05-11-2019, 11:11 PM(This post was last modified: 05-12-2019, 06:02 AM by Daco.)
Casimir Stevens was dumped naked and afraid, within the depths of ISIS held territory in an unknown area outside of former Iraq. He was dropped with teammates Terrance Nova and Geoff Moore. First thing they thought was where am I and who did this to me!!?? They were all dropped in separate areas. Casimir met a villager and asked for some bread, in return the villager started to turn away. Casimir gave his one survival item, a diamond knife in exchange for food. The villager leads Stevens somewhere then was begging at Nova's knees who apparently was now a king of some sort. The soldier was asking if Stevens could have some food. Nova obviously knowing his good friend gave him a big hug and gave him a feast. Then Casimir thought, where is my friend Moore? Nova pointed at a nearby dog house and out crawled Moore.. now broken from the struggles of living naked and afraid and believing he was a dog. Then because this is a show the producers pulled them out while they remained forever traumatized.
The three captains of the Manhattan Rage, defenseman Reginald McIntyre, and the two alternates Reginald Rove and James Dekens were dropped off in a remote area of Borneo, eager to find each others for.... *body warmth* . For his survival item, Reginald Rove has his trusty hockey stick. The first thing he did was to sharpen it using some rocks he found, fashioning it into a machete like blade able to cut into the thick overgrowth of the jungle. The first highlight was fighting off a jaguar that had been lying in wait for the naked winger. It seemed like the two would bring each other's death, but then out of nowhere a naked (and afraid) Reginald McIntyre came in with his special item, a Dasani water bottle, and clubbed the leopard to death with it. Using the leopard's coat for clothing and its meat for some sandwiches, the next few days were uneventful. Then, the two players heard none other than a delirious James Dekens singing some song about making chocolate soup for desert. It was not until upon closer inspection that they realized he was just stirring some of his.... lets just say liquid bowel movements, around in a bowl he had somehow fashioned. While McIntyre declined Deken's invitation for some shit soup, Rove, tired of leopard meat, decided what the hell and had some. After that the three captains lived in harmony and made it to the end. The end.
05-11-2019, 11:38 PM(This post was last modified: 05-11-2019, 11:41 PM by GeckoeyGecko.)
Tokek tried to take his burrito shop, or failing that, a missile launcher, along with him as his survival item. Needlessly to say, he got neither and was flung screaming from the helicopter with naught but a single bottle of hot sauce. Jax Aittokallio and Alex Winters watched him flail and plummet directly into a bog. This is the sorta bog that you look at and figure is infested with snakes, so they left him. Alex was later heard saying that not only would their blueline get significantly better, but they might get some cap relief out of it too.
Twenty days later, they figured they might as well grab the body, or maybe a single finger bone, or maybe just relieve themselves on whichever snake they figured was his final resting place. They journeyed into the bog wielding kinda pointy sticks, onto a small island in the centre of the mire. They were greeted there by a man, unrecognizable as Tokek, draped in leaves, sitting on a crude throne, surrounded by monitor lizards. A sign above his head denoted him as 'King of the Gecks'.
Jax turned to Alex. "You wanna just leave him here?"
Along with British teammates Dominic Montgomery (@bilbo) and Perry Morgan (@"Flareon4043"), Nick Brain heads to California for what he thinks is a photoshoot for the UK team, with a TV crew in tow to film it. Unfortunately for the British trio, this is no photoshoot, and the 3 are about to embark on the most difficult challenge in their lifetimes. The trio must use their wits to survive the fiercest, wildest jungle in the world in..........
NAKED AND AFRAID: WELCOME TO COMPTON
While the trio are distracted by trying to see the LA skyline out their plane window through the smog, they are injected with military-quality drugs, stripped naked, wheeled through the airport disguised as cargo, and dumped unceremoniously in three Compton back-alleys to survive in the wilderness. They only have a map, instructions to meet up and survive written on the map, and the only survival item that will help you in Compton: an Uzi.
The first priority is to find clothing. Luckily for Nick Brain, he finds some Meek Mill threads in a trash can and heads out into the streets, trying to blend in with the locals. Unfortunately he becomes set upon by 2 urban youths in a vehicle, who happen to be Drake fans. Taunting of Nick's threads escalates into a drive-by shooting, but their aim sucks and they miss Nick as he dives onto the concrete, left wondering as to how on earth life can get worse than playing for the Colorado Raptors.
Nick finds Perry and Dominic on Day 11, being forced to participate in Worldstar fight videos to earn their freedom from their drug kingpin captors. Nick frees the two in a hail of gunfire and hockey-based fisticuffs, before stealing two LA Clippers unis from a nearby Foot Locker for his naked British comrades as they try to escape Compton and seek salvation.
On Day 21, with time running out, the trio get lucky: A friendly Uber driver offers to take them out of town, for a price. Nick negotiates safe passage out of Los Angeles in exchange for his Uzi. Perry and Dom look amazed at Nick's deal-making prowess. As members of the Halifax Raiders, they have never seen a trade deal of any sort successfully benefit them in their entire careers.
The Uber driver puts the pedal to the metal and drives out of Compton. As night falls, the trio celebrate their escape. The camera pans out to the car racing down the LA freeways, only for the car to randomly blow up somehow, sending debris and smoke scattering throughout the road! Will our three heroes survive and make their escape? Find out next time on........ NAKED AND AFRAID: WELCOME TO COMPTON!
Agent of Nick Brain: Center/Right Winger - WinnipegAurora
Agent of John Torrance: Advisor to the General Manager - WinnipegAurora
Agent of Anatoli Terrorov: Head Coach - ColoradoRaptors
One morning Arnost Holub, GM of the Whalers, walked into the locker room and told the team that 3 players, chosen by a random number generator, would have to participate in the next season of Naked and Afraid.
“The first player is… Aaron Wilson.”
“Hell no, I request a trade”, replied Aaron.
“Too late, it’s after the trade deadline”
1 month later
“This was a terrible, TERRIBLE idea”, repeated Aaron as he was dropped off somewhere with nothing but a knife.
Ok, I guess first I need to find water. I started walking in a random direction. I kept walking for hours but there was no source of water in sight. I started getting hungry. “Ok google, how to hunt in the wilderness… Oh wait, I’m in the middle of nowhere, without clothes or any means of communication”. So I started throwing my knife at anything that looked eatable, and 2 hours later I finally hit a nice rabbit.
“Bottle of wine would be really fookin nice right about now”, as dehydration started to set in.
“What if this is some elaborate trick and there is no water in this place at all?”
It was getting late so I decided to make a shelter and continue my search tomorrow.
Day 1: Found piece of dry bark and sth. to write with. Still alone here, but feeling safe, just cold. Ate some berries.
Day 2: Finally found Peter Larson (@Tomasnz). Goalies stick together. Both hungry, but found water + built shelter.
Day 3: Heard animal sounds. No idea about third person yet. Missing coffee.
Day 4: Unidentified large animal following us. Possible food source? Very hungry, slightly scared. Made basic weapons.
Day 5: Reached a river. Peter caught fish. Quick goalie reflexes! Animal disappeared?
Day 6: Animal still around. Really missing coffee. Peter caught rabbit.
Day 7: Animal identified as cow: @Julio Tokolosh! Group complete. Sadly no food source. Keeps us warm at night. Big plus.
Day 11: Feeling sick. Very, very hungry.
Day 12: Befriended random cow herd in jungle. Planning to maybe eat one, not telling Julio.
Day 15: Ran out of bark. Peter turned out to be great hunter. Julio still mad, but at least we're no longer naked thanks to new cow fur.
Day 19: Doing quite well. Could stay here if they had coffee.
Day 21: Finally done. Where's my coffee?
I heard about this show, and I said I would never even dream of taking part in this mess. However, when Jax Duggan (@SecondSucks22 ) and Dale Miller (@dmills3 ) told me they were going in to this wilderness together, I knew I had to tag along to see exactly what would transpire. The self proclaimed "bash bros" taking on naked and afraid and there was no way in hell I was going to miss this. So there I was, stripped down and dropped on this island with the two of them.
21 days can be a very long time, however I had my own entertainment watching these two trying to survive. I think they spent more time in 21 days arguing with each other than trying to get some food or shelter. I wasn't a great survivalist, but I tried my best. I managed to get some sort of shelter (when it didn't rain) and was able to get a fire going to help me out. But man Jax and Dale were a sight to see. What started off as fishing in an attempt to get some food, ended up in a splash war between the two of them. Imagine, two young SMJHLers naked in the ocean, splashing each other all giddy from the cold water.
Perhaps the greatest highlight of them all was day 17. We were almost there, but it seems as though the bond the two of them had created was stronger than it had ever was. I woke up in the morning, looked over to their little sleeping area and could see them wrapped in each other's arms. I guess their attempt at making a fire didn't go so well... Or at least that's what they told me.
I lost a ton of weight and probably got sick a few times, but was it worth it? Absolutely. These are things the two "bash bros" will never be able to get away from.
Vent was currently on a boat heading deep into a jungle he did not know the name to. Vent was only told that the league wanted to draw in more fans, and they decided on a tv show for prospects to go through. Vent was told he would have to be naked and would have to survive out here in the jungle. Vent was given a small pocketknife and that’s it as he made his way off the boat. Vent was very bored walking through the jungle trying to find a place to start camp. As he was walking, he happened to stumble a pawn Calgary prospect Bernik Vrzala. The two were able to make a small hut with a stick roof with leaves as a bed. Bugs were the only thing the two could eat and let’s say it never sat well with Vent who would occasionally throw up his food. After three days of trying to find sustainable water and food when all of a sudden DeMaricus Smyth walked into their camp without warning. Vrzala was not expecting the invasion and screamed very loud. The two young prospects Vent and Vrzala began to look up to Smyth for his wisdom and since he was older, they believed he would be able to help them. Throughout their time together the trio went through snake bites in places that you do not want to get bit, poison ivy, A very determined monkey, and of course a few mental breakdowns along the way. After a week the group was able to be rescued and brought back to civilization. When asked on what he learned about in his time in the jungle Vent said this “Fuck Nature” and walked off.
@Blastmeaway @Off
05-12-2019, 12:07 PM(This post was last modified: 05-12-2019, 12:07 PM by esilverm.)
After being dumped in the jungle for a Discovery Channel Naked and Afraid special, Nicolaj Muller had some work to do. All he knew was there would be three other SHL/SMJHL players hidden around the jungle and he had to find them in order to survive the next 21 days. After a bit of walking, he first stumbled upon former Crow player DeMaricus Smyth (@Blastmeaway) from the New Orleans Specters. Next the two ran into Nicolaj's teammate Charlie Serpe (@Serpe x 13 ).
Day 7: Muller realized that the fire starter kit would come in handy instead of rubbing sticks together to create a fire.
Day 13: The three players try swimming across the river but each one ends up with leeches on their bodies.
Day 18: Charlie Serpe gets a fungus infection on his left leg and is having a pretty bad time overall.
Day 21: The three finally get the word that they will be able to leave.
Pass Forfeit (D) ● Player Profile
Special thanks to Blitz, jhockey, Ragnarr, and sulo for the gorgeous sigs <3
I was not too thrilled at the prospect of being stuck on an island naked but being the type of guy who doesn't back down from a challenge and since S47 is pretty much going down the crapper for the Chiefs if figured I would get my mind on something else for 21 days. What I dislike more though was being stuck naked on an island with my longtime rival Cedric Moreau! Who was the other guy, oh yeah it was Kata Wilde! Talk about a potentially explosive cocktail considering the Sweden controversy ya? But as we all now drama makes ratings these days so the producers being hockey heads jumped on the occasion.
I forgot what Cedric and Kata brought on the trip, truth be told the whole thing is kind of hazy in my mind. What I remember is I brought a machete with me and I decided to make myself a pair of shorts with vines and leaves. I still have some decency in me and I like my jump in a set of the trunk. Food finding was hard for me because I am no hunter gladly though it didn't take too long before I grouped up with the other two. The ambiance was... Well, there was no ambiance. We basically at least for the first few days barely talked to each other but we did realize quickly that we worked well as a trio and it helped to make things a bit easier. But as time moved on the difficulty kept on rising and it's during time of duress sometimes that differences are settled and this is what happened between me and Cedric. He's my rival still now, but hatred has been replaced by mutual respect. While we used to want to beat each other to up one another, not we do it in the interest of sportsmanship. I have no issues with Kata really, it's Sweden Management I have a problem with.
Adversity has a way of bringing people closer together.
Geezus Kryyst didn’t fare well on Naked and Afraid! While as a child, he loved to camp… he found as an adult that it was miserable. His first adventure was to try and build a comfortable place to sleep. He gathered some fallen logs and log grasses from the immediate area and tried to weave them between the logs for some support. This didn’t quite work and ultimately he just piled everything onto the ground underneath a tree for shade. Unfortunately for him, he forgot everything he learned in Boy Scouts and accidentally used poison sumac to add some comfort to his grass and rope bed. This lead to him being virtually unable to function as the itching and sores drove him to delirium. By the third day the production company had to stop filming and removed him from the program after carrying him out of the wilderness on a stretcher
On this episode of naked and afraid we have SHL send down edition with forwards Spencer MacLean, Filip Zadina and Espen Knutsen Jr. Dropped off solo in different locations deep in the rainforest of Borneo all contestants must fend for themselves; lost naked and afraid. “Fuck me” Spencer exclaimed to himself as he exited the helicopter into an unforgiving jungle, “Im way to hungover for this…”. Knutsen and Zadina found each other within the first two days, however Zadina had to be airlifted out of the jungle on day 4 after succumbing to a crotch full of leeches (no one blamed him). Knutsen fared much better than his friend and even discovered a new species of poisonous frog. MacLean discovered after day 2 that the jungle life wasn’t so bad, when Knutsen finally found him he had established himself as the middle son in a family of orang-utans. He was actually enjoying himself and the regular bug cleanings and coddling that came along with being the favourite child of a mother orang-utan. He was eventually announced as the winner of the competition, as all things considered, he barely had to lift a finger the whole time.
Nathan Explosion's adeventure at naked and afraid went not so bad after all. You have to know that Explosion is 1/4th Yaneemango, a tribe of Amazonian cannibals, as a result of his grandmother's affair when she visited the Amazon. His roots could help him have an edge in survival, hoping he doesn't have to resort to cannibalism.
The main highlight of his adventure began when one of the other participants came back saying there was a monster on the island trying to kill them. Nathan Explosion saw multiple movies about such situations and decided to drill the group in order to kill this thing. So they dug a hole in the ground, covered it with sticks and leaves to try and lure the thing into the pit. They setup a net trap that would trigger when the mosnter steps on it. The problem was the beast was invisible and inteligent. It disarmed all the traps and killed every participants :( Except Nathan Explosion, who noticed the monster bled a bit when grazed by a knife someone else had. So Explosion went and covered himself in mud, and tought to himself : "If it bleeds I can Kill it".
Explosion then woke up around the other participants. They were laughing at him as it turns out he ate poisonous berries and lost consciousness. He tought to himself it would have been easier to be a cannibal.
Daco![[Image: S3zuZxo.png]](https://i.imgur.com/S3zuZxo.png)
![[Image: 10cjae8.png]](http://i54.tinypic.com/10cjae8.png)
. For his survival item, Reginald Rove has his trusty hockey stick. The first thing he did was to sharpen it using some rocks he found, fashioning it into a machete like blade able to cut into the thick overgrowth of the jungle. The first highlight was fighting off a jaguar that had been lying in wait for the naked winger. It seemed like the two would bring each other's death, but then out of nowhere a naked (and afraid) Reginald McIntyre came in with his special item, a Dasani water bottle, and clubbed the leopard to death with it. Using the leopard's coat for clothing and its meat for some sandwiches, the next few days were uneventful. Then, the two players heard none other than a delirious James Dekens singing some song about making chocolate soup for desert. It was not until upon closer inspection that they realized he was just stirring some of his.... lets just say liquid bowel movements, around in a bowl he had somehow fashioned. While McIntyre declined Deken's invitation for some shit soup, Rove, tired of leopard meat, decided what the hell and had some. After that the three captains lived in harmony and made it to the end. The end.
![[Image: 2v10l6s.png]](http://i67.tinypic.com/2v10l6s.png)
![[Image: sig-e-e-geck-atl.png]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/467151789825720340/1071860432136065204/sig-e-e-geck-atl.png)
![[Image: 0K3YdqN.png]](https://i.imgur.com/0K3YdqN.png)
Carpy48![[Image: zS2lCMp.png]](https://i.imgur.com/zS2lCMp.png)
![[Image: carpy48.gif]](https://sig.grumpybumpers.com/host/carpy48.gif)
![[Image: p1gG0LD.png]](https://i.imgur.com/p1gG0LD.png)
![[Image: DKMMlC3.png]](http://i.imgur.com/DKMMlC3.png)
![[Image: sXDU6JX.png]](https://i.imgur.com/sXDU6JX.png)
![[Image: ctsxTFg.png]](http://i.imgur.com/ctsxTFg.png)
![[Image: 3GX9nYb.png]](https://i.imgur.com/3GX9nYb.png)
![[Image: AfpXX8l.png]](https://i.imgur.com/AfpXX8l.png)
![[Image: GkHz3HI.png]](https://i.imgur.com/GkHz3HI.png)
![[Image: T8nB5Dn.png]](http://i.imgur.com/T8nB5Dn.png)
![[Image: KXZ8h4k.png]](http://i.imgur.com/KXZ8h4k.png)
![[Image: Otrebor13.gif]](https://sig.grumpybumpers.com/host/Otrebor13.gif)
![[Image: 7MO9RpC.png]](http://i.imgur.com/7MO9RpC.png)
![[Image: gdppv5N.png]](http://i.imgur.com/gdppv5N.png)
![[Image: ImShiny.gif]](https://sig.grumpybumpers.com/host/ImShiny.gif)
![[Image: esilverm.gif]](https://sig.grumpybumpers.com/host/esilverm.gif)
![[Image: DG0jZcS.png]](https://i.imgur.com/DG0jZcS.png)
![[Image: micool132.gif]](https://sig.grumpybumpers.com/host/micool132.gif)
![[Image: lUeg4KM.png]](https://i.imgur.com/lUeg4KM.png)
![[Image: aawil.gif]](https://sig.grumpybumpers.com/host/aawil.gif)
![[Image: eqsu1WN.png]](https://i.imgur.com/eqsu1WN.png)
![[Image: primeau.png]](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/694020619620188191/1019019538924314624/primeau.png)
![[Image: WuRZxKN.png]](https://i.imgur.com/WuRZxKN.png)
![[Image: N6rDTb0.png]](https://i.imgur.com/N6rDTb0.png)
![[Image: NVUyuKG.png]](https://i.imgur.com/NVUyuKG.png)
