Simulation Hockey League

Full Version: S56 PT #3 - Subscription Service
You're currently viewing a stripped down version of our content. View the full version with proper formatting.
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18
Kaarlo Kekkonen will be launching a luxury concierge service for the elite residents of Dallas, Texas. The service will be based around an app that customers will pay $20 to download, before they then pay a further monthly membership of $100 to use the app. There will then be further opportunities for users to spend money within the app on the products that they want. The app is aimed at the elite socialites of the 18-30 age group, and will give them the opportunity to purchase tickets to exclusive events, access to unique experiences and anything else that they could want. As a professional athlete in the city, he is seen as an aspirational figure and the perfect person to launch this type of venture. Although this might sound like a scam, Kaarlo is very quick to point out that the app is not a scam and provides great opportunities for its users at a cost that makes sense. It's also understood that a 50% charge is added to all in-app purchases to really make sure they can cover their costs and then some. Given that Kaarlo has taken the minimum contract each season in the league, it isn't surprising that this is what he's having to resort to in order to make some cash.

Code:
215 words
In today’s COVID era, gyms being closed have caused people to be unable to do work outs with the same regularity that they used to. But fear not! Jakob Hamr’s personal trainer subscription service is here for you. Select how many times per weak you would like a trainer to come to your residence for an outdoor, socially distant workout. Equipment such as dumbbells and barbells can be rented for the duration of your subscription, and trainer will come to you to help you use them. That plus cardio and bodyweight workouts will get you strong like Hamr. Lots of people have sadly gotten a bit out of shape in these tough times, so be the person that comes back from lockdown to your office absolutely yoked. Workouts are on a tiered basis depending on your physical ability, ranging from reflex hammer to sledgehammer. Be big and strong and ready to fight!
Danny Marston has signed a six-month trial deal with Amazon for a subscription box of various lifestyle items that he uses in his daily life. Basically, for $60 every two months, you can get a box of random copies of stuff that Danny has ordered from Amazon. Example Box A includes orange stick tape, a red and yellow doggy pull-rope (Scarecrow colors, for Rudy's entertainment), an Amazon Basics knit sweater in Toronto blue, and a 10-foot long USB-C charging cable. Example Box B includes a 30-count box of single-use cold compresses, a dark red Nike hoodie, a paperback copy of "The Ultimate Dad Joke Book", and a small rechargeable desk fan. If all goes well, the box would become a regular fixture and part of an expanding program that includes other celebrities. Draft season is heralded by a box with a new tie and cufflinks set with matching socks, pens, and a tablet case. The trade deadline is marked by a stress ball and lavender chamomile tea.

So far, the tests are inconclusive as to whether it will pass the pilot program. Test groups suggest popularity might increase when he's "actually won something".
Mitchell van der Heijden is a man of few sponsorships; while he has some sponsorships he's pretty picky so he doesn't have a lot of them. However, one subscription service really caught the young Swiss star's eye, and he signed up for it on the spot. That, ladies and gentlemen, was Mitchell van der Heijden's Clogs Central. You see, Mitchell is a proud wearer of Dutch or Swiss clogs. He's proud of where he comes from and the culture of the area he is from partly directs his style of clothing, especially shoes. He enjoys wearing clogs which he sees as both comfortable and stylish. Mitchell van der Heijden's Clogs Central is a pretty simple subscription service; you pay a small fee of $5 a month and you get your own personalized clogs sent to you every single month. While it may be a niche topic Mitchell is proud to have his name on a brand which is about something so dear to his heart.
As an up and coming player in the SHL, I've had a few companies reach out to me wanting me to promote a new product or star in a commercial, things like that. This last time, however, someone reached out to me to be the face of a new subscription service. I would of never thought that a subscription service would need me to endorse it, but they came to me with a really cool idea.

This new subscription service is for fans of two things, rocks and The Simpsons. What they would do is send you a pet rock once a week, totalling 52 pet rocks a year. Now, what also comes with it is a decorating kit for a specific Simpsons character. The idea is to follow the instructions in order to transform the pet rock into that character. It's something you can do with your kids, it's something that collectors will love, and it marries my love of The Simpsons with my extra cool name. Needless to say, I agreed.

Be on the lookout for Rock Strongo's Pet Rocks: Simpsons Edition.

(184 words)
The one thing that a company would love to have branded after an SHL player is the mythical "PT PASS" that only a few people have ever seen. I think the SHL would love to have a MIchaud branded PT PASS being sold for some of the higher value jobs on the site and this would make more players want to purchase one of these. Moving forward this brand identity would be a great asset for the company as a whole because people love Michaud and everything that he stands for. It would help to symbolize the fact that these are the guys who will show up each and every week to get as much done as they need to do. THe just here to show up and do my job ideology that Michaud has is a great brand for the SHL PT PASS so this is the best move for the league to make.
The ethical veggie burger subscription service was shut down because of Julio's obvious lack of ethics. However, this invited a new business opportunity: Party Milk.
Party Milk is the first subscription service that brings fresh milk to your door every night of the 2 week period where the SHL doesn't drug test during the off-season. Leave your jugs outside of your door and our delivery team will make a deposit right after bar-close every night. With a drug and booze-infused milk cocktail, you'll be drunk and high after just a pint of the sweet liquor lactose. The drug and dram cocktail is curated by Julio Tokolosh himself. His commitment to get unapproachably drunk and high can be passed on to you by means of Party Milk. Vodka filter twice by charcoal and once by mammary will really do the job in your cereal to get your saturday kicked off right. Others will wait until the evening to really ride the lightning into the night. Each night is a surprise to you and to Julio as the pill-colada is passed onto/into you.

Pregame with Party Milk tonight!

Only sold in Europe and the US because Julio doesn't milk into bags. Sorrey Canucks.
Liam Slate was offered a new sponsorship deal for a new online gaming chat application similar to discord but called "Pepe Chat". This service is used for those online and gamers to successfully chat with their friends and or voice chat with their friends. Pepe Chat is a new a cheaper alternative to Discord but is more effective and better. This service provides users with an original base of pepe the frog emoji's and then the subscription comes through. They have also secured a deal with Youtube which makes Pepe Chat a solid investment to make right now due to being attached to Youtube like Discord is to Twitch. The Subscription service gives those who subscribe better service through more access to pepe the frog emoji's, more servers, more room in servers for people joining, etc. Liam is eager to take on this new opportunity because Discord Nitro is rather expensive and Slate is a big fan of gaming chats as well as his Pepe's. When his Nitro runs out he struggles not having his Pepe's to use. That is why Liam Slate is the new face of Pepe Chat !

Code:
194 Words
When Alexander Roach got drafted to Buffalo, he was really excited by one particular prospect of moving to the city. Buffalo is a town that is famous for their chicken wings, specifically buffalo wings, and Alexander really loves wings. So he has teamed up with all of the great local wing places to bring a wing of the week service to Buffalo and the surrounding area. The idea is that once a week, or maybe once a month, not sure on the timing yet, you will get a sampler of one particular wing joint, with all of their best options. Bringing you everything from signature sides, to delicious appetizers, and of course top of the line wings, this service will be great for everyone! Wings lovers, sports fanatics, or even just someone looking to try out something new will all love my new wing delivery service! We are testing the market in Buffalo, with plans to expand to other areas of upstate New York, and perhaps to the other side of the border into the big cities of Hamilton and Toronto.

181 Words
Slim Jim has approached Kata Vilde, son of WWE and Slim Jim legend Randy Macho Man Savage to launch a subscription to their new lines of beef sticks. While there are many many people who love to snap into the original Slim Jims, with the world trying to be more health conscious these days the company has removed all the artificial ingredients from the original stick while still maintaining that classic flavor. They've also decided to add a chicken option as well fror those who are looking for a lower fat alternative. They also have a couple different flavors such as Teriyaki and BBQ Slim Jims as well as a spicy habenero one. And finally they have launched the Impossible Slim Jim for the vegetarian crowd, made completely of plant based materials. Vilde was skeptical at first but he was able to get that same snap from the Impossible one just as in the original. Satisfied that the company is keeping the legacy of the original alive Vilde has agreed to help launch these new products with variety pack subscriptions as well as individual flavor options. Need a little excitement? SNAP INTO AN IMPOSSIBLE SLIM JIM!!!!!!
Kaspars Claude is a huge barstool sports guy. And with the new deal that he had made with Penn National, that is Barstool and Penn National Gaming, Kaspars Claude is very interested in joining the Barstool team for some gambling picks and some gambling predictions.
Kaspars is well aware of the conflict of interest he has with hockey gambling and playing in the SHL so he will just be joining the Barstool sports gambling team for NFL sundays. It also works out perfectly with the schedule because the SHL has no games being played on sundays as of right now. So for the current season, Kaspars will be able to join the panel for the pick em's and maybe even fly from New Orleans to the gambling house in Philadelphia to chill with Dave Portnoy and Big Cat and the boys.
If Kaspars can even do some gambling picks with Stu Feiner that would be great. Stu Feiner, the Source as they call him, is pure entertainment and is a genius when it comes to making terrible football picks. The Sports Advisors with Barstool is a weekly episode of pentertainment and comedy and Kaspars can hopefully become a member of that team
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18