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***luke*** · 09-24-2018, 10:39 PM

The Mission: Keep Colorado out.

The day before our first battle with Colorado was along the way. I snuck into their different hotel rooms, and replaced their suit and ties with different mascots from around the league. When they woke up, everyone didnt have clothes or gear to get on any play, so when they got on the ice, everyone pointed and laughed at the hystericalness of the situation. Andrew Kimmy was in a Gritty outfit scared some 8 year olds that someone started throwing batteries at him. Andrew crying to hard he demanded a trade to somewhere else.

Step 2 of my 2 step plan. I get Andrew Martin to Vancouver. I mention to our GM that andrew martin is available to trade, and we all wrapped our brains around trying to get the best trade possible, and we did. So Andrew Martin got traded to Vancouver.

And that is how I met your mother

SlashACM · 09-25-2018, 01:09 AM

The coach said while the defense was doing it's best to get rid of screening players in front, I might have to take matters into my own hands. This was back when Avengers: Infinity War had just come out, I saw it opening night with Adam Taylor and Nicholas Williams. We were playing Vancouver the night after it came out, and they had a game on opening night so I knew they hadn't seen it yet. Vancouver goes on the power play and I see Thomason skate right into my crease and park there. Perfect. I nudge him and whisper, " If you don't fucking leave in 5 seconds I'm gonna spoil Infinty War." I hear him chuckle and he stays there and Vancouver continues passing around the outside. "Okay bitch I warned you" I blurt out. "Thanos fucking-". The rest of my sentence was inaudible as the Vancouver goal horn sounds. Should've paid attention to the puck.

majesiu · 09-25-2018, 05:31 AM

PBE PT Affliation - Wellfare

dizzyDC · 09-25-2018, 09:42 AM

Written Task: Write 150 words or more about your plan. What is it? How will you implement it? Are there any players targeted in this endeavor? What should the desired outcome be?

At this moment the Calgary Dragons are standing in the way of the Seattle Riot making the playoffs, although we are only 1 point out. My plan is to get a Seattle Riot fan hired as the personal chef of leading goal scorer Roman Augustus and give him food poisoning not once, not twice, but as often as possible. If the Dragons aren't scoring goals then they aren't making the playoffs. The first thing I need to do is suggest to Roman that personal chefs are awesome and I will give him the names of a couple guys that I know, but REALLY suggest MY guy. I will pay the chef with all of the Seattle Riot swag he wants and playoff tickets to all of our games once we are in and the Dragons are out. Ultimately, the goal is for us to make it in and win a Challenge Cup and with the Dragons out of the way our road to that goal becomes a whole lot easier.

That being said, I still have a soft spot for the Dragons so if my plan doesn't go as planned, I wish them and Roman all of the best.

trella · 09-25-2018, 10:23 AM

The Seattle Riot, an up and coming team, is one that makes me particularly nervous. If they put a good run together, i think that they could overthrow the Blizzard as a top power in the West. When I saw tjis, I knew I had to do everything I could to prevent it from happening. I needed to mess with their star players so that they could stop their rise in power.

First, I needed to stop their main offensive threat, Louie Garrett. Garrett is a big Sharks fan so I knew just what to do. In his locker, I taped multiple images of the Penguins’ cup win vs the Sharks. This made Louie have a fit of PTSD and he was taken to the hospital with a seizure. Target number one was taken out. @dizzyDC

Next, I had to take out their best defenseman, Clint Eastwood. Clint has some wierd fetishes, one being earwax. I placed a jar of earwax I purchased off of the dark web in his locker. When Clint saw this, he instantly aent into the bathroom and smeared it all over himself. He missed practice that day and was benched by his angered coach @Clint Eastwood

Mavfatha · 09-25-2018, 10:27 AM

After taking us out in the finals last season, NEW has decided that the optimal team to target is the Calgary Dragons, though the aptly named "Slay the Dragons" scheme. After being informed that it would be frowned upon to start hacking at the actual players with swords, we decided on a less direct approach to tamper with the Dragon's star goalie Richard C. Hocolate. The primary phase of the plan involves chipping the ice near his primary crease with the swords such that the cracks in the ice are imperceptible but have a negative affect on his ability to move around and make saves. We will also shave off bits and pieces of his pads such that he does not have his desired surface area for blocking shots; the unexpectedness of this should handicap his abilities significantly. If this plan can even slightly negatively impact Hocolate, with how close the Dragons are to falling out of the playoffs they could easily not qualify at all and the Wolfpack would be able to claim the title.

monkey10pts · 09-25-2018, 10:40 AM

James Dekens, the mole. Now James Dekens is normally a bear in Manhattan but he has since been deployed as a mole into the Texas Renegades locker room. He's pretty well known with that bunch, he was drafted there after all before a blind side trade to move in the draft took Dekens to Manhattan. Now Dekens has no bad blood, but he certainly doesn't want to lose to the Renes bros. Dekens has decided to go right to the source, Mr. Dankoa himself. He plays buddy about wanting to learn how to GM and proceeds to steal the Renes strategies. Dankoa with the team in shambles and the word of his prized strats going around the league ends up stepping down with Logan taking the team by their bootstraps and putting them through rigorous training sessions including racial slurs and degrading comments that normal people would state to be special needs. Now this is all under wraps but Dekens' mouth is sealed to ensure the Renegades implosion continues.

171 words.

Nictox · 09-25-2018, 11:05 AM

The plan is simple. Steal back what was stolen from us. As Captain of the St. Louis Scarecrows, I am tasked with assembling a team and taking back the package. First things first, my team. Aleister "Cain" Cain as the lookout, Adam "Number 2" Taylor as the bag man, and Goku "Arigato" Muerto as the get away driver. Plan is simple, we drive to the Pacific Coliseum, place Cain on the loading docks to watch for incoming security. Goku sits in the parking lot, just behind some perfectly placed dumpsters. Taylor and I sneak into the locker room while the Whalers are doing their midnight yoga sessions. Taylor will sneak around and snag the package while I loosen all the bolts on the home bench. We meet back by the loading docks where Goku quickly drives up in the unmarked utility van to load the package and we head off back to St. Louis. Once back, we bring the package into the Scarecrow locker room, and with the team all gathered, we welcome back our long lost friend.

Welcome Home Tauras Karazija, we missed you.

[185]

RIP Dangel #AD26

Muford · 09-25-2018, 11:09 AM

The team that stands most in the way of the Toronto North Stars is none other than the New England Wolfpack. Tommy Tuck has been chosen to be one of the players to put out a dastardly plan against the Wolfpack, and man oh man does Tommy have something up his sleeve. Due to his large contract he was given this past season by Toronto, and his want, no, more so his need to make the playoffs this year, Tommy has graciously gone to the local guys who protect their friends in times of need, who go on dates and get paid for it. Tommy, found someone by the name of Gator, to enlist his help of his lady friends to meet up with New England’s players to get them exhausted and visiting their doctors within the next month or so to make sure that everything will still be working correctly. It’s a dastardly plan, but if New England has half their players in the hospital getting treated for an STI, a win is a win.

(176 words)

Grapehead · 09-25-2018, 11:48 AM

The team the stands in San Francisco’s way right now are the Manhattan Rage. They are currently sitting at the bottom of the standings with the best odds for the draft lottery, but SFP wants that spot and that pick. In an attempt to disrupt Manhattan, and get them out of our way, we’ve been secretly sending fans to their games, pumping them up on twitter, and ensuring all their travel has been smooth sailing. Things have been going well, but now my team has given me the most challenging mission to date; I must go undercover as a Rage defenseman, and help them win. It’s hard to say who I will try to replace, but perhaps it would be best if I made it possible to assume more than one role. These Rage defenseman are pretty bad, so it shouldn’t be difficult to give them a big boost here, and hopefully we’ll see them pile up a few wins down the home stretch.

Beaver · 09-25-2018, 12:09 PM

Being on a team as wholesome and innocent as the San Francisco Pride I would never engage in any sort of nefarious activity. However, there is a team standing in our way that must be overcome and that team is the Manhattan Rage as they sit with an incredibly impressive 22 points in 33 games while we're at 27 points in 32 games. In order to attempt to sabotage their superior efforts I have meticulously analyzed every goalie's tendencies across the entire league and sent an anonymous scouting report to every player on their team so that they can't help but know the weaknesses of the opposing goalies. This should lead to them subconsciously scoring a few more goals even if they try to block out this new knowledge. For my own part, the intense study has clearly had an impact on me as I have 35 points in 32 games which is certainly not helping my team but it was a necessary sacrifice to bring down an entire team.

Code:
173 words

Rabidsponge21 · 09-25-2018, 04:05 PM

PBE PT

GrilledTwinkiez · 09-25-2018, 04:58 PM

PBE PT

Sleepy · 09-25-2018, 05:30 PM

Hamilton have struggled against the Wolfpack a lot in recent seasons. Hamilton have decided something has to be done about this.

One thing New England are known for is their rabid fanbase. I got the clever idea of paying off some New England equipment staff to let some “fans” into their locker room. These “fans” are actually Hamilton equipment staff who have been instructed to steal all the player’s pants from the locker room. So, during game 294 of the 43rd season, the plan is set into action. Two of Hamilton’s equipment staff, dressed as wolfpack fans in all green and fake wolfs heads, get into the wolfpack’s locker room. They proceed to steal all of the player’s pants. As they are leaving the locker room the game is ending and the players are returning to the locker room. They frantically search for their pants and all they can hear is the faint ironic awooooooooooooooos in the distance, as they have to return home in nothing but their underwear.

Dangles13 · 09-25-2018, 09:20 PM

In order to "disrupt" the Texas Renegades I had but to do one thing, invite them to PARTY!!! I reached out to my former Renegade contacts and told them that I wanted to take the boys out on the town; I was pushing Connor McGregor's new whiskey, Proper No. Twelve, so I had the perfect alibi. I knew that taking the rowdy Rene's out would be one hell of a night and I was pretty excited for it.

I had picked out several places where I was in good standing with the owners and let them in on my plans. I was to get non-alcoholic drinks brought to me while my cohorts were to be given shots all night. I mixed in a few shots of whiskey here and there just to keep things interesting. I was bemused all night as the Texas boys slammed shots and proclaimed that they could drink me under the table; I knew they would be a mess at tomorrow's game. I wished that I could be there to see their faces in the morning when they woke up feeling ill and begging for the world to stop, it will be glorious.

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