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Halifax [Fridge] Raiders - Im_A_Boonana - 02-15-2019
(625 words)
It's no secret that professional athletes need to eat big. Many of us can recall the Michael Phelps commercial back in the day that showed how much an olympic swimmer has to pack down every day. 10,000 calories a day. To put that in perspective, the average adult male should be eating around 2,200 a day to maintain their current weight. Well thankfully, us hockey players don't need to pound away a dozen eggs every morning. I surveyed the Halifax Raiders to see what they eat on a daily basis to keep themselves fit for playing.
Jimmy Slothface, son to two literal sloths, maintains a healthy diet of leaves and occasionally berries. He claims that's what he was fed growing up and his palate hasn't changed much since. When asked about how he gets his protein, he just kinda shrugged and continued eating his salad that looks a little bit like leaves he found in the parking lot outside covered in some ranch dressing.
We quickly moved on to Center, Matt Kholin, who seemed a bit more open to questioning. On a day to day basis, Matt says he eats just about anything that's in front of him. He does enjoy to cook, however. Kholin was very specific to mention that he eats a lot of meat, which is to be expected of an athlete. It's hard to get enough protein to build muscle without a healthy serving of meat. Kholin did state, very clearly, that the meat he eats is not human meat. He seemed insistent that we made note of this. Matt Kholin does NOT eat human meat.
Defenseman, Ethan Ross, was very excited to talk to us about his food. Ross just bought a pressure cooker and says he has been experimenting with a number of different types of food. A favorite of his lately has been Indian Butter Chicken on white rice. Ross says the pressure cooker has genuinely changed his life for the better and has been eagerly sharing recipes with his teammate Gaspard Boone. Boone chimed in at this point to confirm that the butter chicken was a hit. Ross was also eager to show us pictures of his latest success in the kitchen, pork tenderloin and potatoes.
Food seems to be a very intimate part of the Halifax Locker Room. They are constantly showing each other images of food they have recently made, bought, and/or consumed. They also share tips on how to improve basic foods with each other such as Mayonnaise as a butter replacement on a grilled cheese. Supposedly this knowledge has been passed down through generations of past Raiders. Ghosts of alumni whispering this sacred knowledge unto the rookies so that we too may enjoy the tasty treat of grilled cheese without the grease coating your fingers.
Throughout this questioning of the team, many of the players seemed to skirt around a certain incident. No one was willing to elaborate in detail what happened, but from what we were able to gather Dom Montgomery attempted to make his own grilled cheese but was pathetically low on supplies. There was something about half a bagel and melted string cheese but the boys weren't going to indulge on the specifics.
Lastly, Troy Reynolds shared his quaint yet meaningful meal with us. He claims to eat at least one spicy chicken sandwich every day. Some of the other boys were able to confirm for us that he does seem to eat them extremely frequently. When prodded further, Reynolds explained that a good day is determined by whether or not he gets a spicy chicken sandwich. Any day with a spicy chicken sandwich is a good day to Troy.
RE: Halifax [Fridge] Raiders - slothfacekilla - 02-15-2019
This article + your signature = give me all the food
RE: Halifax [Fridge] Raiders - bilbo - 02-16-2019
OH MY GOD. lmaooo. tbf, dom would def fail at making a grilled cheese, too. That's something we share. Can't believe you attacked me like this, boonana.
RE: Halifax [Fridge] Raiders - sharksisback - 02-16-2019
Great article, now I want a spicy chicken sandwich again.