Beep… Beep… Beep…
 
The beeping was omnipresent. Inescapable. I tried to open my eyes- couldn’t. Struggling to draw air into my lungs I attempted a deep breath through my nose. The room smelled sterile and unnatural. Everything seemed wrong, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Come to think of it- I tried to move my fingers and found it was hard to tell if I found success or not. “That’s how you do it right..?” I thought to myself. But my mind felt hazy. My consciousness began to fade once again.
 
Beep… Beep… Beep…
 
“Blood pressure 120 over 80. Subject seems to be out of the woods- stable but we’ve seen no sign of consciousness or higher thinking to this point.” My ears had perked up, and I could feel a presence in the room in that unnatural way you feel like your being watched at night but can’t quite make out where from. I tried my eyes again and regretted it. They opened this time, just a sliver but it was enough for the white lights to crash down on my irises. I tried my nose and the air came in easier. I twitched my finger, and it moved this time. I’m sure of it. At least, I’m pretty sure of it. “Well…” a brief pause as the man seemed to be thinking something through. “It’s now or never. Do it.”
 
I tried to open my mouth, to speak up but found that haze settling over myself once more. I heard dull thuds coming towards me. Footsteps, I realized just before the haze built and I felt my eyes rolling up once more. Unconsciousness was taking me.
 
And then a pinch. My eyes shot open- blinded once more but I found myself unable to shut them. In my chest, my heart thundered as if Thor himself was beating Mjolnir against an anvil. I tried to sit up but found myself restrained. A figure moved into view, fuzzy to my flash blinded eyes. He laid his hands on my shoulders and rose his voice as he addressed me. “Well, your clearly awake… But can you speak?” I opened my mouth to scream- my heart only beating faster and faster. I was sure I was in my death throws but as I tried to shout “HELP ME YOU FOOL” but barely got out the first syllable as I bit my tongue. My jaw didn’t quite move the way I had wanted it to.
 
The doctor’s face lifted into a slight smirk. “Good enough. This one may just work, make the call. YOU! Come here, put this thing back down.”
 
I had thought myself at full panic, convinced my own heart would burst straight through my ribcage. As it turned out, I could reach heights of panic I never thought possible. But with the panic, came a clarity. I saw the doctor briefly- catching his profile just as he turned. Tall, balding with a goatee. He wore glasses and a long white coat as many doctors do. A Women turned on her heel and walked out of the room, pulling something out of the pocket of her own lab coat. Then, a nurse walked up to me. He was young, and looked startled by everything that was occurring. Knowing better than to question the doctor though, he stepped up to my bedside.
 
“Please…”
 
I struggled to get my tongue to move just the right ways, to open my mouth and make the appropriate shape with my lips as I focused everything I could muster into getting that word out. I was sure I had said it right. A thought that seemed to be confirmed by the surprised look on the nurses face. He looked back to the Doctor and for the first time I felt myself calm. Maybe this man could help me! Get me out of whatever nightmare scenario I had found myself in. That was when I saw him move his arms away from me. He had stuck me with the needle again, the adrenalin crashing through my system had kept me from even feeling it. But now, that feeling was fading. Fast. My vision started to go blurry once again and I watched the two retreat from the room and turn to shut the door. I was out before I heard the latch click.
 
 
The buzz in the arena was palpable. Late season hockey I thought to myself… Nothing quite like it. The puck dropped and the crowd erupted. I sat on the bench and watched the captain skate by. I was looking forward to playing my first official game with these guys. I had been on the training squad since… Since… I started to feel a headache building and shook my head out. I had to be ready! This was my first ever game SMJHL game and here I was taking a trip down memory lane. Stupid!
“-ANNY IF YOU DON’T GET YOUR ASS OFF THIS GOD DAMN BENCH I SWEAR I’LL END YOUR CAREER RIGHT FUCKING NOW”
 
Mihailov practically pulled me onto the ice. And so I skated my first shift in the SMJHL. But I couldn’t shake the feeling I was forgetting something awfully important… Oh well. I’m sure it will all come back to me in time.