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Hometown Fantasy Suite - Julio Tokolosh - 03-18-2020
Homers and purists, enjoy this article that presents the fantasy rankings by franchise and by junior program.
Going into every season, in any fantasy sport, it is natural to veer towards your own teams. While you might be biased, by your optimistic outlook, the idea of rooting for yourself is definitely identifiable.
In any sport, I like to choose the teams that I like. I’m not going to hedge my bets like my bookie/uncle tells me, I’m not interested in winning “or” winning. I want to win “and” win. A Capitals fan drafts Dmitry Orlov, not because Snarls is a lock to score, assist and hit a bunch, but because the Capitals need him to succeed in order for their playoff run to be deeper than Pittsburgh’s. In order for his (the fan, or Orlov's) team to succeed, he (Orlov) must succeed, and the team likely not succeeding is not something that a fan will consider during the late offseason.
Imagine being on the team, and saying during a flight “sorry, Dima, but I think Klingberg is the value play”. You invest in your locker room and in those that you care about, even if irresponsibly so. It would be like betting against your son at a track meet when they scrimmage the Jamaican travel team. Yea, the odds are that your boy is going to get smoked, but if he wins and you bet on the favorite, that guilt debt is going to be harder to pay than your financial one.
Everyone is friends with a UCONN alumnus who has won 5 March Madness (RIP) tournaments in the last decade or so. I’ve lost every NFL pick’em league since the New York Giants started sucking. It’s a hard road for many fan bases, but it is undeniably the path of honor.
In the SHL the stakes are lower because its a digital simulation that we recently learned barely works (like a text version of the video horse races at the gas station), yet the stakes are higher because we’re on the teams and participating and trying our hardest to be the first gas station pony to cross the finish line.
The following is a breakdown of how the perfect fan would have finished last season’s fantasy season. If drafting only on franchise loyalty, I have listed the results of the fantasy teams made up of each franchise’s top fantasy forwards and, top fantasy defensive pairing, and fantasy goalie rotation.
1
Buffalo
Score: 1618.6
F - Viktor Marius - 325.9
F - Hippo Passamus - 277.6
F - Monkey D. Luffy - 241
D - Poopity Scoop - 270.4
D - Tatu Makela - 224.7
Goalies - 279
2
Hamilton
Score: 1574.4
F - Flacko Lagerfield - 293.8
F - Aaron Wilson - 282
F - Robert Phelps - 250.6
D - Tig Murphy - 273.3
D - Samuel Michaud - 193.7
Goalies - 281
3
San Francisco
Score: 1521.3
F - Piotr Czerkawski - 264.9
F - Steven Moyer - 259.9
F - Jeff Brogen - 252.6
D - Charlie Schieck - 238.5
D - Leopold Lockhart - 229.4
Goalies - 276
4
Chicago
Score: 1514.4
F - Cameron Carter II - 342.1
F - Daniel Smeb - 259.1
F - Jack Kennedy - 246.8
D - Corey Kennedy - 235
D - Parker Smeb - 186.4
Goalies - 245
5
New England
Score: 1470.1
F - Rafe Ulrich - 259.5
F - Ola Wagstrom - 254.1
F - Manuel Gotze - 253.1
D - Guy Zheng - 236.2
D - Ensio Kalju - 233.2
Goalie - 234
6
Manhattan
Score: 1448.3
F - Luke Thomason - 307.7
F - Alex Winters - 262.2
F - Rainbow Dash - 211.6
D - Barret McCarthy - 224.9
D - Reginald MacIntyre - 179.9
Goalies - 262
7
Toronto
Score: 1445.5
F - Mika Kandinsky - 268.2
F - Bobby Lane - 261.6
F - Xavier Paquette - 260.6
D - Donny McMasters -196.7
D - Cal Clucker - 180.4
Goalies - 278
8
Los Angeles
Score: 1436.1
F - Philipp Winter - 308.9
F - Borromini Cannellini - 246.5
F - Max Mauldin - 235.1
D - Jon Toner - 230.5
D - Tony Ford - 153.1
Goalies - 262
9
Winnipeg
Score: 1424
F - Commander Shepherd - 278.9
F - Nick Brain - 274.9
F - Goku Muerto - 256.5
D - Slip McScruff - 211.1
D - Gary Grease - 167.6
Goalies - 235
10
Tampa Bay
Score: 1416.1
F - Olivier Cloutier - 241.9
F - Matt Kholin - 239.1
F - Gunnar Soderberg - 207.7
D - Nikolai Evans - 247
D - Joln Dubolk - 192.4
Goalies - 288
11
Calgary
Score: 1381.9
F - Mike Izzy - 280.1
F - Nicky Pederson - 253.4
F - Barry Batsbak - 200.3
D - Brennan Kennedy - 204
D - Otis B. Driftwood - 186.1
Goalies - 258
12
Edmonton
Score: 1357
F - Tony Pepperoni - 272.5
F - Boruvka Bannanak - 194.4
F - Julio Tokolosh - 189.6
D - Brady McIntyre - 248.8
D - Tor Tuck - 185.7
Goalies - 266
13
West Kendall
Score: 1344.1
F - Petr Mikulak - 247.1
F - Nickolas Klaus - 201.1
F - Gabriel Wong - 186.9
D - Rex Kirkby - 256.2
D - Ethan Ross - 201.8
Goalies - 251
14
Texas
F - Andreas Kvalheim - 339.3
F - Josef Kubinec - 195.3
F - Iam Essellemm - 166.4
D - Harvey Danger - 236.9
D - Piotr Horvat - 187.4
Goalies - 214
15
New Orleans
Score: 1327.8
F - Lil Manius - 289.9
F - Jimmy Slothface - 235.9
F - Nicholas Williams - 226.1
D - Lyle Odelein III - 169.5
D - Kaspars Claude - 165.4
Goalies - 241
16
Minnesota
Score: 1279.2
F - Noah Gallagher - 246.7
F - Collin GIbbles - 227.7
F - Artemi Berezin - 153.1
D - Mathias Seger - 234.5
D - Geoff Moore - 226.2
Goalies - 191
Buffalo Score: 1618.6
F - Viktor Marius - 325.9
F - Hippo Passamus - 277.6
F - Monkey D. Luffy - 241
D - Poopity Scoop - 270.4
D - Tatu Makela - 224.7
Goalies - 279
2
Hamilton Score: 1574.4
F - Flacko Lagerfield - 293.8
F - Aaron Wilson - 282
F - Robert Phelps - 250.6
D - Tig Murphy - 273.3
D - Samuel Michaud - 193.7
Goalies - 281
3
San Francisco Score: 1521.3
F - Piotr Czerkawski - 264.9
F - Steven Moyer - 259.9
F - Jeff Brogen - 252.6
D - Charlie Schieck - 238.5
D - Leopold Lockhart - 229.4
Goalies - 276
4
Chicago Score: 1514.4
F - Cameron Carter II - 342.1
F - Daniel Smeb - 259.1
F - Jack Kennedy - 246.8
D - Corey Kennedy - 235
D - Parker Smeb - 186.4
Goalies - 245
5
New England Score: 1470.1
F - Rafe Ulrich - 259.5
F - Ola Wagstrom - 254.1
F - Manuel Gotze - 253.1
D - Guy Zheng - 236.2
D - Ensio Kalju - 233.2
Goalie - 234
6
Manhattan Score: 1448.3
F - Luke Thomason - 307.7
F - Alex Winters - 262.2
F - Rainbow Dash - 211.6
D - Barret McCarthy - 224.9
D - Reginald MacIntyre - 179.9
Goalies - 262
7
Toronto Score: 1445.5
F - Mika Kandinsky - 268.2
F - Bobby Lane - 261.6
F - Xavier Paquette - 260.6
D - Donny McMasters -196.7
D - Cal Clucker - 180.4
Goalies - 278
8
Los Angeles Score: 1436.1
F - Philipp Winter - 308.9
F - Borromini Cannellini - 246.5
F - Max Mauldin - 235.1
D - Jon Toner - 230.5
D - Tony Ford - 153.1
Goalies - 262
9
Winnipeg Score: 1424
F - Commander Shepherd - 278.9
F - Nick Brain - 274.9
F - Goku Muerto - 256.5
D - Slip McScruff - 211.1
D - Gary Grease - 167.6
Goalies - 235
10
Tampa Bay Score: 1416.1
F - Olivier Cloutier - 241.9
F - Matt Kholin - 239.1
F - Gunnar Soderberg - 207.7
D - Nikolai Evans - 247
D - Joln Dubolk - 192.4
Goalies - 288
11
Calgary Score: 1381.9
F - Mike Izzy - 280.1
F - Nicky Pederson - 253.4
F - Barry Batsbak - 200.3
D - Brennan Kennedy - 204
D - Otis B. Driftwood - 186.1
Goalies - 258
12
Edmonton Score: 1357
F - Tony Pepperoni - 272.5
F - Boruvka Bannanak - 194.4
F - Julio Tokolosh - 189.6
D - Brady McIntyre - 248.8
D - Tor Tuck - 185.7
Goalies - 266
13
West Kendall Score: 1344.1
F - Petr Mikulak - 247.1
F - Nickolas Klaus - 201.1
F - Gabriel Wong - 186.9
D - Rex Kirkby - 256.2
D - Ethan Ross - 201.8
Goalies - 251
14
Texas F - Andreas Kvalheim - 339.3
F - Josef Kubinec - 195.3
F - Iam Essellemm - 166.4
D - Harvey Danger - 236.9
D - Piotr Horvat - 187.4
Goalies - 214
15
New Orleans Score: 1327.8
F - Lil Manius - 289.9
F - Jimmy Slothface - 235.9
F - Nicholas Williams - 226.1
D - Lyle Odelein III - 169.5
D - Kaspars Claude - 165.4
Goalies - 241
16
Minnesota Score: 1279.2
F - Noah Gallagher - 246.7
F - Collin GIbbles - 227.7
F - Artemi Berezin - 153.1
D - Mathias Seger - 234.5
D - Geoff Moore - 226.2
Goalies - 191
Unless you were on the Buffalo Stampede, you would not have collected TPE in any of the leagues with these rosters (more evidence that the SHL deep state is encouraging disloyal acts to spur ratings, a la Tom Brady). A way around this snakery to still be loyal and possibly get a few more points, would be to choose by your SMJHL affiliated team.
Full disclosure: this was a long and tedious process and I’m sure I missed a bunch. Please comment or private message some players that I missed.
1
Detroit
Score: 1655
F- Viktor Marius - 325.9
F - Flacko Lagerfield - 293.8
F - Hippo Passamus - 277.6
D - Tig Murphy - 273.3
D - Poopity Scoop - 270.4
G - Sebastian Primeau - 214
2
Carolina
Score: 1619.6
F - Andreas Kvalheim - 339.3
F - Commander Shepherd - 278.9
F - Piotr Czerkawski - 264.9
D - Nikolai Evans - 247
D - Charlie Schieck - 238.5
G- Beaujeaux Biscuit - 251
3
Anchorage
Score: 1582.4
F - Cameron Carter II - 342.1
F - Olivier Cloutier - 241.9
F - Mika Mayfield - 224.8
D - Rex Kirkby - 256.2
D - Leopold Lockhart - 229.4
G - Benhjamin Blue - 288
4
Vancouver
Score: 1525.4
F - Luke Thomason - 307.7
F - Aaron Wilson - 282
F - Robert Phelps - 250.6
D - Geoff Moore - 226.2
D - Barret McCarthy - 224.9
G - Johannes Leitner - 234
5
St. Louis
Score: 1518.9
F - Lil Manius - 289.9
F - Mika Kandinsky - 268.2
F - Steven Moyer - 259.9
D - Brady McIntyre - 248.8
D - Slip McScruff - 211.1
G - Aleister Cain - 241
6
Colorado
Score: 1502.6
F - Philipp Winter - 308.9
F - Tony Pepperoni - 272.5
F - Nick Brain - 274.9
D - Cassius Darrow - 202.7
D - Gary Grease - 167.6
G - Chris Partridge - 276
7
Maine
Score: 1428.8
F - Matt Kholin - 239.1
F - Jimmy Slothface - 235.9
F - Vince Reaper - 219.1
D - Ensio Kalju - 233.2
D - Jon Toner - 230.5
G - Geezus Christ - 281
8
Kelowna
Score: 1399.9
F - Mike Izzy - 280.1
F - Dick Clapper - 230.5
F - Gunnar Soderberg - 207.7
D - Guy Zheng - 236.2
D - Piotr Horvat - 187.4
G - Kata Vilde - 258
9
Anaheim
Score: 1385.9
F - Martjin Westbroek - 233.6
F - Colin Gibbles - 227.7
F - Hiro Fujikawa - 210.1
D - Corey Kennedy - 235
D - Mathias Seger - 234.5
G - Tibuk Soonika - 245
10
Newfoundland
Score: 1310.1
F - Monkey D. Luffy - 241
F - Austin Roenick - 196
F - Boruvka Bannanak - 194.4
D - Brennan Kennedy - 204
D - Donny McMasters - 196.7
G - Harry Carpet - 278
Detroit Score: 1655
F- Viktor Marius - 325.9
F - Flacko Lagerfield - 293.8
F - Hippo Passamus - 277.6
D - Tig Murphy - 273.3
D - Poopity Scoop - 270.4
G - Sebastian Primeau - 214
2
Carolina Score: 1619.6
F - Andreas Kvalheim - 339.3
F - Commander Shepherd - 278.9
F - Piotr Czerkawski - 264.9
D - Nikolai Evans - 247
D - Charlie Schieck - 238.5
G- Beaujeaux Biscuit - 251
3
Anchorage Score: 1582.4
F - Cameron Carter II - 342.1
F - Olivier Cloutier - 241.9
F - Mika Mayfield - 224.8
D - Rex Kirkby - 256.2
D - Leopold Lockhart - 229.4
G - Benhjamin Blue - 288
4
Vancouver Score: 1525.4
F - Luke Thomason - 307.7
F - Aaron Wilson - 282
F - Robert Phelps - 250.6
D - Geoff Moore - 226.2
D - Barret McCarthy - 224.9
G - Johannes Leitner - 234
5
St. Louis Score: 1518.9
F - Lil Manius - 289.9
F - Mika Kandinsky - 268.2
F - Steven Moyer - 259.9
D - Brady McIntyre - 248.8
D - Slip McScruff - 211.1
G - Aleister Cain - 241
6
Colorado Score: 1502.6
F - Philipp Winter - 308.9
F - Tony Pepperoni - 272.5
F - Nick Brain - 274.9
D - Cassius Darrow - 202.7
D - Gary Grease - 167.6
G - Chris Partridge - 276
7
Maine Score: 1428.8
F - Matt Kholin - 239.1
F - Jimmy Slothface - 235.9
F - Vince Reaper - 219.1
D - Ensio Kalju - 233.2
D - Jon Toner - 230.5
G - Geezus Christ - 281
8
Kelowna Score: 1399.9
F - Mike Izzy - 280.1
F - Dick Clapper - 230.5
F - Gunnar Soderberg - 207.7
D - Guy Zheng - 236.2
D - Piotr Horvat - 187.4
G - Kata Vilde - 258
9
Anaheim Score: 1385.9
F - Martjin Westbroek - 233.6
F - Colin Gibbles - 227.7
F - Hiro Fujikawa - 210.1
D - Corey Kennedy - 235
D - Mathias Seger - 234.5
G - Tibuk Soonika - 245
10
Newfoundland Score: 1310.1
F - Monkey D. Luffy - 241
F - Austin Roenick - 196
F - Boruvka Bannanak - 194.4
D - Brennan Kennedy - 204
D - Donny McMasters - 196.7
G - Harry Carpet - 278
I had a bit ready to go about a deeper analysis, and storied J franchises vs failing ones, vs new up and comers, but no one really reads those parts. You just search your name, click on the link, command F your name (yea, a mac. Sometimes I use light mode, too. What of it? We’re on FHM now, even playing field.), and then look for your teammates and draft buddies. With that in mind, I’ll cut it off here. I'm not going to shoe-horn this into being about rookies; I will just cross my fingers that this accidentally gets graded as x2.
Makeshift conclusion: Follow Viktor Marius. Karey's got the purest pedigree around, and his art doesn't stink either. I'd tag him like a man, but I know I'm going to have a million small edits, typos, and player additions, and I don't want to bother him with the notifications.
Let me know what errors there are.
In lieu of flowers, please down-rep Ford.
Code:
word count 1541 + a ton of researchRE: Hometown Fantasy Suite - Wallflower - 03-18-2020
interesting concept, good content. good idea to combine hometowns and the fantasy suites. less time for drama tho
RE: Hometown Fantasy Suite - Julio Tokolosh - 03-18-2020
03-18-2020, 01:58 PMWallflower Wrote: interesting concept, good content. good idea to combine hometowns and the fantasy suites. less time for drama thoIf you have a roku, or access to Tubi (i had never heard of it before a week ago), you can watch season 1 for free. its just 7 episodes long (45 minute episodes), and they cram all of it in. the 2002 (i think?) fashion choices are also a fun different aspect.
RE: Hometown Fantasy Suite - TheWoZy - 03-18-2020
RE: Hometown Fantasy Suite - WannabeFinn - 03-18-2020
RE: Hometown Fantasy Suite - Mayuu - 03-18-2020