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***HoltzFan10*** · 10-15-2018, 11:06 AM

*90’s tv show esk intro* In-ter-views with Benjamin Blue!
Welcome to episode 7? Is it 7? Who cares anyway? Blue clearly does not. It is another episode, it is another interview. Let us see how much fun Blue has with us today.

*before the interview starts but Benjamin Blue is just sitting next to Reporter C awkwardly while browsing discord on his phone while they do the intro, he does not like this*
Reporter C: Good morning ladies and gentlemen, I am Reporter C, my name is unknown to anyone in this world, we lost my birth certificate when I was 3 months old, do not ask please. You might be asking where is Reporter B? Well, she got in a car accident and is currently in the hospital reco-
Benjamin Blue *off camera and still not looking up from his phone*: The company kidnapped her and burnt her to crisps because she accidentally expressed her own opinion on one of the reports she did, do not hide it from anyone, we all know what really happened.
*Reporter C stares into the camera in shock as she does not know what to do as the camera crew are as confused and shocked as her.
Reporter C: Uh, ok then, let us just get on with this interview yeah?
*camera pans out to include Benjamin Blue in the shot, who is still on his phone*
Benjamin Blue *very mono-emotional*: oh we are starting? Cool
*Benjamin Blue puts his phone away*
Reporter C *hesitantly*: Alright, let us start off with your recent ish trip to Germany, how was it? How was the land? How were the people? How was-
Benjamin Blue: Alright, enough questions, I did not commit a crime here. So, the plane trip was long and not so good, I’m never flying American again! They tried to kicked me out of my seat! So sad. But the time I was in Germany was great. The first thing I did was go to Auschwitz, as some of you may know, I’m Jewish so I went to pay my respects and to make sure I know as much about the event as I could. After, I went to the great city of Berlin, one of the most famous tourist cities in Germany. I visited the wall, and went to many bars and signed some really messed up stuff. One guy came up to me on my 5th bar and gave me a toaster to sign, I was not thinking straight, so I did. After, someone gave me a goddamn door handle, and the guy after him gave me a door without the handle. I was very confused. That bar with those people was especially chilly though, it was almost like the door was open after I signed some stuff. After, the next day, on my 26th bar, I think, don’t ask, I vaguely remember dipping my finger in my vodka mix, and writing my signature on a forehead of someone’s newborn with the vodka mix. Don’t ask me about it, I don’t remember it. After I woke up the next day I decided that that would be it for drinking at bars. Luckily, this was a few weeks before the IIHF/WJC so it didn’t affect my play. After, I took a nice day off and just went out to talk to fans and such.
Reporter C: That’s great! Can you tell more abou-
Benjamin Blue: “The fans were really nice,” (in the background Reporter C finishes her sentence with “t the tournament…”) “They were all smiles, one or two haters but what you gonna do about em amiright? But I signed some jerseys, shirts, hats, etc., there were actually more Armada jerseys than Knight and Germany jerseys combined, which was a nice thing to see. Let’s fast forward to the tournament, which went how it went, but I won’t talk about it to preserve the salt for next year.
Reporter C: How nice of you… I’m glad they will be very happy to hear that...
Benjamin Blue: yeah me too
Reporter C: Alright, next, how do you feel about leaving the SMJHL and starting to play in the SHL for the Seattle Riot?
Benjamin Blue: Well, I’m excited. Very excited. The Riot are a very young and good team, led by GM of the year, I’m calling it, Samee. They made the playoffs this past season, and I think they’re gonna go all the way. But, I feel like they’re lacking a star backup, and I’m there to fill that hole. With the addition of me, and the players still growing, I think that we will make the playoffs again, and dare I say, win the entire division.
Reporter C: Alright, next question… do you think you’re gonna win the GOTY award again?
Benjamin Blue: Of course! I had a .901 save percentage, which was the highest in the league, and I played on the worst team in the league that year. I think I’m very worthy of winning. My goals against average was 3rd in the league at 2.66, had 3 shutouts, led the league in minutes played, shots faced, and saves made. I think I’m far better than Johannes Leitner in this very clear race, that I will win.
Reporter C: Self centered much?...
Benjamin Blue: No, I’m just confident. So is this over? I got a game to play with my team and they’re waiting…
Reporter C: What- no we just started.
Benjamin Blue: Alright thanks guys, have a great day.
*Benjamin Blue just leaves in silence as the crew doesn’t know what to do*
Reporter C: uhhhhhhhh. I guess that’s the end?
*episode just stops there*

(words: 977, I think)

StamkosFan · 10-15-2018, 11:08 AM

Lol, nice article. Good luck in the SHL!

***HoltzFan10*** · 10-23-2018, 09:02 AM

This is ready to be graded btw

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