Simulation Hockey League

<div align="center">
S32 FIGHT NIGHT: WEEK 7</div>

So last week had a ton of fighting, and we saw a new leader take the board in Llewellyn. This week, we have a 6 fight game, I shit you not, and maybe a threat at the Welsh Welter's title belt? Let's get into the action!

<div align="center">Game 206: @ :admirals: </div>
So the league has seen headlines from perennial second-rate fighters Kelly Rivet and Mia Landvik. Both have made the papers and the rankings, one as an active scrapper with no power in Rivet and one that literally just ties everyone because she can't do anything right in Landvik. Thank god this fight was between two people that actually can fight.

Jonathan Lundberg and his dry humor are parts of the NEW culture that cannot be forgotten ever since he came to the team as a successful journeyman. There aren't many things that can upset this man of tolerance, but one of them might be a dirty hit. Beau Bent was ready to deliver, coming in with a non-call hit and a swift trademarked "Get Bent." Johnny don't play that.

<div align="center"></div>

A quick wit and hardening to the league's coldness cannot prepare someone for everything, and Beau looked like he was actually trying to brute force bend Lundberg. He came pretty close, from the looks of things.

<div align="center"></div>

Bent getting in the last word on the physical front didn't make up for the 4 goal loss the Admirals were about to sustain, but at least the fans didn't hate him or have to go through another disappointing Rivet fight.
RESULT: Bent by KO

<div align="center">Game 207: @ </div>
Toronto was looking like a deer in headlights at the thought of hosting the red-hot Panthers, and Chester Cunningham, somehow, was the one tapped by coaches to get the crowd into the game, however possible. There were a few ideas floating in his head, and he decided to act upon one of them after Kristian Eriksson got Toronto's 1st goal of the game.

Ryan King was on the ice, surveying all that he saw, and his kingdom was looking better and better. Not at this moment, exactly: he was losing the game, but the team was doing well. You could see Jean-Luc Reflieux getting into the game, winning a faceoff against Cunningham, and the team looked to be on the upswing.

That is, until Cunningham decided to rag all over JLR with a nasty hit along the boards and some more abuse in front of the net.

<div align="center"></div>

All of King's men were not meant to be put back together again, so Ryan had to step in with a dropping of the gloves to Cunningham's obvious instigation of the fight, which was further seen by him waving off refs to let them "fight."

<div align="center"></div>

The "goons" were separated, and Cunningham's ejection for stirring the pot cost his team a powerplay goal that would give King and his boys the win. Seems Chester was broken by the King and his subjects, and at home no less, and his draw of a fight was not helping the cause.
RESULT: Draw

<div align="center">Game 209: @ </div>
The Archenemies of Alberta meet for one of their 6 game series, and things immediately can be seen as tense. The Dragons and the Blizzard are two of the West's best franchises, and the flames come up at any time against these strict brothers by borders. This would be no different, with the antics occurring just a minute into the tilt.

The play against the boards with this type rivalry gets out of hand sometimes, and it happened to be Esa Anrikkanen and Evgeni Karpotsov matched against one another, trying to force the puck out from beneath their teammates. Some sharp elbows were thrown, and then Esa was thrown to the ground. As the play developed, so did the twosome.

<div align="center"></div>

Unfortunately for the fans in Edmonton, the fight wouldn't be more than the previous play: two dudes scrambling for control of their body along the boards, and it looked like the ref would have to help them with their balance.

<div align="center"></div>

As Esa skated away to boos from the crowd, he could tell he had agitated the home team enough with that brawl. Less than 30 seconds later, the Dragons would score the first of their 5 goals to Evgeni's Blizzard's 1 goal on home ice. The Russian's only win of the night was in the faceoff dot, and his coach mentioned after the game, "maybe leave the fighting to a proven winner like Big Z."
RESULT: Draw

<div align="center">Game 215: @ :admirals: </div>
Ok, one would think the Dragons would care more about beating the Blizzard senseless in Edmonton than the Admirals in Portland, but something must have rubbed these 2 teams the wrong way because this game was like the eventual blowing of the supervolcano in Yellowstone: reactive, fiery, and plenty of action for the rest of the world.

The first flare would rear its head midway through the 1st period, with Portland already down by 2 goals. The tension was high, and in a snap moment, before Kyle Wahlgren's eyes, the ice was melting as the whole of both teams ended up matching up one another, trying to find out why they were fighting.

<div align="center"></div>

There was some shoving amongst the rabble, but the real bout (I say bout, but it wasn't a contest) was happening in the corner, where Shane Gagner was having his head bashed in by one Colin Banning. Shane was being abused like a red-headed stepbrother's rented mule, and the damage was lasting.

<div align="center"></div>

Gagner wasn't going anywhere, as Colin had a solid handle on one of the road roughhousers.
RESULT: Banning by Takedown/KO

Banning looked out along the icy horizon and spotted two refs entangled, trying to separate a non-starter of a fight between Eugene Feist and Fernando Pergher. Nether were really putting up much of an effort to be a true dominant force, though Pergher was jumping at the chance to bring some life back into his inactive game.

<div align="center"></div>

But there was one player that missed out on his chance to fight in the last Admirals scrap that was itching to return to stardom for his fighting "ability."
RESULT: Draw

Yes, Kelly "The Riveter" Rivet was ready to drop the gloves and actually get into a scrap with someone and found a dancer in Nicholas Pedersen, the old-timer Dragon. The two actually had a chance to trade taps before the refs made their way through the smoke and debris to separate the fighters and declare the whole brawl a slight edge for the home team, no thanks to Rivet and his non-riveting performance.

<div align="center"></div>

Yes, Nicholas also went pretty low with the eye-scraping, and don't believe for a second that Portland would forget that.
RESULT: Draw

The next fight would occur in the 2nd period, again midway through, and by now, the Dragons have a stranglehold on the game. Surprisingly, goon Kelly had scored to keep the Admirals from embarrassment and the game was at 3-1 CGY. Jaime Hill, known shit-stirrer, got in a good check to Mr. Rivet, and Fredrik Zavstrom took exception.

"You want to go, there, Hill? You can't do that to our star!" Hill looked back with a Scarface bravado and said, "Come get some, FredDick."

<div align="center"></div>

Zavstrom would throw some of his own to get things to a draw, but the real fights were happening elsewhere on the ice, as the whole of the match was devolving to the lowest common denominator. As refs broke up the pair, they looked to see what other matches they could watch on their glide to the sin bin.
RESULT: Draw

As Hill walked down the tunnel to the locker room for the instigation penalty, she saw on the TV in the hallway a scrap breaking out between Schnitinfritz Jagr, and called it: "Yup, Jagr's gonna be here in a sec. I'll wait." Jagr was looking for the fight, streaking into the corner to call out Inigo Cook. "I hate the silent ones, come on, talk, you punk!" And so the speech between fists was away.

<div align="center"></div>

There wasn't really much to deal with in this fight, as Jagr nor Cook could keep their balance during the duel and both really just fell to their faces. Some brawl this was turning out to be.

<div align="center"></div>

As the refs brought the two from the sheet of ice they lay upon, an interesting decisive fight was breaking out along the other corner, and the fans in Portland were booing heavily.
RESULT: Draw

Somewhere along the way, David Dvorak tried to take off a bit more than he could chew with a comment about Laflamme being "the flame to the Dragons weak ass fire." Not sure how that was construed by the Frenchman, but he didn't take kindly at all to the shade thrown his way and made sure that, in the mess of this brawl, that Calgary wouldn't lose this one like they did the first brawl in period 1.

<div align="center"></div>

Dvorak's feeble attempt at a takedown couldn't excuse his poor performance in the ring with Laflamme, and his bloodied face told the tale of the tape, as he skulked over to the now crowded studio apartment at the rinkside. The pocket of Dragon red fans were alive and would keep it up throughout the rest of the Dragons win, as Calgary made one thing clear: you may win once, but you won't win the war.
RESULT: Laflamme by Decision

<div align="center">Game 232: @ </div>
Texas has a tendency to try and establish a sort of Al Davis-esque swagger when they hit the ice, and in no match would it be more critical to do so than a road game against the best in the West Los Angeles Panthers. The only guy to do the deed would be their top enforcer, Lord Vader. The ReneGodliest of the bunch, Lord knew he needed a good fight early to try and tilt this thing fairly to the struggling Renegades.

Literally the second that Hans Moleman came out of the bench, Lord came over to wreck all sorts of carnage on the blind sniper. Los Angeles didn't need him on the ice, thought Vader. Let's keep him off the ice for 5 and see wha the boys in black and silver can do.

<div align="center"></div>

Moleman was not ready to try and trade blows with Vader, as the thick defender was losing balance to the smaller forward. However, Vader did his due diligence, beating Hans into submission to the point that the tangled duo needed to be separated.

<div align="center"></div>

Unfortunately, Lord Vader is the ReneGod's best defender, and losing him so early tothe clearly instigatory fight was a bad sign of things to come. The Panthers got the powerplay, scored, and wouldn't look back, ending up with the 3 goal win. Luckily, the Texas coach did congratulate Vader. "I wouldn't have wanted it any other way, bud Good work, champ."
RESULT: Vader by Decision

<div align="center">Game 236: @ </div>
The Chiefs have lost their swagger. Once atop the fight standings, Chernika Banananov had not let down the gloves in a long time. Newcomer Walter Krysak was doing more of the fighting than the Russian, and there was something with that, on multiple levels. Minnesota needed to be electric to take on the hot Riot, as their offense was more on point than in the past 5 seasons. Maybe new management had finally found the offensive solution.

That solution didn't include Rask's scoring ability, and he needed a reason to be on the team. Even missing 5 games, Orlov was coming up and could possibly hold an anchor as a top faceoff man. Rask needed a fight to keep the team alive on the road, and as play stopped, the two were introduced at center ice with a chance to light up the arena early. "Come on, let's dance!" Walter invited, trying to get a rise out of the Chiefs coaches. Rask responded in kind.

<div align="center"></div>

Now that may look pretty violent, but the truth is that neither of them have the firepower to really get an advantage in the strength and punching ability categories. The fight would wear down, ready to be ended by the judges that be.

<div align="center"></div>

Neither being able to hold their balance, Rask felt humiliated. Something had to be done to redeem this poor early showing of the fists.
RESULT: Draw

If one person was the true champ on the Chiefs, it was Chernika, and the coach came over after the bout. "Hey, Walter can't really do your thing on the ice. Give this period a rest, but try and get Rask off the ice again. He looks agitated, and the Riot need him to beat us. You hear, Ruskie?" Chernika nodded, and like a sleeper cell, waited for the prime opportunity.

The second period would barely begin before Banananov would slam a hit on former teammate Luka Zaitsev to get Gunnar's attention. "You know you want to, bud, so let's do this." Rask made his way over to center ice to drop the gloves, thinking to himself that this would be the game changer. His Riot up 2, a win here might secure the road win.

<div align="center"></div>

That fire in a guy like Rask can be dangerous, and the punches just started rolling in. Banananov was trying to fight for every fan in Minnesota, but it wouldn't work, as Rask got the punches to that back of the neck area, and Banananov fell down like a house of cards.

<div align="center"></div>

As Rask entered the fighting sanctuary to the song of his people, Banananov only heard the boos of fans that were ashamed of the losing effort on all sides. Gunnar would even put up a goal to secure the win for the Riot, making his claim to stay on the Riot's top 6 as the tough guy they needed.
RESULT: Rask by KO

CURRENT POWER RANKINGS
1. - Lord Vader, 3-0-0 (33 pts)
2. - Ieuan Llewellyn, 2-0-1 (30 pts)
3. - Big Manious, 1-0-3 (28 pts)
4. - Chester Cunningham, 1-2-2 (23 pts)
5. :admirals: - Kelly Rivet, 0-2-4 (21 pts)
6. - Maximilian Wachter, 1-2-1 (19 pts)
6. - Danny Foster, 0-0-4 (19 pts)
6. - Evgeni Karpotsov, 0-0-4 (19 pts)
9. - Gunnar Rask, 1-0-2 (18 pts)
10. - Jaime Hill, 1-0-1 (17 pts)
11. - Ryan King, 0-0-4 (16 pts)
11. - Chernika Banananov, 1-3-0 (16 pts)
13. - Wyatt Wollker, 0-0-3 (15 pts)
14. - Pierre-Luc Laflamme, 1-0-1 (14 pts)
14. - Nicholas Pedersen, 1-0-1 (14 pts)
16. - Zalleras Szlerchek, 1-0-0 (13 pts)
17. - Mia Landvik, 0-0-3 (12 pts)
17. - Cody Black, 0-0-3 (12 pts)
19. - Alex Mack, 0-0-2 (11 pts)
19. - Mikko Linna, 0-0-2 (11 pts)
21. - Steven Stamkos Jr., 1-0-0 (10 pts)
21. :admirals: - Colin Banning, 1-0-0 (10 pts)
21. :admirals: - Beau Bent, 1-0-0 (10 pts)
21. :admirals: - Cikgnar Konstantinov, 1-0-0 (10 pts)
21. - Patrik Å atan, 1-0-0 (10 pts)
26. - Schnitinfritz Jagr, 0-1-1 (8 pt)
26. - Kjell Eide, 0-0-2 (8 pts)
26. - Andris Bukss, 0-0-2 (8 pts)
29. - Pal Vikinsgtod, 0-0-1 (7 pts)
30. - Esa Anrikkanen, 0-1-1 (5 pt)
30. - Shane Gagner, 0-1-1 (5 pts)
30. - Walter Krysak, 0-1-1 (5 pt)
33. - Dickie Pecker, 0-0-1 (4 pts)
33. - Fernando Pergher, 0-0-1 (4 pts)
33. - Sven Karlsson, 0-0-1 (4 pts)
33. - Nucky Toohoots, 0-0-1 (4 pts)
33. - Tim Buckner, 0-0-1 (4 pts)
33. - Brandon Pomery, 0-0-1 (4 pts)
33. :admirals: - Inigo Cook, 0-0-1 (4 pts)
33. :admirals: - Eugene Feist, 0-0-1 (4 pts)
33. :admirals: - Marc Leclerc, 0-0-1 (4 pts)
33. :admirals: - Fredrik Zavstrom, 0-0-1 (4 pts)
33. - Patrick Brumm, 0-0-1 (4 pts)
33. - Geoffrey Allen, 0-0-1 (4 pts)
33. - Sim Browski, 0-0-1 (4 pts)
33. - Damien Wert, 0-0-1 (4 pts)
33. - Ty Justice, 0-0-1 (4 pts)
33. - Don Pellegrino, 0-0-1 (4 pts)
49. - Michael Boychuk, 0-1-0 (1 pt)
49. - Jonathan Lundberg, 0-1-0 (1 pt)
49. :admirals: - David Dvorak, 0-1-0 (1 pt)
49. :admirals: - Mattias Wahlstrom, 0-1-0 (1 pt)
49. - Pietra Volkova, 0-1-0 (1 pt)
49. - Travis Kudleychuk, 0-1-0 (1 pt)

Give half to <a href='index.php?showuser=1974' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-59'>hockeyis66</a> for reclaiming the throne!

Claret, are you purposely not covering Slappy's fights this season? Was it something I said? I totally did not mean any of those comments about you, the dwarf and the 100 gallons of cool whip.

Quote:Originally posted by Slappydoodle@Jan 2 2017, 04:39 PM
Claret, are you purposely not covering Slappy's fights this season? Was it something I said? I totally did not mean any of those comments about you, the dwarf and the 100 gallons of cool whip.

I think your fight is Week 8 lol, I'll get to it

And that dwarf signed a consent form, so Bonky McSquatch knew what he was doing.

Quote:Originally posted by mpc@Jan 3 2017, 07:06 AM


I think your fight is Week 8 lol, I'll get to it

And that dwarf signed a consent form, so Bonky McSquatch knew what he was doing.

I've had two fights. The first one wasn't covered either. Won them both, because that's how Slappy rolls. B)