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GrilledTwinkiez · 08-19-2018, 11:26 AM

My superpower is that I get the abilities to be Connor Mcdavid. Let me honest there’s not greater power it’s super speed, mind reading abilities, and x-ray vision all in one. Plus you get a lot of money to play hockey and be in shitty Rogers commercials and awful go auto billboards. It literally doesn’t get any better... or does it. The ladies flock to you from all your cash flow and hockey abilities.

I would use this superpower to bring all the cups back to Edmonton year after year after year. We would be like the Knights if the SHL. Who wouldn’t be down to see a dynasty like that? NOBODY! Therefor connor Mcdavid superpower is the best you will ever get because it brings many many advantages to your hockey career and to your life. And for that, I will win forever and ever.

*151 words*

Mackkz · 08-19-2018, 11:51 AM

When it comes to the superhero version of Chris Partridge, it's all about the mind games. While it would be great to incorporate something like the spidey sense or just an insane level of agility and other physical gifts, I think it would be really interesting to be a goalie with the ability to selectively read minds at a moments notice. The ability to look deep into a players mind on a penalty shot and know exactly what they're going to do, and to then position yourself in such a way that you block off exactly what they want to do without wavering or freezing in any way, would be an incredible mind game and would add an extremely interesting layer to the already existing mind games that go on in a game between shooters and goalies. And beyond strictly on-ice performance, I believe this ability would also give me a phenomenal leg up in any contract negotiations with Grapehead, knowing exactly what I can or cannot leverage out of a contract and preventing any potential situation where I do not receive exactly what I'm worth.

*190 Words*

Rabidsponge21 · 08-19-2018, 11:51 AM

Super Healing

Now I know many people might be like, Hey, why have healing when you could have speed, foresight etc etc. Well the answer is simple longevity.

With Super Healing your cells would always be in a state of repair once you start to decline in your physical growth. So where some players might be arguably better than LKS, they still run the risk of being hurt. Torn ligaments? Ready to go by morning. Groin injury? Doing sprints by nightfall. Toss in the fact, he could hit his physical prime at say 25 and play at that level until he is 45. Regardless of him being only a top 25 player and not an elite talent, he would make it up in the long run by playing so long, and so consistently that he would just break all the records eventually even if he didn't have a staggering stat line from season to season. It's win win.

Raven · 08-19-2018, 01:04 PM

Quote:Scenario: With all the fame, money, and power that accompanies being a pro athlete, it can be easy to feel a bit like a superhero sometimes as a professional hockey player. What if you took it one step further, though? What would it be like to be a real-life superhero?

Written task: If your player was a superhero, what powers would they have / want to have, and why? What would they do with these powers? Talk about what the superhero version of your player would be like. Must be at least 150 words.

Rafe Ulrich has always had a clear idea of what kind of superpowers he would have if he were a superhero. It would be the power of mind terrorizing. Kind of like a mind control, but in this case the power would let you make the person of your choosing see only horrors. His thoughts would be clouded with demonic whispers and visions. A state that would put the victem in state of absolute terror, unable to controll their selfs. Making them easy opponents to capture as they would lose sence of the world outside their minds.

It would not be the prettiest of superpowers, but it would be damn effective in stopping the villians from their evil deeds. For Rafe's superhero outfit you would need to imagine something like Raven's from Teen Titans. A purple hood to be very edgy and a black skintight body suit. Exactly like Raven's. Rafe is not afraid to show a little leg, he never skips leg day and he wants to show off them badbois.

Thank you Fever, sköldpaddor and OD for the amazing sigs!

Montreal Impact/Militia Militia-Old

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Beaver · 08-19-2018, 02:15 PM

As someone with tons of friends and a very active social life I have of course spent lots of time thinking about and internally debating what it would be like to be a superhero. As such I've written a significant portion of a treatise on the subject in my head that I will one day eventually put on paper and make like a bajillion dollars. This treatise will revolve around 3 core holdings about superherodom, 3 holdings which Jack Tanner will adhere to:
1. The main object of a superhero is to remain anonymous
2. Super powers for personal enrichment trump super powers for world (or universal) domination/protection
3. A superhero must have an escape plan at all times

Therefore Jack Tanner as a superhero would either have the power to go invisible or the power to fly. Ideally both but usually it's a "pick one and done" sort of deal. Invisibility would be preferred but the central question there is "what type of invisibility?" - if it's like Invisible Man style where it's literally just your skin that goes invisible that shit sucks and you'd be stuck stuffing money and gems into your fat rolls and mouth in order to remain incognito. This also makes you much easier to catch if you're sloppy and arouse suspicion. A well placed sack of flour completely ruins your power. Flying is preferred if that's the case. But if you could stroll into a bank or mint or whatever fully clothed with everything on your person, including your duffel bags, invisible and then stuff said bags chock full of money and waltz out with the money now invisible as well that's the dream.

As you can probably tell, Jack Tanner as a super "hero" would really be Jack Tanner the super lazy bum as he steals enough money to live a leisurely life without work but not enough to arouse suspicion. He'd donate some of this money to good causes in order for the "hero" label to technically fit. He wouldn't risk fighting crime or anything like that because that could put the bane of super heroes' existence (secret government agencies) on his trail, instead he'd live a nice, happy, and comfortable life.

Jearim · 08-19-2018, 05:26 PM

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GoonerBear · 08-19-2018, 06:02 PM

By day, Reginald MacIntyre is a first-line defenseman for the Manhattan Rage. By night...he is still that same defender for the Rage because night games exist. But when trouble strikes in New York City (which is often because HOLY CRAP is New York City the epicenter of a lot of crap), and all the featured heroes are busy, you can count on...THE HIGHLANDER!

The Highlander is...well, one of a cavalcade of caped and costumed crusaders who set up shop in the United States' most populous city. Nevertheless, with powers of shock absorption, accelerated regenerative healing and super strength, an attacker will not succeed when they set their hand to harm the city's fair citizens. With skin hardened from many pucks taken over even these short three seasons, the Highlander can withstand whatever blow, stab or slice an enemy would inflict. And with power to spare to return fire, foes better flee fast!

Though some can fly, some can do leaps and bounds over the Empire State Building or run the entire Metro subway tunnel system in mere moments, the most effective hero is one who can save those in need, and in many cases, the simplest encounter is the one that makes the difference. The Highlander can even flex into disaster rescue, rushing into burning buildings or traffic crashes to lend a hand to the imperiled. When the Avengers are too busy to deal with your petty crime, count on The Highlander to come to your aid, for there will only be one!

(Seriously, though, he may be the only one. Everyone else is too stuck-up to pay attention to any threat smaller than Thanos these days.)

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Tlk742 · 08-19-2018, 10:49 PM

In my last point task, I likened my player to that of skinny Steve Rodgers, so what would Soren Kierkegaard do, were he to be imbued with super powers and/or really cool high tech gadgets that allowed him to fight crime in the streets of Canada (I play in both Edmonton and Vancouver – so Canada) well, I would join none other than the great and amazing Alpha Flight. What is Alpha Flight you might ask? Great question. If you look at the Marvel Cinematic Universe, every single human Avenger, with the exception of Black Widow who now works for SHIELD which is American, is American. Marvel noticed that too, and rather than make them unique to America, Alpha Flight is your Canadian Avengers. It’s got it’s own set of misfits and heroes, but among the most notable is an upstart mutant who wore yellow and blue and had claws. I am of course, referring to Wolverine. That’s right. I am the next Wolverine.

Waters · 08-19-2018, 11:51 PM

Written task: If your player was a superhero, what powers would they have / want to have, and why? What would they do with these powers? Talk about what the superhero version of your player would be like. Must be at least 150 words.

Vijanupatan Singh is not a player of large renown in comparison to other players in the Simulation Hockey League. In fact, if it wasn't for the great marketing ability of his agent, he may not have any actual stock. His numbers are average, his ability is average, his height is average and his weight is average. So, how would you adapt this kind of player into a superhero? Singh excels in a few specific areas, namely face-offs. His ability to stay calm when the team needs a big win is hard to match. This is why Singh's main power would be slow-motion. When Singh is lining up for a face-off, everything seems to be in slow-motion for him, which allows him to analyze and size up the opponent. Another power he might have is invisibility. Singh plays a hard to notice game on the ice, and is often invisible until he gets the puck in the back of the net, or he puts it on a linemate's stick. His concentration and ability to sneak around would make both these powers perfectly suited to his style.

***Tomen*** · 08-20-2018, 06:27 AM

Eduard's superpower would involve something along the lines of being able to manipulate someone else's braincells. You could just absolutely destroy the links between the braincells or just slightly alter them so they would have a different memory compared to what actually happened. It would also be beneficial on the ice too. Just shoot a really bad or low percentage shot on at the goalie which should normally be an easy save but instantly cut the connection to his optic nerve for half a second so that he doesn't even see the shot being shot at him. Restore his eyesight at the moment the puck is already in the net and there you have it you are basically an unstoppable goal scorer. Obviously you can't use the power every time you have to be careful with it so that there is no one suspecting you and no investigation on plays always seemingly involve Eduard Selich. That's why from time to time you have to do it with your teammates shot too.

Thank you all for the amazing sigs & player cards
Germany

3. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 5 (Maximilian Wachter, Alexis Metzler) at 16:25
5. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 6 (Steven Stamkos Jr., Brynjar Tusk) at 19:48
8. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 7 (Brynjar Tusk, Alexis Metzler) at 13:55
9. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 8 (Anton Fedorov, Mikelis Grundmanis) at 15:12
10. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 9 (Dickie Pecker) at 19:43 (Empty Net)

Deng · 08-20-2018, 11:20 AM

if Boris had superpower it would be ice hockey version of N’Golo Kanté, be able to be everywhere in the ice, have spectacular fitness, and just be absolute beast. No-one would ever score against when Boris is on ice. Boris could play full 60 minutes without coming to bench. That would be too unfair against the opponents, because we would win every game. But I think that is the point, every team want this kind of superstar to their team, right? This is what Boris is aiming for, becoming greatest two-way player of all-time. He have been working hard last 2 seasons in Kelowna and as they say "hard work pays off" maybe some day this will happen.

Outside of the field super powers would just be awesome person. Be nice and kind to everybody and be everyone's friend. This is super powers that Boris dreams.

Kmarko · 08-20-2018, 12:25 PM

Due to Crawflings rigorous yoga routine, he has developed super stetchability. Like elasta-girl from the incredibles, except with a beer belly. Crawfling worked hard to obtain this power so he could make spectacular saves on shots that were going to miss the net, padding his save total. He also likes to keep the game moving, so he's able to stretch and snag any puck that was going out of play before passing it off to his defenders. "Some of us have places to be, so I do my best to minimize play stoppages. I'd much rather be at home cracking a cold one open with the boys than getting shelled on the ice, so I try to keep the game moving. Crawfling has recently encountered criticism regarding the use of his powers. The general populace believes super powers should be used for good, but Crawfling has been caught on video tapping peoples shoulders across the street, then quickly retracting his arm, as well as reaching behind the dunkin donuts counter to make his own bagel when the employees are being too slow.

kckolbe · 08-20-2018, 01:15 PM

Kevin Hamilton, were he a superhero, would be some lame ass costumed man like Baby Stepper. Baby Stepper, known by his friends (or, in his case, the people closest to actually being friends) as BS, would awkwardly shuffle toward the vilest of criminals, undaunted by even the most intimidating. Partly due to bravery, but more likely due to never actually catching up to them. “Baby Stepper, that criminal just stole my purse!” a citizen will say, purse still clearly on her shoulder, but super intelligence is not part of his power suite. So Baby Stepper will begin ambling toward his goal, never actually catching it, but telling himself he’s getting closer. At times, he actually appears to make progress, but as soon as he gets ready to break into the next level, his superhero team will put him on a new assignment, setting him back, perpetually leaving him right where he started.

Dude · 08-20-2018, 03:29 PM

Thè Dude's superhero name would be The Incredible Clout and his super power would be Super Ego. Hearing a desperate plea for help from across the city with his super hearing, The Incredible Clout runs two blocks down the road with his super speed just in time to see a woman getting mugged by a masked bandit. Using his super deduction powers, he notices the man is getting away. His super speed should get him to the bandit in time, but OH NO! His only weakness, his super libido freezes him in his tracks! "Heeeeeeey sexy mama, don't you cry, The Incredible Clout is here to stop that pout!" The woman slaps him and chases after the bandit herself, still crying. Our hero watches as she runs away and thinks to himself "Must be one of those lgbtq+ non binary girls to not want all of this man meat."

Code:
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Clint Eastwood, Jun 10 2018, 09:36 AM Wrote:Can't buy love, but love can buy a lot.

Slowpoke · 08-20-2018, 04:50 PM

When you think of Horvat people don’t list finesse, skill, patience, or subtlety as some of his traits. Normally its strength, aggression, and physicality. I think those would be the traits that would define him as a super hero. Some super strength mixed with a general lack of an IQ. No stealth powers, just the ability to give and take a punch. I dare to break the 4th wall, but think of the Hulk, but with less IQ and you would have Horvat as a super hero, pretty straight forward. Another trait would be a unflinching dedication to his teammates. Willing to do anything or go anywhere to make sure his team is safe and successful. Horvat would be the Lennie Small of superheroes. The strongest one around, sticking up for my friends and team, but ultimately being shot in the back of my head because I can’t control myself.

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