+- Simulation Hockey League (https://simulationhockey.com)
+-- Forum: League Media (https://simulationhockey.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=610)
+--- Forum: SMJHL Media (https://simulationhockey.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=48)
+---- Forum: Graded Articles (https://simulationhockey.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=403)
+---- Thread: Special Report: Prospect Combine Interview Gone Wrong (or very right?) (/showthread.php?tid=102627)
Pages:
1
2
Special Report: Prospect Combine Interview Gone Wrong (or very right?) - ChrisFromRMNB - 01-16-2020
(Draft double bonus) (Ready for Grade)
The Uncoordinated Exclusive Special Report
Smorey Kronman - 1/15/20
The Uncoordinated Exclusive Special Report
Smorey Kronman - 1/15/20
This special report from The Uncoordinated is brought to you by our faithful readers. For only a small monthly fee, you too can help us burn the storied history of print journalism to the ground. Please go to www.AllOfOurWritersSoldTheirSoulsToSatan.com to register and receive your free one second trial. We are sure that you will not be disappointed and if you are disappointed we will find you, we will get to you, and we will kill you.
It was a lively and exciting day at the S53 prospect combine. As you probably already know, the prospects got put through many different grueling, pointless, and challenging exercises to test their overall athletic ability before the coming draft. In previous years, these results have really not been used whatsoever in terms of determining draft stock...and it's very likely that will be the case again. Seriously, Sam Bennett couldn't do a single pull-up and still played in the NHL at 18 years old. The real media juice from events like these are the leaks that come from the individual teams interviewing prospects to determine if they are a fit culture and locker room wise. The Uncoordinated has gained unprecedented access to an unnamed team's session with one of the top prospects in this draft. Said prospect's initials are C.C. and he may or may not be Norwegian.
"Welcome to the interview portion of this crazy day. We'll keep it nice and casual the entire time. We're just looking to see if you'll be a good fit in our community and most importantly within our culture."
CC: I'm just here so I won't get fined. Oh and for the free workout pics so I can update all my social media. Bis, tris, and thighs, fellas. Am I right or am I right?
"Uh, yea sure. So, we're gonna throw a tough one at you right out of the gate. Would you rather be better than everyone else or the best?"
CC: I would rather be better than everyone else, but only because I feel like that insinuates that everyone fully knows that I'm better than them and sorta resents me for it. Being "the best" has a level of respect to it that I do not need. I don't want to have to wake up at 4am to go to charity events. Are you fucking kidding me? Miss my god damn morning cartoons? Two and a half hour shower? Morning skin routine? Not this guy.
"Well then. Uh. Moving on. *under breath* That's the worst answer I have ever got. *under breath* Lets give you a little roleplay scenario. There's a 50/50 chance of there being a 20-foot python who hasn't eaten in five months in the hallway. There's five of us in this room. Which one of us is going out there?"
Bud, I don't know what you like to do in the bedroom, but that's some really freaky fucking roleplay. In all honesty though, all four of you are going out there first because I'm the potential multi-million dollar athlete here. While you four schmucks are dancing around ole snakey snakey, I'll hop on the phone and call the zoo or the hotel staff to take care of it. You know, pythons cant open doors, right?
"Can you please comment on this tweet?" https://twitter.com/CerulloChris/status/1217652239298453505
Look, I made that tweet literally 30 minutes ago. I have grown tremendously since then. I apologized. It was just a joke. Hypothetically though, if that wasn't a joke, because it isn't in this hypothetical world, that's totally fucked up right. This man could have hurt my draft stock.
"Oh okay, but what about this one?" https://twitter.com/CerulloChris/status/1217659189784457218
Did you not see my replies? I clearly stated that I only bet on my own games so that I play just that much harder. I am not the Houston Astros. I have not and will not ever abuse a trash can on the premises of my team's home arena.
"A lot of our scouts seem to think you may have an attitude problem. What do you think about that?"
Oh no way man, I have tons of attitude. Not a problem there for me. I once socked a dude right in the mouth for stepping on my untied shoelace. People these days, so rude. As a matter of fact, I'm a little hung up on you bringing up those tweets from my past. I'm not sure if you know who you're talking to, bud. I have Viking blood in me, I'm ready for war at any second. Got a cool battleaxe and everything that hangs above my front door. Little bit scary, but gotta let people know that Norway is on the come up. Y'all should be scared.
"I'm pretty sure that you're correct and I have no idea who I am talking to. Is this the right room? You're C**** C******, right? You are. Oh. Well. Then, I guess here's our final question. What did you think of the final season of Game of Thrones?"
Oh you gotta be fucking kidding me. This again? Who put you up to this? That magazine? They didn't even publish my full thoughts. I bet David and Dan censored that shit. They cant handle the truth. A fucking ninja midget stabbed the greatest, scariest, seemingly most powerful villain in modern TV history with some little dagger trick and KILLED HIM. WE DIDN'T EVEN GET TO SEE HIM FIGHT. The whole story was centered around Jon Snow's conflict in the north and then the conflict with his identity and then they didn't even have him fight another white walker. I was incensed. Not to mention that his Targ lineage was completely tossed in the garbage and---
The unnamed prospect then went on yet another 35 minute long tangent about how he wishes that he could hip check the writers of the famous TV series 'Game of Thrones' into the "fucking sun, those two stupid egghead nerd fucks".
Word count: 1,011 words
RE: Special Report: Prospect Combine Interview Gone Wrong (or very right?) - roastpuff - 01-16-2020
Love the questions - inane, just like in real life!
RE: Special Report: Prospect Combine Interview Gone Wrong (or very right?) - ChrisFromRMNB - 01-16-2020
01-16-2020, 01:28 AMroastpuff Wrote: Love the questions - inane, just like in real life!
That may or may not be because those are actual questions teams have asked kids in recent years lol
RE: Special Report: Prospect Combine Interview Gone Wrong (or very right?) - mxman991 - 01-16-2020
This... this is the energy we need in the locker room in Halifax. 4Star Material.
RE: Special Report: Prospect Combine Interview Gone Wrong (or very right?) - GeckoeyGecko - 01-16-2020
01-16-2020, 08:19 PMmxman991 Wrote: This... this is the energy we need in the locker room in Halifax. 4Star Material.
why would he go to halifax if he was 4star material
RE: Special Report: Prospect Combine Interview Gone Wrong (or very right?) - mxman991 - 01-16-2020
01-16-2020, 08:24 PMGeckoeyGecko Wrote:01-16-2020, 08:19 PMmxman991 Wrote: This... this is the energy we need in the locker room in Halifax. 4Star Material.
why would he go to halifax if he was 4star material
[THIS COMMENT HAS BEEN REDACTED DUE TO INAPPROPRIATE MATERIAL, BODILY THREATS, AND EXPLETIVES DIRECTED AT GECKOEYGECKO BY AL KAYHALL] - CONNER MAN SPORTS AGENT
RE: Special Report: Prospect Combine Interview Gone Wrong (or very right?) - notorioustig - 01-16-2020
01-16-2020, 08:24 PMGeckoeyGecko Wrote:01-16-2020, 08:19 PMmxman991 Wrote: This... this is the energy we need in the locker room in Halifax. 4Star Material.
why would he go to halifax if he was 4star material
BAH GAWD THIS MAN HAD A FAMILY
RE: Special Report: Prospect Combine Interview Gone Wrong (or very right?) - GeckoeyGecko - 01-16-2020
01-16-2020, 08:56 PMnotorioustig Wrote:01-16-2020, 08:24 PMGeckoeyGecko Wrote: why would he go to halifax if he was 4star material
BAH GAWD THIS MAN HAD A FAMILY
i mean a disappointed one but yeah
RE: Special Report: Prospect Combine Interview Gone Wrong (or very right?) - mxman991 - 01-16-2020
01-16-2020, 09:03 PMGeckoeyGecko Wrote:01-16-2020, 08:56 PMnotorioustig Wrote: BAH GAWD THIS MAN HAD A FAMILY
i mean a disappointed one but yeah
You must have met them.
RE: Special Report: Prospect Combine Interview Gone Wrong (or very right?) - GeckoeyGecko - 01-16-2020
01-16-2020, 09:05 PMmxman991 Wrote:01-16-2020, 09:03 PMGeckoeyGecko Wrote: i mean a disappointed one but yeah
You must have met them.
ya ive met ur mom a couple times
RE: Special Report: Prospect Combine Interview Gone Wrong (or very right?) - mxman991 - 01-16-2020
01-16-2020, 09:08 PMGeckoeyGecko Wrote:01-16-2020, 09:05 PMmxman991 Wrote: You must have met them.
ya ive met ur mom a couple times
... She's still alive? Then that means...
RE: Special Report: Prospect Combine Interview Gone Wrong (or very right?) - GeckoeyGecko - 01-16-2020
01-16-2020, 09:09 PMmxman991 Wrote:01-16-2020, 09:08 PMGeckoeyGecko Wrote: ya ive met ur mom a couple times
... She's still alive? Then that means...
shit they had been hoping youd still think they were dead
shes been hiding in cuba, where they wont hear about the latest failures of the raiders
RE: Special Report: Prospect Combine Interview Gone Wrong (or very right?) - mxman991 - 01-16-2020
01-16-2020, 09:17 PMGeckoeyGecko Wrote:01-16-2020, 09:09 PMmxman991 Wrote: ... She's still alive? Then that means...
shit they had been hoping youd still think they were dead
shes been hiding in cuba, where they wont hear about the latest failures of the raiders
They?! My dad is alive too?!?! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
RE: Special Report: Prospect Combine Interview Gone Wrong (or very right?) - bluesfan55 - 01-17-2020
01-16-2020, 08:56 PMnotorioustig Wrote:i mean you could say the same thing about detroit01-16-2020, 08:24 PMGeckoeyGecko Wrote: why would he go to halifax if he was 4star material
BAH GAWD THIS MAN HAD A FAMILY
RE: Special Report: Prospect Combine Interview Gone Wrong (or very right?) - Muerto - 01-17-2020
01-16-2020, 12:44 AMChrisFromRMNB Wrote: the greatest, scariest, seemingly most powerful villain in modern TV history
Thank you for the kind words