson and all of the Vancouver guys from S47-S48, congrats on our Four-Star Cup, @Shmurph for initially drafting me to Minnesota, @SpartanGibbles for the time in Minnesota that I had before I left (I know we had a falling out, but thanks for suggesting that I get help. This is the entire reason why I'm making this post.), @Ace and @kenvald for my great time in New England that was unfortunately cut short by a mental health crisis. I don't intend to return to the site. If I do return, it will be under a clearer mind, a fresh start, and a new username. I've started to hate my current one and I'd rather not associate myself with my troubled past anymore. For now though, I need to remove my obligations and take care of my well-being and mental health in real life. I don't know how long that will take. Here's to the amazing time that I've had, and the unfortunate end of it. I apologize that I've left so abruptly. Thanks for this amazing journey. Igor Volkov is done. We'll just say he had a fatal lab accident in the offseason that was due to... uh, negligence of his handwriting and misreading one chemical name as another. That's all. S48 Four Star Cup Champion (Vancouver Whalers)
JNH
Registered S35 Challenge Cup Champion || Still Drunk
Hey man, I'm really sorry to hear this. It seems like you're taking the right steps for the right reasons and I wish you the best in your path to recovery. Take care!
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luke
SHL GM Admiral of the Data Seas
Thank you for your time in Vancouver. you are a great guy. I still remember the pixel art you did of the solar system. Take care man. I hope you get the help that you need <3
Proud that you are seeking out and getting the help that you needed. I appreciate you Edit: https://preview.redd.it/866m0vpeo4d31.pn...c90c4b165d this was it for anyone that wanted to see the pixel art of the solar system
dmills3
Registered back and worse than ever
Sorry Igor had to go out like this man. I enjoyed coming up in the SMJHL with you and you were a great teammate in our S48 cup win. I'm sure I speak for the rest of Vancouver, it was a pleasure being your teammate. Hopefully all gets better for you, as you're already seeking out help, there isn't much I can say besides best of luck to you man in your recovery and future well-being.
SDCore
Simmer General Dumbass of the Site
I wish you the best. Mental health is absolutely no joke. If you decide to come back, we will welcome you. Cheers to a speedy recovery and an improved mental state.
boom
SHL GM pure of heart, dumb of ass
Best of luck in the future.
Nhamlet
Budget Director Weenie Hut Jr. GM
Thank you for taking the time to share your side of things. It sounds like you have some supports around you and I wish you the best on your path to recovery.
Any of us would need a break in the same shoes and at the end of the day, taking care of yourself is the best choice. Good luck in the future, through the good days and the bad.
trella
Registered ambacas
Ace
SHL GM Chief Chicken Officer
I am glad to hear you’re taking care of yourself. Do whatever you need to address your mental health buddy.
The SHL will be here when you are ready. Pouring one out for Igor. RIP Dangel. See you on the other side, brother
hhh81
SHL GM Brennan Lee Mulligan Stan
Vandy
SHL GM SHL GM
Its a shame to see anyone leave, good or bad, you've certainly made a mark on the community that will be hard to replace.
RL and mental health come first, above all others. Take the time to find yourself and love yourself again. This site never ceases to amaze me. For all of the shit that we give each other you never have to look far for people who truly care about you enough to invest in your wellbeing. Take care and be well.
MCP_
Registered Posting Freak
JaytheGreat
Donators Donated
Sad to see you go, but your health is should be the number one priority. Thank you for being a good teammate in New England and Russia.
Take care my friend.
charlieconway
Registered Posting Freak
Wishing you all the best, dude. I hope your life turns around so that you start finding each day better than the last.
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