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+---- Forum: PT Archive (https://simulationhockey.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=564)
+---- Thread: S76 mPT #4: :kermitknife: (/showthread.php?tid=136613)
RE: S76 mPT #4: :kermitknife: - karlssens - 04-30-2024
Hi Texas. If you could kindly string together a few losses I'll reconsider putting a horse head under your bedsheets. Same goes for you Baltimore, but I'll save that for the playoffs if we happen to have a meeting in the finals.
RE: S76 mPT #4: :kermitknife: - Tesla - 04-30-2024
Agent Tesla: So what am I being brought in for today?
Management: Well it seems that all of the players for our biggest roadblock to the playoffs and every member of their staff received a bit of an alarming message this morning.
Agent Tesla: And?
Management: And I am pretty sure the only person who could successfully threaten that many people simultaneously is the eldritch abomination that represents our star center.
Agent Tesla: Are you saying the rest of the staff couldn't just hire a team to do this?
Management: We thought about that, but between the Damascus steel used in the knives that pinned the notes in the wall and the almost inhumanly high quality of the freshly baked goods accompanying them we are pretty sure you did it.
Agent Tesla: I knew I should have settled on a lesser steel. So are you going to punish me?
Management: You know we don't actually have the power to do that, but please don't do this again.
Agent Tesla: Fair.
Code:
Word Count: 170RE: S76 mPT #4: :kermitknife: - kenvald - 04-30-2024
Atlanta's got no chance of making it further than first base, so you better just excuse yourselves from the league or we're gonna set fire to your flames
RE: S76 mPT #4: :kermitknife: - Nictox - 04-30-2024
Winnipeg needs to step back if they think they can get a better seeding then us in New Orleans. We will bring the Bourbon Street heat and melt their asses.
RE: S76 mPT #4: :kermitknife: - slothfacekilla - 04-30-2024
I guess Buffalo is the closest to us in the Conference so I'll say uhhh hey Buffalo you should back off before I go all Oregon Trail on your ass and hunt you to extinction.
RE: S76 mPT #4: :kermitknife: - oknom - 04-30-2024
Dear sweet baby Atlanta Inferno,
It is time for you to go to bed. Once you have been eliminated, you can start scouting the draft! And stay up late! And have pancakes for breakfast! But if you don't listen, none of that will happen.
RE: S76 mPT #4: :kermitknife: - Vandy - 04-30-2024
This is addressed to all of you, no I won't individually name you, you know who you are. Who do you think you are? I AM! We will bury you, you will need a binding resolution from the UN to call us off. We will fuck you up. This is FLAMING DRAGON NEWFOUNDLAND
RE: S76 mPT #4: :kermitknife: - artermis - 04-30-2024
We're the current division leaders, but with this newfound power, Petr can ensure our nearest team in the standings, NOLA, receives the a copy of the Czech constitution in an envelope that plays the national anthem when opened.
RE: S76 mPT #4: :kermitknife: - No Goal - 04-30-2024
Anchorage, you are a sinking ship that smells of goat cheese - the stinky moldy fruity kind of goat cheese. Consider playing worse to become the ultimate smoked gouda cheese - the only cheese worth cheating for since you have lactose intolerance to the hockey milk puck - the fans will devour it up!!
RE: S76 mPT #4: :kermitknife: - _Blitz_ - 04-30-2024
"Hey San Fran, we'll show you why we're not called the Cougars! You should have kept the primary color scheme! We'll make you wish you never left Portland!"
I may be bad at trash talk.
RE: S76 mPT #4: :kermitknife: - roastpuff - 04-30-2024
If you guys do not stop winning I wear I will come over at night and put shaving cream in your jock straps and skates that will make them grow hair!
RE: S76 mPT #4: :kermitknife: - Possum Queen - 04-30-2024
Calgary's in a weird spot in that we're a good bit better than the next team and a good bit worse than the team ahead of us. So I'm gonna pick on Edmonton, because they're losers. Enjoy that high draft pick. Wait. I'm bad at shit-talking.
RE: S76 mPT #4: :kermitknife: - Kalakar - 04-30-2024
Can I actually try to intimidate my own team? We need to have a fire lit under our asses, this is unacceptable. I understand we're a fresh expansion team but we need to play better than this.
RE: S76 mPT #4: :kermitknife: - tomtommen - 04-30-2024
So.. who do you really think you are? Like the closest team to Calgary has any chance of getting into the playoffs? No way Josè. Get wrecked mofos. Eat dirt. Get hurt. Chug a yoghurt. You Burt.. Reynolds
RE: S76 mPT #4: :kermitknife: - xjoverax - 04-30-2024
Dear Colorado, it's our time to win the cup so back off. This is not a request, but how things work in the J. You win, then you pass it on to the next deserving.