04-26-2023, 01:57 PM
Breaking News
Reporters claimed sights of former SHL hockey player Edward Williams back in the United States. Williams is well known amongst hockey fans in both the States and across the pond in England. Williams was supposedly back in his hometown of Stockport, Manchester in England after retirement from the SHL. Edward Williams, now 38 years of age, has not been seen since, so journalists were unable to confirm that the sighting is actually Williams.
One journalist, Frank Dogwater, was in New York City when he spotted a man resembling Williams step out of a limo. Dogwater was able to snap a few photographs. He noted that while it looks tremendously like Williams, it was unclear whether the supposed hockey star had grown a mustache or taped a fake one to his lip. Dogwater pulled out a recording device and microphone for a quick comment.
Dogwater: Edward Williams? Why are you back in the United States? Where have you been?
Williams (speaking in an odd French accent over an English accent): Uhh, I am not zis… how you say… Williams…
Dogwater: Why are you speaking in a ridiculous French accent?
Williams: I waz ridiculed out of zis country and forced to… how you say… retire…. I mean… I don’t know English… au revoir…
Dogwater: Is it true that you are physically unfit to ever play hockey at any level ever again?
Williams: What… I… you… let’s just say… be prepared to see someone on the ice zis season… Willia-uh… Zilliams…
Dogwater: Who will we be seeing on the ice?
Zilliams: You will see Zedward Zilliams… okay bonjour, au revoir…
End of interview.
Well there you have it folks. The reporter did indeed mistake Edward Williams for a new potential hockey star, Zedward Zilliams. For a strapping young player such as Zedward, be prepared to see him and his mustache in the SMJHL next season.
Reporters claimed sights of former SHL hockey player Edward Williams back in the United States. Williams is well known amongst hockey fans in both the States and across the pond in England. Williams was supposedly back in his hometown of Stockport, Manchester in England after retirement from the SHL. Edward Williams, now 38 years of age, has not been seen since, so journalists were unable to confirm that the sighting is actually Williams.
One journalist, Frank Dogwater, was in New York City when he spotted a man resembling Williams step out of a limo. Dogwater was able to snap a few photographs. He noted that while it looks tremendously like Williams, it was unclear whether the supposed hockey star had grown a mustache or taped a fake one to his lip. Dogwater pulled out a recording device and microphone for a quick comment.
Dogwater: Edward Williams? Why are you back in the United States? Where have you been?
Williams (speaking in an odd French accent over an English accent): Uhh, I am not zis… how you say… Williams…
Dogwater: Why are you speaking in a ridiculous French accent?
Williams: I waz ridiculed out of zis country and forced to… how you say… retire…. I mean… I don’t know English… au revoir…
Dogwater: Is it true that you are physically unfit to ever play hockey at any level ever again?
Williams: What… I… you… let’s just say… be prepared to see someone on the ice zis season… Willia-uh… Zilliams…
Dogwater: Who will we be seeing on the ice?
Zilliams: You will see Zedward Zilliams… okay bonjour, au revoir…
End of interview.
Well there you have it folks. The reporter did indeed mistake Edward Williams for a new potential hockey star, Zedward Zilliams. For a strapping young player such as Zedward, be prepared to see him and his mustache in the SMJHL next season.