Update Thread 

First SHL goal on first SHL shot in first SHL game.

                  Mack Daddy - Calgary Dragons - Forward
Signed DFA contract with Colorado Raptors to finish S53
Drafted by the Colorado Raptors in S54 Draft - Round 3, 24
Drafted by the Calgary Dragons in S55 Draft - Round 2, 30
S55 WJC Gold Medal Championship
S56 SMJHL All-Star Game Winner
Called up to the Calgary Dragons to start S57
Scored 1st SHL Goal On First SHL Shot in First SHL Game

NSFL PT

Let's start by saying that I'm TOTALLY not a serial killer.

Hi ladies, starting my hockey career in your fine city and looking for someone lovely to enjoy my company away from the ice. Of course, you're welcome to come cheer me on as I play too, these championships don't win themselves and as much as I like my teammates, I think I'd likely enjoy hearing you cheer me on more.

In my free time I enjoy watching TV and movies, reading, working out, and cooking. Generally one of those homebody types. I also make a mean omelette so if you plan on spending the night, I'll feed you right in the morning!

New to the Montreal area. Big heart looking for some loving. I like turtles. I just got into the SMJHL and I'm hoping got a big contract that I can use to take you out to all sorts of cool places. Use me for my money, and I'll be your stepping stone to some SHL players down the road.

You want me to swipe right on you? Two eyes. Half a brain. I expect you to know hockey, and if you don't want to help me get to the SHL so you can take marry me and take half my money then this isn't going to work.

Three words: German hockey player. All the seriousness of German people mixed with the seriousness of hockey players = very serious dates. Dress in full 1800's outfits please. If I see a single ankle I will be calling your parents. Also I always wear those German suspenders and that German hat. You know, from the movies? And I'm trying to grow a handlebar mustache, but its not going the best so avoid looking at my face since I'm pretty self-conscious about it. You know, its best if you were sunglasses so I can't see your eyes. Anyway, HMU - down for a good time, not a long time.

iOS version of Tinder

Hey there ladies. Not here for a long time just looking for a good time. You heard that song? I like to make hip pop culture references until I can gage your interests to make you feel like we have a connection. Represent the 810 but moving to Halifax with my new team. Looking for somebody who can show me around town and find some special spots! Must be willing to travel with me to all my games and give massages. Be down to earth but not the weird down to earth type. A girl you can go out to the pond and play some puck then come home and watch a movie.

Thanks for reading and if your interested swipe right and let's get this party started! See you on the pond!

Hey, Its me, Jacob Dorito. Do you like Doritos? Im sure you do. If you don't then you are not the girl that I want. I like long walks on the beach and to do some of them video games. Maybe I like to put mayo on my doritos if you know what I mean? I am not a sexual preditor I swear! Im really nice please don't leave me. I am nice and juicy but not moist! Oh no why does everything I say sound like a sex joke. Oh god, what have I done with my life?

101 words

Mikael Choybuk, 18
SMJHL Player

I am a pure sniper. You might have looked online to my junior hockey highlights, but not only do I have precision there, I also have it in other areas. I can always get it in the hole, no matter how big or small, or how far away. Show me a hole, and I will find a way to penetrate it. If you are a girl who is into precision and power with a stick, then I am your guy. I will swipe right on all the puck bunnies. If you love Choybuk, Choybuk will love you.

//





Michael "Big Game" Boychuk || D || Calgary Dragons
Name: Michael Boychuk
Age: Old
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 195 lbs
Number: 23
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SHL Career Statistics || Calgary Dragons
S24 REG: GP: 52, G: 1, A: 13, P: 14, +/-: -5, PIMS: 42, H: 53, SB: 36
S25 REG: GP: 50, G: 3, A: 13, P: 16, +/-: 5, PIMS: 42, H: 49, SB: 30
S26 REG: GP: 50, G: 1, A: 22, P: 23, +/-: 8, PIMS: 58, H: 69, SB: 37
S27 REG: GP: 50, G: 4, A: 24, P: 28, +/-: 8, PIMS: 46, H: 54, SB: 31
S28 REG: GP: 50, G: 6, A: 26, P: 32, +/-: -5, PIMS: 10, H: 25, SB: 55
S29 REG: GP: 50, G: 7, A: 28, P: 35, +/-: 10, PIMS: 6, H: 29, SB: 46
S30 REG: GP: 50, G: 6, A: 35, P: 41, +/-: 27, PIMS: 0, H: 26, SB: 54
S31 REG: GP: 50, G: 8, A: 38, P: 46, +/-: 19, PIMS: 6, H: 30, SB: 71
S32 REG: GP: 50, G: 7, A: 24, P: 31, +/-: -1, PIMS: 28, H: 27, SB: 66
S33 REG: GP: 50, G: 9, A: 34, P: 43, +/-: 8, PIMS: 34, H: 78, SB: 69
S34 REG: GP: 50: G: 3, A: 31, P: 34, +/-: -2, PIMS: 50, H: 100, SB: 67
S35 REG: GP: 50, G: 2, A: 36, P: 38, +/-: 24, PIMS: 36, H: 90, SB: 76
S36 REG: GP: 50, G: 8, A: 32, P: 40, +/-: 14, PIMS: 46, H: 68. SB: 56
S37 REG: GP: 50: G: 5, A: 22, P: 27, +/-: 8, PIMS: 56, H: 139, SB: 84
S38 REG: GP: 50, G: 7, A: 20, P: 27, +/-: 7, PIMS: 52, H: 103, SB: 58
S39 REG: GP: 50, G: 4, A: 28, P: 32, +/-: 21, PIMS: 22, H: 38, SB: 66
S40 REG: GP: 50, G: 4, A: 20, P: 24, +/-: 6, PIMS: 10, H: 32, SB: 55
S41 REG: GP: 50, G: 0, A: 13, P: 13, +/-: -3, PIMS: 6, H: 9, SB: 51
S42 REG: GP: 50, G: 1, A: 13, P: 14, +/-: -2, PIMS: 2, H: 6, SB: 26
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SHL Playoff Statistics || Calgary Dragons
S24 PLF: GP: 4, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: -1, PIMS: 2, H: 3, SB: 4
S25 PLF: GP: 5, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: -5, PIMS: 2, H: 5, SB: 7
S26 PLF: GP: 7, G: 0, A: 2, P: 2, +/-: +2, PIMS: 2, H: 10, SB: 3
S27 PLF: GP: 18, G: 5, A: 5, P: 10, +/-: -1, PIMS: 12, H: 15, SB: 10
S28 PLF: GP: 5, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: 1, PIMS: 2, H: 0, SB: 4
S29 PLF: GP: 19, G: 0, A: 11, P: 11, +/-: +3, PIMS: 0. H: 4, SB: 21
S30 PLF: GP: 11, G: 2, A: 4, P: 6, +/-: -4, PIMS: 0, H: 6, SB: 23
S31 PLF: GP: 6, G: 1, A: 5, P: 6, +/-: 0, PIMS: 0, H: 3, SB: 1
S32 PLF: GP: 16, G: 3, A: 9, P: 12, +/-: 8, PIMS: 4, H: 14, SB: 16
S33 PLF: GP: 16, G: 4, A: 12, P: 16, +/-: 1, PIMS: 6, H: 32, SB: 28
S35 PLF: GP: 13, G: 2, A: 6, P: 8, +/-: 5, PIMS: 10, H: 14, SB: 13
S36 PLF: GP: 11, G: 3, A: 2, P: 5, +/-: -10, PIMS: 4, H: 23, SB: 26
S37 PLF: GP: 7, G: 3, A: 4, P: 7, +/-: -1, PIMS: 8, H: 19, SB: 14
S38 PLF: GP: 17, G: 3, A: 17, P: 20, +/-: 12, PIMS: 14, H: 19, SB: 31
S39 PLF: GP: 4, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: -2, PIMS: 0, H: 6, SB: 7
S40 PLF: GP: 19: G: 0, A: 4, P: 4, +/-: 6, PIMS: 2, H: 11, SB: 28
S41 PLF: GP: 6: G: 0, A: 4, P: 4, +/-: 1, PIMS: 0, H: 0, SB: 8
S42 PLF: GP: 16: G: 0, A: 5, P: 5, +/-: 3, PIMS: 2, H: 2, SB: 11
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SMJHL Career Statistics || Regina Force
S22 REG: GP: 40, G: 10, A: 18, P: 28, +/-: -5, PIMS: 41, H: 29, SB: 45
S23 REG: GP: 40, G: 12, A: 26, P: 38, +/-: -3, PIMS: 81, H: 74, SB: 42
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SMJHL Playoff Statistics
S22 PLF: GP: 5, G: 0, A: 3, P: 3, +/-: -2, PIMS: 7, H: 7, SB: 10
S23 PLF: GP: 5, G: 2, A: 3, P: 5, +/-: 1, PIMS: 14, H: 9, SB: 8
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Transactions:
Drafted 14th overall by Regina in the S22 SMJHL Entry Draft
Drafted 5th overall by Calgary in the S23 SHL Entry Draft
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Awards:
S27 Challenge Cup (CGY)
S29 Challenge Cup (CGY)
S32 Challenge Cup (CGY)
S40 Challenge Cup (CGY)
S42 Challenge Cup (CGY)

You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in France? A Royale with Cheese

Do you know why, Motherfucker?

If you know that ref, we will get along. I'm looking for a playmaker cause I love to score. I'm strong, I am great hitting the sweet spot, love to dangle, snipe, celly.

I'm proportionally undersized, have big strong hands, and enjoyed pipe fitting as a trade before I got into hockey.

Looking for someone with strong stick handling skills, who can help me get it in the hole, top shelf and just loves to puck all day long.

If that you, swipe right for a faceoff special

New to Detroit.

I'm basically riding on my dad's coattails, legendary SHL Defenceman Chris Crutchfield by the way. Looking for someone to put up with my shit when I get too banged up and puke on the floor.

Maybe you can come to my games too, but that's asking a lot. So we'll see how much I like you.

I like long walks on the beach (none here), hanging out in the hot summer sun (none here), and crushing the rest of the SMJHL while I show that I'm going to be one of the best SHL Defenders of all time.

CARTER CRUTCHFIELD || RD || ARMADA || 242 TPE
NAME: Carter Crutchfield
BIRTHPLACE: Los Angeles, California
HEIGHT: 6'1"
WEIGHT: 195 lbs
NUMBER: 2
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SMJHL CAREER STATS
S65 ANC : GP: , G: , A: , P: , +/-:  
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SMJHL PLAYOFF STATS
S65 STL: GP: , G: , A: , P: , +/-:  
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SHL CAREER STATS
S6X ???: GP: , G: , A: , P: , +/-:
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SHL PLAYOFF STATS
S6X ???: GP: , G: , A: , P: , +/-:
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TRANSACTIONS
S65 - SMJHL - Drafted Pick 34, Round 3 by the Anchorage Armada
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CONTRACTS
S65 - ANC: $3,000,000
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AWARDS / TROPHY CASE

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Phoenix, 20
Anchorage, AK

Linz, Austria ✈ Kitchener, Ontario ✈ Anchorage, Alaska

Your everyday local emo gender-defying hockey star. Austrian-Canadian. Not in one place for long.

Still a mosh kid at heart. Looking for a guy or girl or neither or both or whatever you are who can deal with me literally jetting off a couple times a week and also blasting music at random hours of the night.

"I don't mind that you lie sometimes because I lie too, guess I'm just like you"

Here are some fun facts about Phoenix:
-once ate a sandwich while continuing to dance at a Romancer concert.
-thats it thats the only interesting thing.
-it was a really good sandwich


MY ANTHEM:
Edward 40Hands
Mom Jeans.