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Party At Girard's House - Printable Version

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- Copenhagen - 04-25-2015

Party at Girard’s House


Edit: Wow! This blew up more than I thought... So here's the deal everyone in the league, the 4 of us will take turns writing episodes of "The Wolfpack" and don't worry there will be special guests from everyone in the league! Randy's writing the next one so bug him if you wanna be in it XD

[Image: estates.jpg]

It was 2:37 AM Friday night, Girard awakes from his deep sleep, wedged beside two beautiful models from a phone call.

“Ahem, Hello? Fuck Brumm it’s like 3 in the morning. Ugh alright fine.”

He gets out of bed and disrobes from his silk undergarments to change into a dress shirt and cotton pants. As he walks to the bathroom, he gives both girls in bed a firm spank on the ass “Get up, here’s 2 grand” as he flops the money on his heart shaped bed from his wallet. “Don’t come back until you have at least 50 more of your friends and enough booze.” The girls get up and leave eagerly as Girard washes his face in the bathroom. He stares at himself in the mirror for a second, then smirks.

As he opens the front door he can see an already smashed Patrick Brumm holding a bottle of Patron in one hand and a cuban cigar in the other. “G, what’s up buddy!?” “Get your ass in here already Patty!” Just as Girard’s about to close the door, he sees a metallic black Audi R8 drift around his marble cupid statue in the centre of his spiral driveway. It screeches to a stop and Randleman pops out of the sunroof, the shoulders of his dark suit covered in what looks like cocaine. “WHOOOOO!!”

“Haha Brumm, you invited Randy too?” “Nope, I invited all the boys.”

Randy walks in and he and Girard fist bump. Girard goes to close the door, but he can hear a loud rumble in the distance. “That’s Dambach!” yells Randy. The three watch as an orange 69’ GTO Judge growls to a stop beside Randy’s R8. “Brumm how’d you get here?” “I parked over there!” as he points to his red Ferrari which is now sinking in Girard’s man made pond aside the driveway. The three of them burst out laughing and Dambach walks in wearing his usual green “Deez Nuts” T-shirt and jeans. “Dambyy!!” They all chant as Dambach throws his hands in the air, a beer taped to each hand. “How the fuck did you drive here Edward forty hands?” asked Girard. “She drove” he replied as a beautiful young Latino lady walks in wiping her mouth off with her hand. “Ok Brumm, is that everyone now?” asked Brandon “Ya, that’s err.” replied Patty.

The four of them set off to the living room and take a seat. “K, so what’s the occasion boys?” as Girard pours a few scotches. “It’s Brumm’s bachelor party!” answered Dambach. “Oh shit, was that tonight!? Sorry man, I totally forgot. So what’s the plan?” “I thought we were just gunna hangout here, you know just the boys?” replied Brumm. “Haha naw Patty, we gotta make it special! I’ll call in a few favours wait here.” said Girard smiling.

Girard comes back down the spiral marble staircase a minute later to see one of his girls have returned, sitting on Randy’s lap. “Where’s the other one?” he asked her “The beautiful chocolate one? Ya, she’s in your guest bathroom with Brumm.” replied Dambach. “God dammit! He’s getting married tomorrow!” yelled Girard as he storms into the bathroom. He opens the bathroom door to see Brumm bent over getting whipped. “Where did you even get a whip Natasha!? Ah fuck nevermind, Patty we gotta go!” he said as he grabbed Brumm’s arm, dragging him back to the living room.

“K boys, I called in a favour, get your shit, let’s go.” said Girard smirking. The four guys stepped onto Girard’s front lawn as a spotlight shines down on them. “You got a helicopter you rich son of a bitch?” asked Dambach. It lands and they all scramble into the chopper. “Where are we going!?” screamed Randy over the loud noise. “Vegas!” replied Girard.


The time is 7am, location Las Vegas, Nevada. Dambach awakes lying face down in a pile of panties in what looks like a hotel room. He looks over to see Girard completely naked with nothing but a cowboy hat covering his genitals. “Ugh” he moans as he rubs his eyes. “Good! You guys are up!” yells Randy bursting into the room with a platter of bacon for breakfast. “How are you up already!?” asked Girard. “I never went to bed! Cocaine is a helluva drug!” answers Randy. “What happened last night?” asked Dambach. “No fucking clue, everything after the helicopter ride is a blur!” responded Randy. “No idea.” said Girard.

Girard get’s out of bed and puts a suit that had been lying on the hotel room floor on and walks into the bathroom. “WHAT THE FUCK!?” yelled Girard immediately after entering the bathroom. “There must be 100 kilos of cocaine in here guys!” he yelled. “WHAT, LET ME SEE!” screamed Randy looking like a giddy school girl as he runs into the bathroom, his face totally stunned as he enters. “Wait a minute, where’s Brumm?” asked Dambach, still lying in bed. Just as he says this, the entire hotel room is as if D-Day 1944 just broke out. Shots coming from outside the hotel room burst through breaking the windows and flying everywhere “Shit get down!” The three guys Dambach, Randy and Girard get down and crawl to the hotel room door and are able to reach the staircase. “What the fuck!” yelled Randy. “I don't know!!” yells Girard just as a Mexican runs up the stairs wielding an AK-47. Dambach wearing nothing but a pair of women’s panties pulls a gun from them and shoots the Mexican as he falls limp down the stairs. “Where did you get a gun!!” yelled Randy “I have no idea!!!!” replied Dambach. “What the hell is going on!?” screamed Girard.

The three guys reach the lobby filled with Mexican gangsters armed to the teeth. They hide behind the corner “Let’s go out the back” said Girard. “GOOD IDEA!” yells Randy. “Why are you yelling?” asked Dambach “IT”S THE COCAINE” “Shut up!” yells Girard, “be quiet!” They are able to find an exit and sneak outside. “We have to find Brumm and get back home” says Dambach. “Any ideas where to start?” asked Girard. Just as he asks this Dambach fishes through his panties and finds a business card that says Mugs n’ Jugs on it. “Why don’t we start here?” he asks. “Good idea, where is it” asks Randy “1107 Freemont Street” he replies.

The oddly dressed triplet walks down the empty streets of Vegas, filled with garbage and litter everywhere from the night before. A shitty silver car rips around the corner and comes to a dead stop in front of them, as a tiny asian dude pops out of the vehicle. “Herro muthafuckas” he yells as 5 large mexicans come out of the nearby alley. “Who are you!?” asked Dambach “Why, I am Sum Ting Wong, you don’t member me?” he replies. “No we have no idea what happened last night!” replied Girard. “You bitchez stole my coke, and now you gots to pay!” The boys are tied up and blind folded as they are stuffed into the car.

The time is 8am, location Nevada desert. The boy’s blindfolds are taken off but still blinded by the bright desert sun. Randy is pistol whipped in the face by Sum Ting Wong. “OWWWW!!” he screams. “Shud ap!” replies Sum Ting Wong. “You boys, are in wery big trouble, you steal from Mr. Wong.” “We didn’t do anything!” yelled Girard as he squirms to get out of the rope binding his hands. “WHERE IS THE COKE!” screams Wong. “We’ll tell you if you help us find our friend!” replies Randy. “I have your fwiend, he’s right here” The buff Mexican guys drag a limp guy with a garbage bag over his head over and drop him to the ground. “MMMMM, AAAGHHAG MMMM.” growls the guy very muffled. “Now tell me where the coke is and you can has your fwiend. “It’s in the hotel room dumbass” replies Dambach. “NOOOO DON”T TELL HIM THAT, IT”S MINE!” yells Randy. “Wery good!” replies Wong as he throws the man with the garbage bag over to the boys and drives off in a black limo with the other men.

Girard runs over to the man, hands still tied behind his back. “Here use this!” says Dambach as he grabs a knife out of his panties with his teeth and tosses it to Girard. “How many things do you have in there!?” replies Randy. Girard cuts himself and the others loose. “K good, now let’s get Brumm cut loose and get out of here!” says Girard as he cuts the man’s bag off his head. “Oh my god thank you!” replies the man. “Who the fuck are you!? asks Randy to the short man, obviously not Brumm. “It’s me guys, Kyle!” he replies. “Prince! What are you doing here, where’s Brumm!? asked Girard “I don’t know! He was with us last night though.” replied Prince. “Lastnight, where?” said Dambach. “Mugs n Jugs, the strip club” said Prince. “We gotta go there!” said Girard. “If he’s there can we just have one lap dance before we go home?” asked Randy. “NO!” yelled Dambach and Girard at the same time.

The time is 10am, location “Mugs n Jugs” strip club, downtown Las Vegas. Girard, Randy, Dambach and Prince open the doors to an empty strip bar, Sweet Cherry Pie is playing in the background with one lone stripper lazily dancing at center stage. Randy runs up to her and throws $100 bill on the stage. “Fuck Randy no!” yells Dambach. “Excuse me miss have you seen our friend, Patrick Brumm, he was probably drunk?” asked Girard “Yeah, that guy was thrown out of here for slapping Britney in the face, ask the bouncer over there.” she says, while taking her bra off. The boys sit there staring for almost 20 minutes before Dambach says “Ya, guys we should probably keep looking for Brumm now…” “Ok” says Girard as the three of them walk backwards towards the bouncer, still staring in the stripper’s direction with Prince still sitting there, mouth dropped wide open.

“Hey, have you seen our friend?” asked Girard to the bouncer. “You guys again eh?” replied the bouncer, arms crossed. “What do you mean” said Dambach “Well, you guys come in here fucked up more than Charlie Sheen, throwing thousands of dollars around and think you own the place!” he replied. “So your bar made thousands of dollars on us and you’re mad?” replied Randy. “Good point, yeah your friend was here last night, Brumm I think his name was” answered the bouncer. “That’s him, where is he?!” replied Dambach “I threw him out for trying to Brazillian Mud Flaps on Britney!” replied the bouncer. “What’s that?” asked Dambach “Well actually is when…” “Shut up Randy” snapped Girard. “The police came and took him.” answered the bouncer. “Where can we find him!?” asked Dambach “69th precinct on the corner of 3rd and main.” he replied. “Guys we gotta go!” said Girard

The time is 11:57am, location 69th precinct. “Yeah, uh we’re here to pickup our friend” said Girard to the lady at the desk. “Patrick Probably Drunk Brumm” “Ok, bail is $90,000.” replied the lady. “What! You’ve got to be kidding!” said Dambach. “Nope, the bail for 5 counts of public drunkenness, 6 counts of public nudity, 2 counts of assault on an officer, theft, drug possession, DUI, arson, bribery, disorderly conduct, prostitution, sexual assault, shoplifting, vandalism and harrassment is $90,000.” she laughed. “Ok, guys I got this” said Girard as he smacks the money on the table like a boss. An officer comes over to escort the boys over to Brumm in a holding cell. “LET ME OUT OF HERE!” Brumm screams, bound in a straight jacket. “You’re free to go.” says the cop. “What the fuck happened last night guys!? asked Brumm.

The time is 5pm, location Regina. “Do you Patrick take this bride to be your loffely wedded wife?” asked the priest. “I do” says Brumm as he winks to his best men, Dambach, Randy and Girard beside him.


[Image: the_hangover32.jpg]

Word Count: 2,033


- Copenhagen - 04-25-2015

I probably could've found a better ending but it was 3 am sorry guys :lol:


- JNH - 04-25-2015

I call coming to the next party, sounded rowdy as fuck Smile)


- Ballerstorm - 04-25-2015

So.... That makes me Bradley Cooper right?

This was the most legendary thing I've come across on here yet


- Ballerstorm - 04-25-2015

Quote:Originally posted by JNH@Apr 24 2015, 11:03 PM
I call coming to the next party, sounded rowdy as fuck Smile)
I'll put you on th VIP list


- Steelhead77 - 04-25-2015

Great read! :lol:


- tweedlebrumm - 04-25-2015

Randy meet me in the bathroom I need a key shot to make it through this wedding


- R++ - 04-25-2015

Quote:Originally posted by Ballerstorm@Apr 25 2015, 03:20 AM
So.... That makes me Bradley Cooper right?

This was the most legendary thing I've come across on here yet



Pretty sure me and my panties where while you were Zack..


also I googled Brazillian Mud Flaps , someone tell me what it is! lol





Good story, I like how I am the semi responsible one Tongue Cheers


- Ballerstorm - 04-25-2015

Quote:Originally posted by probablydrunk@Apr 25 2015, 07:10 AM
Randy meet me in the bathroom I need a key shot to make it through this wedding
Say the word and ill get you the fuck out of here man


- damienj10 - 04-25-2015

LMFAO I am coming with you guys for your next party my life being dull as shit must go and get my party life in gear. Good Read 11/10would make a movie. 420 yolo swaggins


- Copenhagen - 04-25-2015

Quote:Originally posted by Ballerstorm@Apr 25 2015, 02:20 AM
So.... That makes me Bradley Cooper right?

It goes from left to right Girard, Dambach, Randy and Brumm

[Image: the_hangover32.jpg]


- tweedlebrumm - 04-25-2015

Randy's Dr.*****


- Ballerstorm - 04-25-2015

Quote:Originally posted by probablydrunk@Apr 25 2015, 08:49 AM
Randy's Dr.*****
Yah I'm a doctor that's right.


- Copenhagen - 04-25-2015

Quote:Originally posted by Ballerstorm@Apr 25 2015, 11:54 AM

Yah I'm a doctor that's right.

The funny thing is we all use players or people to represent us on SHL and if you think about it Giroux looks similar to Cooper, Galafanakis reminds me of Hartnell(Dambach), Dr. Dentist guy looks kinda like Randy's avatar pick and whatever his name on the far right looks like Tommy Wingels (Brumm)


- GoodLeftUndone - 04-25-2015

Benson needs to make an appearance next time tbqh