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+---- Thread: ALEX MACK SHL Draft Report - S22 (/showthread.php?tid=44862)
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- Alex Mack - 01-17-2015
![[Image: PavelDatsyukMoves.jpg]](http://cdn1.bloguin.com/puckdrunklove/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2013/03/PavelDatsyukMoves.jpg)
Alex Mack is a playmaking center out of Detroit who is available in the upcoming SHL Draft. He is willing to play for any teams but has some simple demands which we'll get to later. First we'll tell you about Alex Mack as a player and person. Alex Mack is dynamic and I mean that only to say that he is dynamic. Have you see his stats? He had 5 goals and 13 assists for 18 points and 14 on the powerplay. He also had a 51% face off winning percentage. As a 3rd line player with only 11 minutes a game he did amazing His abilities on the ice will thrill and amaze you. His loyalty and commitment to his team and teammates is unwavering. If a teammate needs a hand moving a couch he's there, if you need someone to screw your 18+ baby sitter he's there, if you need to hide a body he's there. If there's beer missing from your fridge, he was there. He's everywhere he needs to be both on and off the ice.
Alex Mack also throws epic post game parties with women wall to wall, if you need to get laid, call his cell, if you need to get paid, call his lawyer. With everything Alex Mack brings to the table, he's got no problem eating alone. If you show up to one of his parties, bring weed, if you show up with a coffee cake, go home.
To give you an idea as to what Alex Mack brings the ice, he's like mixing mentos and cola, he's ready to explode. His adrenaline is that of a thoroughbred horse, his eyesight is that of a eagle, or should we say Falcon. Alex Mack brought tremendous skill and energy to the Detroit Falcons this season. He was a locker room favorite and a team leader in the media section, breaking down walls and stereo types with every word.
Here's a look at some of his media work this season,
Article 1
Article 2
As you can see Alex Mack is a very valuable prospect and will be a great help to any SHL team. He is happy to play for any team in the league but has a few draft demands that we'll cover now so there is no surprises for you later. Alex Mack doesn't like surprises. The only surprises he does like is girls jumping out cakes.
Draft Demands:
1. Alex Mack will be playing 2 more seasons for Detroit. If you can't meet this demand, please don't draft me or be prepared to trade me. Despite being a shithole city, Detroit is my home and I don't want to play anywhere else. I want to be a star for my team for a couple seasons and win 2 cups before going to the pros. If you meet this demand I will be happy to sign long term with your team and even provide women for post game parties.
2. I also need a private jet because I have an indoor pool at my home in Detroit. Where I have monthly hot bikini contests which my new team will be invited to. We need to be able to get there fast.
3. I would like to go to a team that is willing to pay me commensurate with my abilities. I will expect something in the 4-5million range in order to keep up with my lifestyle.
4. In my locker during pre-game I will require green M&M's in a glass bowl and some chilled Glacial water.
5. I will require 10 hour notice if you're bringing your hot wife to a game and I'm not allowed to hit on her.
If you draft me and meet these demands I have no doubt we will have a great relationship and promise you'll be getting a great player who will help your team in 2 seasons. You will not be disappointed.
Also should know the following things:
I am divorced.
I have zero children.
I am too old to be grounded and have my computer taken away.
I have 8 Million in the Bank
I have done all the point tasks and all my trainings.
Follow me on twitter. @AlexMack
700 words.
- Ohtaay - 01-17-2015
4-5 mil, good luck in the negotiations my friend.
- Nike - 01-17-2015
I can't tell which of these things are there for comedic values and which are serious?
- BasedMinkus - 01-17-2015
Quote:Originally posted by Nike@Jan 17 2015, 06:34 PM
I can't tell which of these things are there for comedic values and which are serious?
I venture to say demand 1 is legit.
- Mariusz - 01-17-2015
Shame to waste all that time in Detroit not winning Cups.
- Nike - 01-17-2015
Quote:Originally posted by JayTee@Jan 17 2015, 09:36 PM
I venture to say demand 1 is legit.
Idk why these Detroit draftees seem to think that 2 seasons in juniors...but I've heard it from more than one.
Mook, Esa, wtf are you guys doing down there?
- Alex Mack - 01-17-2015
Quote:Originally posted by Nike@Jan 17 2015, 09:34 PMThey're all serious, especially #5, because if you got a hot wife I will bang her.
I can't tell which of these things are there for comedic values and which are serious?
- ORIGINSZ - 01-18-2015
#1 will cause a big drop in the draft expectations if hes serious. I think only 1 player has ever played more than 2 seasons(as an active).that wasone of those brothers.
- JPL - 01-18-2015
Quote:Originally posted by 16Seasonsandcountingfor1cup@Jan 17 2015, 11:03 PMChico Four-Byrde is doing it .
#1 will cause a big drop in the draft expectations if hes serious. I think only 1 player has ever played more than 2 seasons(as an active).that wasone of those brothers.
- ORIGINSZ - 01-18-2015
Quote:Originally posted by JPL@Jan 17 2015, 11:35 PM
Chico Four-Byrde is doing it .
It happens but usually they dont announce it right before the draft
- BasedMinkus - 01-18-2015
Quote:Originally posted by Nike@Jan 17 2015, 07:03 PM
Idk why these Detroit draftees seem to think that 2 seasons in juniors...but I've heard it from more than one.
Mook, Esa, wtf are you guys doing down there?
Pedersen was the same way... Until he went to LA and he was good with not coming back
- Boomcheck - 01-18-2015
If someone is actually active and stuff and trying their best to update etc, even with just PTs and training ...
I personally don't think there's a way you can spend 2 extra ssns in the minors if you put in the effort. This just means Mack won't be doing certain stuff and won't give it his 100%.
Which kind've sucks.
- vbottas17 - 01-18-2015
Chico's going to be great!
- Wasty - 01-18-2015
Or you make that TPE and keep banking it so you could be in the SHL when you hit like 600 TPE but 250 of it is banked. But you're still active and working.
- Boomcheck - 01-18-2015
Time to put a cap on banked TPE.
Dun dun dun.