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Igor - Take Two.
#1
(This post was last modified: 07-13-2019, 10:53 AM by TheHockeyist. Edit Reason: Typo. )

Igor is on camera again, trying to redo the broadcast that had to be -RETRACTED- the first time.

Off screen I: "Okay, you're not gonna screw this up like last time, are ya?"

Igor: "No, no, no... I just have to not talk about that thing."

Off screen II: "Good."

Igor: "Uh..."

Off screen I: "Just start over."

Igor: "You're not going to retract this are you?"

Off screen II: "Don't mention that thing, and you're good."

Igor: "I forgot what we were talking about."

Off screen II: "You know, the past? The future? Just... not that thing."

Igor: "Right. Not that thing. Mustn't mention my-"

Off screen I: "SHUT UP OR THIS WILL BE CENSORED."

(broadcast interrupts)

(broadcast resumes)

Off screen I: "Got it?"

Igor: "Yes."

Off screen II: "We're back on air. Igor, mention what you've been doing the past month."

Igor: "Again?"

Off screen I: "Yes, again."

Igor: (a bit tired of this) "So, many of you might remember the incident where I was injured due to my glue experiment gone wrong. It was determined that I was in fact scammed. I got the chemical from another supplier, and I was unable to make the glue to hold my boot laces together."

Off screen I: (whispering loudly almost directly at the camera) "Guys, Igor can't tie his shoelaces, so what's why he made the glue."

Igor: "SHUT UP, RICK!" "My name's not Rick!" "Anyways, I got a low yield, I tried again, and I was unsuccessful. I'm going to rely on my hiking buddies to tie my boot laces from now on."

Off screen II: "Told you so."

Off screen I: "Igor, tell them about your... whatever the hell this is in your notebook."

(camera pans)

Igor: "Oh, those are my plans for building a model of the planets in real life."

Off screen I: "I told you you need better handwriting!"

Igor: "I don't!"

Off screen II: "You really do. Come on, one-fifty gee three-two whatever the hell that was?"

Igor: "It was the chemical name!"

Off screen I: "Now tell them about your hockey plans."

Igor: "Well, (sighs as he has to re-explain everything) I started off as a noob. I struggled. Got help with some guys WHOM I'M NOT GOING TO PING AGAIN to get me stronger. Maxed out. I'm a beast in the SMJHL. I'm not to be messed with. Moving to the SHL. And then-"

Off screen I: "That's all you need to tell us."

Igor: "The thing, right?"

Off screen I: "Yes, the thing."

Igor: "And if I say it, you'll take this off of the air. So I will not say it."

Off screen II: "Exactly."

Igor: "So the thing I will not-"

(broadcast interrupts)

(broadcast resumes)

Igor: "Why'd you do that?"

Off screen I: "No. One. Must. Know."

Igor: "When can I say it?"

Off screen I: "I'll tell you later. If I told this to you on air, then it'll start the situation we wanted to avoid."

Igor: "There's a real life in the league?"

Off screen I: "Duh. You didn't know? Oh right, you're kind of stupid."

Igor: "I AM NOT STUPID! Listen, I made the adhesive using 100 grams of-"

Off screen II: "That failed..."

Igor: "And on my last hiking trip, I started a fire-"

Off screen II: "That burned my bag..."

Igor: "And when I tested the trigonometric functions that form a Fourier series of-"

Off screen II: "We get it. You're a stupid guy trying to be smart."

Igor: "I will announce the secret that you are forcing me to hide."

Off screen I: "Do it and we will we ban you from the air."

Igor: "I want-"

Off screen II: "Do it and I will tell your entire locker room not to tie your skates ever again."

Igor: "Fine! I won't! I admit it! I'm the strong beast with my skates untied... I don't know how to tie my hockey skates! I admit this publicly on air! I do!"

Off screen III: "Is that the secret you guys wanted to- oh wait, you're still broadcasting."

Off screen II: "The secret is-"

(broadcast interrupts)

(broadcast resumes)

Off screen II: "And what's why we cannot tell it. It will cause drama. Igor doesn't seem to understand this."

Igor: "Okay, enough for one day. I'm sick of redoing this. (looks down) Rick, you're tying these shoes here."

Off screen I: "MY NAME IS NOT RIIIII-"

(broadcast ends)

[Image: ZWjBixo.png]
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#2

................I like Igor. Igor gives no shits.

[Image: gWQ5N7S.png]
First Goal: Emeka Valentine-Okoli 1 (Mikelis Ozoliņš 4, Loki Odinsson 3) at 3:12, 2nd Period (GWG) / SMJHL S47 Game 47 Day 12: Colorado Raptors vs Detroit Falcons

Onwards we roll, Raptors
Current Fight Song: Eminem ft. Lucas Joyner - Lucky You
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#3

Well, Igor is a personality not to be messed with.

[Image: ZWjBixo.png]
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