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+---- Thread: Dear Detroit (/showthread.php?tid=92883)
Dear Detroit - sharksisback - 01-30-2019
It’s been a while since I’ve taken some sweet time out of my day to talk to my friends over in Detroit. Ah yes, the Falcons. A team I once admired. What happened to you, Detroit? There was so much promise back in the day. You had so many chances to get better and bring in hungry talent. Instead, you bring in a Smeb. I get it, I really do. You’re scared of personality. You’re scared of something different. It’s almost as if fate has brought us here to meet in the 2nd round.
Let’s get something real fuckin straight right now. I don’t like you Detroit. I see zero redeemable qualities about you. So you’re number 1 seed. Congratulations you can hang that banner right next to your participation trophies. You haven’t played us in a long time. Last time you played us was in the midst of our growing pains. We didn’t have an Ethan Ross, or Gaspard Boone or Thomas Bathory. Those are the definition of game changers. Oh and by the way, we beat you once without them, and we’ll beat you four times with them.
I can talk as much shit about you as possible, and trust me I will, but I think I’ll let my teammates do some of the talking for once. This isn’t a rogue, loose cannon “oh haha Troy’s being drunk Troy again” type of thing. This is pure, unadulterated hate.
First up is my boy Perry Morgan who I have ZERO ISSUES WITH.
"I heard someone in upper management shit talk them and figured I'd join on the hate train. Also certain players have been absolute twats on social media"
I have no idea what he may be referring to. Hmm. Interesting.
Next up is my boy Andrej Doskocil who I still need to take on a drinking trip.
“Hippo, nice of you to bring your own lube, at least I don't have to pay for it myself"
Personally, when I think of this series, I didn’t think of bringing lube because I wanted it to be painful for Detroit. Then again I’m a wee bit fooked in the head.
And the face of our franchise Jimmy Slothface weighed in too.
“The only thing more broke than the city of Detroit is the Falcons' roster”
Can confirm, the Falcons’ roster makes Sears look like a thriving business.
Listen, I think you get the picture. The fact that we’re gonna share the ice with you makes me sad. An entire city of suffering, hard working people now have hope in you. And what do you do when you have hope in Detroit? You fail. It’s a fact of life. I used to think, “man Detroit could use something like the Deplorables again”. And then you all came along and I remember why everyone hated me for rooting for the Falcons. I get it now. I was the asshole all along.
I mean this from the bottom of my heart, we are going to demoralize you from the beginning. And you’ll deserve every bit of it. To quote the master poets Taking Back Sunday, “I just wanna break you down so badly, in the worst way”. The best part will be how you can explain to the SHL GMs why you lost to a lowly 9 seed. The only answer you can have is “that’s the best damn 9 seed you’ll ever see” because that’s what we fuckin are. Be blessed to share the ice with us. Feel an amount of pride in facing us that matches the amount of disgust I feel in playing you. It’s okay if you can’t find an explanation for losing to us, I’m sure there’s one GM that will still take you.
Kit Smeb, I said it earlier and I’ll say it again. Out of the family of feral creatures that infested this league, you are the one I despise most. Detroit picked you so far ahead and yet, I’m not impressed with your performance. I’m sure you’ll come back with a quip about my lack of regular season production, but let’s remember that I’ve got 2 game winners in the first round alone. When the deck is stacked against us, we thrive. You haven’t been tested and I have a feeling you’ll falter just like Anaheim. Kit you’re going to go crying back to Mama Smeb and tell her what all those big bad Raiders did to make you sob like a child who lost their favorite toy.
And Hippo, you’re gonna need more than lube to keep this from being painful. The salt mines in Detroit seem to be the best business running there. You would think a first place team wouldn’t have much to complain about, yet I keep hearing these rumbling stories about you all. It all catches up with you eventually. It’ll be a pleasure to knock you out of the playoffs, pull out the upset of the ages, and watch the salt explode from Detroit as if Krakatoa was erupting again.
At least I felt respect for Anaheim when we beat them. I can’t say the same here.
Troy Reynolds
Raiders Right Winger
There’s No Joke Here
RE: Dear Detroit - WannabeFinn - 01-30-2019
Just know that if and when Halifax loses, this post will become a copypasta
RE: Dear Detroit - Flareon - 01-30-2019
01-30-2019, 08:06 PMWannabeFinn Wrote: Just know that if and when Halifax loses, this post will become a copypasta
tHiS wIlL bECoMe CoPyPaStA
RE: Dear Detroit - Scrufdaddy - 01-30-2019
Fuck Detroit!
RE: Dear Detroit - JSS - 01-30-2019
01-30-2019, 08:09 PMFlareon4043 Wrote:01-30-2019, 08:06 PMWannabeFinn Wrote: Just know that if and when Halifax loses, this post will become a copypasta
tHiS wIlL bECoMe CoPyPaStA
It’s been a while since I’ve taken some sweet time out of my day to talk to my friends over in Detroit. Ah yes, the Falcons. A team I once admired. What happened to you, Detroit? There was so much promise back in the day. You had so many chances to get better and bring in hungry talent. Instead, you bring in a Smeb. I get it, I really do. You’re scared of personality. You’re scared of something different. It’s almost as if fate has brought us here to meet in the 2nd round.
Let’s get something real fuckin straight right now. I don’t like you Detroit. I see zero redeemable qualities about you. So you’re number 1 seed. Congratulations you can hang that banner right next to your participation trophies. You haven’t played us in a long time. Last time you played us was in the midst of our growing pains. We didn’t have an Ethan Ross, or Gaspard Boone or Thomas Bathory. Those are the definition of game changers. Oh and by the way, we beat you once without them, and we’ll beat you four times with them.
I can talk as much shit about you as possible, and trust me I will, but I think I’ll let my teammates do some of the talking for once. This isn’t a rogue, loose cannon “oh haha Troy’s being drunk Troy again” type of thing. This is pure, unadulterated hate.
First up is my boy Perry Morgan who I have ZERO ISSUES WITH.
"I heard someone in upper management shit talk them and figured I'd join on the hate train. Also certain players have been absolute twats on social media"
I have no idea what he may be referring to. Hmm. Interesting.
Next up is my boy Andrej Doskocil who I still need to take on a drinking trip.
“Hippo, nice of you to bring your own lube, at least I don't have to pay for it myself"
Personally, when I think of this series, I didn’t think of bringing lube because I wanted it to be painful for Detroit. Then again I’m a wee bit fooked in the head.
And the face of our franchise Jimmy Slothface weighed in too.
“The only thing more broke than the city of Detroit is the Falcons' roster”
Can confirm, the Falcons’ roster makes Sears look like a thriving business.
Listen, I think you get the picture. The fact that we’re gonna share the ice with you makes me sad. An entire city of suffering, hard working people now have hope in you. And what do you do when you have hope in Detroit? You fail. It’s a fact of life. I used to think, “man Detroit could use something like the Deplorables again”. And then you all came along and I remember why everyone hated me for rooting for the Falcons. I get it now. I was the asshole all along.
I mean this from the bottom of my heart, we are going to demoralize you from the beginning. And you’ll deserve every bit of it. To quote the master poets Taking Back Sunday, “I just wanna break you down so badly, in the worst way”. The best part will be how you can explain to the SHL GMs why you lost to a lowly 9 seed. The only answer you can have is “that’s the best damn 9 seed you’ll ever see” because that’s what we fuckin are. Be blessed to share the ice with us. Feel an amount of pride in facing us that matches the amount of disgust I feel in playing you. It’s okay if you can’t find an explanation for losing to us, I’m sure there’s one GM that will still take you.
Kit Smeb, I said it earlier and I’ll say it again. Out of the family of feral creatures that infested this league, you are the one I despise most. Detroit picked you so far ahead and yet, I’m not impressed with your performance. I’m sure you’ll come back with a quip about my lack of regular season production, but let’s remember that I’ve got 2 game winners in the first round alone. When the deck is stacked against us, we thrive. You haven’t been tested and I have a feeling you’ll falter just like Anaheim. Kit you’re going to go crying back to Mama Smeb and tell her what all those big bad Raiders did to make you sob like a child who lost their favorite toy.
And Hippo, you’re gonna need more than lube to keep this from being painful. The salt mines in Detroit seem to be the best business running there. You would think a first place team wouldn’t have much to complain about, yet I keep hearing these rumbling stories about you all. It all catches up with you eventually. It’ll be a pleasure to knock you out of the playoffs, pull out the upset of the ages, and watch the salt explode from Detroit as if Krakatoa was erupting again.
At least I felt respect for Anaheim when we beat them. I can’t say the same here.
RE: Dear Detroit - JSS - 01-30-2019
finished 9th and trynna chirp
yikes boys
RE: Dear Detroit - Citizen of Adraa - 01-30-2019
01-30-2019, 08:15 PMJSS Wrote: finished 9th and trynna chirpyou gotta do what you gotta do, at least have some fun with this when we suck lol
yikes boys
RE: Dear Detroit - notorioustig - 01-30-2019
Oof ouch owie
RE: Dear Detroit - Fantobens - 01-30-2019
Hot take.
RE: Dear Detroit - Flareon - 01-30-2019
01-30-2019, 08:15 PMJSS Wrote: finished 9th and trynna chirp
yikes boys
least we have a sense of humour about it
RE: Dear Detroit - Fantobens - 01-30-2019
01-30-2019, 08:21 PMFlareon4043 Wrote:01-30-2019, 08:15 PMJSS Wrote: finished 9th and trynna chirp
yikes boys
least we have a sense of humour about it
Cool.
RE: Dear Detroit - Blastmeaway - 01-30-2019
Hell yea brother, Cheers from Edmonton St. Louis!
:beers:
RE: Dear Detroit - JSS - 01-30-2019
When you go from 10th to 9th
![[Image: giphy.gif]](https://media.giphy.com/media/NraqQWJiCvY2I/giphy.gif)
RE: Dear Detroit - Blastmeaway - 01-30-2019
01-30-2019, 08:23 PMBlastmeaway Wrote: Hell yea brother, Cheers from Edmonton St. Louis!
RE: Dear Detroit - dankoa - 01-30-2019
Kleslar old buddy it's good to see you again