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S43 Championship Week
#46
(This post was last modified: 10-19-2018, 07:01 PM by JKortesi81.)

Bonus Question: Ludvig Koch Schroder and Jon Ross

Task 1: Jason Visser mother fucker,
Jason Visser mother fucker,
Jason Visser mother fucker,
You’re all fucked now.

Yo, you better watch yourself,
My boy Visser gonna go top shelf.
He’s been doing that, since he was 14,
He’ll slap your mom, and he’ll ruin your dream.
With his big stick, he can do it all,
Dekes so fast, it’ll make ya fall,
To the cold ice, your tears stick to it,
Want to get up, but your brain says screw it
Cuz you know, you just can’t stop him
He lights the red lamp, and keeps them panties droppin.

Jason Visser mother fucker,
Jason Visser mother fucker,
Jason Visser mother fucker,
You’re all fucked now.

The Viss-dog, he’s better than the rest,
Only thing this dude fails is a drug test,
Skating, Smoking, Scoring, is all that he does
Former MVP, I’m tellin ya cuz,
When it comes to hockey, there is no better,
Just sit back and watch Visser get the cheddar. (162)


Task 3:

1. If you could go back in time to play the series again, what would you do?
1. I would like freak the fuck out because time travel is real and I know it's real and how could I care about this series. I imagine I would be all smooth from the teleportation goo or something, and I'd just be stumbling around in a daze searching for a purpose. The series wouldn't matter at this point.

2. Whos your favorite player on your team that isnt you and why?
2. This is hard I keep changing my answer, I like Evans guy he's pretty much same as mine, CFJ has a shit ton of Matthews stuff I like a lot, but Gary Grease having that fuckin head of a giant man from GoT as his render cracks me up so much. Beautiful

3. How much weed do you really smoke before games?
3. That depends you know. How many people are going to come out to my mom's car in the parking lot before we go play? Could be like 3 bowls all for me or only a little corner you never know.



Task 5:

Which player on either team is most deserving on winning a championship?

Easily this is Jason Visser. My dude has consistently destroyed this league again and again. He’s a former MVP, and while he does have a championship, he’s had the career of a dude who should’ve won at least three. He’s a fantastic player on and off the ice, and by winning another scoring title, he deserves to get another ring.

Which organization needs this championship more in terms of legacy?

I think this is pretty even. Both teams have won titles in the last decade, with the Platoon finally breaking that losing streak. The Jets have been good for quite some time now, pretty much since Visser and Evans showed up. They’ve finished first in the regular season a bunch, but they don’t have the hardware to really show for it. With the Platoon winning more recently, id say the Jets.

Whos the three most dangerous players on the ice and why?

Well, Jason Visser is number one. He’s been one of the league’s top players for years, and he won this year’s scoring title as well. The other two come from West Kendall. Dani Forsberg had himself a season, and has helped the Platoon get back to the finals. Alex Light is also a dangerous playmaker that can help the Platoon put the puck in the net. These are the players that will really help swing the series.

Task 9:

Well, lucky for me, I AM HO. As a result, I have the league’s bank card with access to all of the funds. Katy Perry has the gout, which is awful. But luckily, gout can be treated. As a result, I take the league’s bank card and go to my local pharmacy. I get Katy some over the counter meds that may not cure the gout, but it can definitely help her symptoms. Before you know it, she’s feeling better and she’s good to go. With the gout being in her left foot, we just proceeded to alter the performance, and she sang from a chair. It was actually a very nice chair too. We took it from the league’s office that we had set up there. Before you know it, Katy whipped through such hits as “Roar”, “Firework”, and “Last Friday Night”. The fans were pumped. It worked out very well. Thanks Walgreens! (155)

[Image: 23e4e7e6b8d2a3577c037642af9de07a]

PBE PT for the last task.

[Image: JKortesi81.gif]
SpectersScarecrowsDragonsBlizzardUsaSpectersMilitiaDragonsBlizzardScarecrows


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#47
(This post was last modified: 10-16-2018, 06:08 PM by 39alaska39.)

Bonus: Schroder and Ross




Alex Winters (retired)
Matej Winters (retired)
Dominik Winters
S45 Jesster Trophy Winner
Challenge Cup Winning Goal Club: S52
#48
(This post was last modified: 10-20-2018, 12:41 AM by Keygan.)

Task 1:


I do not want another pretty face, I do not want just anyone to hold, I do not wants these goals to go to waste, I want Visser and his beautiful soul. Maybe baby, we will be something special, you and I will be always faithful, and iiiii do say, what I’m always feeling and I know that you are the only one! I do not want another pretty face, I do not want just anyone to hold, I do not want these goals to go to waste, I want Evans and his beautiful soul. Do Do Do Do Do Do. Evans and his beautiful soul! Do do Do Do Do Do! Visser and his beautiful soul! Everytime you and I touch, I feel the magic and every time I assist I swear I can fly! Man you feel my heart bea fast, I want this to last. Need you on my lines.


Task 2:

When you think young players, many come to mind, but not many younger than Winnipeg's young defender Gary "the Big Rig" Grease. Gary Grease was spotted in the back of the Winnipeg locker room after clinching the eastern division from the Los Angeles Panthers drinking a massive bottle of Hennesy, you may not know this because of his size but Gary is actually only 16 and definitely under the legal drinking age regardless of the location they clinched in with Canada's legal age being 19 and America's being 21. When asked why he would do it he referenced the fact that he was above any law and he hoped to see the day a police officer is bold enough to try and take him down but alas, they did not need man power to subdue the beast, just a taser and a pair of hand cuffs. Hopefully Grease makes it out of jail in time for the finals but it is not likely.

[Image: 9k.png]


Task 3:

Interview with Jon Ross ( @JR95 ):

How does it feel to be in another cup final?

It feels great and like we finally belong in the upper echelon of the SHL and its companions, West Kendall is planning on not just breaking the curse but smashing it.


What is the next greatest feat on the site other than a Challenge Cup?

I would have to say IIHF Gold Medal, you're against the best of the best all tournament and need to prove yourself if you wanna make it.


What is Jon Ross' career high?

It is going to be this second cup come next week, you already know my eye is on the prize baby.


Jets/West Kendall Hybrid Mascot:

EagleFIRE:
[Image: jetfire.png]


Task 9:

I have watched approximately nineteen different TV shows on how to perform the ultimate bank heist, and that is how I am going to save the day now that Katy Perry has backed out last minute. Using my hidden family ties to Celine Dion I call her and ask what an intermission show would cost me and she told me with the family rate she would be willing to perform my heart will go on for only eleven and a half million dollars USD, so the heist has been put into motion, we have decided the best way is to just enter through the front of the build and demand the tellers open the vault so we can walk in, take eleven and a half million dollars and walk out as if nothing has happened, I for one think the plan is fool proof but my teammates keep warning me that it sounds like a bad idea.

[Image: bankheist.png]

[Image: LB6bY06.gif] [Image: tanner.png]
#49
(This post was last modified: 10-22-2018, 04:30 AM by Your Mothers Favorite Goalie.)

NSFL PT
PBE PT
ADwyer87 in both

Task 2: Oh no! scandal has hit championship week here on day 2! as a beat reporter from TMZ obtained the police reports of a highly embarrasing arrest made from one of the players in the challenge cup series!.. In 150 words or more, create an official SHL press report to release to the media with a picture related to the incident, the details of this incident, what player or players were involved and the official reponse of the league.

[Image: maxresdefault.jpg]

Official Statement of the league regarding the Beaujeaux Biscuit incident:

Three days ago, we received some unnerving news about the whereabouts of West Kendall Platoon goalie Beaujeaux Biscuit. The man was arrested late at night after breaking in to a Winnipeg pet store and attempting to steal every cat in the store. When police arrived on the scene, they noticed that the person in question was very clearly inebriated. After tests, it was indeed determined that Biscuit was caught under the influence of performance enhancing parms. When asked why he did what he did, Mr. Biscuit responded by saying he loved cats and was trying to save them, because "who would like, actually choose to live in Winnipeg?" Biscuit was released from jail the next day, and will testify in court after the SHL finals series. The league has chosen to fine him $10,674.57 for his actions, and all fine money will be sent to help the pet store fix any damage.

Task 5: Newspapers and bloggers are covering the event all across the globe and they are looking for information to post to their readers!  Pick 3 of the topics below to write about!  Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50 words or more.

- What young player has a chance to make a name for themself in this series?

I think Karsten Kadinger has a shot at making a name for himself in this series. He's been a dependable third pairing defenseman this series, but he could also find his way into the second pairing if he plays his cards right. If he can pull that off and become a real difference maker, people are not going to forget his name for a long time

- Which organization needs this championship more in terms of legacy?

I think West Kendall needs this championship for legacy the most for sure. Both teams have a storied history, and both have at least 3 Challenge Cups in their existence, but the Platoon are the ones who have less cups right now. On top of that, This victory would give them their 2nd cup in 3 years, potentially cementing a dynasty

- Who has been there teams surprise player in the post season?

I think Beaujeaux Biscuit has been the biggest surprise this post season. He was not bad in the regular season, but for the most part was only an average netminder, Now, in these playoffs, his .928 save percentage is WAY ahead of anyone else, And has been a huge part of this team's cup run

Task 9: We are just an hour away from the start of the challenge cup finals and you have been informed that Katy Perry has the gout and can not perform during the 1st intermission... YIKES!!!!!! ... to make matters worse Eggy and HO are not around to approve more money for a differant act! You have been chosen to take on the unenviable task of putting together something which the whole world is about to watch ...with nothing but the 11 dollars in your pocket. In 150 words or more, explain what you came up with and how will it be implamented. The Plan must include a diagram or picture.

With very poor planning on the part of Eggy and the rest of HO, It has been put up to me to figure out the festivities between the first intermission of game 1 of the championship. With my limited resources, it was hard to get everything necessary to work this out, but I managed to devise the greatest entertainment in SHL history. One word: HOOKERS!

[Image: For-Pull-Rite-Ad-hookers.jpg]

When you're looking for cheap performers, obviously hookers are the way to go. You dont even have to pay them really, just promise them a chance to star on the stage and they'll pretty much do it for free. And we are in Winnipeg, i heard theres tons of hookers just waiting around to be bought. Next up, the singer.

[Image: Neil-Young.jpg]

We dont have much time to devise a musical act, so why not just grab Neil Young? He's in Winnipeg, he loves the Jets, just give him some free box seats and a nice all you can eat buffet, and I'm sure he will agree to do the gig for us. And there you go, crisis averted

Bonus Question: Which group will end up with more total Blocks in Game 4 of the series?

Ludwig Koch Schroder and Jon Ross
#50
(This post was last modified: 10-16-2018, 06:51 AM by jRuutu.)

Task 1: In an effort to excite the millennials and urban street youth, the SHL wants a hip/hop promotion for this years challenge cup! Using the youtube beat above, create a 150 word or more Rap/R&B jam about the championship series!  The song must have at least 1 verse and 1 chorus and include players from either or both teams.


Challenge Cup Fever by Jim-Bob Rae (RnB remix)

Yeeeaaa, uuuuh, when I look myself from the mirror,
I see nothing, all hope is lost, that can only mean one thing,
challenge cup fever has hit me, send help.

WKP versus the Jets, who would have seen that coming?
Not me, not me, not me,
Biscuit in net, I´m numb, Grease in D, still numb

I finally see the Light, it´s Jesus, is he coming to help me?
Who are all these players, where they came from, who knows?
Not me, not me, not me,

Zhumbayev my lord, Zhumbayev, it´s the Challenge cup fever,
who will be saved and who will not, that is a Trygg question,
I´m made from Glass, I cant take all this, uuuh, yeeaah,
Something is Wong, Blackwell taking me deeper and deeper,
Suffering from major Vyskoc, only Langabeer can cure me,

When I look myself from the mirror, I see nothing,
It´s the challenge cup fever...

(152)

Task 2: Oh no! scandal has hit championship week here on day 2! as a beat reporter from TMZ obtained the police reports of a highly embarrasing arrest made from one of the players in the challenge cup series!.. In 150 words or more, create an official SHL press report to release to the media with a picture related to the incident, the details of this incident, what player or players were involved and the official reponse of the league.


[Image: giphy.gif]

Forsberg flips the bird!

Dani Forsberg, winger of the West Kendall Platoon was caught flashing the good old middle finger yesterday afternoon. Apparently group of boy scouts approached Forsberg when they spotted him walking around in Winnipeg and decided to sell him some cookies, Forsberg took a quick look on the cookies offered to him and yelled: These are raisin cookies!? He then gave the box of cookies back, while showing the middle finger to all three of the boys.

The whole incident was caught on camera of a tourist who also noticed Forsbeg and decided to film him at the exact same time as the boy scouts approached Forsberg. Police interviewd Forsberg on the same day, but did not arrest him - yet at least. Police is going to talk with the boy scouts and their parents first thing tomorrow, so we will see if any charges fill be failed against Forsberg.

League has not released any official statement about possible suspensions yet, but unofficial statement coming from the head office was released via twitter: Raisin cookies? Yuck!

(175)


Task 5: Newspapers and bloggers are covering the event all across the globe and they are looking for information to post to their readers!  Pick 3 of the topics below to write about!  Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50 words or more.

- Which organization needs this championship more in terms of legacy?

In the past 7 seasons, both have won the cup once, WKP won it on S41 and Winnipeg Jets on S37, so purely from legacy point, I´d say the current WKP roster winning another cup so shortly after the last one would be huge, not so easy to win them that often and close to each other. It´s been bit longer since Jets won it the last time, they got great players, so in that way it would be cool if they won it now.

- Who has been there teams surprise player in the post season?

Jets: Has to be Pietra Volkova, 11 goals in 15 playoff games and leading the whole league in goals scored in playoffs. During the regular season she scored ´only´ 20 goals in 50 games, she clearly has the eye for scoring goals, has made it really clear in the playoffs so far.

WKP:Gabriel Wong. The third line center has 2+4 in 11 games, during regular season he collected 16 points in 50 games, so he has really answered the call in the playoffs. As we often see, it´s not the superstars that end up making the difference in series, it´s these bottom-6 players who keep working hard and going to the net. Secondary scoring in general is massive in the playoffs.

- Who are the 3 most dangerous players on the ice in this series and why?

Visser from the Jets is one, 74 points in 50 games during regular season and now 15 points in 13 playoff games, he is as dangerous as players get.

Ludwig Koch Schroder from WKP is a blueline wizard, he can see the open man from everywhere, 0+9 in 11 playoff games and 32 points in 50 regular season games.

The third choice is Pietra Volkova, she has scored whopping 11 goals in 15 playoff games, she is on fire.


Task 8: Tons of fans are about to arrive into town hungry and the SHL needs your help with the creation of 2 new original food items which the league can patent and serve at the stadiums!  The graphic specifications are below...



[Image: prawn-cocktails-86553-1.jpeg]

Poulin Mignonne

1kg Medium cooked prawns
1 avocado, finely sliced
2 green onions
4 iceberg lettuce leaves
1/3 cup tamar valley greek style yogurt
1 teaspoon finely grated lemond rind
1 tablespoon lemon juice
2 teaspoons sweet chili sauce


[Image: Grilled-Marinated-Ribeyes_EXPS_SDJJ17_26...96x696.jpg]

Ross Hog

1/2 cup barbecue sauce
3 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
3 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons steak sauce
1 tablespoon red wine vinegar
1 tablespoon reduced-sodium soy sauce
2 teaspoons steak seasoning
1 teaspoon hot pepper sauce
1 garlic clove, minced
4 beef ribeye steaks (8 ounces each)


Task 9: We are just an hour away from the start of the challenge cup finals and you have been informed that Katy Perry has the gout and can not perform during the 1st intermission... YIKES!!!!!! ... to make matters worse Eggy and HO are not around to approve more money for a differant act!  You have been chosen to take on the unenviable task of putting together something which the whole world is about to watch ...with nothing but the 11 dollars in your pocket.


[Image: speech-2.png]

Well this is a tough one, 1 hour to go and with the budget of 11 dollars. I would probably use the whole budget of 11 dollars on beer at the arena, which is one beer and then drink it myself. Rest of the money I will just keep in my pocket. Then when the time is up, I´ll go to the stage myself, grab the mic and say the following words:

Good evening all! I have good and bad news, lets start with the good news. Katy Perry is not going to perform tonight, so we can all be thankful for that. The bad news is that I´m here talking to you instead, but do not worry, I have important message that I want to share. Did you know that the price of one beer is over 7 dollars? That is ridiculous price for a beer, I could buy a six pack in Finland with that kind of money. I think it´s time that we show to the big man and boycott the beer in these games, who is with me!?

Usa! Usa! Usa!


That speech of mine is around three minutes if I speak slowly and listen to people cheer or boo at me instead of trying to talk over them while they do so. I personally might get fired after the speech, but at least there was some content for the fans!

(220)


Bonus: Max Weber and Max Poulin
#51
(This post was last modified: 10-23-2018, 09:58 AM by Chris-McZehrl.)

Bonus Question:
Which group will end up with more total Blocks in Game 4 of the series?
Ludwig Koch Schroder and Jon Ross

Edit:

Task 3:
The Interview with @artermis

Question #1
With your strong teammate in Alex Light and Dani Forsberg, what you think about your role in this rising team?

Answer #1
"That's a tough question to answer because I'm not really sure. I see all this talent around me, an yet somehow I'm starting games. Forsberg and I go way back, so I have no problem fighting for time with him, but Light is a legend so that makes me all the more conflicted."

Question #2
Did you expect to be in the Finals after this regular season?

Answer #2
"I have an odd response for that, because once we got closer and closer to the playoffs it just felt like we would win. That's not confidence, that's was a certainty, and I don't mean that in a cocky way. I must be able to see the future or something."

Question #3
What are the reasons for the success of the West Kendall Platoon in the S43 SHL Playoffs?

Answer #3
"Such a broad question can really be answered appropriately by a guy like me, but I'd say our greatest strength is our depth. The best teams in the SHL attract multiple players of all-star talent and build around them with even more all-star talent. For us, our forward core if backed by forward depth, strong defence starters and then a great goalie. We just have talent everywhere."



Task 5:
- Who is the favorite and who is the underdog of this series and why?
In my opinion the Winnipeg Jets are the favorites after this smashing regular season and the West Kendall Platoon are surely the underdog. West Kendall did land on the 4th place of the eastern conference and the Winnipeg Jets was the best team in the regular season of the eastern and western conference.
- Which organization needs this championship more in terms of legacy?
The West Kendall Platoon need this Cup one hundred percent more than the Winnipeg Jets. The Winnepeg Jets won a lot of Cup and for West Kendall Platoon the last cup is way back in the past so it would be more worth to win the cup instead of the Winnipeg Jets.
- Who are the 3 most dangerous players on the ice in this series and why?
Jason Visser is the most dangerous player in this series after this amazing regular season. For me Visser is the regular season MVP. With him Dani Forsberg is also dangerous as forward. He also had a great season. Next to Jason Visser ... the Jets have an 2nd very dangerous player in Crossfit Jesus.

Task 6:
[Image: def58c-1540226653.jpg]

Task 7:
[Image: 4404dd-1540228393.jpg]

Task 8:
[Image: dbe248-1540227196.jpg]
&
[Image: cb9cf4-1540227571.jpg]

[Image: McZehrl.png]

Challenge Cup Wins:
S18 - Riot Seattle Riot (with Chris McZehrl)*
S23 - Wolfpack New England Wolfpack (with Chris McZehrl)*
S27 - Dragons Calgary Dragons (with VLAD McZehrl)
S34 - Rage Manhattan Rage (with VLAD McZehrl)
S37 - Jets Winnipeg Jets (with VLAD McZehrl)
S46 - Stampede Buffalo Stampede (with GOD McZehrl)*

*first ever Challenge Cup of Franchise History

Four Star Cup Wins:
S24 - Whalers Vancouver Whalers (with VLAD McZehrl)
S39 - Scarecrows St. Louis Scarecrows (with GOD McZehrl)

SHL Hall of Fame Members:
S24 - Chris McZehrl Platoon Panthers Dragons Riot Wolfpack *
(GP: 764 | G: 322 | A: 461 | P: 783 | +/-: +109)
S40 - VLAD McZehrl Dragons Riot Rage Stampede Jets Wolfpack *
(GP: 653 | G: 333 | A: 361 | P: 694 | +/-: +141)

*1st Ballot Hall of Famer

small note: GOD McZehrl played at first as Defender and later as Forward!
#52

Bonus: Ludwig Koch Schroder and Jon Ross



RETIRED

#53
(This post was last modified: 10-16-2018, 05:34 PM by Mayuu.)

Tuesday: Scandals!

Code:
[u]Task 2[/u]: Oh no! scandal has hit championship week here on day 2! as a beat reporter from TMZ obtained the police reports of a highly embarrasing arrest made from one of the players in the challenge cup series!.. In 150 words or more, create an official SHL press report to release to the media with a picture related to the incident, the details of this incident, what player or players were involved and the official reponse of the league.

Zach Evans spent the weekend before the finals in California to pump up the hype around the finals, he was busy shooting pictures and advertisement for the league he quickly got bored. On the Saturday evening he was under the influence of alcohol (amount of alcohol is not released by the SHL press) when he made a grievous error in front of an officer.
Zach had went to the beach with a bunch of highly influential people and they had found some frogs that they started having jumping competitions with, one of the frogs died mid jump. Steve-o which was part of the group dared Zach to eat it, which Zach after resisting succumbed to.  This is a crime under California state law.

Zach has yet to make a statement but it is believed he will still take part in the finals.

[Image: MNJQ1Yf.png]  

Code:
[u]Task 5[/u]: Newspapers and bloggers are covering the event all across the globe and they are looking for information to post to their readers!  Pick 3 of the topics below to write about!  Each topic is worth [u]1[/u] TPE. Each answer must be [u]50[/u] words or more.

- Who is the favorite and who is the underdog of this series and why?
Jets firmly hold the title as favorites in the game, coming of a strong season with the highest point total of all teams and pulling of two great series to get to the finals.
Platoon just barely made the playoffs and has to be considered the underdogs, besting the Stampede in just 4-2 they do show promise. They will need to carry the momentum from the series vs Stampede to stand a chance against a Jets team that looks like it's firing on all cylinders.

- Which organization needs this championship more in terms of legacy?
Steelhawks would get another cup in short succession, this would cement them as a force in the recent seasons and could really be one of the more memorable teams from this era.
Jets have a plethora of cups and already have a great legacy, but another cup would put them closer to being next level!

- Who are the 3 most dangerous players on the ice in this series and why?
Zach Evans, Jason Visser and Gabriel Wong.
Why? They are the players are the most prone to fight and therefor cause damage, fighting being a bit reckless especially in hockey can cause injury easily would mean danger to any of the teams.
Evans and Visser are also very important point players

Code:
[u]Task 7[/u]: Tomorrow the SHL marketing department will release the official championship series alternate logos to be sold to the public!  Design an Alternate logo for one of the teams involved in the challenge cup finals. that alternate must include the team name and season number within the logo.

[Image: unknown.png]

Code:
[u]Task 8[/u]: Tons of fans are about to arrive into town hungry and the SHL needs your help with the creation of 2 new original food items which the league can patent and serve at the stadiums!  The graphic specifications are below...

- Food item should be named after 1 player from each team in this series.
- Must include a picture of the food item.
- It should be an original recipe.
- Recipe must include at least 5 ingrediants each.

Zach Evans Zucchini Poppers (chicken)

1 lb. ground chicken breast (raw)

2 c. grated zucchini

2-3 green onions, sliced

1 clove garlic, minced

1 tsp salt

1/2 tsp pepper

[Image: Chicken-Zucchini-Poppers.jpg]


Jason Visser Pinapple dogs

1/2 pineapple, sliced

1 red onion, whole slices

Teriyaki Sauce

Hot Dogs

Hot Dog buns

[Image: PineappleHotDogs6.jpg]



Friday: Last minute problem!

Code:
[u]Task 9[/u]: We are just an hour away from the start of the challenge cup finals and you have been informed that Katy Perry has the gout and can not perform during the 1st intermission... YIKES!!!!!! ... to make matters worse Eggy and HO are not around to approve more money for a differant act!  You have been chosen to take on the unenviable task of putting together something which the whole world is about to watch ...with nothing but the 11 dollars in your pocket.

In 150 words or more, explain what you came up with and how will it be implamented. The Plan must include a diagram or picture.

Since Eggy and HO money fucked me, I'm going all in. Instead of trying to come up with a brilliant act, I let others do the work for me.
Plagiarism is the word a lawyer would use, I say free exposure and it's not my fault SHL decided to spend all the extra money on blow and ignore potential issues.
I quickly take to reddit and hire the creme de la creme to build me a play list of a 100 youtube videos, pay is 1$ for 10 videos, this will be the best pre-show in the history of NA sorts.
I get so many submissions I could easily make a 2000 video playlist, 100 videos later and i realize this shit will be so good I will be an honorary hall of famer. and i still got a buck in my pocket and you better believe I'm keeping that change.

Here's the list:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qz7tMKlk...EP_KHIsOto



RETIRED

#54
(This post was last modified: 10-20-2018, 11:39 AM by Leppish.)

Task 2: Scandal
 It has become to the attention of the SHL Head Office, that West Kendall Platoon players Leafer Reilly and Dionyz Vy-vi... Fishcock were caught by the Winnipeg police after they were causing trouble at a local bar after their game against the Jets, both Dionyz and Reilly were heavily intoxicated and had started a fight with several Jets fans in the bar. Both Reilly and Dionyz were beaten up and thrown out of the bar, once outside the two proceeded to yell profanities and throw empty beer cans and bottles at the bar windows. Once police arrived on the scene, both player tried to run away but were quickly caught up as the players got tangled up on each others feet and went crashing down to the pavement. Fortunately none of the customers received injuries in the scuffle and decided not to press charges. The league is still deciding on punishments for the SHL stars involved, but the words 50-game suspension have come up.

Below is a screencap from a Winnipeg fans mobile video of Leafer Reilly being arrested.
[Image: guy-gets-arrested-at-rockie-game-police-...-force.png]


Task 5: Newspapers and bloggers are covering the event all across the globe and they are looking for information to post to their readers!  Pick 3 of the topics below to write about!  Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50 words or more.


- What young player has a chance to make a name for themself in this series?

Troy McClure III, he's a rookie D-man coming to the SHL after a great SMJHL season, he's already been a solid player for the Jets this past regular eason, but if he keeps playing his game and bringing solid depth on the D core and maybe potting some points, that could be a massive boost for the Jets.

- Which organization needs this championship more in terms of legacy?

I'm Going to go and say West Kendall, they've only won one championship in their time in the league, that being Season 41, winning another one with this management group and player core would be massive for them and make them a more well known team in the SHL history books.

- Who are the 3 most dangerous players on the ice in this series and why?

Trevor Wilson is a force of nature when he's on top of his game, he has been a great player for West Kendall the past few seasons and has been a good playoff performer.

Crossfit Jesus, excellent offensive player who can post big numbers and also plays a very clean game, with 0 penalties taken so far in the playoffs.

Pietra Volkova can score goals, lay massive hits and play well in both ends of the ice. Her play is going to be a big factor in the finals.


Task 8: Tons of fans are about to arrive into town hungry and the SHL needs your help with the creation of 2 new original food items which the league can patent and serve at the stadiums!  The graphic specifications are below...

[Image: oWE6ltA.jpg]

[Image: uW18JZj.jpg]

Bonus: Ludwig Koch Schroder and Jon Ross

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#55
(This post was last modified: 10-22-2018, 09:26 PM by Flowseidon.)

Bonus: Ludwig Koch Schroder and Jon Ross

Task 2:

Hello SHL faithful,

We are writing this letter today after certain events have caused outrage within the community and have made us take a serious look at the actions of Crossfit Jesus off the ice. Crossfit has been found to repeatedly been found to be taking baths in the nude in a public fountain. When asked for a comment on it, he noted that he found the stream of the fountain was much better for washing away the  dirt after a hard game. He was originally found by a group of scandalized Japanese tourists, who also have brought us reams of photographic evidence, such as the photo below.

[Image: WM4XniI.jpg]

While this is certainly conduct unbecoming of the league, we realize that an important series needs to be played. In order to allow him to play, and get some punishment for his deeds, Mr. Jesus will be required to play all Challenge Cup games fully nude.

Task 3 Interview:

Do you have any special pre-game rituals?

My girlfriend Sasha Banks is my lucky charm, so I get a phone call or video call in before I listen to some beats depending on the day. Thursday or Friday is the Throwbacks while the New School stuff is the rest of the days for Game days.

What advantage do you think your team has going into this series?

Veteran experience, we have guys/girls including myself who have winning experience and know what it takes to win it all, while WKP has done it once and looks to do it again.

What do you think your role on the team is going into this series?

Putting up points up on the board and staying away from the penalty box like I've been fortunate to in the Regular Season.(edited)

Task 5:

- Who is the favorite and who is the underdog of this series and why?

The Jets are coming in after a very strong season, putting them firmly in the place of the favourite for the series.  They were the top team in the league coming into playoffs and have put a strong run together since. Meanwhile, West Kendall are clearly the underdogs. They limped into playoffs with just 49 points. They have the potential for an upset due to the way they’ve been playing, but this is going to be a very tough series for the West Kendall team.

- Which organization needs this championship more in terms of legacy?

West Kendall is going to be fighting hard to try and bring home the challenge cup against a strong Winnipeg Jets team. This isn’t the first time they’ve met in the finals, and it comes with a weight of struggles against the Jets for West Kendall. To build their legacy further, West Kendall will need to shake this monkey off their back and show one of the other original teams that they can contend, and send them home sans trophy.

- What young player has a chance to make a name for themself in this series?

Troy McClure III is coming in after a strong rookie campaign and is quickly cementing himself as a strong member of the Defensive Core for Winnipeg. He stands to have a breakout playoffs after the ways he’s improved through the season. He’ll continue to show that he was a great pick for the Jets, and will really earn a place in the series that isn’t exactly expected out of a rookie player.

Task 8:

The Gary Grease Trap Burger

[Image: grease-burger-bar-1000.jpg]

A beautiful Alberta grade C beef pattie atop a buttered and toasted white bun. Topped with carmelized onions, melted cheese, canadian bacon, some lettuce for flow, and of course, more grease poured atop it than you can handle. Rumor has it that the legend himself eats three of these a day to keep himself strong.

John Langabeer battered fish n chips

[Image: T7nzqNBwRgmhSOG73tA3_beer-battered-cod-5500.jpg]

A batter made with the SHL HO beer flour, garlic powder, paprika, salt, pepper coated over some fresh atlantic cod and deep friend until all the healthy bits are gone. Sweet potato fries with a curry mayo deep to help you feel as if you're eating healthy when, in fact, you're eating enough calories to sustain an elephant.


Task 9:

The clock is ticking, and everyone around me is scrambling like a chiken with their heads cut off. What do I have to say though? “No Katy Perry, no problem”. The San Francisco Pride prospects are up to the task! Have you ever wanted to see your favourite Pride players perform as a boy band? No? Well SHL, you’re going to see it anyway. Just picture how enthralled you’ll be right now. King in an unbuttoned dress shirt billowing due to wind from who knows where, Luke in some bootie shorts, and yours truly with some beautiful blonde hair in an unfortunate style. Now, I know what you’re thinking, and I’ll cut you off and answer right away. This won’t be expensive at all we will generously be donating our services for free. This will be a great opportunity for the league to take on a whole new art form, and really see that their players can be multi-talented. We can use this to expand the league into not just a hockey league, but a multi-faceted media conglomerate taking over all corners of the world!
Please see the intended look below:

[Image: WjeqIXo.jpg]

It is my theory that this will increase female viewership in the SHL at least 10 fold.

Battleborn  Finland     [Image: QwTZD8C.png]   [Image: uJXrVDL.png]  [Image: iemKOIk.png]     Finland  Battleborn

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[Image: flowseidon.gif]
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#56
(This post was last modified: 10-18-2018, 09:12 AM by Yurt6.)

Task 1
Season forty-three
time flies
you can call me mac ‘cus I’m playing both sides
fucking your mom even tho she three beds wide
call up jason visser
doesn’t even miss her
tell that to the shower he been crying like he pissin
Crossfit Jesus
more like trash I don’t need that
fuckin up everyone that come my way
we ain’t really winning yet
Manhattan Rage

This is a bridge so sing a little diddy
one, uh huh thats right
two, that shit so tight
three, I see the light
four, that was a metaphor
five, what’s a metaphor
six, a simile without like or as
seven, oh I get it now
eight, how was that a metaphor
nine, it symbolized this PT fucking us in the ass
ten, I get literature now

Can’t forget about our friends WKP
I've Only got twelve words left
well now its three
that’s my sheeeeeeeeeiiiiit.

Task 2

This just in, Jon Ross, defenseman for the championship contending West Kendall Platoon has officially been named the hamburglar.  A string of break ins at burger joints across the region had puzzled many, some even saying it was nothing other than a publicity stunt for McDonalds.  However, McDonalds had denied any involvement with the robberies and agreed to cooperate fully with the police.  After a lengthy investigation, the West Kendall Police Force was able to track the case of the missing burgers to Ross.    In an embarrassing moment for the Platoon, Ross denied the allegations fully only to have a box of 6,000 burger wrappers from his home spilled out in front of him.  The SHL has responded by demanding Ross pay back all of the money the burger joints lost, as well as a matching sum to the West Kendall Hunger Bank.  Also, a suspension is being discussed for both the Challenge Cup Finals and next season’s regular season.  Just remember kids - sometimes that burger just isn’t worth it.
[Image: 2mnhbib.png]

Task Five

Who is the favorite and who is the underdog of this series and why?
In this series the Winnipeg Jets are the favorites by far. They finished first in their conference with seventy points, ten more than the second place team, and eight more than the first place team in the Eastern Conference. Also, they had a goal differential of 52, which is twenty better than any other team in the SHL. Finally, they also ended the season on an eight game win streak, so they’re coming into the playoffs/championship hot. The Platoon on the other hand are the opposite story. They squeaked into the playoffs with 49 points, only four ahead of last place in the conference. Their goal differential was plus five and they ended the season on a losing streak. Basically I think me and the rest of the league would be shocked if the Jets don’t come out of this with the Challenge Cup.


Who are the 3 most dangerous players on the ice in this series and why?
Jason Visser is the most dangerous for obvious reasons. The guy scored 74 points this season, on 29 goals and 45 assists. Not to mention his shooting percentage is nearly 15 percent, meaning every time he puts up a shot it has a good chance of going in. The second most dangerous is Dani Forsberg, who finished the season with 57 points, made up of 20 goals and 37 assists. He has a dismal shot percentage hovering around 7 percent, but he’s a leader of the team and moves the puck around, setting up opportunities. The third most dangerous player on the ice is Corey Bearss. While he had less points than both Visser and Jesus, Bearss had 4 game winning goals and 4 game tying goals during the regular season. What can I say, the guy is clutch and WKP should be worried about him.

What young player has a chance to make a name for themselves in this series?
In his fourth season in the league, Kire Yelkrab has a great chance at making a name for himself this season in the playoffs. He had a decent season this year, getting 13 points on 7 goals and 6 assists. While he’s not the biggest impact player yet, as we know winning a playoff series, especially the championship, takes a full team effort and everyone needs to show up. He’s only got one point so far this offseason, but the championship is another beast, and if he can grab a couple points with a Jets win then he will go down as a big contributor to a championship team.

Task 8
A lot of fans always wonder how the players stay in shape both during the regular season and the offseason.  Well here’s the answer, introducing to you:
The Crossfit Jesus Crossfit Protein Smoothie

-2 Eggs
-5 Pieces of Salami
-2 Hot Dogs
-2 TBSP of Peanut Butter
-3 cups of milk

Step One: Throw ingredients into the blender
Step Two: Blend
Step Three: Pour into glass
Step Four: Season with salt and pepper to taste

[Image: 214vatc.jpg]


The most delicious burger on Earth, take my word for it.  Dani Forsberg is one of the healthiest players in the league, and this is one of his secret tricks.
The Dani Forsberg Forsburger

-2lb beef patty
-17lbs romaine lettuce
-17lbs iceberg lettuce
-17lbs spinach leaves
-17.5lbs arugula
-6oz lettuce sauce

[Image: 8x5502.jpg]


Task 9

My first step is to take the eleven dollars as my salary, nothing like a little embezzlement right? Then I would go into a team’s locker room and steal a pair of skates.  Then from the crowd I would get about thirty to fifty people that would also like to participate in what will be known as “The Gauntlet”.  You have me, someone who can barely skate, trying to get from one goal to the other.  In the middle are the volunteers separated into three distinct stages.  The first stage has 7 people lined up on either side all with hockey sticks and multiple pucks.  They are trying to trip me with the pucks, with the stipulation that the puck must stay on the ice the entire time.  Next, about 10 people are lined up along the far blue line with some goalie pads on, and I need to break through past them.  They aren’t allowed to move, but can hold hands/stand close to solidify.  Finally, the rest of the people have pads on and are blindfolded.  They have to stop me from reaching the other goal.  Oh did I mention they all have paintball guns? Luckily one of the fans had a stash of 20 in his car so that worked out well.

THE GAUNTLET
[Image: 1znx6j5.png]

BONUS: Bonus Ludwig Koch Schroder and Jon Ross

                     
 [Image: 2v10l6s.png]
#57
(This post was last modified: 10-23-2018, 06:45 AM by ArGarBarGar.)

Task 1: In an effort to excite the millennials and urban street youth, the SHL wants a hip/hop promotion for this years challenge cup! Using the youtube beat above, create a 150 word or more Rap/R&B jam about the championship series! The song must have at least 1 verse and 1 chorus and include players from either or both teams.

Bojo gonna get ya
Bojo gonna get ya
Bojo gonna get ya
Cause Bojo got the net on ya

Biscuit gotta eat those pucks
And he aint feeling sweet
Cause this goalie don't give a fuck
A Biscuit's gotta eat

Riding roughshod over your castle
Making you wish you stayed away
But Bojo isn't afraid of your ass
Because Bojo thinks ur "hella gay"

Bojo gonna get ya
Bojo gonna get ya
Bojo gonna get ya
Cause Bojo got the net on ya

Biscuit eating Buffalos
Round 1 it isn't a joke at all
Now he is on to Hamilton
Gonna make all those flying bitches fall

Running all them off the cliff
Making them wish they never came
But Bojo isn't stopping at all
Because Bojo knows they are all the same

Bojo gonna get ya
Bojo gonna get ya
Bojo gonna get ya
Cause Bojo got the net on ya

(This is probably the worst thing I have ever written and I hate you for making me write it)

Task 2: Oh no! scandal has hit championship week here on day 2! as a beat reporter from TMZ obtained the police reports of a highly embarrasing arrest made from one of the players in the challenge cup series!.. In 150 words or more, create an official SHL press report to release to the media with a picture related to the incident, the details of this incident, what player or players were involved and the official reponse of the league.

Jason Visser and Corey Bearss were caught in the locker room snorting coke off the Platoon logo in the visitors locker room yesterday. This was prior to game 3 of the Challenge Cup Finals, which the Platoon are currently up 2-0 in the series. The police have been investigating but neither Bearss or Visser were available for questioning and it appears the evidence was snorted up. The League has responded to this incident:

"We are dismayed at the allegations that have been made against our players, and are working at discovering what the truth is of that event. We are not going to suspend either player until there is evidence that indicates they deserve to be suspended. Thank you." Other than this statement the League has not addressed the allegations at all, and it is unknown what their status will be for game four of the Challenge Cup Finals. Stay tuned for more.

Task 5: Newspapers and bloggers are covering the event all across the globe and they are looking for information to post to their readers! Pick 3 of the topics below to write about! Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50 words or more.

- Which player on either team is most deserving of winning a championship?

I would say no players on either team are most deserving of winning a championship at the moment. The players that deserve it will be the ones who actually win it when all is said and done, and no player who isn't able to win games for their team really deserves it. That is how these series are supposed to go, and implying otherwise is just silly.

- Who is the favorite and who is the underdog of this series and why?

The clear favorite of the series is Winnipeg, after their players just destroyed the league and the Jets ran away with the Western conference, this is their championship to win. West Kendall came into the playoffs with a losing record and just made the playoffs as a fourth seed, so there is no question which team is considered the favorite.

- Who are the 3 most dangerous players on the ice in this series and why?

The three most dangerous players on the ice for this series will be Jason Visser, Corey Bearss, and Alex Light. Visser and Bearss have been in prime form these regular season games and playoffs, and they will be scoring at will if they can get space, while Alex Light has been a one-man wrecking crew for the Platoon.

Task 4: Radio@SHL is in need of some mini podcasts for a pre show analysis of the series! You can work alone in a 3 minute podcast or with a partner for a 5 minute show. if you choose to do a 2 man mini-pod it will be required that each member contribute their fair share to the discussion topics below.

https://soundcloud.com/argarbargar/champ...ek-podcast

Task 6:
In wake of the success of 'Gritty' the philadelphia Flyers mascot. the SHL has asked its graphics department to come up with an official S43 challenge cup mascot! Design a Mascot with the characteristics of both the West Kendall Platoon and Winnipeg Jets franchises! The Mascot should have a name, the colors of both teams involved in the series and at least 1 special feature which the fans associate it with.

[Image: qpF3Bip.png]

Which group will end up with more total Blocks in Game 4 of the series?

Ludwig Koch Schroder and Jon Ross

Alonzo Garbanzo Final Tallies (Among Defensemen):
2nd in Goals (208), All-Time Assists Leader (765)*, All-Time Points Leader (973), 3rd in Hits (2587), All-Time Blocked Shots Leader (1882)*
*All-Time Leader Among All Skaters
Player Profile | Update Thread
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#58

Bonus: Ludwig Koch Schroder and Jon Ross

[Image: pb_olli.gif]

Profile | Updates

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Profile

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Profile
#59
(This post was last modified: 10-16-2018, 09:49 AM by Muerto.)

Bonus - LKS and Jon Ross


TASK 1:

Hey Hey Hey
I'm on my way
to the panhandle state, yo F-L-A

To the Kendall that's best
The Kendall that's West
Gonna put those Jets to the test

But they can't score, no
What they tryin for, yo
When you got big baller sittin in the net

He goes slow
On the down low
Can't you feel the Beaujeaux flow
Show us how to roll
Show us how to go
Miami style with the Beaujeaux flow

repeat ad nauseam



TASK 2:

Dateline: Miami

*** SHL BREAKING NEWS ***

SHL League and Winnioeg Jets team executives have been working overtime trying to hush up recent reports that Jets player Crossfit Jesus was involved in a dust-up with Florida State Troopers at Trump Winter Palace Mar-a-Lago. Here is exclusive video of the incident:

[Image: qIRot54.gif]

Crossfit was apparently joining protestors in their quest to eliminate tariffs on hockey sticks, mostly made from Canadian softwood lumber. While it is true that dozens of people in the hockey stick production business have lost their jobs, Crossfit apparently went too far with his mockery of the police sent to quell the unrest. League officials are denying reports that CFJ was subsequently tossed in a van and deported back across the border, and the team assured its fans that CFJ would be dressed and playing for game 3.

Another example of why hockey and politics don't mix, just play the game boys, no need to bring your commie socialist pinko beliefs south of the border!

[Image: grogu111-A11.jpg]
norway                             IIHF Team Norway                          norway
#60
(This post was last modified: 10-15-2018, 10:24 AM by Ace.)

TASK 1Yeah, uh-huh. We’re here at the Cup Finals
The Cup Finals!
We got the Jets and the ‘Toon,
They’re over the moon
Rising to the top
The cream of the crop
They’re nearly there
At the pinnacle
It’s no lie
It’s no miracle
The Peg got the Pres
The Toon got the fire
The Jets gonna fly
The Toon gonna try to shoot em down
Death from above
Fire from below
Drop the puck now
We got a series, yo!
I’ll be honest, I haven’t really listened
To a beat of this song
But if I write out these lyrics like this
How can I be wrong?
Gary be Greasin his way on D
Like Ross and I’m not talkin bout Rick
Volkova laid him out cuz she thicc
The puck flies toward the goal
The red light goes on
The celly is lit, the horn sounds off
The Jets just punched the Toon in the mouf

Gib tpe pls



TASK 5
- Which player on either team is most deserving of winning a championship?
I think that Gary Grease is most deserving of winning the Challenge Cup because he took over managing that team during a bit of a transitional time and got them right back into the position that they needed to be to contend for the Challenge Cup immediately after an immensely disappointing season.


- What young player has a chance to make a name for themself in this series?
Same answer as above. I think Gary Grease has the ability to really make a statement during this finals series as a contributing, young defenseman who will be an impact player for seasons to come. He’s going to be on arguably the favorite, as the Winnipeg Jets won the Presidents Trophy this season.

- Who is the favorite and who is the underdog of this series and why?
I believe that the Winnipeg Jets are the favorite simply because of their seeding and the fact that the West was significantly stronger than the East this season. They had to dispatch a tough Calgary Dragons and sneaky difficult Los Angeles Panthers squad. I am not so sure I’d say West Kendall’s path was quite as difficult.


TASK 6
[Image: HRyws5O.png]
This is Soar, the Jets and Platoon mascot. Soar has two mock "engines" on his wings that make a roaring sound as he runs throughout the concourse, delighting fans. He also has feathers all over his head, representing the eagle of the Platoon's logo.

Task 7
[Image: bc3lEk1.png]

Task 9
I went out to the dollar tree right before the game outside of the arena and picked up a black wig. They were told they were getting Katy Perry, so I am going to do my best to give them Katy Perry. I borrowed my fiance’s lip stick, bright pink, slid into a revealing dress and prepared my voice. It was go time. The lights went up and it was go time.
I dropped from the rafters via rope and pulley, and belted out my best impersonation of “California Gurls”.
“I know a place
Where the grass is really greener
Warm, wet and wild
There must be something in the water
Sippin' gin and juice
Laying underneath the palm trees (undone)
The boys break their necks
Tryna creep a little sneak peek (at us)”
In my opinion, no one ever really noticed. People look different on TV and on the internet than what they do in real life. Hopefully the full beard and tattoos didn’t make them realize that I wasn’t in fact, Katy Perry. The day was saved!


BONUS QUESTION: Max Weber and Max Poulin

Aurora Aurora Aurora Aurora Aurora Aurora Aurora Aurora Aurora Aurora Aurora
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[Image: AceIn603.gif]

RIP Dangel. See you on the other side, brother




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