Hippo Passamus walks up to the podium look at completly different man. His previous slim 290lbs looks more like 135lbs and he hasn't shaved in months.
With a raspy voice Mr Passamus announces that he's done with Hockey and are looking to retire and is open to answer any questions.


There hasn't been a word from you or your agent for over a season, where did you go Mr Passamus?

First off, I'd like to say a big FUCK YOU to GM, CO-GM and the captain of the Buffalo Stampede who locked me in the printer and fax room as a prank.


You've been in the utility room for a whole season?

Yes. No one prints or fax anymore, I guess they just forgot about me since I wasn't on the roster. I had to resort to eat whatever I could force down. Printer paper, plastic paper clips and such. You'd be surprised what's edible in there. Don't drink the printer ink tho.

No more questions, I'll end with an announcement. I'm Mr Buffalo. The best ever. Fuck you.


Mr Passamus pushed the podium and walks out. Never to be seen again.