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Samsung virtual assistant · 02-25-2019, 06:38 PM

Coming into the Kelowna Knights training camp, Alexander wasn't sure what he would expect. Sure he has been to training camps before but nothing in a professional league in north america. He arrived and was instantly greeted by somebody putting on Ariana Grande to welcome him with. Ariana Grande ofcourse being the mother of Alexander. But joke's on them because Alexander actually loves his mothers music. The rest of the camp Alexander would be the one to start blasting the Ariana Grande songs in the lockerroom. The funniest moment of the camp was probably on one of the last days of the camp. Everyone had bonded fairly well and as every other day Alexander started blasting some music from Ariana Grandes newest album. "Thank u, next" came on and Alex was dancing around the lockerroom and made gestures to everyone who didn't score on him, THANK U. NEXT. People were getting annoyed but just as the song was coming on Ariana herself came into the lockerroom, ofcourse after making sure that everyone was dressed. Everyone was shocked AF but i had a fun time.

**bbjygm** · 02-25-2019, 07:37 PM

Training camp was great! I got to know my fellow rookies better: Martijn Westbroek, Gunnar Petrov, and Corey Kennedy. It's too bad Seemu Telanne and Gustav Steen couldn't make it when we went. During one of the morning drill sessions, @Wibbly McButternutz must have still been drunk from the previous night and sleep deprived because he decided to show off his wibbly butternuts to everyone on the rink. I wouldn't have minded so much if he hadn't skated around trying to hand them to others. It's too bad that slap shot missed by several inches. I don't recall who shot it, and I wouldn't rat him out if I knew. I can only say that it was a good thing they were in training camp because they needed to improve their aim! All in all, the camp was grueling and memorable, and a good start for our team's rookies and a hockey season in general!

JNH · 02-25-2019, 11:31 PM

Martijn Westbroek steps up to the mics as the reporters gather around his locker to speak on his first preseason and training camp in the SMJHL

Interview

Can we get an amusing story from you about training camp?

Martijn Wrote:You guys want an amusing story from training camp eh... How about the shape that half of our team showed up for training camp in? Half of them showed up looking like they never missed a beat and were fresh. Then the other half either looked like they hadn't trained whatsoever over the summer and had just been sucking back Molson Exports on the beach or they had been training and working hard but it had done nothing to improve their skills. No wonder we played like shit to start the preseason. As coach got us back in shape you could see that we started to pick it up but we're gonna need something better than that. It was honestly pathetic and not a great thing to see, but our coaches and managers seem to know how to get everyone motivated and that's what the preseason is for I guess. Oh, that's not what you had in mind? Well I also gave @SDCore a swirly and he loved it, so how's that? Still not good enough? Too bad, you guys can fuck off and that's why I make the big bucks and you don't.

With that, Martijn left the press scrum and headed off into the night in Anaheim.

Hanson94 · 02-26-2019, 12:01 AM

Not going to lie, first day of training camp in Anaheim was tough. Mainly because of the killer hangover from the day before. Spent my day with mickey at disneyland. By mickey I mean mickey of Russian vodka. Russian vodka is best but that's story for another day. So yeah I arrive at camp the day after celebrating my selection to Anaheim and still wearing mickey mouse ears on my head and smell of vodka and cigarettes on my gucci tracksuit. I feel like I may have left the coach with bad taste especially after the bag skate where I puked all over centre ice. There are a couple Swede's in the locker room which is cool but I see no Russians. I don't understand why not but maybe once they see start seeing me snipe then coach will like me more and maybe want more Russian like me in the lineup.

***CampinKiller*** · 02-26-2019, 01:48 PM

Making it to the SMJHL was never really a question of "if" for Marc, but "when." He's played AAA hockey since he was old enough for it to be a division for his age group, and he's experienced his fair share of hazing. When he joined the Midget Minor team in Dallas, he was put through a 12-round locker box. When he walked into training camp, he steeled himself for something just as painful.

He walked into the locker room at Bell Center, to find the lights off. He figured he had just intentionally been told the wrong time to show up, a classic move. He found the switch by the door and saw his fellow rookies, Henry Morris IV and Dirk Von Grimmelshausen, tied to chairs, bags over their heads. An empty third sat in the middle. He tried to back out, but quickly found himself jumped on by three of his teammates. They tied him down, and put a bag over his head. After only a few minutes, a projector had been wheeled out, and the bags were removed. The poor rookies were then forced to watch Twilight, in full. Tragic.

BDonini · 02-26-2019, 02:38 PM

Sacha Selman had just arrived to camp on his first day as an Anaheim Outlaw after signing as a free agent when he saw the state of panic that his new teammates were in. Wanting to get off on the right foot with his new teammates, Sacha asked the group what the panic was about. The team's star rookie centre Martijn Westbroek pulled Sacha aside and explained to him that GM Dangles informed them that league reps would be coming by today to perform mandatory urine tests on everybody. Martijn explained that SMJHL rules prohibited players from consuming drugs or alcohol and the entire team had been drinking last night at NHL player Rickard Rakell's loft party.

Sacha laughed off the players' worried and told them that he had the perfect solution. Everybody on the team would undergo an oil change. After seeing the blank stares on his teammates' faces, Sacha stripped naked and demonstrated the three simple steps of an oil change:

Step 1: Disinfect the tip of your penis
Step 2: Insert a lubricated tube into your penis and push all the way to your bladder allowing your urine to empty out
Step 3: Take a syringe full of clean urine and fill your bladder with it by injecting it through the tube

After a bit of resistance from his teammates, Sacha managed to convince everyone that an oil change was the only way for the whole team to pass their drug tests and so everyone went along and performed an oil change on themselves. When the whole team passed their drug tests later that day, Sacha was hailed as a hero and instantly became liked by his new teammates.

MiniMan561 · 02-26-2019, 03:54 PM

The first thing I did upon reaching training camp was thank my friend and GM of the Vancouver Whalers, Luke, for signing me. After that, I went around and introduced myself to everyone else. I wanted to give everybody a good first impression and potentially avoid rookie hazing, so I brought everyone Tim Hortons. After everyone finished their drinks, I started asking my new teammates questions. Being the musically inclined person I am, I went to my go-to question of "What is your favorite band?" I feel like you can figure out a lot about a person based on their music taste. I got a lot of varied answers, and of course, a lot of Mr. Crowley and Ozzy Osbourne jokes. I then started asking people what they did outside of hockey. I talked about how I play the bass and write songs for my band (We do not have a name stop asking)

Thranduil · 02-26-2019, 09:16 PM

When Swedish forward, Ender Zavala got off the plain in Halifax on his way to Raiders training camp, he never anticipated the arena being so hard to find. He couldn't read any of the signs and had no way of communicating with anyone. He spent the first hour and a half, standing around and calling out in Swedish, but other than a lot of stares, this got him nothing. Zavala, being the bright light that he is, tried to sneak back on the plane that he'd arrived in. He didn't get far. Security discovered Zavala trying to sneak into the luggage compartment of the plain and immediately took him to customs, where he was searched and tested for drugs. The security guards wanted to know where Zavala was headed, but Zavala obviously couldn't tell them and even if he could have, I doubt he would have known any more than the security.
Eventually the guards realized that Zavala was harmless and had a passport, so there wasn't much they could do to prevent him from going on his way. Zavala decided that he was going to try to find the arena and after multiple attempts, eventually found a door to the outside world. Unlucky for him, this door led onto the runway. All of a sudden the place was in panic and police were on the scene in a few seconds. They tackled Zavala, tasered him and brought him back to the station where they held him in a cell. After a few days, a man arrived who claimed to know Zavala. It was his agent, Bill Mucker and Bill was not happy. Zavala had missed the first three days of camp and the Halifax franchise had to pay the $1000 bail to get him out of jail.
Zavala was rushed to camp without another word and as soon as he arrived, the coaches made him do 50 laps of the rink. His teammates were all staring at him like he was from another planet and by the end of, Zavala still had no idea he'd done anything wrong. The Raiders forced him to work on his English over the off-season and we finally got a chance to interview this lost sole.

"So... Ender... How did the coaches react after you got arrested on your first day in the country?"

"That wow the pop Eaha and defile my flower, Terah are, No a to free oh see your rave, that is I your guess Reira Oaoa Api and it Ratou me and you Roberts can Theda. Is Ra, Manao to take you."

"Uhhh… Ok... How are you getting along with your teammates so far?"

"Teammates vlemusha, ach jehvid. Mus chah seh chah coach neh rur chah. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"...Thanks for the interview man."

"Nil."

MCP_ · 02-26-2019, 11:18 PM

Whoops wrong one plz ignore

*Otrebor13* · 02-27-2019, 12:05 AM

Joining the SMJHL isn't always easy, and Theo Morgan learnt that the hard way. Morgan became eligible to play in the SMJHL just a few days ago, days after the SMJHL had taken place. With the current draft class, teams were already set for the season to begin. Preseason games had taken place, teams were tinkering with their lines, and then there was Theo Morgan, looking for a team to play for. With the preseason coming to a close, Morgan was able to get himself a few tryouts with different teams. However it may not have gone according to plan.

Morgan got a call that he would be trying out with the Vancouver Whalers. Filled with both excitement and nerves, Morgan frantically got to the rink where he was able to meet some of the guys as well as management. All was going well, until it came time to step on to the ice. Morgan follows the guys out there, steps one foot on to the ice and BAM, complete wipe-out. Immediately he tried to get to his feet and once again fell flat on his face. He looks down and sees the culprit: he forgot to remove his skate guards. A juvenile mistake made by children, made in front of his now teammates. Never once has that happened, and it just so happened to occur at a time that he was trying his hardest to make a great impression.

While it did not matter in the end, as the Whalers offered Morgan a contract, it is something that he will get made fun of about every time he's going to step foot on the ice.

vbottas17 · 02-27-2019, 09:53 PM

Thomas Bathory really had no idea where he was going. Once he received the news that he was drafted to the Lethbridge Lions he was very excited. You see Thomaa thought be was headed to the bright lights of Toronto as he assumed that Lethbridge was a suburb of the major metropolis. Once he arrived he realized that wasnt the case. Bathory was a hell of a lot closer to the great wilderness of Montana than Toronto. All for the best though, now Thomas can focus on hockey and make sure that he is ready to join the Los Angeles Panthers in the SHL one day soon. The Lions teammates have been great. Monkey D. Luffy had a bit of fun with the rookie sending him out for in n out cheeseburgers. Bathory had no idea that there were no in n outs to be found in Canada and spent 4 hours driving around Lethbridge searching for one. The team has been great to Thomas and made him feel comfortable right from the day he arrived.

Taxman100 · 02-27-2019, 10:32 PM

It was just another training day, as usual, skates were carved into the ice, pucks were flying and Gatorade was handed out and drunken. Just a normal training day... Until talk from both sides of the practice team started reaching out to the starters, a game they said, a game that could build everyone's endurance and hitting which was come up with on spot by one of the benched defensemen and the name of this game was... Mob Hockey.

It was a very simple and strightforward game. One guy gets the Puck and tries to score, but there are 5-6 other players on the ice who each are trying to get their sticks on the puck and knock down the guy with it to get their chance.
So it started out as a simple and fair survivor game only to later on, devolve into chaos when it's figured out that there are no rules and you can just do whatever, so lots of illegal shit went down, tripping, ramming into goalies on purpose, hell, I think someone even got double team slammed so hard into the glass that they flipped on the other side into the broken glass.

Eventually, the chaos would end when the coach would end up calling the game off. This would lead to some disciplinary action going down in some of the players but none of it was too severe other than either a one-game benching in the preseason. But one thing was known for sure... Mob Hockey is now banned from being played in Montreal's Training Rink.

PeanutButter · 02-27-2019, 11:38 PM

Starting my career with the Lethbridge Lions has been weird, since I talked a lot of crap about them in my first media piece. The rookies with me gave me some ribbing and definitely made sure they got their hits in during the first practice, but all the veterans were really nice. Funny enough there was a drill where you had to skate through body checks on the boards, and everyone got me really good and made sure I was bruising afterwards. They all were friendly in the locker room after it happened, and they took me out to the bar and we had a pretty wild night. The rookies all had shots ordered for them and I got special banana flavored ones to commemorate my own history as a banana farmer. Of course this is all from their stories told to me after, because I drank so much that I couldn't even remember a single aspect of that night. I will get them back later for it, though. Very unfortunate.

Serpe x 13 · 03-01-2019, 01:32 AM

It was the first day of training camp and I was walking onto the ice for my first practice in a Scarecrow jersey. As I finally get on the ice after signing some autographs for the fans, I proceed to take some shots on net. Being a rookie, I was one of the first skaters on the ice and I start to look to see who is in the crowd to watch. The first person I see is a girl that I had hooked up with in college and she was holding a sign with my face on it that said, “do you remember our one night in college”? I was in shock and my teammates were dying from laughing so hard and the worst part about all of this was that she was in the same isle as my family and friends. I guess my family finally found out why I always had a new girlfriend each week.

stud · 03-01-2019, 03:12 AM

Khan Smeb decided to spend training camp with the Chicago Syndicate. He skated and trained along side the Smebs. The Smebs decided to do a lot of skating, shooting, puck handling, and passing drills. Smeb couldn't keep up with the Syndicates but had a good training camp nonetheless. At the end of the day, Khan Smeb beat up some squirrels in a ritual to become a better hockey player. We got Khan Smeb into an interview and this is what he had to say.
"Wow it feels great to be out here and clicking buttons to upgrade my player. I like getting TPE by clicking buttons and writing stuff."
Khan Smeb also participated in a mini scrim tournament with the Syndicates. He skated for 10 scrimmage games and got 4 goals. All the goals are game winning goals. He had 63 giveaways which was the highest out of all the scrim players.

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