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Fitted2106 · 02-01-2021, 11:10 PM

MY BABY TAKES THE MORNING TRAIN HE WORKS FROM 9 TO 5 AND THEN OTHER WORDS BLAH BLAH BLAH

FHN DRAFT ANYLASIS

[Image: Bernie_Sanders_Iowa_Victory_Speech_React...124041.jpg]

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WELCOME ONE AND WELCOME ALL it is I stan savern your host for this the S58 entry draft where we have many young terrific and superfluous prospects ready to take that all important first step into there pro hockey careers. It's my belief that teams can completly change there fortunes with just one pick as they hand the keys of there franchise to the next potential star. Before we get into the draftees we have a word from our sponser.

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Now back to the action as I said before there are so many fresh young faces that are coming down the pike this year now let's get to know then

Coming in at number 1 as a suprise to no one is this years number one prospect he is the presence incarnate of what it means to be a fucking dagger. He swims he skims he even talks to people named tim. The one The only LUC BLOUIN AKA SOBER STANLY.

1 . Barracuda Tampa Bay Barracuda - Luc Blouin 320 tpe
The kids on d and has tons of upside. A main stay on the site teddy was a no brainer at numerou uno. It can debated the first gens can be better for upside but with teddy your getting a knockout pick that you know will be near the top of earners when it's all said and done. Tamoa has now accumulated the best farm system in the shl and with many coming up to the league teddy replenishes the prospect pool and makes things better. Gonna be a wild fishy ride in tampa but we ain't doin no titanic sink fuck out of here, teddy boy here to come up with the cuda feel me.

2 . pride San Francisco Pride -

Gregory Goodetpe 329

A great puckhandling defencemen who can push the puck up ice with the best if them theres no doubt he should be a supreme addition to the pride. While the pride have a way to go to be contenders again starting on the back end in my humble opinion is always the way to go. Gotta be able to stop then from scoring before you do the scoring. This will not be the last we here from this kid that's for sure.

3 . Platoon Baltimore Platoon - Mew Two 324 toe
Now here's a guy that ranks 16th in the class in terms of tpe so it's a bit puzzling as to why this one went third with so many great prospects out there. Mew too is an offensive minded winger who can play some in his own end but its definatly not his bread and butter. With that said this pick may pay off in spades the jury is still out though and we may not know for 5-7 years if this was a good pick.

4 . Platoon Baltimore Platoon ( Monarchs -> Steelhawks -> Platoon ) - Noel Blanchet 308tpe
Another head scratcher from Baltimore another player who ranks somewhat low maybe he and mew too had phenomenal draft interviews? The world may never no never the less they should make good shl players its just not known if they will be franchise altering players.

5 . Steelhawks Hamilton Steelhawks ( Argonauts -> Steelhawks ) - Dogwood Maple 314tpe
A very gifted playmaker who's main goal is to dish the biscuit and make it home before dinner. A hungry good boi who always puts it right in the wheelhouse so guys can bingo it home. Of course hamilton somehow has a top pick again at this point I'm pretty sure they have blackmail on every gm. The astonishing amount of draft capital that this team acquires tells this independent journalist something is up.

6 . Specters New Orleans Specters ( Stars -> Specters ) - Friedensreich Hundertwasser 337 toe
A noble skater who's pass first always with his head up and making the right play a coaches dream this reporter says. This could end up great for NOLA as this has steal written all over it. It's not often you get someone of this caliber at 6 and boy NOLA has got to be joyous with this selection.

7 . Stampede Buffalo Stampede ( Specters -> Stampede ) - Bean Beanman 305 toe
Another d off the board and another high pick for one of the great fakes division teams. At this point anyone who trades with these guys needs fired like you've got to be kidding me here we go again not even gonna talk about beanman or whatever.

8 . Barracuda Tampa Bay Barracuda ( Wolfpack -> Barracuda ) - Finn von Murphenstein 377 toe
A offensive minded d who comes to join more tampa elites baby gonna be some great years ahead and this one will be helping out the pack soon boy oh boy is it good to be a tampa. We love our prospects here in south beach and treat them like royalty heres to u murphenstien let's fucking gooooooo

9 . Inferno Atlanta Inferno ( Panthers -> Inferno ) - Pavel Jeziak 295tpe
Another high ceiling foreward who sells out in the offensive zone as well he should with the tools in his toolbox. With a name like pavel he better plop many goals in the basket because that's a score name. Atlanta will have many regressing players and pavel intends to be there when it is time

10 . Dragons Calgary Dragons - Richard LaFleur 330 toe
Another big steal in the draft is lafleur a study puck moving d which there seems to be a lot of in this draft. Calgary could be finding Otis b driftwood replacement here and it's about time as Otis is on the wrong side of 35. Calgary hopes to get many miles out of this stud and surely should as in my opinion he is a top 5 talent.

11 . Inferno Atlanta Inferno - Puddles O'Duck 289
An actual fucking suck from the university of Oregon kinda curious to see how this animal looks on the ice. It is ore believed that he may also be for dinner mid season if grocery stores close. Puddles will have a chance to vindicate this decision and show the nay sayers that he will thrive and be worthy if this 12th overall pick. Some have petitioned peta to step in and put puddles back in the wild but NAW said atalanta so fuck it.

12 . Specters New Orleans Specters (Rage -> Specters) - Nikolaj Boyle345 toe
This speedster was high on my board and I was shocked to see him drop this far but hey sometimes that happens. This draft so far has gone against logic as teams dodnt take the best avilable athlete but more the personal that fits there team best. Nikolaj will bring hefty amounts of wheels to NOLA no doubt about it.

13 . Renegades Texas Renegades - Basil Sivart 319 toe
A sturdy string d whi is very reliable in his own end. Makes a decent first pass and wint let you down late in a game. As steady as they come solid pick.

14 . Specters New Orleans Specters ( Blizzard -> Panthers -> Specters ) - Ole Olson 382 toe
The highest rated tpe player on the board goes 14th. A very balanced d who along with many of his draft class should blossom into a very good blueline that leads his team going foreward. Look for this class to be one of the best ever.

15 . Aurora Winnipeg Aurora - Zayne Rotzbua 364 tpd
Another d jeez so many in this class. There may be a glut in the future. Homie still has points avilable to place into his player but whatever. Also is a double of rotzuba nice. I'm really running out if gas here but another good pick that fell this draft.

16 . Stampede Buffalo Stampede - Billy Brooks332 toe
Another puck moving d and another huge pickup for the stampede. As if it never ends buffalo gets stronger again for the future will the great fakes division dynasty ever end I sure hope so.

17 . Wolfpack New England Wolfpack ( Steelhawks -> Wolfpack ) - Jonny Tsunami 329 toe
The first big string foreward drafted a boi with 14 screening. Players like this dint come around often and he could be a game changer going foreward. Look for tsunami to be a household name baby.

18 . Rage Manhattan Rage (syndicate -> Specters -> Rage) - Tomas Lind 319 toe
Another big time screener damn back to back this is lovely let's go big guys. The rage get basically a phineas gold junior a baby garbage collector. Look for lind to learn from the veteran and be a great locker room guy the rage win on this one.

This first round was another heck of a first round lots of truly promising youth coming to the league right now. In my thoughts I cant help but think how great this class may go down when it's all said and done. It's not each and every year that you get so many impactful players and so many great d that will one day more then likely shift the league structure to more of a defensive game. No matter what your thought on who should of went where every one of these players taken in the first should be at least an 1600 toe player as long as they stay active which no team can really be upset with as most drafts are crap shoots. As we move forward we will see who were the winners here the buf winners that is, tampa walks away from this draft with 2 more first round talents as well as buffalo who always seems to stockpile the draft capital. Baltimore also had 2 firsts this draft at 3 and 4 so beware of the rising platoon as well. Hopefully these teams drafting high begin ti ish more parity in the league we all really want some serious playoff battles and these rebuilding teams are the solution to our parity issue. Well leave you with his last thought can tampa become the new ham? Will Michael fitted finnaly wash his alligator? Can mike izzy win the old timers game MVP? Call god or jesus because I dont fucking know. S58 you were a great one and I'm exausted tossing word vomit too all my fans I love yall praise terry!

PremierBromanov · 02-01-2021, 11:11 PM

the discord screenshot really makes it

zeagle1 · 02-02-2021, 10:12 AM

mew too

W19eaver · 02-02-2021, 11:23 AM

Fhn is best

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