Ron Mexico!

"Ron what the fuck? Whose corpse is that???"

"@DrunkenTeddy was the only one with the power to hide what we've done. You are going to assume his identity."

First SHL goal on first SHL shot in first SHL game.

                  Mack Daddy - Calgary Dragons - Forward
Signed DFA contract with Colorado Raptors to finish S53
Drafted by the Colorado Raptors in S54 Draft - Round 3, 24
Drafted by the Calgary Dragons in S55 Draft - Round 2, 30
S55 WJC Gold Medal Championship
S56 SMJHL All-Star Game Winner
Called up to the Calgary Dragons to start S57
Scored 1st SHL Goal On First SHL Shot in First SHL Game

Thankfully, your time on the SHL has taught you the best way to combat this sort of life-threatening situation! You log onto the site and navigate directly to the Thunderdome! "Dude called me a nachos!" you type out angrily, one-handed, waiting for a response.

The silence waiting for replies is deafening. It's almost ... too quiet. Then, out of nowhere, he emerges:

"TOM: TOM REPORTERMAN HERE IM HERE WITH SPARKS LIGHTNING HOW YA DOIN SPARKS

SPARKS: WELL YKNOW TOM I HEARD ABOUT THESE NACHOS AND I AM SURE HUNGRY"

You're panicking -- who is this Sparks Lightning and why is he speaking in the 3rd person? Suddenly, another SHLer of old comes to your aid .... it's --

Suddenly a Nacho Cheese covered Poopity Scoop emerges from the shadows. He has... pooped his pants. He starts licking up the nacho cheese drenched all over his body and starts humming a tune...@Baelor Swift

33 words

Ron Mexico suddenly twirls his hand and you become @DrunkenTeddy!. You are shocked how easy it was but as you as you turn around you see a figure sprinting away from you and it's....

[font-size,element-width,text-color,background-color,Arial]
David Vent || Vancouver Whalers/Czechia || Defensemen
------------------------------------------------------------

                                                         
David Vent||Manhattan Rage/Kelowna Knights/Czechia||Retired

Birthplace: Czech Republic
49 Career Fights. Record 19:wins|6:losses|24:ties 
S52 Challenger Cup Champion
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Total Stats
Career(G:68|A:169|Points:260|Hits:691|SB:713)
------------------------------------------------------------
SHLTotal Playoff Stats
Career(G:9|A:30|Points:39|Hits:122|SB:116)
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Total Stats
Career(G:10|A:75|Points:85|Hits:286|SB:230)
------------------------------------------------------------
International Play           
WJC Career (G:8|A:46|Points:54|Hits:164|SB:148)
IIHF Career (G:7|A:32|Points:39|Hits:107|SB:122)
------------------------------------------------------------

Awards and Records

S59 IIHF Silver Medal
S53 Named Captain for the Manhattan Rage
S52 Challenger Cup Winner
S52 Named Assistant Captain for the Czechia IIHF Team
S50 Named Assistant Captain for the Manhattan Rage
S50 IIHF Bronze Medal
S49 Named Assistant Captain for the UCORCAL WJC Team
S48 Named Assistant Captain for the Kelowna Knights
S47 Named Captain of the Czech WJC Team
S46 WJC Gold Medal Winner
S46 Laurifier Trophy
S44 WJC Gold Medal Winner
 ------------------------------------------------------------
Records
Czech WJC Career Major Penalties: 5
Czech WJC Career Fights: 5
Czech WJC Career Fight Ties: 2
Czech WJC Career Fight Wins: 2

Ron Mexico suddenly twirls his hand and you become @DrunkenTeddy!. You are shocked how easy it was but as you as you turn around you see a figure sprinting away from you and it's....

@Pingy Pingu on his little scooter screaming "NOOT NOOT NOOT NOOT YAYAYAYAYAYA". Not unheard of, but it's still surprising that the literal transformation of a person into someone else in front of his eyes can't stop him from sending noots out into the world.

Cal Juice
Tomas Zadina
Brady McIntyre

you realize theres a rope tied to the back end of his scooter and a heap of it is unraveling in front of you. oh god. the other end is tied to your computer chair isnt it? before you can react you are jerked forward, trailing Pingy as he putts around. you werent ready for this adventure. you are at his disposal.

RETIRED: David Kastrba, Winger (S41-S60)
RETIRED: Eddie Kastrba, Defense (S60-S70)

Pingy increases his speed quickly as you hurtle around on your desk chair, gripping on for dear life, your strength eventually giving way when you tumble off the chair, rolling as your body comes to a halt at the feet of Goku Muerto

               

| LD| Chad Nickelback | #24 | Nevada Battleborn
| 5'11 | |195 lbs|
Riverview, New Brunswick
---------------------------------------
Drafted 5th overall in the S64 SHL Entry Draft by the Manhattan Rage
Drafted 7th overall in the S63 SMJHL Entry Draft by the Nevada Battleborn
Selected to play in the S64 SMJHL All-Star Game
---------------------------------------
SMJHL Career Stats
S65: 66GP | 20G | 45A | 65PTS | 16PIM | 306SOG | +/-: +40
S64: 66GP | 20G | 28A | 48PTS | 30PIM | 275SOG | +/-: +1
S63: 66GP | 9G | 27A | 36PTS | 12PIM | 140SOG | +/-: +24

---------------------------------------
SMJHL Career Playoff Stats
S65: 10GP | 3G | 2A | 7 PTS | 0PIM | 31 SOG | +/-: +1 | 11 Hits
S64: 10GP | 2G | 5A | 7PTS | 2PIM | 41SOG | +/-: +2 | 8 Hits
S63: 6GP | 1G | 1A | 2PTS | 0 PIM | 10 SOG | +/-: 0 | 8 Hits

---------------------------------------
WJC Stats
S64 (Team Canada): 0GP | 0G | 0A | 0PTS | 0PIM | 0SOG | +/-: 0 | 0 Hits
S63 (Team NA): 12GP | 2G | 3A | 5PTS | 2 PIM | 29 SOG | +/-: -5 | 14 Hits

you realize theres a rope tied to the back end of his scooter and a heap of it is unraveling in front of you. oh god. the other end is tied to your computer chair isnt it? before you can react you are jerked forward, trailing Pingy as he putts around. you werent ready for this adventure. you are at his disposal.

"NOOT NOOOT NOOOOOOTTTTT," shouts @Pingy Pingu as he scoots you around. But he is not a careful boy and actually very wreckless as he crashes and you skid across the Antarctic ice sheet.... Pingy, although wreckless, is quite agile and manages to stop both himself and you from falling into the cold ocean. But danger lurks ahead.... You can see a shark fin nearby.

Poopity Scoop
The Greatest Name of All

Ah yes, the veteran meme player. A surefire bet for maybe 400 TPE

Scoop AINEC

^^^^^ Thank you JSSSSS

^^^^Credits to Snussu^^^^

OH NO PINGY WATCH OUT!

Cal Juice
Tomas Zadina
Brady McIntyre

"GRAB THE PINTO BEANS" Pingy shouts, with urgency exploding from his lungs. O YA YA YA SHARK WATCH OUT GRAB THE PINTO BEANS LETS GET OUTTA HERE. You look around. There are no pinto beans...

thanks @Carpy48 and @frithjofr and @rum_ham and @Julio Tokolosh and @Briedaqueduc for the sigs

  

...But there are red kidney beans, the color of your mother's hair. You miss her and wish you wouldn't have joined the SHL and forgotten all of your friends and family. Suddenly, you hear a loud bang from behind you.

Dominic Montgomery || D || #74 || S44-S?? || 1,824 TPE [peak]
Name: Dominic Montgomery
Born: St. Clair Shores, MI, USA (Team UK transfer/dual citizenship)
Age: 17 (born S28)
Height: 6' 1"
Weight: 205 lb
Number: 6

SHL Career Statistics
S54 SFP: GP: 50, G: 6, A: 25, P: 31, +/-: 20, PIM: 14, H: 63, SB: 95
S53 SFP: GP: 50, G: 6, A: 18, P: 24, +/-: 11, PIM: 16, H: 63, SB: 73
S52 SFP: GP: 50, G: 6, A: 29, P: 35, +/-: 13, PIM: 22, H: 89, SB: 63
S51 SFP: GP: 50, G: 1, A: 18, P: 19, +/-: -12, PIM: 16, H: 73, SB: 61
S50 SFP: GP: 50, G: 4, A: 16, P: 20, +/-: 2, PIM: 39, H: 66, SB: 39
S49 SFP: GP: 50, G: 2, A: 7, P: 9, +/-: -17, PIM: 24, H: 46, SB: 59
S48 SFP: GP: 50, G: 1, A: 21, P: 22, +/-: 5, PIM: 22, H: 35, SB: 56

SHL Playoff Statistics
S52 SFP: GP: 19, G: 2, A: 7, P: 9, +/-: -3, PIM: 18, H: 37, SB: 25
S50 SFP: GP: 4, G: 0, A: 1, P: 1, +/-: -1, PIM: 0, H: 5, SB: 2
S48 SFP: GP: 6, G: 0, A: 3, P: 3, +/-: -1, PIM: 0, H: 7, SB: 6

SMJHL Career Statistics
S47 HAL: GP: 50, G: 3, A: 30, P: 33, +/-: -5, PIM: 20, H:26, SB: 56
S46 HAL: GP: 50, G: 4, A: 24, P: 28, +/-: 8, PIM: 26, H: 38, SB: 50
S45 HAL: GP: 50, G: 9, A: 23, P: 32, +/-: -11, PIM: 22, H:42, SB: 60
S44 HAL: GP: 50, G: 3, A: 11, P: 14, +/-: -9, PIM: 16, H: 14, SB: 54

SMJHL Playoffs Statistics
S47 HAL: GP: 4, G: 0, A: 2, P: 2, +/-: -6, PIM: 2, H: 6, SB: 3
S46 HAL: GP: 13, G: 0, A: 2, P: 2, +/-: -3, PIM: 4, H: 10, SB: 22
S45 HAL: GP: 11, G: 5, A: 4, P: 14, +/-: -3, PIM: 2, H: 2, SB: 12
S44 HAL: None

Accomplishments/Facts:
S63: Traded to NEW
S63: Signed with SFP
S58: Signed with ATL
S57: NEW Team Awards - Mia Landvik Award
S56: NEW Alternate Captain
S55: Traded to NEW
S53-54: SFP Captain
S53 IIHF: Bronze Medal (Team GB)
S52 IIHF: Gold Medal (Team GB)
S49 IIHF: Silver Medal (Team GB)
S48: First SHL goal, day 72 vs Chiefs, assisted by Lockhart/King
S47 IIHF: Gold Medal (Team GB)
S47: Challenge Cup Playoffs, SFP Wild Card Game 5: SHL call up
S45 - S47: Captain of HAL
S46 IIHF: Silver Medal (Team Great Britain)
S46: HAL Team Awards - Fuller Trophy
(Top Defenceman)
S45: HAL Team Awards - Broadway Award
(Exceptional Dedication to Hockey/Leadership)
S45: Drafted 5th overall to SFP
S44: Drafted 5th overall to HAL

Dieter Dominique || RW || #15 || S27-S44 || 1,574 TPE [peak]
Name: Dieter Dominique
Born: Freiburg, Germany
Age: 34
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 195 lb
Number: 15

SHL Career Statistics
S44 NEW: GP: 50, G: 17, A: 21, P: 38, +/-:

-3, PIM: 4, H: 19, SB: 11
S43 NEW: GP: 50, G: 23, A: 22, P: 45, +/-:

11, PIM: 4, H: 18, SB: 6
S42 NEW: GP: 50, G: 18, A: 24, P: 42, +/-:

18, PIM: 2, H: 34, SB: 10
S41 NEW: GP: 50, G: 19, A: 16, P: 35, +/-: -

6, PIM: 30, H: 72, SB: 10
S40 NEW: GP: 50, G: 22, A: 21, P: 43, +/-:

11, PIM: 18, H: 102, SB: 10
S39 NEW: GP: 50, G: 25, A: 24, P: 49, +/-: 6,

PIM: 22, H: 90, SB: 16
S38 NEW: GP: 50, G: 21, A: 25, P: 46, +/-:

20, PIM: 20, H: 67, SB: 17
S37 NEW: GP: 50, G: 18, A: 24, P: 42, +/-: 1,

PIM: 4, H: 27, SB: 8
S36 NEW: GP: 50, G: 18, A: 18, P: 36, +/-: -

2, PIM: 0, H: 5, SB: 14
S35 NEW: GP: 50, G: 24, A: 24, P: 48, +/-:

22, PIM: 0, H: 5, SB: 14
S34 NEW: GP: 50, G: 18, A: 17, P: 35, +/-:

24, PIM: 6, H: 4, SB: 9
S33 NEW: GP: 50, G: 23, A: 21, P: 44, +/-:

21, PIM: 4, H: 5, SB: 8
S32 NEW: GP: 50, G: 6, A: 10, P: 16, +/-: 9,

PIM: 6, H: 20, SB: 4
S31 NEW: GP: 50, G: 3, A: 1, P: 4, +/-: 2,

PIM: 2, H: 5, SB: 2

SMJHL Career Statistics
S30 KEL: GP: 50, G: 16, A: 15, P: 31, +/-: 0,

PIM: 31, H: 43, SB: 12
S29 KEL: GP: 50, G: 16, A: 24, P: 40, +/-:

+8, PIM: 30, H: 54, SB: 15
S28 KEL: GP: 50, G: 16, A: 12, P: 28, +/-: -

10, PIM: 8, H: 47, SB: 18
S27 KEL: GP: 50, G: 9, A: 9, P: 18, +/-: 0,

PIM: 22, H: 37, SB: 2

SHL Playoff Statistics
S44 NEW: GP: ZERO rip
S43 NEW: GP: ZERO rip
S42 NEW: GP: 18, G: 3, A: 9, P: 12, +/-: -2,

PIM: 2, H: 16, SB: 5
S41 NEW: GP: ZERO rip
S40 NEW: GP: 5, G: 6, A: 2, P: 8, +/-: 2,

PIM: 2, H: 6, SB: 1
S39 NEW: GP: 12, G: 5, A: 3, P: 8, +/-: 2,

PIM: 6, H: 17, SB: 7
S38 NEW: GP: 7, G: 1, A: 5, P: 6, +/-: 0,

PIM: 2, H: 12, SB: 5
S37 NEW: GP: ZERO rip
S36 NEW: GP: 18, G: 10, A: 6, P: 16, +/-: 8,

PIM: 2, H: 4, SB: 8
S35 NEW: GP: 9, G: 4, A: 4, P: 8, +/-: 7,

PIM: 0, H: 0, SB: 2
S34 NEW: GP: 11, G: 6, A: 7, P: 13, +/-: 9,

PIM: 0, H: 1, SB: 0
S33 NEW: GP: 18, G: 3, A: 6, P: 9, +/-: -3,

PIM: 0, H: 3, SB: 4
S32 NEW: GP: 11, G: 7, A: 1, P: 8, +/-: 7,

PIM: 10, H: 12, SB: 1
S31 NEW: GP: 19, G: 3, A: 0, P: 3, +/-: 1,

PIM: 2, H: 3, SB: 1

SMJHL Playoff Statistics
S30 KEL: GP: 10, G: 1, A: 6, P: 7, +/-: -1,

PIM: 2, H: 15, SB: 0
S29 KEL: GP: 11, G: 9, A: 6, P: 15, +/-: +1,

PIM: 4, H: 19, SB: 3
S28 KEL: GP: 6, G: 0, A: 0, P: 0, +/-: -4,

PIMS: 2, H: 5, SB: 0
S27 KEL: GP: 13, G: 4, A: 4, P: 8, +/-: -4,

PIMS: 10, H: 3, SB: 1

Accomplishments/Facts:
Was alt captain on NEW for a long time
S44: IIHF Team Germany Captain
S40: IIHF Bronze Medal - Germany
S38: IIHF Bronze Medal - Germany
S36: IIHF Gold Medal - Germany
S34: IIHF Silver Medal - Germany
S33: Challenge Cup Champion
S33: President's, Mathias Chouinard - NEW
S32: IIHF Gold Medal - Germany
S31: IIHF Silver Medal - Germany
S31: Challenge Cup Champion
S31: President's, Mathias Chouinard - NEW
S31: First SHL goal: NEW v MIN[/pbl]
S30 KEL: Jackson Rogers-Tanaka Award 
S30: Captain Deets of KEL
S28: Drafted 16th overall to NEW
S27: Signed as FA with KEL

sigs by sulovilen, slothfacekilla, Flareon
avatar by prettyburn

Player Page | @montyshl | Player Updates

Current: | Alumni:

...But there are red kidney beans, the color of your mother's hair. You miss her and wish you wouldn't have joined the SHL and forgotten all of your friends and family. Suddenly, you hear a loud bang from behind you.

IT'S KING! He jumped down onto the ice sheet from a helicopter above you that you couldn't hear momentarily over the 1000 font NOOTS surrounding your ear cavities. He takes one look at Pingy and...

[img=0x0]https://i.imgur.com/rWt4AB3.png[/img]
     Maxime Bouchard   |-|   RW   |-|   ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ιοο̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]     
                              S50 Challenge Cup Champion                               S53 Richan Trophy Winner[/align]

                              S49 Presidents Cup

                              S47 Jesster Trophy Winner

    DRINK DILK                      (づ ￣ ³￣)づ                      ⓈⓂⓄⓄⓉⒽ

   █▬█ █▄█ █▬█ █▄█ █▬█ █▄█ █▬█ █▄█ █▬█ █▄█ █▬█ █▄█   

[img=0x0]https://i.imgur.com/rWt4AB3.png[/img]

Maxime Bouchard

 Info - Updates  

Richard Dickbutt McFudderdudder II

 Info - Updates 

...But there are red kidney beans, the color of your mother's hair. You miss her and wish you wouldn't have joined the SHL and forgotten all of your friends and family. Suddenly, you hear a loud bang from behind you.

IT'S KING! He jumped down onto the ice sheet from a helicopter above you that you couldn't hear momentarily over the 1000 font NOOTS surrounding your ear cavities. He takes one look at Pingy and...

Shits his pants. He is so embarrassed he flees the scene and is never heard of ever again. Meanwhile pingy is engulfed in a beautiful flame that doesn't hurt him ... no ... it only makes him stronger...

||

IT'S KING! He jumped down onto the ice sheet from a helicopter above you that you couldn't hear momentarily over the 1000 font NOOTS surrounding your ear cavities. He takes one look at Pingy and...

Shits his pants. He is so embarrassed he flees the scene and is never heard of ever again. Meanwhile pingy is engulfed in a beautiful flame that doesn't hurt him ... no ... it only makes him stronger...

Suddenly the noots are reaching a critical mass and you notice that your ears are starting to bleed.  You try to tell Pingy to stop but he's frantically throwing pinto beans, not paying attention.  You finally get Pingy's attention and scream....

Shits his pants. He is so embarrassed he flees the scene and is never heard of ever again. Meanwhile pingy is engulfed in a beautiful flame that doesn't hurt him ... no ... it only makes him stronger...

Suddenly the noots are reaching a critical mass and you notice that your ears are starting to bleed.  You try to tell Pingy to stop but he's frantically throwing pinto beans, not paying attention.  You finally get Pingy's attention and scream....

“HAI LUNGA GUMBA” the noots have driven you insane. You are beyond the point of return. Pingy then sends you noots and you cannit control your lust for pingy

Thanks to @karey and @JSS for the sigs!

Teddy Cuddles  |  RW  | Edmonton Blizzard | Hall of Fame
Player Type : Two Way Forward
Height: 6'5" | Weight: 220 lbs | Age: 19
Number: 79
Birthplace: Providence, Rhode Island, USA
--------------------------------------------------------------
Regular Season Stats :
S35 | STL | GP:28 | G:2 | A:1 | P:3 | PIMs:5 | HIT:7 | Shots:25 | +/-:-4
S36 | STL | GP:50 | G:10 | A:10 | P:20 | PIMs:5 | HIT:97 | Shots:88 | +/-:-1
S37 | STL | GP:50 | G:13 | A:27 | P:40 | PIMs:56 | HIT:120| Shots:146 | +/-:+10
S38 | EDM | GP:50 | G:6 | A:7 | P:13 | PIMs:62 | HIT:114 | Shots:83 | +/-:-18
S39 | EDM | GP:50 | G:7 | A:15 | P:22 | PIMs:36 | HIT:161 | Shots:78 | +/-:-10
S40 | EDM | GP:50 | G:13 | A:29 | P:42 | PIMs:46 | HIT:197 | Shots:109 | +/-:+7
S41 | EDM | GP:50 | G:17 | A:17 | P:34 | PIMs:49 | HIT:143 | Shots:121 | +/-:-4
S42 | EDM | GP:50 | G:17 | A:24 | P:41 | PIMs:52 | HIT:135 | Shots:132 | +/-:+9
S43 | EDM | GP:50 | G:14 | A:23 | P:37 | PIMs:24 | HIT:121 | Shots:121 | +/-:-2
S44 | EDM | GP:50 | G:21 | A:32 | P:53 | PIMs:28 | HIT:131 | Shots:214 | +/-:+19
S45 | EDM | GP:50 | G:13 | A:24 | P:37 | PIMs:51 | HIT:170 | Shots:185 | +/-:+9
S46 | EDM | GP:50 | G:29 | A:31 | P:60 | PIMs:53 | HIT:152 | Shots:195 | +/-:+9
S47 | EDM | GP:50 | G:17 | A:33 | P:50 | PIMs:46 | HIT:182 | Shots:199 | +/-:+8
S48 | EDM | GP:50 | G:22 | A:23 | P:45 | PIMs:26 | HIT:182 | Shots:210 | +/-:+7
S49 | EDM | GP:50 | G:20 | A:25 | P:45 | PIMs:36 | HIT:149 | Shots:208 | +/-:+1
--------------------------------------------------------------
Post Season Stats :
S35 | STL | GP:7 | G:0 | A:0 | P:0 | PIMs:0 | HIT:2 | Shots:4 | +/-:+1
S36 | STL | GP:6 | G:1 | A:1 | P:2 | PIMs:7 | HIT:14 | Shots:12 | +/-:+3
S37 | STL | GP:13 | G:4 | A:5 | P:9 | PIMs:26 | HIT:26 | Shots:30 | +/-:+7
S38 | EDM | Did not qualify
S39 | EDM | GP:7 | G:3 | A:3 | P:6 | PIMs:4 | HIT:18 | Shots:10 | +/-:+1
S40 | EDM | GP:7 | G:1 | A:6 | P:7 | PIMs:4 | HIT:33 | Shots:15 | +/-:+2
S41 | EDM | GP:7 | G:2 | A:3 | P:5 | PIMs:12 | HIT:15 | Shots:15 | +/-:+1
S42 | EDM | GP:11 | G:5 | A:8 | P:13 | PIMs:10 | HIT:25 | Shots:38 | +/-:+1
S43 | EDM | Did not Qualify
S44 | EDM | GP:11 | G:4 | A:7 | P:11 | PIMs:12 | HIT:31 | Shots:42 | +/-:+3
S45 | EDM | GP:18 | G:7 | A:11 | P:18 | PIMs:24 | HIT:56 | Shots:68 | +/-:+8
S46 | EDM | GP:4 | G:0 | A:0 | P:0 | PIMs:2 | HIT:9 | Shots:11 | +/-:-5
S47 | EDM | GP:6 | G:3 | A:2 | P:5 | PIMs:6 | HIT:24 | Shots:25 | +/-:+2
S48 | EDM | GP:5 | G:2 | A:2 | P:4 | PIMs:0 | HIT:11 | Shots:19 | +/-:0
S49 | EDM | GP:23 | G:7 | A:17 | P:24 | PIMs:18 | HIT:76 | Shots:89 | +/-:-2
--------------------------------------------------------------
Awards and Achievements:
S37 | STL Kanye Summers Award for Regular Season Team MVP
S37 | STL Bradley Wingels Award for Best Forward
S40 | Gold Medal Winner
S40 | Aidan Richan Trophy Winner
S44 | Became 4th player in Edmonton Blizzard History to reach 1000 Hits
S45 | Challenge Cup Champion
S45 | Anton Razov Trophy for Playoff MVP
S45 | Silver Medal Winner
S46 | 1st Team All Star
S46 | Sarmad Kahn Nominee
S46 | Jef Darr Nominee
S47 | Jef Darr Nominee
S49 | Challenge Cup Champion
S49 | Anton Razov Nominee
--------------------------------------------------------------
Draft/Signing/Trade History:
S35 | Signed to STL
S36 | Drafted to Calgary 26th overall
S36 | Traded to Edmonton


Ambacas “Femboy Hooters” Cuddles | D | Tampa Bay Barracuda

Former USA Fed Head, Carolina Kraken Co-GM, Tampa Bay Barracuda GM

... you unzip your pants ...

thanks @Carpy48 and @frithjofr and @rum_ham and @Julio Tokolosh and @Briedaqueduc for the sigs