07-18-2020, 08:37 PM
Hello everyone and welcome back to who gives a fuck 2x draft media with me your host Stan Savern. Today we dive in deep and look at the winners and losers of another SHL draft, a time of year that gives many fans hope and optimism as well as leaving some fans saying WHAT THE FUCK. its tough to remember for some but signability is a big deal as well as personality, these factors along with ability and tpe typically help GMS make there decision. So without much horseshit coming out of my mouth i throw it over to seasoned scout guy junker whos going to take a look at some of these fine young individuals. Once we are done diving into the young hearts and minds of these future stars and champions we will take a thorough team by team analysis of these new members of the SHL.
FIRST UP AND HEADED TO THE San Francisco Pride - Rikard Bjerg
Bjerg is a big bruising dman standing 6’3 and weighing 215 pounds ( not sure of the conversion to stones} a very solid all around player and apparently really loved by many GMS. it seems he has interviewed well and really projects to be a great player at the next level. Of course only time can really tell you what will happen but im sure san fran is happy with this pick as many teams wanted Bjerg. Bjerg also known as agent smith does do streams on twitch which i just realized due to a notification welp hes to you mr number 1!
COMING IN AT DOS number 2 and 1 before 3 Going to the soon to be greatest orginazation ever drumrollllllllllllllllllll PLEASE…… ITTTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS TIMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
WITH THE NUMBER 2 Selevction in the SHL DRAFT THE Tampa Bay Barracuda SELECT Colin Lambert OUT OF well where ever the hell he is playing from BUT NOW HE IS mr Barracuda MR who let the dogs out MRRRRRRRRRRRRRR listen here its a dynasty coming and he owes no one anything. But seriously RUMHAM is a 320 currently tpe player top in his class with money so big the color green is jealous. He once bought and paid for the smjhl playoffs he is damn near the rich we so wanna eat. RUMHAM along with MANY cuda players we will get to are going to roll the shl and start a superteam that even lebron james would be jealous of. Count your days SHL THERES A CHOMP COMING THROUGH so i hope you brought your toothpaste. Back to rum ham though a legit chance at 2000tpe and a basement of 1800 sure fire absolute mega addition to the SHL next dynasty salute to you sir.
Coming in next on the list is………… THE Toronto North Stars and hadouken Ryu Jones.
RYU really shot up boards with his work at the combine when people found out he trained with colonel guile and famous street fighters a late first round pick catapaltued to third overall toronto is either gonna get a great scorer or someone who can at least kick the teeth out of there enemies either way fuck em ITS RYU TTIME HAYDUEKN. It seems at the next level RYU is going for a traditional playmaker role, if he develops as planned he could find himself in a great position to rack up the apples playing with such studs as bobby lane and others as I always say only time will tell.
Moving on from the joke that is toronto (not really i kid guys don't thunder dome me [ AND WERE ON TO NUMBA FOURRRRRR
THE reigning SHL CHAMPIONS they have decided to select New Orleans takes Connor Hutton From the Carolina Kracken!!!!!!
My opinion of hutton he could've went first overall, hes a traditional down the middle defenseman with good solid skating ability passing and able to play the body. Certainly no weakness in his game so far the offence i think will come later as it does with most great defencemen but for now the kid has IT. every tool in the bag is sharp and ready for service not many have it this together at this stage of their careers. Being coached by fuzz and jimmy wagner the sky is the absolute fucking limit for this kid and teams better fear this stud for years to come.
We come to our first commercial break ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ do you have trouble peeing? Do you not know when its time to go? Well have we got something for u FLACI DICKX.
Alright enough of that nonsense its on to number FIVE 5 Texas Renegades select Theo Kondos out of somewhere!!!!!!!!!!!! Hailing from anchorage and sporting an 383 tpe the highest is his class IS MR KONDOS other wise known as Python pete by those closest to him. Without a doubt a man to be reckoned with and someone you dont wanna see in open ice. Actually just kidding the youngster is a sniper. Fuck my scouting report just here to crack cold ones and bring the boys to my yard! Tell jruttu!! To be continued tommrow.
Its not tomorrow and we r fucking back vet visits over time to do more TALKIN. At number 6 our next pick is not just a great hockey player but also a decorated water polo player who holds with them the hopes and dreams of a small city in oceania. COMING in at 6 iss…... Teddy Park
Defencmen Out of KELOWANAAAAAAAAA. Teddy also medaled in the 2018 summer games as an alternate for water polo GOOd stuff there teddy bear. A strong stay at home dman the scouting report may read bland but let that be what gets you knocked on your ass by teddy park, better keep that head on a swivel out there teddy aint playing no games son. Put you between a rock and a hard place real quick my man even got arrested for calling in a bomb threat to granma bingo this dude is a wrecking ball beware shl. Moving ahead here we come to number 7 which is where Devin Basher goes to the minnesota chiefs!!!!! I before e except after cheifs, devin is another great standout as he had a 4.0 in high school and also won most likely to join a communist rebellion well done sir! The right winger playing out of parts unknown as well as vancouver is a solid pick up here at 7 an excellent passer with good wheels he makes great plays and always keeps his head up even when under water. Seriously huge pickup for this franchise as they get a guaranteed playmaker to set up snipers for years to come. On a lighter note he also volunteers time at the local puppy shelter a plus character guy. Coming in now as we keep pushing through at numberrrr 8. The New England Wolfpack select Alexander Oscarsson OUt of the Maine Timber system!!!! This is just what new england needed to sure up some fire power for the future this kid is an absolute animal and all around scoring freak. With some progression this may not be another ola wagstrom but hes got great hands amazing playmaking ability and his sense is almost next level. He spends his down time mostly watching old episodes of match game as well as cutting his neighbors' grass. When he's not doing that he tends to steal shopping carts from the local ymca MY MAN! Enough with the first half of the draft now we move on to the second half of future greatness. At number 9 this kid was waiting a little longer then expected but the name was finally called at 9 it is the Calgary Dragons selecting Chris Goodname dman out of Kelowna. Goodname is a monster on both ends of the ice with amazing hockey sense no question about it the kid has that and endurance for days he's a marathon runner in his down time as well as an avid chess player. This pick could pay off in spades for Calgary in the years to come; perhaps this guy is the next otis b driftwood! That would be quite the selection if it turns out that way for the dragons. Ok we've come to the decade pick aka NUMBER TEN DIAZ LET'S GET TO IT!!!! At the first pick in double digits we have…………..Edmonton Blizzard Select Axel Foley FRANCHISE DEFENMEN OUT OF CAROLINA……..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Axel is a stud great cash earner and amazing all around player and person, the guys a beast in every aspect. If you have had the chance to meet this former missionary then you know you to have been touched by an angel. He literally picks up trash on the side of the road for fun. He doesn't talk about change, he is the CHANGE! A sure fire future hall of famer. I do not feel scared making that jump in all honesty. I'll be shocked if he doesn't win multiple MVP awards, another in a long line of kraken greats! With that said i wish we could roll some highlights of our boy but this is a text based document so it's a whole lotta NAW. We are continuing to move on here to number 11 Guðmundur Kristjánsson Taken by New Englad!!!! Guðmundur Kristjánsson out of colorado is a great raw talent who gets open, puts up shots and can dish the puck. He just needs to work on his senses and this kid will be a grade a scorer at the next level. It's great that he has time to work on some things in the j for a while. When not playing hockey this one frequents tinder and goes on long walks at the trampoline park as well as community bingo a real hero to the people here this buds for you! NOW ITS TIME FOR TAMPA TUESDAY TO GET ANOTHER CORNER STONE PICK HERE BABY IT IS FUCKING Igor Victory!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS IGOR TIME and if ya aint heard you better recognize who the fucks in the building son. He does alot of things and being upstairs listening to his will smith cd is not one of them igor will be victory and victory will be igor. Fresh out of finland rocking the 313 my man is keeping that most stable build i've seen all day completely well rounded and showing weakness nowhere. Everyone shall know victoryhs name come s60 LOOK THE FUCK OUT LEAGUE. Ok now back to lame teams Edmonton at 13 takes Terrence "Big Terry" Smith dman coming out of colorado. Terry has strong sense and amazing defensive ability if you need a solid stay at home guy look no further. It's said that at terry's house there are pictures of terry crews as one big terry looks up to another big terry salute sir!
Next up at 14 its BACK TO YOUR TAMPA BAY BARRACUDA TAKING THE NEXT BIG PIECE IN THE ULTIMATE REBUILD!!!!!! Jöörgüštrâäd DuBølk TO MOTHERFUCKIN TAMPA and back where he belongs baby lets GOOOOOOO. MCP IS THE MAN and is back home to the promised land MCP LIKES bike riding on water and feeding the needy no doubt a superb honest human being to put in the LR. on another note don't play the guy in finger skateboards he is next level on that stuff WELCOME BACK MCP! Back to new england at number 15 they take Ryan Rieley Winger from colorado! A really good scorer and not much else development is what this guy needs and i'm sure he will get it as time passes! BACK TO TAMPA 16 LETS FUCKING OG!!! Adrik Baranov A OFFENSIVE GENIUS on the blueline from the maine timber!!!!!! This character sure is a character and can make you pay in a quick way on the back end. Another member of the amazing s 55 tampa draft that should reign over the shl for eons. Its honestly crazy to think of what tampa is getting in there system in this draft there are nothing but bright days ahead for the cuda this team is going to be stacked and theres no questions about it jeeeez this is wild. Adrik loves to hold hands after a very long day at work which includes skipping rocks on the river and throwing away half empty cigarette packs SALUTE TO U MY FREN! Number 1 in the second round!@@ TURG TURGTURG TURGTURG TURGTURG TURG!!!! MY MAN TURG a legend already on site and a legend in your heart this one here is an absoulte gem no one does it better hes bigly the greatest of my time and the best of yours lets fucking go tampa
FIRST UP AND HEADED TO THE San Francisco Pride - Rikard Bjerg
Bjerg is a big bruising dman standing 6’3 and weighing 215 pounds ( not sure of the conversion to stones} a very solid all around player and apparently really loved by many GMS. it seems he has interviewed well and really projects to be a great player at the next level. Of course only time can really tell you what will happen but im sure san fran is happy with this pick as many teams wanted Bjerg. Bjerg also known as agent smith does do streams on twitch which i just realized due to a notification welp hes to you mr number 1!
COMING IN AT DOS number 2 and 1 before 3 Going to the soon to be greatest orginazation ever drumrollllllllllllllllllll PLEASE…… ITTTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS TIMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
WITH THE NUMBER 2 Selevction in the SHL DRAFT THE Tampa Bay Barracuda SELECT Colin Lambert OUT OF well where ever the hell he is playing from BUT NOW HE IS mr Barracuda MR who let the dogs out MRRRRRRRRRRRRRR listen here its a dynasty coming and he owes no one anything. But seriously RUMHAM is a 320 currently tpe player top in his class with money so big the color green is jealous. He once bought and paid for the smjhl playoffs he is damn near the rich we so wanna eat. RUMHAM along with MANY cuda players we will get to are going to roll the shl and start a superteam that even lebron james would be jealous of. Count your days SHL THERES A CHOMP COMING THROUGH so i hope you brought your toothpaste. Back to rum ham though a legit chance at 2000tpe and a basement of 1800 sure fire absolute mega addition to the SHL next dynasty salute to you sir.
Coming in next on the list is………… THE Toronto North Stars and hadouken Ryu Jones.
RYU really shot up boards with his work at the combine when people found out he trained with colonel guile and famous street fighters a late first round pick catapaltued to third overall toronto is either gonna get a great scorer or someone who can at least kick the teeth out of there enemies either way fuck em ITS RYU TTIME HAYDUEKN. It seems at the next level RYU is going for a traditional playmaker role, if he develops as planned he could find himself in a great position to rack up the apples playing with such studs as bobby lane and others as I always say only time will tell.
Moving on from the joke that is toronto (not really i kid guys don't thunder dome me [ AND WERE ON TO NUMBA FOURRRRRR
THE reigning SHL CHAMPIONS they have decided to select New Orleans takes Connor Hutton From the Carolina Kracken!!!!!!
My opinion of hutton he could've went first overall, hes a traditional down the middle defenseman with good solid skating ability passing and able to play the body. Certainly no weakness in his game so far the offence i think will come later as it does with most great defencemen but for now the kid has IT. every tool in the bag is sharp and ready for service not many have it this together at this stage of their careers. Being coached by fuzz and jimmy wagner the sky is the absolute fucking limit for this kid and teams better fear this stud for years to come.
We come to our first commercial break ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ do you have trouble peeing? Do you not know when its time to go? Well have we got something for u FLACI DICKX.
Alright enough of that nonsense its on to number FIVE 5 Texas Renegades select Theo Kondos out of somewhere!!!!!!!!!!!! Hailing from anchorage and sporting an 383 tpe the highest is his class IS MR KONDOS other wise known as Python pete by those closest to him. Without a doubt a man to be reckoned with and someone you dont wanna see in open ice. Actually just kidding the youngster is a sniper. Fuck my scouting report just here to crack cold ones and bring the boys to my yard! Tell jruttu!! To be continued tommrow.
Its not tomorrow and we r fucking back vet visits over time to do more TALKIN. At number 6 our next pick is not just a great hockey player but also a decorated water polo player who holds with them the hopes and dreams of a small city in oceania. COMING in at 6 iss…... Teddy Park
Defencmen Out of KELOWANAAAAAAAAA. Teddy also medaled in the 2018 summer games as an alternate for water polo GOOd stuff there teddy bear. A strong stay at home dman the scouting report may read bland but let that be what gets you knocked on your ass by teddy park, better keep that head on a swivel out there teddy aint playing no games son. Put you between a rock and a hard place real quick my man even got arrested for calling in a bomb threat to granma bingo this dude is a wrecking ball beware shl. Moving ahead here we come to number 7 which is where Devin Basher goes to the minnesota chiefs!!!!! I before e except after cheifs, devin is another great standout as he had a 4.0 in high school and also won most likely to join a communist rebellion well done sir! The right winger playing out of parts unknown as well as vancouver is a solid pick up here at 7 an excellent passer with good wheels he makes great plays and always keeps his head up even when under water. Seriously huge pickup for this franchise as they get a guaranteed playmaker to set up snipers for years to come. On a lighter note he also volunteers time at the local puppy shelter a plus character guy. Coming in now as we keep pushing through at numberrrr 8. The New England Wolfpack select Alexander Oscarsson OUt of the Maine Timber system!!!! This is just what new england needed to sure up some fire power for the future this kid is an absolute animal and all around scoring freak. With some progression this may not be another ola wagstrom but hes got great hands amazing playmaking ability and his sense is almost next level. He spends his down time mostly watching old episodes of match game as well as cutting his neighbors' grass. When he's not doing that he tends to steal shopping carts from the local ymca MY MAN! Enough with the first half of the draft now we move on to the second half of future greatness. At number 9 this kid was waiting a little longer then expected but the name was finally called at 9 it is the Calgary Dragons selecting Chris Goodname dman out of Kelowna. Goodname is a monster on both ends of the ice with amazing hockey sense no question about it the kid has that and endurance for days he's a marathon runner in his down time as well as an avid chess player. This pick could pay off in spades for Calgary in the years to come; perhaps this guy is the next otis b driftwood! That would be quite the selection if it turns out that way for the dragons. Ok we've come to the decade pick aka NUMBER TEN DIAZ LET'S GET TO IT!!!! At the first pick in double digits we have…………..Edmonton Blizzard Select Axel Foley FRANCHISE DEFENMEN OUT OF CAROLINA……..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Axel is a stud great cash earner and amazing all around player and person, the guys a beast in every aspect. If you have had the chance to meet this former missionary then you know you to have been touched by an angel. He literally picks up trash on the side of the road for fun. He doesn't talk about change, he is the CHANGE! A sure fire future hall of famer. I do not feel scared making that jump in all honesty. I'll be shocked if he doesn't win multiple MVP awards, another in a long line of kraken greats! With that said i wish we could roll some highlights of our boy but this is a text based document so it's a whole lotta NAW. We are continuing to move on here to number 11 Guðmundur Kristjánsson Taken by New Englad!!!! Guðmundur Kristjánsson out of colorado is a great raw talent who gets open, puts up shots and can dish the puck. He just needs to work on his senses and this kid will be a grade a scorer at the next level. It's great that he has time to work on some things in the j for a while. When not playing hockey this one frequents tinder and goes on long walks at the trampoline park as well as community bingo a real hero to the people here this buds for you! NOW ITS TIME FOR TAMPA TUESDAY TO GET ANOTHER CORNER STONE PICK HERE BABY IT IS FUCKING Igor Victory!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS IGOR TIME and if ya aint heard you better recognize who the fucks in the building son. He does alot of things and being upstairs listening to his will smith cd is not one of them igor will be victory and victory will be igor. Fresh out of finland rocking the 313 my man is keeping that most stable build i've seen all day completely well rounded and showing weakness nowhere. Everyone shall know victoryhs name come s60 LOOK THE FUCK OUT LEAGUE. Ok now back to lame teams Edmonton at 13 takes Terrence "Big Terry" Smith dman coming out of colorado. Terry has strong sense and amazing defensive ability if you need a solid stay at home guy look no further. It's said that at terry's house there are pictures of terry crews as one big terry looks up to another big terry salute sir!
Next up at 14 its BACK TO YOUR TAMPA BAY BARRACUDA TAKING THE NEXT BIG PIECE IN THE ULTIMATE REBUILD!!!!!! Jöörgüštrâäd DuBølk TO MOTHERFUCKIN TAMPA and back where he belongs baby lets GOOOOOOO. MCP IS THE MAN and is back home to the promised land MCP LIKES bike riding on water and feeding the needy no doubt a superb honest human being to put in the LR. on another note don't play the guy in finger skateboards he is next level on that stuff WELCOME BACK MCP! Back to new england at number 15 they take Ryan Rieley Winger from colorado! A really good scorer and not much else development is what this guy needs and i'm sure he will get it as time passes! BACK TO TAMPA 16 LETS FUCKING OG!!! Adrik Baranov A OFFENSIVE GENIUS on the blueline from the maine timber!!!!!! This character sure is a character and can make you pay in a quick way on the back end. Another member of the amazing s 55 tampa draft that should reign over the shl for eons. Its honestly crazy to think of what tampa is getting in there system in this draft there are nothing but bright days ahead for the cuda this team is going to be stacked and theres no questions about it jeeeez this is wild. Adrik loves to hold hands after a very long day at work which includes skipping rocks on the river and throwing away half empty cigarette packs SALUTE TO U MY FREN! Number 1 in the second round!@@ TURG TURGTURG TURGTURG TURGTURG TURG!!!! MY MAN TURG a legend already on site and a legend in your heart this one here is an absoulte gem no one does it better hes bigly the greatest of my time and the best of yours lets fucking go tampa