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Jaemistightdabs · 05-15-2019, 04:24 PM

05-13-2019, 12:04 PMWh eel Snipe Celly Wrote: LW: Waffles Man (with Dickens Makeout-King as a very close second)
C: Ja'Aj Coitus-Wagg
RW: Tah Puhcheese (das me)
D: Big Fudge
D: Touncie Bitties
G: Harry Carpet

I think you're understanding the theme by now. Before you today, I have assembled the six greatest names to grace today's SMJHL. Up front you'll have two guys distracting the opposition with their waffles and coitus, while Puhcheese lives up to his name and shelves pucks where mommy hides the cookie jar. Back on defence Tig ol Touncie Bitties will intimidate opponents with his, well, touncing bitties and it's impossible to get a shot past Big Fudge as his chocolate ass takes up half the width of the ice. Finally, Harry Carpet will lay down the law as the last line of defense on this absolutely stacked roster, and you can be damn sure that his curtains match, don't you dare insinuate otherwise.

Honestly if we were all together we'd be legit unstoppable. Sixty minutes a night, every night, undefeated season, all that jazz.

Wow - I completely agree, what a SQUAD

jason97 · 05-15-2019, 06:22 PM

[Center] - Mister McCarty - Lethbridge Lions Lions

Mister McCarty found himself on the Lions 4th line for this season and saw an average of 6 minutes of ice-time per game. He managed 2 assists in 48 games with 14 shots, 10 hits and 2 blocked shots. The Lions are pushing for a championship, so McCarty is looking to get ready for the playoffs and help the Lions make a far run into the playoffs.

[Left Wing] - Calogero Crudelli - Colorado Raptors Raptors

Crudelli, who was supposed to have help the struggling Colorado Raptors off the back, had a very subpar rookie season. He finished 2nd worst in +/- with a -28 and only scored 13 points in 48 games so far this season. He will be looking at 1st line minutes next season so he needs to improve immediately.

[Right Wing] - Jimbo Slambowski - Anaheim Outlaws Outlaws

Rookie Jimbo Slambowski has played 49 games so far this season and has yet to get a single point. He is, however, a +1 for the season recording 0 shots on net with 2 hits. He is also 100% on the face-off circle (1/1). The Outlaws had a ton of fire power this season on offense, so it was unfortunate for Slambowski.

[Defense] - Antonio Calculon - Halifax Raiders raiders

Calculon averaged about 2 minutes a game in the 48 games he played so far this season and managed to pick up one assist on the way. He was able to get off 1 shot on net and 3 hits to go along with 4 blocked shots. The Raiders look to be running a 6 man defensive unit so it will be tough for Calculon to break into the squad.

[Defense] - Airi Yamaguchi - St. Louis Scarecrows

Airi Yamaguchi, like Calculon, only played about 2 minutes a game. However, he wasn't able to get a point at all in 49 games so far this season. He only managed 1 shot and 1 hit with 6 blocked shots. As the Scarecrows use an 8 man defensive lineup, Yamaguchi will be looking to make his way into the lineup more next season.

[Goalie] - Theo Haas - Kelowna Knights Knights

The Knights rookie goalie was able to get himself into 11 games this season and managed a 1-4-3 record. He had a 0.894% save percentage and a 2.78 GAA. Hopefully he can get into some more games for next season and build up his confidence going into the SHL.

The theme is pretty simple for this team. I believe that all this team needs is a chance. A chance to get some ice-time and show the league what they can do. Hopefully this upcoming off-season works wonders for everyone and they come into next season ready to prove themselves.

EuroCap · 05-16-2019, 10:31 AM

Emiko · 05-16-2019, 12:47 PM

PBE PT

DieselJ · 05-16-2019, 02:27 PM

PBE PT

GrilledTwinkiez · 05-16-2019, 11:43 PM

This lineup gonna snipe Genos all day long cause I’m in net and am a fucking sieve. So first up at Centre we got: Borromini Cannellini dudes fuckin filthy, 48 points in 50 games is nutty and makes him one of the best in the SMJHL easy pick.
At Left wing we got: Travis Bitties, I’m good friends with tigole Bitties so I’m sure we would get along just fine. He’s also a first OA pick and the dude rips tits in his rookie year
At RW we got: Hiro Fujikawa, what can I say the dudes a fucking “Hiro” (see what I did there) yeah you did. Anyways the dude is crazy good at hockey.
On D we need more goals. Defense never wins championships so we’re picking: Osbert Whacker and Karlstrabe Scholz cause these guys put up points. Fuck defence, I’m a sieve with it or not so with me in net we need to win games 10-9 and this lineup can do that. Bring back 80’s hockey. Defence is useless change my mind

***Gwdjohnson*** · 05-17-2019, 04:22 PM

I had a sit-down with rising Anchorage star Gabriel Johnson regarding which 5 non-Armada SMJHL players he would want to take the ice with him. Over to you, Gabe.

GJ: Wow, that's a tough one. I don't wanna ruffle any feathers with my answer, but I've been following the Militia a lot since they're my hometown team, so their players will take up most of my picks I bet [laughs].

GWD: Ok well let's go through it one-by-one. Starting with Center.

GJ: It's gotta be Kristoffer Svensson [from Montreal]. That guy is going to be huge in the future. He's just so dominant in all of the important areas for a center, and is definitely too good for this league. It always amazes me how he can just always find the right pass to make, and that 5-assist game he had against us showed just how good his playmaking is.

GWD: Now Left Wing.

GJ: Another easy one for me: Commander Shepard [also Montreal]. I promise it's not only Montreal players! Shepard is just an ideal sniper; every team needs that quality player who will always think shoot before pass, and he's just that. When he scored 4 against us in that same game I mentioned before, it really showed how elite his shooting is.

GWD: Final forward player, Right Wing.

GJ: I'll say Travis Bitties [Detroit]. He's the best rookie in the league by a very good margin and is hands-down the best of our draft class. He's got a really bright future, and is already up there in league scoring even though its his rookie year.

GWD: Now who would you have on Defence with you?

GJ: Hmm...I'll say Osbert Whacker [Anaheim]. He's such a good offensive dman and is probably around what I hope to play like next season. He's got such a strong game sense and came close to point-per-game on the season. I feel like playing with him I could have learned a lot about how to build myself into as good a offensive guy as him.

GWD: Obviously you're the other dman in this situation, so the final spot is Goalie.

GJ: Another Montreal guy, Aleksi O'Koivu-Volkova. The guy is a beast in nets. In that game where Montreal shut us out, he was incredible and really just stole the game for them. Stats-wise he hasn't been the best, but just based off what I've seen from him, he's a standout performer in net. He's Russian, too, so I bet he's good fun in the locker room!

GWD: Thanks, Gabe. I'm sure Montreal will be very happy to see your list!

GJ: Hopefully not too happy, I love Anchorage still!!

Gabriel's SMJHL Squad:

LW: Commander Shepard - Militia

C: Kristoffer Svensson - Militia

RW: Travis Bitties - Falcons

LD: Osbert Whacker - Outlaws

RD: Gabriel Johnson - Armada

G: Aleksi O'Koivu-Volkova - Militia

Word count: ~500 words

Bongo · 05-18-2019, 10:12 AM

G: Lethbridge Lions: Patrice Nadeau: 2nd best goalie in the J next to Larson. He leads the league in shutouts and sv%. Larsy is #1 but if I had to pick a #2 it’d be nadeau.

LD: Anaheim Outlaws - Osbert Whacker. His season has been phenomenal as he leads the league in assists. Having Osbert on my side would increase my goal totals and total team scoring.

RD: St Louis Scarecrows - Charlie Serpe. amazing shotblocking defender. An ideal piece to have on your backend. Serpe and Whacker together would be amazing.

LW: Colorado Raptors - Teddy Nuggets. Here’s a little bit of a sleeper pick. Nuggets managed to post 14 points in his rookie season on the last place raptors whose entire team posted only 119 goals for. For reference, 2nd last place in goals for (Lethbridge) posted 143. Teddy has plenty of upside.

RW: Vancouver Whalers: Borromini Cannelloni - the Whalers have had our number all season. I think cannelloni has something to do with it. He has great hockey presence and leads his team in points with 48.

C: Halifax Raiders - Matt Kholin. He leads the league in goals.. what more is there to say? He does what needs to be done and is successful in doing so.

Tydy · 05-18-2019, 12:23 PM

FORWARDS

Travis Bitties - Duh
Knights

Gunnar Soderberg - Man what a sophmore season, He obviously had a huge year this year. He was a great mentor throughout my post season stretch last year and has helped me massively in being such a great rookie this year. It was an honor to play with him, and he showed what he could do this year.
Militia

Ravyn Tedisko - Tedisko and I both played our hearts out throughout the prospect showcase. He also had a good rookie season and was shooting for 20% which is very impressive.

DEFENSEMAN
[Image: whalers.png]

Kaspars Claude - Obvious choice for me, he had a huge rookie season with 17 assists and was a great friend during the off-season and preseason leading into both of our rookie years.
Knights

Touncie Bitties - This was another obvious choice. He's my bro and was glad to see him picked up by Kelowna late in the season.

GOALTENDER
[Image: raptors.png]

Alexander Thorstrom - My man! Thorstrom and I had a blast winning the prospect showcase and I was very happy to see him go second overall. Sadly we haven't spoke to much since the prospect matches but he was a great teammate and I would be glad to have him back on my team.

Was going to make this an all rookie team but Soderberg is to amazing to not have on this list.

tedlamotors · 05-18-2019, 12:29 PM

Fantasy teams are always the dream. From a fan's perspective, and even a player who goes up against these same guys, it's always nice to imagine what you could do with some of the other guys in the league. As an Anaheim Outlaws player, I love the team and the guys I play with, but if I had to choose a starting lineup among all the SMJHLers, I would want this lineup

Matt Kholin raiders

As a d-man who only scored once the whole season, it's admirable to me to see players light up the goal horn, and when you do it a league-leading 24 times in 50 games, to say that feat is impressive wouldn't do justice.

Cant Eykhill Lions

I play a lot of DZ shifts, and nothing is more relieving than seeing faceoffs won in my end, simply because I want to move the puck and turn defense into offense. Eykhill was ranked 3rd in FO% at 56.71% (behind our beautiful Outlaw boys Slap McShotty & Max Rockatansky), and it would be a lot relieving to not have to take pucks to the leg after periods of defending in the DZ.

Gunnar Soderberg Knights

Only non-Outlaws player who follows my Twitter, simple as.

Noah Tedla Outlaws

I need no introduction, GOAT d-man in the making.

Karlstrabe Scholz Lions

While I am working on moving the puck and building an offensive game, I'm still a two-way player who struggles to get goals and got some points with the help of Osbert Whacker. Having a point-producing d-man alongside of me couldn't go wrong.

Peter Larson Armada

Larson might be 2nd in sv%, but he faces a lot of shots, and still has a reasonably good GAA. Given some help with a Tedla-Scholz pairing in front of him, and great forwards who can hold onto the puck, I'd think very few goals get past Larson.

All around, this team with plenty of complementary pieces, such as having a great goalscorer along with players who get assists and pass the puck around, good goaltending, a great FO winner as the center, would be a very nice fantasy team.

***Briedaqueduc*** · 05-18-2019, 12:58 PM

LeBlanc's dream team would be to play with his fellow Vipers, back in the Prospect Showcase.
Goalie : Biz Nasty raiders

Old Vipers teammate, Biz Nasty was a solid rookie goalkeeper this season, winning 5 of his 18 games. He ended with a save percentage of 0.895, which is not bad. He should be a solid goalie in the next couple seasons.

Defense : Victor Toeman Armada

LeBlanc and Toeman had great chemistry back then, and LeBlanc would love to have a chance to play with Toeman again. Toeman didn't really have a big season, with only 1 goal, 4 assists and a plus/minus of 2 ,but LeBlanc believes that he could be a big defenseman in the future.

Right Wing : Ravyn Tedisko Militia

LeBlanc has always been amazed by Tedisko's talent in the offensive zone. And her talent was proved this season, according to LeBlanc. She ended with 9 goals and 4 assists in her rookie season, which is solid for a rookie. LeBlanc can't wait to see how far she goes in her career.

Center : Mika Kandisky Scarecrows

Even though LeBlanc dislikes St.Louis as a team, he has a lot of repsect for Kandisky. He always thought of him as a solid two-way center. He always was impressed by his ability to win faceoff. This season, Kandisky did show his strength in faceoffs, achieving 50,21% win rate.

Left Wing : Atlas Rush raiders

LeBlanc really appreciated playing with Rush, and he would do it again at any moment. He liked how aggressive he was in the offensive zone. Atlas Rush maybe did not have the best season, only scoring a goal and 3 assists, but LeBlanc think that he could still be a good player in the future.

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nubbedindaribs · 05-18-2019, 02:16 PM

C - Matt Kholin

Boy can pot ginos all day long. Who doesn't want a scoring center?

F - Michael Fox

#2 in the league for assists. This lineup needs a play maker and that's Micheal Fox's job.

F - Bobby Bobcalf (me)

Uh yeah my only job in this lineup is to not be TOO much of a sandbag. Dish some pucks, and hopefully score some goals.

D - Osbert Whacker

League assist leader, and he's defensemen. Who needs defensive structure when you can outscore your opponent?

D - Karlstrabe Scholz

Another high scoring defensemen. I'm sure you're starting to see a pattern here.

G - Peter Larson

Went with Larson instead of Nadeau because I think that Nadeau's stats are inflated by a super strong D corps and less games.

I went with the "Maple Leafs Method". It doesn't matter how many goals the other team scores, as long as my team is able to score 1 more than them.

156 words

TheWoZy · 05-18-2019, 06:54 PM

Goalie: Casimir Stevens Whalers

He’s one of the best goalie in the SMJHL right now and I think he has the best chance of winning the Four Star Cup. He is also a good friend of mine and It would be awesome to play in front of him.

Defense: Piotr Horvat Knights

I think we can be a great duo in the league. I’m more of an offensive player and I can move the puck to the offensive zone. He’s more of a defensive guy and he can shut down any players. He can be a great support for me.

Center: Borromini Cannellini Whalers

He’s the best player in the league and it would be an honor to be his teammate. He’s a generational talent and will be the best player in the SHL one day. I really hope he won’t be someone I have to play against because it would be tough job for me.

Left wing: Martijn Westbroek Outlaws

He’s a center but he can play at any position. He’s the best two-ways forward in this league. He’s good at scoring goals and taking the puck from the opponents.

Right wing: Austin Roenick Lions

He’s a close friend of mine and it would be a dream to play with him. He’s an awesome person outside of the arena and he’s a great player in hockey. With his speed, our offense could beat any team.

Jesster · 05-18-2019, 09:56 PM

Goalie: Alexander Thorstom

Well since I have to select myself I think this is fitting.

Forward: Travis Bitties
Winner of the showcase tournament and junior rookie phenom, he has to be mentioned in a list like this. The player has all the talent you are looking for in a forward. The most upside of anyone on my list.

Forward: Nicolas Fleming
An absolutely monster and a player with an ability to score from anywhere. Excellent vision and the ability to setup teammates as well as score.

Forward: Esa Parmborg
Esa is a player who I would love to be able to suit up with. We have some experience in the past together. A player with a strong work ethic that is infectious and an attitude that exudes leadership.

Defense: Osbert Whacker
Every starting lineup needs a star caliber offensive defensemen. He has the ability to produce and be sound in his own end, a total workhorse.

Defense: Donny McMAsters
A guy who can lay the lumber and hit a mofo. Donny the man you need to protect my ass in net. Donny is just the guy to round out this lineup.

KenitohMenara · 05-19-2019, 04:49 AM

In an interview with the Anchorage Armada magazine, The Armada Charter, Raphael d'Alcott was asked a certain interesting question. If he could play with any 5 players in the SMJHL, who would he choose? The only thing was that he couldn't pick fellow Anchorage players as he already knows how good they are so to his misfortune, he couldn't pick Captain Cloutier or Xena. That being said, if Raphael could play with any 5 players, he would choose the following:

Matt Kohlin raiders

- In Raphael's mind, Kohlin is the premier center of the SMJHL. His totals and talent speak for themselves and in the position, Left Winger, where the talent of the center can make or break you, having someone as talented as Kohlin would a dream for Raphael.
Hiro Fujikawa Outlaws

- On the other wing, Raphael has admired Fujikawa's game from afar. The front line of Hockey has been and always will be a three-man team. Fujikawa's excellent shooting ability and excellent passing prowess would make a great compliment to Raphael's style of hockey.
Osbert Whacker Outlaws

- Another Anaheim Outlaw and arguably the best defenseman in the SMJHL, Whacker's work ethic and 200ft play has made Raphael an envious man. He loves the defensemen he plays with on the Armada to no end BUT there is no denying Whacker's talent.
Donny McMasters Lions

- The Armada have had a rough time against the Lions this year and it is partially because of McMasters play. Having someone that talented keeping the Blue line would allow Raphael to concentrate on his own job. Also, McMasters is a nice guy and Raphael feels like they would get along well.
Patrice Nadeau Lions

- This one in particular felt like Raphael had a gun to his head because Peter Larson has been such a great presence in Anchorage but if pushed, he would pick Nadeau. Part of the reasons why Anchorage struggled against Lethbridge this year is because of his incredible play and that's all that matters to Raphael. A good goalie and take teams to playoffs and Nadeau certainly can do all that.

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