TURG TURG: Where Is He Now? - Printable Version +- Simulation Hockey League (https://simulationhockey.com) +-- Forum: League Media (https://simulationhockey.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=610) +--- Forum: SHL Media (https://simulationhockey.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=46) +---- Forum: Graded Articles (https://simulationhockey.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=545) +---- Thread: TURG TURG: Where Is He Now? (/showthread.php?tid=141756)

TURG TURG: Where Is He Now? - ThisSeemsFishy - 03-09-2025 The Man. The Myth. The Legend. The Cryptid. The Sleep Paralysis Monster. Former SHL player TURG TURG has many nicknames. But where is he now? The Simulation Hockey League’s resident caveman has been unusually silent on his Chirper account where he would regularly get in arguments with the dad from Wizards of Waverly Place. And he hasn’t appeared on Hockey: Right Now in years, leaving the show in a weird in between state like when you’re waiting for your hot pocket in the microwave and idling like a Sims character. Join us today as we delve into the mystery and discover where TURG TURG is now. Let us begin with a quick recap on TURG TURGs career for those who may not have been around, or have managed to purge his frightening visage from their minds. It all started in the 54th SMJHL draft in which TURG was selected 38th overall by the Anchorage Armada. It was a move that had many people asking, “Why?” For many reasons, TURG TURG was a freak of nature who should have been put on display at the circus. Not someone who should have knives strapped to his feet and a club placed in his hands. For those who are unaware, when TURG TURG was younger, he was abandoned by his parents in the mountains and taken in by wolves to be raised.  The wolves then abandoned him as well and he was taken in by hockey players which prompted his love for the game. TURG TURG would play out his 4 seasons with Anchorage which resulted in winning a Four Star Cup in season 57. He also found himself to be a recipient of the Ron Bolt trophy for most sportsmanlike after finishing a season with 0 penalty minutes. In his off time, TURG was known for his antics. Always anticking around. Such antics would occasionally get him in trouble with the law such as the time he “accidentally” kidnapped a baby to take to get fast food which lead to a high speed police chase. Or the time he wrote a book after supposedly taking a penalty following his 0 PIM season. That book would detail exactly how TURG would commit such a heinous penalty. Following his SMJHL career, he would be called up to the big leagues, but not by the team that drafted him. The Tampa Bay Barracuda, who had only recently had a season where they finished without recording a single point in the standings, decided not to offer TURG a contract, rendering him a free agent. Free agent TURG would then sign with the Los Angeles Panthers where he would play two seasons before being selected by Philadelphia in their expansion draft. From then on, TURG would have a very quiet career, finishing out with stints in Calgary and Montreal before retiring back to the mountains. So where is he now? We have sent our best people to discover where TURG could possibly be. And we seem to have cracked the case. TURG is currently wanted for Student Loan Evasion. I wasn’t even aware he understood how to apply to a university, let alone for student loans. Classic TURG TURG. RE: TURG TURG: Where Is He Now? - NYR73 - 03-09-2025 [email protected] RE: TURG TURG: Where Is He Now? - hockeyiscool - 03-09-2025 turg turg, my goat RE: TURG TURG: Where Is He Now? - _Blitz_ - 03-10-2025 If TURG went to college, did he play NCAA hockey? Could he have gotten a NIL deal?