>>>This announcement is meant to be read to this included music <<<

(Don’t even ask how we manage to keep the Ice, I had to try VERY hard to convince Narboza to let me use some of his technology and promised not to leak it around)

It all started as a normal day during the offseason hanging out on my yacht, and my phone started ringing. One of them at least. I told my phone answerer to get off the damn aux cord and check. She told me the number was listed as “Big Brain Dingus” and immediately I knew this was a call I might actually have to answer.

It was Ace, the WJC Zsar. He said “Ruggs, I have so many young hot studs itching to get on the ice. I’ve heard through the grapevine that they are your specialty and I would be willing to give you a 69% raise to take this job instead”

I checked tiktok to think for a minute or two before I responded…. 

“Ace you stupid idiot, I have too much at stake here. I need to help my teammates after we were embarrassed last season taking a measly bronze.” 

My words were echoed in the breeze as it stroked my moustache, it was almost like the 80s party anthems were lowered to a reasonable level for a second as I heard it:

“But Ruggsy” he said fat cat-edly “only you can turn these Boys into Mens”

And right then as my life flashed before me I knew he was right, It was me who had to GM Young guns.

For the roster I figured I might as well also post the TPE. I felt that people (like myself) would be curious how this new team concept would shape up TPE wise so there you go. Keep in mind these are just the TPE totals from my list, and could have changed slightly when the actual file is made.

F - J.J. James Jamerson Angler (291) - S60 - Germany @tMuse

F - Mikhail Novikov (284) - S60 - Russia @crutch
F - Vladlen Sidorov (277) - S60 - Russia @diacope
F - Lev Lebedev (268) - S60 - Russia @Lorec
F - Ragnar Ragnarsson (262) - S60 - Great Britain @SMD414
F - Rinky McDangle (242) - S60 - Ireland  @Eynhallow
F - Anton Harrier (235) - S60 - Ireland @Thunfish
F - Alf Magnusson (228) - S60 - Norway @ml002
F - François Gagné (212) - S60 - France @NamelessNate
F - Jeffrey MacCabe (210) - S60 - Ireland @pokedragon
F - Rob Ford (182) - S60 - Czech Republic @Aidan293
F - Tomas Zadina (167) - S61 - Czech Republic @caltroit_red_flames
F - Sheldon Dinkleberg (155) - S60 - Czech Republic @Footzah


D - Duncan The Walrus (301) - S60 - Russia @SouthPaw
D - Alfred Yankovic (286) - S60 - Austria @katarn22
D - Philip Demitra (274) - S60 - Czech Republic @Philip3242
D - Tomas Kalnoky (209) - S60 - Czech Republic @efiug
D - Karl Detloff (200) - S60 - Germany @Scheetzzy 
D - Doug Glatt (167) - S61 - Great Britain @ConnorM123
D - Randy Marsh (165) - S61 - Austria @LucidDreams702


G - Senji Seteki (272) - S60 - Japan @"nick.flint"
G - Zhen Roza (261) - S60 - Russia @Vikian

(Also for clarification I didn't get a 69% raise I definitely get paid just as little as everyone else)
This is 2x cause everything is 2x this week ya? I don't know how many words it is to be honest because I edited it in here and always see the pt claim posts about how the word counter is not trustworth so. When I checked the google docs word counter it said 666 which is pretty damn cool though.