Player Name:
Kelly Rivet, baby!

Position and Player Type:
I'm a defense dude who plays two-way hockey, baby!

What is your activity like and are there any personal reasons it might fluctuate?
I'm pretty active, methinks. I check the site on the daily. Personal reasons it might fluctuate being: work being wacky, school junk getting to be too much. But I don't anticipate that happening.

Why Should I Draft You?
Because I can pitch in in any way needed! Call me a jerk of all trades, daddio!

Why Should I Not Draft You?
Because any jokes I make will be undoubtedly inappropriate and would bring shame to you and your households. Hopefully not, though.

Everyone has their preconceived notions about teams. You might lie and say you don't but you do and that is fine. What are some good things you have heard or seen involving Hamilton? What are some bad things?
I have heard literally nothing about Hamilton Steelhawks. Probably because I've stayed out of the SHL discussions. Mostly out of fear. Hell, can you imagine one of us goddamn FRESHMAN hanging out in your lockerroom?

It is the end of your players career, what do you want people to say about it?
"Kelly Rivet? He played hockey. I heard he blocked a lot of shots with his nuts."

Hopefully that way people won't expect me to have kids... HALVING kids on the other hand...