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Alex Mack · 09-21-2018, 08:49 AM

***Ace*** · 09-21-2018, 10:11 AM

After the tremendous commercial success of his last product launch, Tigole Bitties has announced his newest business venture, Bitties Bites. It’s a subscription box that ships hand picked artisan crafted snacks to your home with no two boxes being the same.
“Hi! I’m Tigole Bitties of the Edmonton Blizzard, and I’m here to give you a bigol’ deal!”
“Are you tired of the same, boring redundant snacks?”
*Camera pans to a bowl of Cheez-Its and plays a despressed noise*
“Are you wanting a little variety in your impulse eating?”
*Camera shows a happy old man that’s clearly excited for some snack variety in his life*
“Then sign up for Bitties Bites! We’ve partnered with chefs from around the globe to craft creative snacks to please your palate when hunger strikes. We use all organic and natural ingredients in all of our snacks.”
*Order today! Just $15.99 per week! One box sent bi-weekly.*
Bitties Bites!

enigmatic · 09-21-2018, 10:27 AM

PBE

goilers · 09-21-2018, 10:33 AM

PBE PT

Keygan · 09-21-2018, 11:26 AM

http://probaseballexperience.jcink.net/i...st&p=40740

PBE PT

*NorwegianDemon* · 09-21-2018, 11:48 AM

Hello everyone. You are a lucky bunch today, because you will here exclusively about this amazing new product called Shot Blazzter. Shot Blazzter is the new toy that kids from all age will fight to get. HI, my name is Anders Christiansen and I am a center for the Toronto North Stars in the Simulation Hockey League. I don’t have kids, but I know if I had to go back a couple of years, I would have been ecstatic to have such an entertainment product in my backward. To get your Shot Blazzter ready, you first need to inflate the inflatable mattress that comes in the package. Secondly, you need to build the tower from which you will project yourself on to the mattress. Once you are in the tower, simply press the button that is in the tube and you will fly all the way until you reached the mattress. With the Shot Blazzter, you can reach an altitude up to 10 metres. Get your Shot Blazzter today in the following stores.

173 words

***DrunkenTeddy*** · 09-21-2018, 11:55 AM

Hi everyone, I'm Robert Phelps, center man for the Hamilton Steelhawks. Taking the bus is a drag! I used to be late for practice all the time and chasing after buses with a bag of hockey gear is not a cool look. Luckily, taking public transportation is a thing of the past for me. Thanks to Otto’s Used Cars I was able to buy a car that fit my budget and style and now I arrive on time, every time. For a limited time, Otto’s Used Cars is offering fifty percent off all 2008 to 2013 models for students. And it’s easy! All you have to do is show your student ID card and be handed the keys to your brand new ride. Hurry in today and get your wheels so you can finally say goodbye to the bus for good. Otto’s Used Cars has something for everyone!

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Pingy Pingu · 09-21-2018, 12:35 PM

Hello Friends, It's Pingy Pingu Here to represent my company NootNoot® and to talk about our latest product!

Have you ever been going about your day and then you think to yourself, " I never get enough noot noots, man I wish I had more noot noots right now"? Well then today is your lucky day!

Introducing our newest product, the Noot Noot Button! Whenever you are feeling sad, lonely or just need a good noot then all you gotta do is push the button! Our Noot noot button comes with the latest in Noot® Technology, such as a robust frame which means you can take it to hockey games, drop it off the highest mountain, run it over, stomp on it and it will still work like new. And with unlimited power from our patented Antartic™ Battery, you can have as many noots as you like without having to worry about it running out of power!

Our button also comes with a complimentary igloo and a free autographed Pingy Pingu trading card! And in case you don't like your button, we can give you a full refund. Call today with promo code N00TN00T and recieve a 20 % discount on our button and we'll throw in another 15% off car insurance from geico, courtesy of Gecko Industries®!

You will never have to worry about not getting enough noots with our Noot Noot button! Try it, you won't regret it!

***Tomen*** · 09-21-2018, 12:51 PM

Eduard had quite a lot of weird commercials in his past due to being a SHL player one that sticks out for him personally was one of his first once he was drafted to Prince George 13 seasons ago:

" Hi am Eduard Selich one of the recent draftees of the Prince George Firebirds everybody's favorite team.

We all know how high the crime rate is here in our beautiful city that we call our home. So get yourself one of the newest alarm systems called "Full Security Lockdown" by Frontpoint which includes various features like a full lockdown of every window and door in the house, an App which allows you to view all the currently active security cameras on your property as well as an immediate notification to the nearest Police station if an unauthorized person tries to enter your home.

Only here at Frontpoint we can guarantee you that you will always have a save home and no problems with burglars in our crime ridden city."

Thank you all for the amazing sigs & player cards
Germany

3. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 5 (Maximilian Wachter, Alexis Metzler) at 16:25
5. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 6 (Steven Stamkos Jr., Brynjar Tusk) at 19:48
8. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 7 (Brynjar Tusk, Alexis Metzler) at 13:55
9. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 8 (Anton Fedorov, Mikelis Grundmanis) at 15:12
10. Buffalo Stampede , Eduard Selich 9 (Dickie Pecker) at 19:43 (Empty Net)

Evok · 09-21-2018, 02:47 PM

http://probaseballexperience.jcink.net/i...st&p=40312

JRed94 · 09-21-2018, 02:54 PM

202 words.

Hey all, it's me-- Vancouver Whalers' forward, Jack Kennedy. If there's one thing you need to know about me, it is that I love to score... on AND off the ICE! That's why I am here to recommend Trojan's new line of products-- the Whale collection. Picture this: You're out on the town with your pod, perhaps celebrating the big game, but you get separated from your bulls. In the meantime you make the acquaintance of a pretty young cow--with nice calf-bearing hips. You think to your self, this cow might beluga my blow hole, I'm going to get my Moby Dick wet. Being the responsible orca that you are, you know you need protection from more than just harpoons! So, when you think protection, there's only one option that will let you go the distance while still enjoying that overwhaleming pleasure. For peace of mind when you're going in for the Kill(er Whale), Pick Trojan to keep your main fin safe!

Moosecop · 09-21-2018, 03:01 PM

PBE PT 7-1

Benevolent Thomas · 09-21-2018, 03:19 PM

Come one, come all to the 2018 Halifax Anime Expo at Scotiabank Centre this Sunday, September 23! Come and meet your favorite animators and voice actors as well as visiting the dozens of merchandising booths. The main event will be a panel discussion featuring the creative team behind the Ghost Stories North American Dub as well as local sports idol Thomas Speardane of the Halifax Raiders!

A clearly stoned Thomas Speardane:

"Come join me, Thomas Speardane, for a day of celebration, food, drinks and waifu warfare. As an added bonus, the first two hundred and fifty people that walk through the door will have their waifu decked out in Raiders gear by my good friends and talented artists Vince Reaper and Leshaun King!"

He begins to giggle as the sound bite cuts off.

Doors open at 11am, don't miss out on this year's celebration!

The commercial ends with a shot of Thomas Speardane ripping a clapper to the back of the net surrounded by adoring two-dimensional fans.

iamslm22 · 09-21-2018, 04:04 PM

PBE PT http://probaseballexperience.jcink.net/i...st&p=40783

Beaver · 09-21-2018, 04:10 PM

Doing my weekly duty of undermining the moral fiber of the league

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