06-09-2013, 02:54 PM
Hello SHL
![[Image: new_york_sun_masthead.jpg]](http://nikolasschiller.com/images/masthead/new_york_sun_masthead.jpg)
“It is playoff time. Well unless you are a team based out of Florida… but when your team tries to drum up support for their franchise with cheap gimmicks like making your team colours America’s and having a solider on the front in an attempt to appeal to the overzealous nationalistic sentiment of the average American… You shouldn’t make the playoffs anyways.” – Benoit Charlebois
It has almost been a calendar year since Benoit Charlebois has made a public statement in the press this was broke this morning when the Manhattan Quebeco-Anarchist Separatist D-Man walked into a press conference which was supposed to feature Grossy.
![[Image: sam_warburton1_2027824c.jpg]](http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02027/sam_warburton1_2027824c.jpg)
Charlebois managed to answer three questions before he was carted off the stage by a furious GM Diamond Ace (what a pretentious name for anyone to take, seriously his parents didn’t give him that name… I bet his name is like Dick Cummings or something.)
Generic Male Reporter: Charlebois, you have been away from the media for some time… why is that?
Charlebois: Because my General Manager beat me with Ivo’s stick the last time I went on stage. He chose Ivo’s stick because he plays with a perfectly flat stick. Which explains why he can’t fucking score and has been a useless shit in the playoffs. People started putting curves fifty years ago and this Dutch bastard still skating around in a pair of Clogs!
![[Image: tumblr_lnht5iW2HR1qljp5bo1_400.jpg]](https://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lnht5iW2HR1qljp5bo1_400.jpg)
Generic Female Reporter: Why are you so aggravated? Manhattan Rage has come back from a two game deficit in the series!
Charlebois: Why am I aggravated? Our General Manager took my booze. Little does that prick know that me and his Co-GM Borgi have been shit faced this entire season HA! Shows him. I mean how his he so blind that he can’t tell Kulikov has been drunk all season? Look at the damn numbers! I can hide it because I don’t need to skate to be effective but they keep this plug in the top six because he has connections. Can’t win anything with that kind of politics dictating the roster.
Generic Female Reporter Who Only Got Hired Because She Has Other “Assets”: How is the family?
Charlebois: I don’t have a family, they died when I was but a wee boy, if you read my first article about myself you’d know that but since you obviously aren’t qualified and probably had to do some “extra field work” to get this job I can’t expect you to know that.
After that last comment both head and assist GM’s turned off the microphone and opened the trap door beneath and sent Grossy out to field questions.
![[Image: CFL-Fight.jpg]](http://hypervocal.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/CFL-Fight.jpg)
Now these comments from Charlebois obviously must be taken in with a grain of salt. The man is a perennial drunk, antagonist, commie. These character flaws put his credibility into question.
But these answers given by Charlebois leave us with a few very solid and worthwhile questions.
Firstly, why has Charlebois been avoiding the media? Our team of investigative journalists followed Charlebois to find out what he has been hiding from the world… Unfortunately we lost track of our journalists near Charlebois’s home and they have yet to return to help us answer this question. Their disappearance however leaves us to believe that Charlebois is hatching a sinister plot… one that might come to light once these playoffs have come to an end!
We can only wonder what sort of terrible plan this nutzo extremist is brewing in his Manhattan Lair.
Is there internal strife in the historically happy go lucky Locker Room in Manhattan?
The answer is maybe. We do not actually have access. But we can speculate with our panel of ex-semi successful-pro players. Our panel of “experts” believes that with the additions of big names Willems, Winter, St H, and Ocho the original core members of the Rage are being pushed to the sidelines. This may have turned into an animosity so hot it could lead Manhattan to be ousted in the first round. Major issues are seen between Willems and JNH who both have high hopes for their futures in the SHL and neither will let anyone get in the way.
Finlay… Why does Ivo Williams skate in Clogs?
Because he is dutch. I mean that makes sense. He probably proud of their heritage… or something.
This headlines will likely dominate the news waves for days!
What does this mean for the Manhattan-Toronto series? It will probably lead to a long series because the games look like they are close and the series might go on a while. But you know what! That’s okay because sports are simply a money making tool for the rich! They want long series so that people will continue to shell out their dollars to watch a bunch of people walk around on slippery shit with sticks! Until society realizes that sports is only there to distract them from the ineptitude of their political systems/leaders there will never be change!
The SHL is a tool of fascist America. Spangle is in on it! We all saw how quickly Edmonton’s experiment with communism was crushed! This is further proof! What more do the people need! We must rise up against our unjust rulers! Fight for a just world! Maybe we can incorporate hockey into it somehow but everyone must realize that as of this moment our love for the best game on earth is being abused by powers greater than us so they can rule our lives and make decisions that we as a society would never agree to!
![[Image: bp1.jpg]](http://inapcache.boston.com/universal/site_graphics/blogs/bigpicture/london_riots/bp1.jpg)
Let the SHL be the start of the great revolution! Let us lead the way! This challenge falls on the winner of this season! Whoever wins must act and use their popularity amongst the masses to convert them to the path of riotousness, I would like to point out that the word riot is in riotousness so rioting for this cause is completely acceptable and encouraged :D
Stay Classy SHL
#RageFor Cup
#TeamSiren
Love You All.
Words: 1001
Pictures:
“It is playoff time. Well unless you are a team based out of Florida… but when your team tries to drum up support for their franchise with cheap gimmicks like making your team colours America’s and having a solider on the front in an attempt to appeal to the overzealous nationalistic sentiment of the average American… You shouldn’t make the playoffs anyways.” – Benoit Charlebois
It has almost been a calendar year since Benoit Charlebois has made a public statement in the press this was broke this morning when the Manhattan Quebeco-Anarchist Separatist D-Man walked into a press conference which was supposed to feature Grossy.
Charlebois managed to answer three questions before he was carted off the stage by a furious GM Diamond Ace (what a pretentious name for anyone to take, seriously his parents didn’t give him that name… I bet his name is like Dick Cummings or something.)
Generic Male Reporter: Charlebois, you have been away from the media for some time… why is that?
Charlebois: Because my General Manager beat me with Ivo’s stick the last time I went on stage. He chose Ivo’s stick because he plays with a perfectly flat stick. Which explains why he can’t fucking score and has been a useless shit in the playoffs. People started putting curves fifty years ago and this Dutch bastard still skating around in a pair of Clogs!
Generic Female Reporter: Why are you so aggravated? Manhattan Rage has come back from a two game deficit in the series!
Charlebois: Why am I aggravated? Our General Manager took my booze. Little does that prick know that me and his Co-GM Borgi have been shit faced this entire season HA! Shows him. I mean how his he so blind that he can’t tell Kulikov has been drunk all season? Look at the damn numbers! I can hide it because I don’t need to skate to be effective but they keep this plug in the top six because he has connections. Can’t win anything with that kind of politics dictating the roster.
Generic Female Reporter Who Only Got Hired Because She Has Other “Assets”: How is the family?
Charlebois: I don’t have a family, they died when I was but a wee boy, if you read my first article about myself you’d know that but since you obviously aren’t qualified and probably had to do some “extra field work” to get this job I can’t expect you to know that.
After that last comment both head and assist GM’s turned off the microphone and opened the trap door beneath and sent Grossy out to field questions.
Now these comments from Charlebois obviously must be taken in with a grain of salt. The man is a perennial drunk, antagonist, commie. These character flaws put his credibility into question.
But these answers given by Charlebois leave us with a few very solid and worthwhile questions.
Firstly, why has Charlebois been avoiding the media? Our team of investigative journalists followed Charlebois to find out what he has been hiding from the world… Unfortunately we lost track of our journalists near Charlebois’s home and they have yet to return to help us answer this question. Their disappearance however leaves us to believe that Charlebois is hatching a sinister plot… one that might come to light once these playoffs have come to an end!
We can only wonder what sort of terrible plan this nutzo extremist is brewing in his Manhattan Lair.
Is there internal strife in the historically happy go lucky Locker Room in Manhattan?
The answer is maybe. We do not actually have access. But we can speculate with our panel of ex-semi successful-pro players. Our panel of “experts” believes that with the additions of big names Willems, Winter, St H, and Ocho the original core members of the Rage are being pushed to the sidelines. This may have turned into an animosity so hot it could lead Manhattan to be ousted in the first round. Major issues are seen between Willems and JNH who both have high hopes for their futures in the SHL and neither will let anyone get in the way.
Finlay… Why does Ivo Williams skate in Clogs?
Because he is dutch. I mean that makes sense. He probably proud of their heritage… or something.
This headlines will likely dominate the news waves for days!
What does this mean for the Manhattan-Toronto series? It will probably lead to a long series because the games look like they are close and the series might go on a while. But you know what! That’s okay because sports are simply a money making tool for the rich! They want long series so that people will continue to shell out their dollars to watch a bunch of people walk around on slippery shit with sticks! Until society realizes that sports is only there to distract them from the ineptitude of their political systems/leaders there will never be change!
The SHL is a tool of fascist America. Spangle is in on it! We all saw how quickly Edmonton’s experiment with communism was crushed! This is further proof! What more do the people need! We must rise up against our unjust rulers! Fight for a just world! Maybe we can incorporate hockey into it somehow but everyone must realize that as of this moment our love for the best game on earth is being abused by powers greater than us so they can rule our lives and make decisions that we as a society would never agree to!
Let the SHL be the start of the great revolution! Let us lead the way! This challenge falls on the winner of this season! Whoever wins must act and use their popularity amongst the masses to convert them to the path of riotousness, I would like to point out that the word riot is in riotousness so rioting for this cause is completely acceptable and encouraged :D
Stay Classy SHL
#RageFor Cup
#TeamSiren
Love You All.
Words: 1001
Pictures:
