Simulation Hockey League

seriously we're at 10 pages and it hasn't started yet wyd evans

Quote:Originally posted by ztevans@Jan 25 2018, 07:55 PM
I hate to interrupt this riveting conversation, but the awards show begins in five minutes.

nice. i dont care about nominations as long as i am one of them

Quote:Originally posted by Symmetrik@Jan 25 2018, 07:58 PM
seriously we're at 10 pages and it hasn't started yet wyd evans

I was waiting until my announced time of 8:00 pm Eastern on January 25, 2018. I revealed nominees out of kindness and all I got was a whole bunch of

Jerks, the lot of you, tbh

BUT NOW IT'S 8:00 PM, SO I GUESS I'LL BE MOVING ALONG NOW.

Hello, and welcome to the Season 38 SHL Awards Show! I’m ztevans, and I have the dubious honor of once again presenting these fine awards.

I'll be honest, I am not looking forward to this. For those who don’t know me, you’re saying right now, “Why not? You were nominated for three awards!” Those who do know me just laughed, because you know I want nothing to do with my player being in the spotlight.

Things I enjoy - talking about my dogs, helping out the league, watching cars drive in circles, shitting on Evans when he plays like shit. Things I don’t enjoy – Evans playing well. What do I do with my hands? Who am I supposed to shit talk now? Why can’t I go into regression now? Okay, I’m kidding about that last part. Sort of.

There are lots of people who deserve to be in the spotlight tonight, some far more so than me. Some of them have indeed been nominated for our list of awards. Others, unfortunately, have not. But I hope we can celebrate those who will be honored tonight. Except for that Evans guy, he sucks.

Alas, I suppose I will survive this, but let’s get it over with all the same.

First, let’s present the Challenge Cup to the newly crowned Simulation Hockey League Champions. Entering the playoffs as the third seed in the Eastern Conference, this team knocked off the top two teams in the East in succession … including erasing a 3-0 deficit in the Eastern Conference finals … before taking the title in a rematch of the Season 32 Challenge Cup Finals.

Congratulations to your Season 38 Challenge Cup Champions, for the third time in franchise history, the Manhattan Rage!

Next, we present the trophies for conference champions. Winning the Mathias Chouinard Trophy as Eastern Conference Champions, Manhattan Rage!

Facing Manhattan in the finals after winning the Cole Reinhart Trophy, for the first time since Season 33, the Calgary Dragons!

<a href='index.php?showuser=2327' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-69'>ztevans</a> stop talking about yourself already damnit

Quote:Originally posted by Coach Biz@Jan 25 2018, 08:03 PM

I was promised hot dogs, Izzy, not popcorn. This is unacceptable.

Yay awards

For the last of the team awards, the Presidents’ Trophy goes to the most successful team in the regular season. For the fourth consecutive season, this honor goes to a Western Conference team. However, this one came as a surprise to most people in the league, maybe even to its biggest fans. A deserving round of applause on a great season to our Season 38 Presidents’ Trophy recipients, the San Francisco Pride!

Now, to reward the leading individual statistical performers in Season 38. First, the Mike Honcho Trophy, presented to the goalie with the best Goals Against Average each season.

The Season 38 Mike Honcho Trophy goes to Jeff Kirkstone of the San Francisco Pride! Congratulations, <a href='index.php?showuser=2245' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-13'>Grapehead</a>!

By the way, folks, I always click "Preview Post" before sharing my pre-written awards show posts. This is why.



Idk, Grape, teal might look good in the next rebrand, though.

Quote:Originally posted by Beaujeaux@Jan 25 2018, 02:50 PM


<a href='index.php?showuser=12' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-4'>Leafs4ever</a> this guy is talkin smack

I'll allow it, it's warranted

Next is the Turd Ferguson Trophy, which goes to the SHL player who accrued the most penalty minutes during the season. I’m honestly surprised people don’t just stand up and go to the restroom during this part of the awards show. Six times in the last seven seasons, the outcome for this award has been the same. It’s the guaranteed 1 TPE on your Award Predictions. It’s the man who might require us to rename this award at this point. Your Season 38 Turd Ferguson goes to Danny Foster of the Los Angeles Panthers! Congratulations, <a href='index.php?showuser=1583' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-3'>GCool</a>!