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Slappydoodle · 04-06-2021, 12:32 AM

1200 words 2x double draft media

My player Otis B. Driftwood is very old. Not as old as I am in real life, but old nevertheless. He’s a season forty draft pick. I haven’t done the research, but I can’t imagine there are any other players left from that draft. I doubt there are too many older players in the league at all, at this point.

Otis has more aches and pains than he used to. The bulge in his underwear these days is more from his nutsack hanging so low than anything more salacious. His hair could be generously described as salt and pepper at best. His bulging muscles are now overshadowed by his bulging gut. Too many years of El Cheapo cigars have left him short of breath and killed his stamina. As many years of martinis have left his liver hanging on by its proverbial fingertips. It’s time to take a look back at that draft and Otis’ career generally.

The first pick in that long ago season forty draft was Conor McGregor, the second player from Winter is Coming. He was drafted by the Buffalo Stampede and had a decent run, never quite reaching the heights they probably expected. He lasted eight seasons in the bigs, the first six and a half with Buffalo before being traded to Minnesota where he played one more season and called it a career.

Some other notable players taken in the S40 draft include the rampaging monster, Ensio Kalju; oft traded journey woman Florence Clijsters; Wolfpack stalwart Manuel Gotze; starship captain Jean Luc Picard; Happy Gilmore nemesis Shooter McGavin; the natural Walter Hobbs and a number of other worthy players. I’d like to make special mention of the thirty first player taken in that draft and second overall tpe gainer, the one and only master of humility himself, God McZerhl.

Otis went second overall, taken by the Calgary Dragons. Calgary GM Esa Anrikkanen traded up to get the second pick with the intent of ensuring he would come out of this draft with Otis on the roster. I have always felt he gave up too much to get me. I'm pretty sure he could have waited and grabbed me later in the first round.

Some backstory here is warranted. Esa and I are good friends in real life. Esa started in the SHL first. He then recruited Bonk into the league. I, being an avid fantasy and sim sports guy for years, quickly joined as well. Esa was at that time, GM of the Detroit Falcons. He chose to not draft my first player, center Slappy McDoodle to Detroit for reasons I will never fully understand. I then made him pay by helping the Kelowna Knights win a Four Star Cup.

When the season twenty three SHL draft rolled around, Esa again spurned me (to be fair he was not yet actually the GM of Calgary, but one assumes he would have had some pull). Calgary took three, I repeat, three separate players before I heard my name called. Slappy McDoodle went on to be drafted by the West Kendall Platoon in the second round. Slappy spent his entire career spanning sixteen seasons with West Kendall including a long run as team captain and locker room leader. We were highly successful during that span and had a fantastic, close knit group. I will never regret my Toonza days. I had a tremendous amount of fun there and felt a true sense of loyalty and camaraderie with that fine bunch of gals and guys. That being said, I never let Esa forget how he had spurned me repeatedly and what a huge mistake that turned out to be both times.

Needless to say, Esa was hell bent on drafting Otis in the season forty draft, if for no other reason than to shut my loud, wise ass mouth about his previously rejecting me. He wound up trading significant assets to move up to number two. Everyone knew Buffalo was going to grab WIC’s guy first overall, but after that things were a lot murkier. He didn’t want to take the chance, small as it was, that someone else would snatch me up before he could. He knew I would never let him live it down if that happened.

Well, he did make the trade and did grab Otis at number two. As soon as that happened, of course, all the pressure flipped from him to me. I now felt it necessary to justify the assets given up by Calgary to get Driftwood in the draft. I was hell bent on becoming the best overall player in that draft. One can argue whether or not I succeeded in doing that, but I definitely was the highest earning player in that draft and have had the longest career.

Otis is currently the thirteenth highest scoring player in Dragons history, while never particularly trying to be a scorer and certainly never focusing on that aspect of his game. He is the franchise leader in blocked shots and second only to Mike Izzy in hits (Izzy, of course, being the all time SHL leader in that category). He is the franchise career leader in plus minus. He has the second most penalty kill minutes in franchise history after only Esa Anrikkanen, who played roughly 875 seasons in the league. He was the captain of the squad for a long time before handing it on when my activity started to wane. I am most proud of having won two Challenge Cups during my time with the Dragons (so far). All this while taking minimum contracts to ensure more money for the rest of the squad. All that being said, it is only fair to point out that many of Driftwood’s records are going to soon be surpassed by Brennan Kennedy Jr, BK’s fine defenseman, especially given the now extended seasons.

I would like to think Driftwood has justified his pick at two and the trade made to get him. He has faded from one of the premier, well rounded defensemen in the league to a veteran depth guy focusing solely on his own end. He is however still hanging on and providing value to the team. I don’t care what line he plays on, how many minutes he plays for or how he is used. I’d just like to be a positive asset for the squad and contribute to winning seasons for as long as he is useful. The day is rapidly approaching where Otis will be in the way of our young, stud, defensive prospects. On that day, I will gladly step aside and retire. Otis will never lace up his skates for any other franchise.

I am and always have been proud to be a Calgary Dragon. I have been proud to play for the greatest general manager in the history of the SHL, Esa. I am proud to help with the transition to the next great Calgary GM in the form of that class act, Mike Izzy. I’ve had too many amazing teammates to name. It’s been a hell of a ride. It’s not over quite yet but the final hill is definitely in sight.

DeletedAtUserRequest · 04-06-2021, 12:47 AM

It’s been awesome sharing a locker room with you for what I believe is 18 seasons! Btw We miss the Big Slappy Hour!..it was Always one of the SHL highlights of my week. Otis going to play for 7 more seasons Towel

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SlashACM · 04-06-2021, 04:29 AM

@Slappydoodle people give you shit but I've always respected you for being an shl staple. Good luck with the rest of driftwood's player and your next player should you choose to go again

Steelhead77 · 04-06-2021, 02:32 PM

Best 2nd overall pick I ever made! Also the only 2nd overall pick I ever made...

Driftwood is a Dragons legend and one of the best ever! You definitely more than delivered for us brother! Long great career 2x champion and purveyor of Salma Hayek boob pics in the locker room.

What more could any team hope for! <3

Dragonite

---> ParmBorg Highlights <---

#1 All-Time SHL Goal & Point Scorer
- First 2,000 TPE Player in SHL History -
- First 400 Goal Scorer in SHL History -
- Only 500 Goal Scorer in SHL History -
- First GM to Win 5 & 6 Challenge Cups -
Esa Anrikkanen Award - SMJHL ROY - Est. S34
Vidrik Onoprienko Award Winner - S45

Dragonite

*Zoone16* · 04-06-2021, 02:37 PM

Great article @Slappydoodle . Always love looking back at past draft classes.

However the Double Draft Media Week is with respect to the current draft class. This is not double media eligible.

**bk1689** · 04-06-2021, 07:19 PM

Great to hear from you outside of discord Slaps. This must mean a BSH is on its way?

Slappydoodle · 04-06-2021, 09:19 PM

04-06-2021, 07:19 PMbk1689 Wrote: Great to hear from you outside of discord Slaps. This must mean a BSH is on its way?

[Image: 8%2Bball%2B-%2Boutlook%2Bnot%2Bso%2Bgood.jpg]

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