Login

Dagumpa · 09-08-2021, 07:19 PM

So here's the thing; if I'm gonna be in a locker room that has all the bells and whistles, I'm gonna get way too distracted. There's something nice about a regular, boring locker room that keeps me sane and allows me to focus on the game. Therefore, I'm going to invest almost all of the money into the opponent's locker room. I mean, I'll still give us one of those nice, circle designs where everyone has their own wooden closet with a ledge to sit on and their own nameplate. But the opposing team is gonna walk into the Ritz-Carlton. There will be a bar, a swimming pool, a bowling alley, arcade machines, live music, you name it. I'll also invest some of that money into chairs that look comfortable but are actually horrible for the back. Basically, come game time, they'll be wiped from all of the pampering and fun they've had in their LR. Maybe then Winnipeg will be able to win a game...

Keenan · 09-08-2021, 08:12 PM

PROMPT 1

Who could have seen this plumbing disaster coming? Oh yeah, that's right, me. So when I was called into the owner's office I knew exactly what was up. As the only person not currently shitting themselves (and with a fresh grape jelly bean breath to boot) I was given the task of redesigning the locker rooms. Now I won't lie to you, my initial thoughts went straight to evil. Why, I'll just make our locker rooms amazing and the opponent's locker room awful. I was patting myself on the back when my weenie conscious butted in. So fighting the urge to completely screw over the visitors I got to work, and brother the result was incredibly whelming. Our locker room looked like it was ripped straight from the dictionary definition. It had benches and lockers, and that's about it, frankly. It's a locker room, not a party room. The opponent's was the same, but in theirs I used that fluorescent lighting so there was always a low frequency hum when they were using it. I figured I'm still allowed a slight bit of psychological warfare, right? Anyway I told the owner that all the renovations cost $400M, which is exactly what he budgeted out! So I spent as little as possible to make them usable and pocketed the rest. You think I'm happy solely with the money I stole from Luke? Not a chance, you just bred a klepto, Slash. Congrats.

.Laser · 09-08-2021, 08:59 PM

PBE CW - Laser

Thanks to EAB and sulovien for the sigs!

***hhh81*** · 09-08-2021, 10:19 PM

I remember when I was a young man, starting my career with the Buffalo Stampede. I was quiet, kept to myself and worked hard to be the best I could on the ice and lead through my actions. When I joined the Seattle Argonauts, I knew that role had to change a bit. I was now the face and had to be the voice of the team. I took on that role, and think I've done well in it for the young Argonauts. We've had our ups and downs, but the locker room has been a fun place and kept me energized. These younger kids--RESO, Vaseline Podcalzone, Thor Odinson--have some spark that keeps things light even when tense moments happen (like the exits from last season). Now we have this weird frog kid Kermit Murphy. He's always bouncing around the ice, tripping over his feet and laughing in the locker room. I'm not sure what to make of him. After hosting RESO last season while he got the feel for the speed and routine of the SHL, I thought I had a good idea about the young guys... but this Kermit kid is something else.

Beyond that, I really enjoy the leadership group we've developed. It's been fun to see former rivals Dee Centerman IV and Jean-Uhtred Ragnarson-Tremblay (JURT) grow into friends after their juniors days, and Reid Sutherland has really rounded into a top two-way forward in this league. If he doesn't pull in a few award noms in the next few seasons, I'd be shocked.

All in all, I really enjoy the Seattle locker room. It's been a really good fit for me over the last few years. Got some really great guys in the room.

*Jayba1t* · 09-08-2021, 10:38 PM

Out of the mighty 3 locker rooms I currently am in, I think Colorado's is truly something special. (Still love ya Seattle and San Francisco!) There are a bunch of great, active, engaging and funny users, players, alumni, former people involved in Colorado and some who aren't even sure why they are in there. Starting of we have our lovely GMs Jumbobone and Ruggsy who only do what is best for the team and always put out competitive Colorado games, and are wonderful people. Hilarious too, I might add, especially in one person's case, not naming names but (*ahem* @Ruggsy), have an, shall I say affinity for uh, making jokes of a certain DN kind. Then, there are the active roster players, like Zerg, Graydon, Drokeep, Vikian, academy, nour and tweedle who are will come around and hang out. Some get even more active than that, watching every sim and have nice chats. The rookies have been a force, especially Vaxlare, Zinator and Gordon who all have made contributions as the young guns. After, the Raptors alumni, fossils of the past. JT3, WBF, fluw and others like JURT, Birdman and triple h eighty one, all have been knowledgeable people who know their SHL. Finally, mighty leader @micool132. Micool is here to do one thing, and one thing only, and that is to win the cup. He has inspired and motivated us all to be the best we can be, and nothing stops the power of positivity. Overall, everyone meshes super well and it is a positive, caring, fun and chill environment to be in, and as @lespoils would say, we vibe together. Can't forget about #Jean-Uhthread either.

5ympathies · 09-09-2021, 01:35 AM

My current teams LR is probably second or third in terms of how much I like it compared to other teams LRs that I am in. However, for the past 10 days I have been pretty much MIA (missing in action as the kids say) and pretty much exclusively posting in #drunktank, which is aptly named, as that is where the drunk ppl talk and the others listen. And last week I was drunk every night for 8 or 9 days in a row. So now in order to redeem myself, I have retired from #drunktank and will let the others speak instead, and instead I will be sober. Today I was sober, but the people I was with last week, already asked me to go out for dinner with them tonight and likely drink, but I had to decline, and let them know that we can hang out on the weekend. Perhaps if I drink on the weekend, I will have to end my retirement early and bless the Atlanta Inferno with my thoughts in #drunktank once again.

Thanks to JSS for the signature

Locagiess · 09-09-2021, 02:25 AM

Unfortunate that the plumbing had to go out. However this thankfully is a blessing in disguise, as our owner has given us virtually anything we could ever want in the planning phase! For the home team, we can't have anything but the best, sticking with a circular room with the team's logo on it and more than enough room for the entire team and then some to have their own locker with storage space. Padded chairs to sit in whenever you want, personal masseuse for anyone that wants one on call. The center circle can actually raise up and be a small stage for whenever coach or a player wants to really get up on that soap box and preach guts and glory to the locker room. For the opponents, however, we'll have to take out their bathroom entirely to make space for all the home team amenities. Their lockers will all double as a personal toilet, its even got a nice little bidet in them, but there's a 10% chance that it shoots flames instead of water. Should really get some of them to perk up and be alert for the games.

Nictox · 09-09-2021, 07:31 AM

Prompt 1:

We all knew what would happen if we took the "Get Faster Now" pill. We all knew the consequences ahead of time, yet we still did it. We still put the pill to our lips and drank the water. We all laced our skates and went onto the ice to see if it worked. We all had 22 in speed and acceleration. What we didn't account for was how much time it really takes to get back to the locker room to use the bathroom. What we really signed up for, in taking the red pill, was a locker renovation on a massive scale. All new stalls had to be installed. Even the showers had to be re-done due to the drains backing up. Anything that used water had to be replaced. New piping was laid out, the pipes used this time were much, much bigger. Now you might be asking, what about the opponents locker room? Did you have to fix that too? Why yes we did. You see, here in New Orleans we believe a healthy environment is a good thing. We recycled everything from our locker room and used it all in the opponents locker room. That way, we were not just throwing out everything we just removed, we are re-using it. Recycling is the future and I believe the Specters are leading the way.

RIP Dangel #AD26 | RIP TDZ

C9Van · 09-09-2021, 08:46 AM

I will be doing the first prompt and basically basing my locker room off the facilities they have at Manchester City. Which right now is the best facility in sports due to them spend way more money on this sort of stuff to make sure it is the best. What type of stuff does it have? Literally everything possible, hot tubs, insane showers, wide area for players to put everything they need in it and massage beds, training or warm up area, Literally think of a team that has something in real life and Man City have it there so now my team has it!

I for 1 would also copy the away team locker room like they have. It is very basic but better than all of the other away team locker rooms in sports. They have access to a smaller warm up and training place and they have decent showers and the locker room feels a bit more cramped but this is miles better than everyone else's locker room and is mainly just to flex on the shitter teams.

[182 words]

Raven · 09-09-2021, 09:31 AM

Code:
Written Task: Describe how you design your LR and what amenities you include for you and your teammates. Quality of life improvements, crazy bougie shit, or just a normal looking LR, the choice is yours. Definitely need new bathrooms though. You also get to design the opponent LR, do you make it nice, bland, or include death traps to try and throw them off their game? Your budget is... let's say $400 million. I like that number. (150+ words)

Oke, so the locker room is getting a total make over. First let's get the basics out of the way. Bathroom, check. We are getting those fancy japanese toilets, that can heat up the seat for you and has a little bidet in it to clean up ya bum hole. Next, of course we have to have seats and the equipment area. Players gotta be able to change and store their equipment somewhere. Now I do not want to get to crazy here, but a skyroom in the locker room would be cool. But not to see the sky, oh no. But to see a big ass aquarium. Filled with amazing fishies and all the sorts. You have to have something nice to look at and relax during all the madness that is happening in the game. Finally we will have a little coffee corner, with the latest in coffee technology. I am talking those fancy espresso press machines with the fanciest coffee beans. Just the most luxerious stuff for our players. You know hot it goes in the morning, you are still a bit tired, you have that morning skate, you have to hurry to practise and then when you arrive the caretaker is there with a big ol cup of joe just to wake you up. This is the locker room I would build for the North Stars.

[230 words]

Thank you Fever, sköldpaddor and OD for the amazing sigs!

Montreal Impact/Militia Militia-Old

|Player Page| Stars

|Update Page| Japan

Kraagenskul · 09-09-2021, 09:36 AM

Prompt 2

The Baltimore Locker Room is a great place! Some good people and never really any drama. Sure, people give each other shit occasionally, but to me it is always in good fun. Good range of discussion as well; besides both SHL and NHL talk we talk music, games, and books among other fun topics. Politics comes up occasionally but everyone recognizes it can be a volatile subject and talk is either light or the subject gets changed.

Pets are always popular conversation starters as well. Plenty of cats and dogs and everybody has pictures galore of their four legged friends. Food is always another great subject, with some of the players having more pictures of their dinners than any kids they might have. Although we do see rare pictures of the wee ones as well.

And there is shit posting, because of course there is. If you don't have shit posting do you even qualify as a locker room?

Rabidsponge21 · 09-09-2021, 09:38 AM

PBE CW

3lewsers · 09-09-2021, 10:25 AM

Prompt 1: The new locker rooms will be triple in size to accommodate many new amenities. They will feature a toilet in every players locker, fully equipped with toilet paper, Lysol spray, reading material, soaps, and a sink. In addition, players equipment will be overhead via a robotic pulley system. The player will press a button and the machine will retrieve all of the players equipment essentials and deliver them to a designated dropoff area withing their lockers. All lockers will be the same size except for the Captains. His/her locker will be outfitted with additional amenities, such as a zero gravity massage chair, essential oils, and a zen waterfall. The captain is also provided with 24/7 concierge service, for therapy, massages, and homeopathic items. So, these new changes, will energize the roster and impress future free agents to make this a popular signing destination. This is how you create a buzz and open the door for new talent.

Lorec · 09-09-2021, 10:43 AM

The new Vancouver locker room has been designed with players in mind to showcase many features and accessories that most would find a bit.. Extra. First and foremost, a brand new custom metal crafted WHALE NAYSH sign vancouver colors is displayed right on the entrance to the room and all players are required to give the shaka sign as they enter. The next extra feature is specially designed trash system that only opens when the magic words are uttered. The Whaler's collectively agreed that in order to open the trash they must say "Boats Bad". Its become one of the players favorite parts of the new locker room. Lastly there is a new LED display called the "Whale Haul" that lights up with players names after each match giving credit to the outstanding players of that game. Its encouraged some of the players to really step up their game and give bragging rights in the locker room after each match. (160 Words)

Julio Tokolosh · 09-09-2021, 11:46 AM

I am doing the first prompt.

Edmonton's franchise easily raised the capital to build a new locker room, but because it's Edmonton, there was huge pushback about respecting tradition and keeping the old locker room intact and having the new players work and live in the same area as the greats like teddy cuddles, cory knouse, brady macintyre, and the tuck brothers. The new locker room would need to fit in an area so that the fans could now walk through where the historic blizzard (and comets) changed their jockstraps. The room is right next to the sewer outlets of the stadium in order to better deal with the wild bowels of the players that took the brown pills. It will be a little loud during the intermissions when hundreds of attending Albertans are constantly flushing, but that will just help keep the roster on alert, and not get lulled by the silence of a soundproof room. Captain JPB brought a tiny iHome to plug his iPod Nano into to play the hottest tracks of 2006 and Olivia Rodrigo.

Other design: it will be all dark wood and doilies. it will look like a hunting lodge decorated by your grandmother. a wood-burning fireplace and taxidermied critters and throw blankets. the logo on the floor is a local artists' version of a woodcut logo, but it has a typo to add to the homely feel.

---
my Grammarly says that the above paragraphs have a "formal" feel to them.

Navigation

Extra Menu

About us