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SMJHL draft grudge match, WCW style, a draft article
#1
(This post was last modified: 02-21-2019, 08:39 PM by BarnabasCollins.)

JR: Good evening everybody this is good ole JR Jim Ross with Jerry the King Lawler getting ready for a special SHL/SMJHL grudge match. We’re coming to you live from the Capital One arena in Washington DC for tonight’s bout between the team of Walter Hobbs and Esa Parmborg against the team of Kata Vilde and Marc Hagan. There’s a lot of bad blood between these four men King.

King: That’s right JR, Hobbs and Vilde have had a thing going all the way back to the SMJHL where the brawled in the finals of the 4-star cup. These guys just plain don’t like each other JR. Any idea what set this off?

JR: Well King it apparently has to do with the last SMJHL draft. Apparently, Hobbs is touting Parmborg as the greatest center to ever enter the league. Vilde took exception to that and called the 7-foot 350 lb. Parmborg and I quote “a fat gelatinous blob on skates”. Vilde went on to say that the true class of the SMJHL rookie centers is none other than Marc Hagan who was taken by Montreal.

King: Hahaha a gelatinous blob, this aint gonna be pretty JR.

JR: Apparently Hobbs was so incensed that he threw out a challenge to Vilde for this match. Vilde accepted with one stipulation. That it has to be an old school WCW style no disqualification match where the wrestlers have to wear the colors of a former WCW wrestler and whoever scores the pin fall will become the new SHL heavyweight wrestling champion. Apparently, he wished to honor his father the late great Randy Savage if he was going to step into the ring. Hobbs agreed to the stipulation so here we are King. Let’s get to the ring and Michael Buffer for the introductions.



Buffer:


Buffer: Introducing first representing the Halifax Raider organization the big man himself, Esa Parmborg!
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and his tag team partner Walter Hobbs!

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And representing the Montreal Militia organization, Marc Hagan!

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And his tag team partner, son of the Macho Man Randy Savage, Kata Vilde!
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JR: OK King they’re ready to square off in the ring and it looks like it’s gonna be Hobbs and Vilde to start things off. Vilde has been waiting a long time to get his hands on Hobbs King.

King: I heard he’s looking to make Hobbs hobble out of this arena tonight JR.

JR: Be that as it may there is without a doubt history between these two individuals. Vilde goes in to tie up and Hobbs steps away shaking his head no and laughing. He tags in the big monster Parmborg. Vilde charges at Parmborg but the big man just tosses him away like a rag doll. Vilde gets up and charges in again but he’s met in a huge bearhug by the big man. Vilde is screaming in pain as he tries to get out from the grasp of the big monster. He claps his hands against Parmborg’s ears and the big man lets go. Vilde on his knees delivers a low blow uppercut to the lower abdominal area of the Parmborg and Parmborg is staggered. Vilde launches off the ropes and tries a clothesline but Parmborg stays on his feet. He tries another clothesline and this time the big man goes down but right on top of Vilde. Commissioner Nobody starts to count and Hagan comes in and pulls Parmborg off to save the match. Nobody admonishes Hagan to stay in his corner and while his back is turned Hobbs jumps into the ring and starts stomping a mudhole on to the semi-conscious Vilde. He gets back out as Nobody looks to see what was going on. Parmborg lurches to his feet and tags in Hobbs. Hobbs going to work now on Vilde with a series of boots to the head. Vilde looks like he’s out of it King.

King: He needs to make a tag somehow JR or this match is going to be over real quick.

JR: Looks like Hobbs is going for the Razor’s Edge for the victory.

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He nails it and goes for the count and Vilde just barely kicks out. Hobbs with a series of elbow drops and covers but once again Vilde kicks out. That Vilde is tougher than a government mule King.

King: He’s gonna look like an ass too if he loses this match JR hahahaha

JR: Very funny King. Hobbs tags in the big Parmborg and he picks Vilde up by the throat and tosses him into his corner. Why would he do that King! Oh look, he’s pointing at Hagan. I guess he wants to show who the better center really is and is calling for Hagan to get into the ring. Hagan tags a semi-conscious Vilde and heads into the ring. Collar and elbow hookup and everyone can see just how much larger the Parmborg is. I don’t know if Hagan will have an answer for the big man’s power King. Parmborg with a big hip toss as Hagan flies across the ring. Oh mah gawd what is Hagan doing King?

King: Looks like he’s grabbed his baseball bat JR to maybe knock the big man down to size!

JR: He has indeed got a baseball bat King. Parmborg tries to back away but Hagan slams him in the knee with the bat. The big fella is down on one knee and Hagan blasts the other knee and the big monster is down. Hagan jumps on his back and applies a sleeper hold on the Parmborg hoping to wear him down. Parmborg flails around wildly but he is fading, Nobody raises his hand once and it falls. He raises it a second time and it falls again. As he goes to raise it for the final time Hobbs comes in and nails Hagan from behind with a double axe handle. Hagan breaks the hold and rushes Hobbs who slides out of the ring. Hobbs is running around the ring to get away from Hagan and he runs right into a huge clothesline from Vilde. Vilde starts stomping on Hobbs as Hagan goes back into the ring. Parmborg is still down and Hagan goes for the cover. Parmborg kicks out and throws Hagan halfway across the ring in the process. The big man somehow staggers to his feet but he’s looking pretty winded King.

King: No wonder he’s winded JR, I heard he ate a dozen chicken parms just before the match in the locker room. Apparently Vilde knew these were the big man’s weakness and he had catering specifically have these out on the pregame meal spread. That Vilde is one devious man JR.

JR: You’re right King, Vilde is crazy like a fox. He’s still whaling away on Hobbs on the outside of the ring. Parmborg turns around to tag his partner who is nowhere to be found and takes another bat shot to the back of the knee. Parmborg is really hurting right now but Hagan has to get him in the middle of the ring to try and pin him. He grabs Parmborg and pulls him into the middle of the ring. Looks like he’s going for the Scorpion Death Drop to end it right here King.
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He drills Parmborg and goes for the cover but Hobbs somehow gets back in the ring to break it up. Hobbs is dazed from the beating he took from Vilde on the outside but he manages to make it to his corner. Hagan goes over to tag Vilde as the Parmborg lies in the middle of the ring.  Looks like Vilde is going up top King to try and end this!

King: If he hits this JR it could be over!

JR: Here he goes King

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Oh mah gawd King did you see that? What in the hell was that?

King: It looks like Vilde hit him in the stomach JR and all those parms the monster ate just came back out! That’s nasty, there’s sauce and chunks of parm all over the ring! That has got to be the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen in a ring JR.

JR: Looks like the ref Nobody took the brunt of it King as his shirt is now nothing but a crimson mess. Hobbs is staring into the ring in disbelief. Vilde goes to tag in Hagan but Hagan wants no part of the mess in the ring. He’s laughing at Vilde and saying you finish this mess.  Vilde shrugs and goes into the corner, grabs Hobbs by the hair and tosses him into the ring. He lands a series of big rights and now a quick left and Hobbs goes down. Vilde picks up Hobbs and slams him on top of the still sickened Parmborg. Are you kidding me King?

King: He’s gonna do it again! I can’t watch!

JR: Vilde goes to the top and once more leaps, this time onto Hobbs body lying on top of his partner. He landed with a sickening thud, I’m not quite sure if Parmborg’s gut gave more surprises out but neither man is moving. Vilde goes over to tag in Hagan. Hagan comes in and drops a big splash on to the pile that is the Raiders organization. Nobody grudgingly counts the 1,2,3. And the winners of the match are Vilde and Hagan and Hagan becomes the new SHL heavyweight champion. That’s it for tonight folks, it was a real slobber knocker and I’m sure we haven’t seen the end of this feud yet. For Jerry the King Lawler, this is Jim Ross saying good night everybody.



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#2

I have to say seeing someone named King and someone named JR talking to each other really threw me off here.

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#3

Hahahahahahaha... Another @BarnabasCollins special. Love it....so what are we now, 1-1 lol

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#4

#rip parmborg
The Vilde/hagan tandom is tough!
Fun read Laughing

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#5
(This post was last modified: 02-22-2019, 02:47 PM by Steelhead77.)

Laughing Laughing Laughing

Hilarious match! I love these LOL!!!

“A fat gelatinous blob”

Hagan fighting dirty wit that bat.. there will be retribution!

Parmborg and Hobbs will have their revenge!!!

<3 The part with Parmborg puking up parms lol

Towel

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#6
(This post was last modified: 02-22-2019, 03:48 PM by Thunfish.)

Should've called it WWF, King wasn't in WCW IIRC. Otherwise, really great.

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