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All S35 SMJHL Teams as a Character from Naruto - Printable Version

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+---- Thread: All S35 SMJHL Teams as a Character from Naruto (/showthread.php?tid=77539)

- nour - 07-27-2017

<div align="center">With the SMJHL season coming to a close, we enter the dreaded nightmare of an existence that hockey fans and players alike must come to grips with - the offseason. It is a hard time for all involved, with many coping mechanisms only providing a short amount of relief in these troubling times, it becomes a frantic rush to find some way to deal with the pain, and to fill the void left by the SMJHL’s absence. Fortunately, there is an answer:

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For many hockey fans, Offseason Shitposting has become something of an art form, and a much larger medium than it was originally intended. What started as a fun way to deal with depression due to a lack of hockey, advanced and evolved to the point of true emotional expression, and the peak of human creativity. Shitposting has kept the lives and spirits of the hockey community at healthy levels, and it will continue to provide its healing power to the souls of many for generations. So long as there is an offseason, the warming touch of a shitpost will be there to enlighten, inspire and repair the hearts of the SMJHL faithful. With the dark times ahead until S36, let us now gaze upon the first shitpost of the offseason, and ideally, the one that will light the fire for many more to come. Without further ado, here are all 8 SMJHL teams’ S35 performance, summed up as a character in Naruto.

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Halifax Raiders/Konohamaru

Starting at last and working our way up, Halifax’s season results bears striking similarity to the Third Hokage’s grandson. Like Konohamaru, the Halifax Raiders are young, inexperienced, and still have a lot to learn from those who’ve been around the block a few more times. Sometimes they’re a bit naive, but most importantly, they’re enthusiastic and dedicated to better themselves. Its that drive to be the best that will eventually allow them to reach success when they mature. People sleep on the Raiders, but for Raiders faithful, you must always remember: They slept on Konohamaru too, and now he’s one of only 7 characters in the entire series’ history to master the Rasengan. Not too bad!

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Detroit Falcons/Sakura

A disappointing season for Detroit was capped with an elimination from the SMJHL playoff race on the season’s final day, which reminds us that no matter how many flashes of brilliance you show, if you suck, you just suck, no way around it. It doesn’t matter how strong you get, or how many medical justus you learn, sometimes you’re just born to suck. Just because Detroit pulled a few nice wins in the regular season against some strong teams means nothing. Sakura beat a member of the Akatsuki and still no one likes her.

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Colorado Mammoths/Naruto

With an article like this, someone had to be the titular character! Regular season performance from the Mammoths gave us a look at pre-Shippuden Naruto, with some flashes of brilliance but ultimately, not enough of his own power to make a lasting impact as a shinobi. However, Colorado’s playoff performance is what really solidifies them as post-shippuden Naruto. One of the playoffs best teams, pushed all the way to the finals as the underdog for 3 straight series’. For Naruto fans, one arc is regarded amongst the shows’ best: The Chunin Exams. No one expected Naruto to beat Kiba, but he did anyways, just like the Mammoths beat the Firebirds. No one expected Naruto to beat Neji, but he did anyways, just like the Mammoths beat the Scarecrows. They’ll continue to be a top team in this league, and a little boost from the nine tails’ chakra can’t hurt.

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Kelowna Knights/Rock Lee

At the trade deadline, after Kelowna Knights longtime captain John Langabeer, had been traded away, things looked bleak, and not much hope was to be found for the team’s players. They were facing adversity, but they were far from ready to just throw in the towel and give up, and if anyone knows what it means to stand tall in the face of adversity, its the taijutsu master, Rock Lee! Lacking the skillset to be able to perform even the most basic Ninjutsu or Genjutsu? Rock Lee became a powerful shinobi regardless! 14 points out of a playoff spot and traded their captain? The Kelowna Knights made the playoffs anyways! Just as Rock Lee surprised Gaara with his speed during the Chunin Exams, likewise did Kelowna surprise the SMJHL with their skill.

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Montreal Militia/Kiba

Kiba is not necessarily a bad ninja, he was however brought up at perhaps one of the worst times possible to be a shinobi. His jutsu was unique, he came from an impressive clan, and he had a rowdy and interesting personality to be sure. The problem that comes for both Montreal and Kiba however, is that when lined up to their counterparts, they fall very flat, and just fall into the trap of being an average amongst greats. Montreal had a very above average regular season, but without the last minute comeback Kelowna had, or the pure domination that St. Louis and Vancouver had, or the fall from grace Colorado had, how’s a team like Montreal supposed to stand out? Kiba couldn’t stand out in the era of Naruto and Sasuke, and unfortunately for the Militia, they struggled to stand out as well. No one remembers Kiba for his first round elimination during the Chunin Exams, its hard to believe the Militia’s first round exit will be any more memorable.

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Prince George Firebirds/Neji

Neji Hyuga, is a cool dude, a certified bad ass, and one of the most powerful shinobi to appear in the Naruto series. He stands ahead of a lot of his classmates, just like the Firebirds did, and its hard not to root for him. Neji is a likeable character, and in the same vein, PGF was filled with a cast of very likeable players. This only served to make their untimely and undeserving death all the more painful. The crux of their season is not that they were powerful, but unfortunately that they were gone much to early, despite being known to be a lot more capable than they were at their end, to the point that their death just MAKES NO SENSE. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE NEJI? YOU WERE SO AMAZING THIS ISN’T FAIR! YOU’RE BETTER THAN THIS!!!!!!!

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Vancouver Whalers/Madara

Just too, too, too much power. An unfair amount of power. The only difference between Madara and the Whalers is that Vancouver ultimately wins finally. Otherwise though, both are just stupid powerful, Madara’s defense using his susanoo’s outer armour is damn near impossible to break, and a lot of times during the Whalers run, the Whalers’ own “susanoo” by the name of Carrick Murray was equally impossible to solve. Thats not even mentioning the comparisons of the offensive abilities of the eternal mangekyo sharingan, rinnegan and multiple nature releases with the firepower of guys like Odjick, Bennet and literally the entire Whalers defence. Its foolishness, no character can be this powerful, and yet Madara is, and like Madara, so are the Whalers. Congrats on your cup though, but if the similarities continue one of your descendants will end up murdering your entire clan, so that’s not too great.

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St. Louis Scarecrows/Sasuke

Sometimes, raw power is amazing enough to carry you far, but not all the way. This is a lesson characters like Sasuke learn, and unfortunately it often comes the hard way. You could argue that perhaps nothing the Crows did was inherently wrong, or a bad call, but there is more to success than just raw firepower, and often its the creativity of the Narutos and Colorados that supersede the brute force of the Sasukes and Scarecrows of this world. Like Sasuke going to Orochimaru for guidance, the Scarecrows turned to John Langabeer, and despite becoming more powerful for it, they were ultimately defeated, and left scratching their heads as to why all their power just couldn’t work. Sasuke turns from his vengeful and misguided ways and returns to the Leaf, perhaps the Scarecrows need to recollect and find themselves at home once again too.

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What are your thoughts? How shitty was this shitpost? Do any other characters fit the bill better? IS comparing teams to anime characters interesting or a complete waste of time? Discuss in the comments! Also don’t forget to SMASH that like (+1rep) button if you liked this article, and don’t forget to subscribe (take me high in the SHL Draft) if you want to see more!

This article goes out to <a href='index.php?showuser=2297' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-10'>InciteHysteria</a> and @[Kevin“Juice”Bieksa], who I’m sure will appreciate this.</div>

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- Loco - 07-27-2017

when sakura finds out u sleighted her [Image: giphy.gif]

- Sleepy - 07-27-2017

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- artermis - 07-27-2017

ey, that's pretty good

- Grapehead - 07-27-2017

I don't know how to feel about this... <a href='index.php?showuser=2031' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-10'>Raven</a> tell me how I feel about this plz

- .bojo - 07-27-2017

Quote:Originally posted by Grapehead@Jul 27 2017, 08:49 AM
I don't know how to feel about this... <a href='index.php?showuser=2031' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-10'>Raven</a> tell me how I feel about this plz

Raven just called me a weeaboo. Makes me sad...

Maybe he if watched LWA he wouldn't be so mean

- CFJ - 07-27-2017

Good read!

- Raven - 07-27-2017

Quote:Originally posted by Grapehead@Jul 27 2017, 03:49 PM
I don't know how to feel about this... <a href='index.php?showuser=2031' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-10'>Raven</a> tell me how I feel about this plz

It's Naruto, you should feel eeeew about it.

Also shut up <a href='index.php?showuser=1157' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-13'>Bojo</a> you weebaboo

- Ghostspeed - 07-27-2017

[Image: brondurantwtf.gif]

- Grapehead - 07-27-2017

Quote:Originally posted by Raven@Jul 27 2017, 12:39 PM


It's Naruto, you should feel eeeew about it.

Also shut up <a href='index.php?showuser=1157' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-13'>Bojo</a> you weebaboo
ilu

- Camo - 07-27-2017

Lol this is awesome

- formx - 07-27-2017

Damn that's hot

- ontanis - 07-27-2017

Awesome work, Nour!

- Slappydoodle - 07-30-2017

I don't know the first thing about Naruto. That being said, whoever is the coolest and most successful character that all the girls want and all the boys want to be, that should be the Kelowna Knights. Nuff said.

Knights B)

- adamantium - 07-30-2017

Jesus christ, our offseason isn't even that long, and the shitposting is just as glorious.

God bless you, Nour, I didn't even know I needed this.