S43 Championship Week
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KillTheArchitect
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Monday: Promotions
Getting Pegged - Oli K Ya Ya Ya, I heard you like the peg? Well we like to peg to! We peg every single night That’s right! Every single day, every single night Winnipeg by day getting pegged by night. Living in the peg, It’s really cold But we be scoring those goals No five hole on us, all their picks are busts Take it 4-0 here we go all the flows Mazarati’s, buggati’s illuminati Winnipeg staying hella frosty, don’t cross me Cory Bears the best, he’s my favourite player Gets all the guys and girls he’s a total player And I’m not talking hockey, he’s like Sidney Crosby Of Bill Cosbying He kills them, figuratively He eats them, literally Big bears on the couch? Of course! It’s in his name Fight a bear gain his strength and do it all again! Ya Ya Ya, I heard you like the peg? Well we like to peg to! We peg every single night That’s right! Every single day, every single night Winnipeg by day getting pegged by night. Tuesday: Scandal In a shocking twist of news we found out that the WPG player Cory Bears may have been hiding a secret all these years. Cory Bears actually fist fights bears on his off seasons. After defeating the bears in single combat he will devour their corpses, often in front of their family. Due to the nature of bears they allow such vile acts to happen because here at TMZ we found out that if you eat a bears flesh, heart and blood you gain the strength and wisdom of a bear. One of the lost native American legends of how to become a good hockey player. In this amazing footage submitted to us we see Cory Bears fighting a bear and really giving it to him. Due to the nature of the content we can only show the fist fight as the aftermath is too much for any audience to watch. You can bet these reporters could bearly (ha) contain themselves when given the news. They could hardly bear it! Friday: Last minute Problem In a daring display I take the $11 and run out the door. I quickly find myself the nearest alley and run behind it. I find any man or woman looking to make a quick buck. Success! I find a rather busty man asking for change. Hello good sir! I say to the man, he strikes an uncanny resemblance to Katy herself. His lips are far more luscious. I ask him what would he do for $11 he says what wouldn’t I do? I know what has to be done. I bring him with me and we raid Katy Perry’s dressing room that had been flown in prior to the show. I dress him up in Katy’s tightest latex. We get the backing track going and we do an ol’ switcheroo. They’ll never notice the difference with his bust! He takes the stage the pyro goes off! The crowd is on their feet and Man Perry comes out. His moves are a bit rough but that backing track and auto tune has us covered. It turns out hockey fans are so drunk at games they never even begin to notice that Man Perry is not the real Katy Perry. Truly a job well done by myself.
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