Give me all your money

Do you want the keys to my house so you can fuck my wife too?

please

Give me all your money

Do you want the keys to my house so you can fuck my wife too?

You say that like you don't already do that with everyone else

Credit to Copenhagen, Wasty, FlappyGiraffe, InciteHysteria, and caltroit_red_flames
  



Mikhail Lokitonov | RW | TOR/LAP/AUT | TPE: Retired Peak: 2018
Name: Mikhail Lokitonov
Age: 26
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 170
Number: 10
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions
S38 Picked 15th overall by the Prince George Firebirds
S38 Signed $3.0m contract with PGF
S39 Picked 6th overall by the Toronto North Stars
S39 Signed 3-year $7m contract with TOR
S40 Traded to KEL (Only for Nour's sake)
S41 Signed 3-year $9m contract extension with TOR
S44 Signed 3-year $9m contract extension with TOR
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Career Stats:
S38 PGF | 50 GP | 10 G | 16 A | 26 P | 7 PPP | 12.50 SHT% | +4
S39 PGF | 50 GP | 22 G | 35  A | 57 P | 14 PPP | 11.89 SHT% | +36
S40 KEL | 50 GP |  15 G | 21 A | 35 P | 11 PPP | 11.11 SHT% | +4
Total | 150 GP | 47 G | 72 A | 119 P | +44
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Career Playoff Stats:
S38 PGF | 14 GP | 0 G | 1 A | 1 P | -2
S39 PGF | 12 GP | 2 G | 4 A | 6 P | -1
S40 KEL | 10 GP | 6 G |  7 A | 13 P | +2
Total | 36 GP | 8 G |  12 A | 20 P | -1
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Regular Season Stats
S41 TOR | 50 GP |  12 G | 11 A | 23 P | 4 PPP | 13.04%  SHT% | -9
S42 TOR | 50 GP |  22 G | 21 A | 43 P | 11 PPP | 12.22%  SHT% | -1
S43 TOR | 50 GP |  12 G | 22 A | 34 P | 6 PPP | 5.83%  SHT% | 2
S44 TOR | 50 GP |  16 G | 23 A | 39 P | 6 PPP | 8.04%  SHT% | 10
S45 TOR | 50 GP |  20 G | 26 A | 46 P | 14 PPP | 9.48%  SHT% | -5
S46 TOR | 50 GP |  14 G | 30 A | 46 P | 14 PPP | 7.37%  SHT% | 0
S47 TOR | 50 GP |  21 G | 40 A | 61 P | 10 PPP | 10.14%  SHT% | 1
S48 TOR | 50 GP |  21 G | 33 A | 54 P | 10 PPP | 11.93%  SHT% | 19
Total | 400GP | 138 G | 206 A | 344 P | 1473 SHT | 9.37% SHT% | 17
--------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Playoff Stats
S44 TOR | 7 GP |  1 G | 3 A | 4 P | 0 PPP | 4.00%  SHT% | 1
S45 TOR | 5 GP |  0 G | 2 A | 2 P | 0 PPP | 0.00%  SHT% | 1
Total | 12 GP | 1 G | 5 A | 6 P | 31 SHT| 3.23% SHT% | 2
--------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Career Stats:
S39 | 11 GP | 1 G | 0 A | 1 P | 25.00% | -2
S40 | 13 GP | 1 G | 0 A | 1 P | 25.00% | -1
S41 | 10 GP | 1 G | 5 A | 6 P | 4.35% | 1
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Career Achievements:
S38 Finished 2nd in S38 SMJHL Rookie Scoring (26P)
S38 Finished 1st (Tied) in S38 SMJHL Rookie Goal Scoring (10 G)
S38 FOUR STAR CUP CHAMP
S38 Esa Anrikkanen Award Winner (Rookie of The Year)
S38 Elias Armia Trophy Winner (The "Storm Likes Me Best" Award)
S39 Ron Bolt Trophy Winner (Best Sportsmanship)
S40 Four Star Cup
S42 Aiden Richan Trophy Winner (Breakout Star)
S43 100 Career Points
S43 IIHF Bronze Medal
S45 IIHF Bronze Medal
S46 200 Career Points
S47 100 Career Goals
S47 IIHF Bronze Medal


Axel Meszaros | D | STL/TOR | TPE: 901
Name: Axel Meszaros
Age: 21
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 198
Number: 2
------------------------------------------------------------
Transactions
Drafted 8th overall to the St. Louis Scarecrows
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Career Stats:
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Career Playoff Stats:
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Regular Season Stats
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Playoff Stats
------------------------------------------------------------
Career Achievements:


Robert Lokitonov | Head GM | Toronto North Stars
Name: Robert Lokitonov
Age: 48
Height: 5’11”
Weight: 200 lbs
------------------------------------------------------------
Season Record
ANC S40 9 W | 36 L | 5 OTL | 23 Points | Finished 8th | Missed Playoffs
ANC S41 23 W | 25 L | 2 OTL | 48 Points | Finished 7th| Missed Playoffs
ANC S42 23 W | 22 L | 5 OTL | 51 Points | Finished 4th | Lost in Semis to KEL
ANC S43 19 W | 29 L | 2 OTL | 40 Points | Finished 8th | Missed Playoffs
TOR S44 33 W | 15 L | 2 OTL | 68 Points | Finished 1st East (2nd Overall) | Eliminated 1st Round in 7
TOR S45 24 W | 22 L | 4 OTL | 52 Points | Finished 4th East (8th Overall) | Eliminated 1st Round in 4
TOR S46 29 W | 18 L | 3 OTL | 61 Points | Finished 3rd East (3rd Overall) | Eliminated 1st Round in 7
TOR S47 28 W | 20 L | 2 OTL | 58 Points | Finished 3rd East (6th Overall) | Eliminated 1st Round in 6
------------------------------------------------------------
Career Acomplishments
S39 Named Co-GM of PGF
S42 Named Head GM of PGF
S42 Team moved to Anchorage
S44 Named Toronto Co-GM

Link to part 2 for anyone that's interested

[img=0x0]https://i.imgur.com/rWt4AB3.png[/img]
     Maxime Bouchard   |-|   RW   |-|   ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ιοο̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]     
                              S50 Challenge Cup Champion                               S53 Richan Trophy Winner[/align]

                              S49 Presidents Cup

                              S47 Jesster Trophy Winner

    DRINK DILK                      (づ ￣ ³￣)づ                      ⓈⓂⓄⓄⓉⒽ

   █▬█ █▄█ █▬█ █▄█ █▬█ █▄█ █▬█ █▄█ █▬█ █▄█ █▬█ █▄█   

[img=0x0]https://i.imgur.com/rWt4AB3.png[/img]

Maxime Bouchard

 Info - Updates  

Richard Dickbutt McFudderdudder II

 Info - Updates 

Awesome read!

|| [S45] || Hiro Fujikawa || Los Angeles || RW || #88 || 1313 TPE ||
NAME: Hiro Fujikawa
HEIGHT: 6"2"
WEIGHT: 200
NUMBER: 88
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL REGULAR SEASON STATISTICS
S48 - LAP - GP: 50  | G: 10  | A: 11  | P: 21  | PIM: - 10 | HIT: - 50 | +/-: -14 |
S49 - LAP - GP: 50  | G: 15 | A: 11  | P: 26  | PIM: - 10 | HIT: - 39 | +/-: -3 |
S50 - LAP - GP: 50  | G: 16 | A: 24  | P: 40  | PIM: - 24 | HIT: - 61 | +/-: +7 |
S51 - LAP - GP: 50  | G: 10  | A: 25  | P: 35  | PIM: - 11 | HIT: - 22 | +/-: +16 |

------------------------------------------------------------

SHL PLAYOFF STATISTICS
- GP: - x | G: - x | A: - x | P: - x | PIM: - x | +/-: x

Career SHL
Regular -  GP: - 200 | G: - 51 | A: - 71 | P: - 122 | PIM: 55  | +/-: +6  | HIT: - 172 |
Playoffs -  GP: -  | G: -  | A: -  | P: -  | PIM: -   | +/-:  | HIT: -  |

------------------------------------------------------------

SMJHL REGULAR SEASON STATISTICS
S?? - ?- GP: -  | G: -  | A: -  | P: -  | PIM: -  | HIT: -  | +/-:  |

SMJHL PLAYOFF STATISTICS
- GP: -  | G: -  | A: -  | P: -  | PIM: -  | +/: - -

------------------------------------------------------------

Career SMJHL
Regular -  GP: -  | G: -  | A: -  | P: -  | PIM: 6   | +/-: -11  | HIT: -  |
Playoffs -  GP: -  | G: -  | A: -  | P: -  | PIM: -   | +/-:  | HIT: -  |

------------------------------------------------------------
AWARDS/ACHIEVEMENTS
N/A

------------------------------------------------------------
BANK BALANCE: 15 M
TPE: 1313
<pbl>------------------------------------------------------------[/pbl]

|| Fujikawa Player Page || Update Page ||


|| Magnus Jakobsen|| Retired - HoF || RW || #83 || XXX TPE ||
NAME: Magnus Jakobsen
HEIGHT: 6"2"
WEIGHT: 220
NUMBER: 83
------------------------------------------------------------
Career Regular Season Stats:
GP: 624 | G: 208 | A: 270 | P: 478 | +/-: +48 | PIM: 432 | HIT: 1325 | SB: 107

------------------------------------------------------------

Career SMJHL
Regular -  GP: -  | G: -  | A: -  | P: -  | PIM: 6   | +/-: -11  | HIT: -  |
Playoffs -  GP: -  | G: -  | A: -  | P: -  | PIM: -   | +/-:  | HIT: -  |

------------------------------------------------------------
AWARDS/ACHIEVEMENTS
Career Awards:
3x 1st All-Star Team (S21, S23, S27)
1x 3rd All-Star Team (S30)
1x Ron Mexico Trophy (S23)
1x Sergei Karpotsov Trophy (S23)
2x Jay McDonald Trophy (S21, S23)
Aidan Richan Trophy (S20)

------------------------------------------------------------
<pbl>------------------------------------------------------------[/pbl]


|| Elias Lindstrom || Retired || RW || #89 || XXX TPE ||
NAME: Elias Lindstrom
HEIGHT: 6"2"
WEIGHT: 200
NUMBER: 89
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL REGULAR SEASON STATISTICS
S? - ??? - GP: 0  | G: 0  | A: 0  | P: 0  | PIM: -  | HIT: -  | +/-:  |


[pbl]SHL PLAYOFF STATISTICS
- GP: -  | G: -  | A: -  | P: -  | PIM: -  | +/: - -

------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL REGULAR SEASON STATISTICS
S?? - ?- GP: -  | G: -  | A: -  | P: -  | PIM: -  | HIT: -  | +/-:  |

SMJHL PLAYOFF STATISTICS
- GP: -  | G: -  | A: -  | P: -  | PIM: -  | +/: - -

------------------------------------------------------------

Career SMJHL
Regular -  GP: -  | G: -  | A: -  | P: -  | PIM: 6   | +/-: -11  | HIT: -  |
Playoffs -  GP: -  | G: -  | A: -  | P: -  | PIM: -   | +/-:  | HIT: -  |

------------------------------------------------------------
AWARDS/ACHIEVEMENTS
N/A

------------------------------------------------------------
<pbl>------------------------------------------------------------[/pbl]