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Weretarantula · 03-14-2019, 09:50 AM

Bouchard's place was the scene of this month's team barbecue meetup. The whole team was invited, and everyone knew if they didn't turn up they would be the victim of horrific locker room chirping for weeks (or at least until the next barbecue). The night was a riot, and there is always too much to explain, but here are just some of the details that managed to leak out from the team.

Captain Leopold lived up to his name and came dressed up in a full pirate outfit. It seemed like odd attire given the current temperature in Anchorage was floating somewhere around -1 degrees Celsius, but everyone loved the get up regardless. It also wasn't a costume party, but I digress. Some of the theatrics that the self proclaimed "Mad Pirate of the Fleet" got up to included scaling Maxime's garden wall lattice to get on the roof to proclaim there was "Land ho!" in the distance, funneling 4 Captain Morgan and coke, and using a copper kitchen spatula to "Shake down the landlubbers who were eye'n off his booty". @ej27

Defender Sins was one of the first to arrive, being a known companion of Maxime and Larson. Despite what you might believe about his antics, he was actually more tame than most on the evening, asides from ruffling a few feathers by attempting to steal everyone's left shoe at some stage of the night. He claimed he needed them to make sure that "Everyone was all right for the rest of the evening". Larson roared with laughter at this, and promptly gave him an opportunity at a solid George W Bush impression by hurling his left boot at full pace. @LonnyBohonos16

Speaking of Larson, he is well regarded as being a jovial prankster among the locker room, and this evening was of no difference. The following is all rumoured to be true, and we have no way of proving it, but let's just saw a source close to the Armada may have had video evidence. Before Peter arrived, he messaged Bouchard to tell him not to buy any meat. Given this was on the day of the event at 6pm, there's no way the Maxime hadn't already organised this, so he knew he was up to something. 5 minutes before the party was to start, the faint sound of a large truck reversing filled the air. Going outside to see the commotion for himself, Maxime discovered Larson driving the vehicle, and to his horror, also discovered it was an animal transportation truck. Before Bouchard could stop him, Larson flicked open the rear latch, and unleashed 500 chickens on his front lawn. He fell back on the floor rolling with laughter as the chickens dispersed down the road, into the backyard, and generally wherever else chickens can get to. Maxime knew he would be hearing about this for weeks from his neighbours. Once Peter had recovered from his state of elation at the success of his prank, he went into the cab, grabbed a bottle of 30 year old Glenfiddich, and placed it in the young Canadian's hands. They both laughed and went inside, discussing the scene that would great the rest upon arrival. (Unfortunately Sins missed this as he was inside grooming himself before the other guests arrived). @Tomasnz

New guy Silber arrived very well kept and shy, having only just recently met his teammates after coming up from college. He managed to keep his nose clean for most of the night, but will most likely be remembered at this particular occasion for repeatedly calling Eko van Otter "the water ferret" and proceeding to fill up the bath tub, take a frozen fish out of Bouchard's freezer and insisting Eko "show everyone how he does it in the wild". Strange behaviour and definitely something that may or may not have been influenced by alcohol, but everyone on the team loved it. @TaktiX

Dean Colt was a late arrival to the party, having been held up at a previous engagement (it was rumoured he was at home playing Magic the Gathering with many beautiful ladies) but he compensated his tardiness with 5 bottles of Dom Perignon. He disappeared at some point during the night only to return wearing a feather boa and carrying a cat of nine tails in his back pocket. No one asked any questions though. @Mac

Olivier was originally not going to come, but changed his mind at the last minute and everyone couldn't have been happier. Why? Because growing up in France you become accustomed to having pastries. Lots and lots of pastries. So what do you think Olivier brought to the barbecue? That's right, five boxes of croissants, eclairs, madeleines, palmiers and escargot (the bread kind not the other kind). Sure, it's a barbecue, but everyone brings meat, you still gotta have dessert right? @Jenny

Speaking of meat, we haven't even covered what was on offer at the party. For example:
Karhunen brought four pounds of reindeer steaks, shipped in specifically for the occasion.
Emmerton smuggled two pounds of maple bacon across the border (heaven knows the Canadian's won't let the delicacy out of national jurisdiction).
Yoshimura brought a bucket with 4 live lobsters in it, and almost managed to insist they eat them raw before being persuaded at the nauseated faces of most of team. Sashimi isn't for everyone.
Finally Maxime himself had a spit roast brought in with half a pig which had been marinated in garlic, fennel and birch syrup, then cooked slowly for four hours. By the time it was finished and carved, a light drag of a fork across it's surface was enough to break away the flesh. Accompanied with a medley of oven roasted sweet potato, butternut pumpkin, red skin potatoes and yellow zucchini, all coated in olive oil, rosemary, garlic and honey.
@Lynxfire @lueiGi @BigTittySmitty

Without a doubt it was a spread that left everyone full, of both over indulgence and happiness. And maybe just some slight inebriation too.