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negativity
#46

(04-14-2019, 08:24 PM)grok Wrote: it's all subterfuge and pissing matches and slapfights to get an edge.  everyone is only friends when the other is paying attention.  i'm increasingly convinced there isn't a single person in the smjhl gm scene who legitimately respects anyone else when the chips are down.  not a single gm thinks the others are worth a good-faith discussion or debate about rules, decisions, trades, whatever.  everyone wants an edge and most people are willing to lie or yell or fight or throw anyone else under the bus to get it.

I have to say, I pretty strongly disagree. Sure, there's competitiveness between GMs, that kinda comes with the job. There's a difference between being competitive and being negative. From my experience, most of the SMJHL GMs are pretty good people and easy to talk to.

(04-14-2019, 08:24 PM)grok Wrote: and you better fucking believe this goes all the way to the top.  i know how gms act and ho acts behind closed doors.  i'm sure people will come out of the woodworks and say "not all gms, not all ho," but enabling the behavior that is creating this negativity feedback loop at the highest level is just as bad as doing it yourself.  how am i supposed to think this all gets better and it'll be happy and fun and that this is just a bad couple of weeks when i see people in power doing the same fucking shit every single day?  is that going to be my life if i keep managing a team?  is that going to be my life if i volunteer for ho?

I'm honestly a bit shocked to read that. I never had the impression that there is so much bad blood among the GMs. Please tell me, how HO is enabling the behaviour that's creating this negative feedback loop, so we can try to do something about it.


(04-14-2019, 08:24 PM)grok Wrote: it wasn't always like this. back in S42, S43, it was about working with my team, getting better, pushing myself to do well. pushing my teammates to do better. enjoying our interactions because of our personalities, not because of the reactions of other teams. i don't know when it changed. but it did. i'm not happy about my achievements or about trying to be the best. i'm happy when other people fail. i don't know why.

I obviously can't answer you, when or why your outlook changed, but I have the feeling that it changed more so than the overall negativity in the league. In my relatively short time on here, I've met a lot of great people and had a ton of positive interactions. That's what makes me come back every day. There definitely is still fun to be had on here. Try focusing on the good parts!

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#47

(04-15-2019, 11:09 AM)JNH Wrote:
(04-15-2019, 10:52 AM)Thunfish Wrote: I can't exactly say much (nor add to what has been said so far), what with me being fairly new to this place and whatnot but I've had lots of fun with my teammates from the Juniors and the Pride Locker Room has been pretty nice to me as well, so I can't exactly speak of anything ill that might've happened to me since... well... it kind of hasn't? That said, I think it's better to not take things too seriously around these parts, the toxic talk kinda feels like ribbing that went off the rails for me.

In all honesty, my life's been somewhat shite. Got some terrible stories in my past and so far this place hasn't been one of those. I just try to think about things lightly and life goes on, it's the closest thing to a suggestion I can really share, I guess.

ily thun <3

To quote The Divine Comedy (the one musician band, not the book), "the feeling is mutual".

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#48

As a newer member I can't say I really have any sort of ideas or suggestions for this, but I definitely know how it is.  I essentially left all social media because I found it didn't do anything more than make me angry/upset, and it was affecting my real life mood and interactions.  I actually have slowly gotten back into a few platforms and found the break did me wonders, but that is quite a different situation than this site.  It did force me to step back and reflect on why I was on social media and what I wanted to get out of it at least.  It let me sort of ignore what triggers me on the platforms (although it still happens).

I do think Tomasnz's post about the goalie chat, and bringing more people together, could help with the negativity.  I found that if I had negative feelings towards people from the site/large discords, that if I ever interacted with them in a smaller discord or one on one I tend to universally realize that I do not actually dislike the person.  We often can get insulated in the feedback loops of our locker rooms and small things can snowball that then spill out onto the forums.  Often they are small misunderstandings, but both sides are often stewing in their own zones when a short conversation would do wonders.  In the end I imagine we are all basically here for the same reason and closer interaction could help a bit?  It would be tough, but I do think like when we had the post-draft "party" a couple SHL drafts ago I got to "meet" some people and I know I changed my opinions about people.

One last thing I wanted to say was that I see a lot of people in here that I like a lot saying that they view the SHL as a negative, and that really bums me out.  I don't talk one on one to most people here, but I enjoy reading your posts a lot and it is sad to think that y'all aren't enjoying this as much as you used to.  Hopefully we can rediscover some positivity so the community can keep growing into something even better.  I'm basically always on discord (name in profile) if anyone ever needs to blow off SHL (or real life) steam.  I can't say I can offer the best advice, but I can listen and crack bad jokes if that's your thing.  I feel pretty lucky I stumbled on that reddit recruitment thread so if I can help improve the community here I would love to.

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#49
(This post was last modified: 04-15-2019, 02:01 PM by TML99.)

The world is what you make it

One love homie

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#50

(04-15-2019, 01:15 PM)TML99 Wrote: The word is what you make it

One love homie

Have fun with her, Ryan

*tosses bracelet into bush*

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#51

(04-15-2019, 01:17 PM)ligma Wrote:
(04-15-2019, 01:15 PM)TML99 Wrote: The word is what you make it

One love homie

Have fun with her, Ryan

*tosses bracelet into bush*




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#52

(04-15-2019, 01:01 PM)slothfacekilla Wrote: As a newer member I can't say I really have any sort of ideas or suggestions for this, but I definitely know how it is.  I essentially left all social media because I found it didn't do anything more than make me angry/upset, and it was affecting my real life mood and interactions.  I actually have slowly gotten back into a few platforms and found the break did me wonders, but that is quite a different situation than this site.  It did force me to step back and reflect on why I was on social media and what I wanted to get out of it at least.  It let me sort of ignore what triggers me on the platforms (although it still happens).

I do think Tomasnz's post about the goalie chat, and bringing more people together, could help with the negativity.  I found that if I had negative feelings towards people from the site/large discords, that if I ever interacted with them in a smaller discord or one on one I tend to universally realize that I do not actually dislike the person.  We often can get insulated in the feedback loops of our locker rooms and small things can snowball that then spill out onto the forums.  Often they are small misunderstandings, but both sides are often stewing in their own zones when a short conversation would do wonders.  In the end I imagine we are all basically here for the same reason and closer interaction could help a bit?  It would be tough, but I do think like when we had the post-draft "party" a couple SHL drafts ago I got to "meet" some people and I know I changed my opinions about people.

One last thing I wanted to say was that I see a lot of people in here that I like a lot saying that they view the SHL as a negative, and that really bums me out.  I don't talk one on one to most people here, but I enjoy reading your posts a lot and it is sad to think that y'all aren't enjoying this as much as you used to.  Hopefully we can rediscover some positivity so the community can keep growing into something even better.  I'm basically always on discord (name in profile) if anyone ever needs to blow off SHL (or real life) steam.  I can't say I can offer the best advice, but I can listen and crack bad jokes if that's your thing.  I feel pretty lucky I stumbled on that reddit recruitment thread so if I can help improve the community here I would love to.

we talk one on one and i hate it.
Scrub

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#53

(04-15-2019, 02:40 PM)TnlAstatine Wrote:
(04-15-2019, 01:01 PM)slothfacekilla Wrote: As a newer member I can't say I really have any sort of ideas or suggestions for this, but I definitely know how it is.  I essentially left all social media because I found it didn't do anything more than make me angry/upset, and it was affecting my real life mood and interactions.  I actually have slowly gotten back into a few platforms and found the break did me wonders, but that is quite a different situation than this site.  It did force me to step back and reflect on why I was on social media and what I wanted to get out of it at least.  It let me sort of ignore what triggers me on the platforms (although it still happens).

I do think Tomasnz's post about the goalie chat, and bringing more people together, could help with the negativity.  I found that if I had negative feelings towards people from the site/large discords, that if I ever interacted with them in a smaller discord or one on one I tend to universally realize that I do not actually dislike the person.  We often can get insulated in the feedback loops of our locker rooms and small things can snowball that then spill out onto the forums.  Often they are small misunderstandings, but both sides are often stewing in their own zones when a short conversation would do wonders.  In the end I imagine we are all basically here for the same reason and closer interaction could help a bit?  It would be tough, but I do think like when we had the post-draft "party" a couple SHL drafts ago I got to "meet" some people and I know I changed my opinions about people.

One last thing I wanted to say was that I see a lot of people in here that I like a lot saying that they view the SHL as a negative, and that really bums me out.  I don't talk one on one to most people here, but I enjoy reading your posts a lot and it is sad to think that y'all aren't enjoying this as much as you used to.  Hopefully we can rediscover some positivity so the community can keep growing into something even better.  I'm basically always on discord (name in profile) if anyone ever needs to blow off SHL (or real life) steam.  I can't say I can offer the best advice, but I can listen and crack bad jokes if that's your thing.  I feel pretty lucky I stumbled on that reddit recruitment thread so if I can help improve the community here I would love to.

we talk one on one and i hate it.
Scrub

I never claimed to be helpful, I just promise I'll try

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#54

(04-15-2019, 02:50 PM)slothfacekilla Wrote:
(04-15-2019, 02:40 PM)TnlAstatine Wrote: we talk one on one and i hate it.
Scrub

I never claimed to be helpful, I just promise I'll try

Don't worry I like you <3
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#55

(04-15-2019, 02:50 PM)slothfacekilla Wrote:
(04-15-2019, 02:40 PM)TnlAstatine Wrote: we talk one on one and i hate it.
Scrub

I never claimed to be helpful, I just promise I'll try

i need some jimmy jams

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#56

(04-15-2019, 03:07 PM)caltroit_red_flames Wrote:
(04-15-2019, 02:50 PM)slothfacekilla Wrote: I never claimed to be helpful, I just promise I'll try

Don't worry I like you <3

the feeling is mutual  Cheers

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