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+---- Thread: Who's Getting Nailed (S47 Edition) (/showthread.php?tid=96175)
Who's Getting Nailed (S47 Edition) - hotdog - 05-20-2019
(word count: 435 + research)
Back again for another breakdown of who's getting ravaged out there on the SMJHL ice
The Sasha Grey Award
"Getting Nailed the Most"
Metric: Total Hits Taken
1 - Matt Kholin (HAL) - 131
2 - Raino Kyllonen (DET) - 114
3 - Martijn Westbroek (ANA) - 109
4 - Aaron Wilson (VAN) - 107
5 - Monkey D Luffy (LBL) - 106
T6 - Knute Knurtsson (COL) - 104
T6 - Kristoffer Svensson (MTL) - 104
8 - Cant Eykhil (LBL) - 97
9 - Xena (ANC) - 95
T10 - Ja'Aj Coitus-Wagg (COL) - 94
T10 - Borromini Cannellini (VAN) - 94
The Mia Khalifa Award
"Relevantly nailed for a short time"
Metric: Hits Taken / Minutes Played (min: 300)
1 - Matt Kholin (HAL) - .129
2 - Andy Kerr (VAN) - .127
3 - Raino Kyllonen (DET) - .124
4 - Gaspard Boone (HAL/STL) - .122
5 - Aaron Wilson (VAN) - .115
6 - Ja'Aj Coitus-Wagg (COL) - .110
7 - Mika Kandinsky (STL) - .108
8 - Lex Peters (DET) - .106
9 - Monkey D Luffy (LBL) - .101
10 - Knute Knurtsson (COL) - .100
The Power Bottom Award
"Never not getting nailed"
What's going on with Kelowna this year? Half of the top ten in this category
Metric: Hits Taken / Hits Delivered (min 300 minutes played)
1 - Gunnar Soderberg (KEL) - 6 (72/12)
2 - Josef Novotny (KEL) - 5.5 (22/4)
3 - Barry Batsbak (KEL) - 4.28 (77/18)
4 - Kristoffer Svensson (MTL) - 4 (104/26)
5 - Lex Peters (DET) - 3.85 (50/13)
6 - Yoshimitsu McCloud (ANA) - 3.78 (34/9)
7 - Zach Laliberte (KEL) - 3.57 (50/14)
8 - Bryan Lee (KEL) - 3.44 (31/9)
9 - Gaspard Boone (HAL/STL) - 3.23 (84/26)
10 - Spencer MacLean (ANC) - 3.11 (87/28)
The 69 Special
"Give a lick, take a lick"
Metric: Closest to even in Hits Taken / Hits Delivered (min 20 in either)
1 - Jimmy Slothface (HAL/VAN) - 45/45
2 - Theo Morgan (VAN) - 44/44
3 - Josef Kubinec (HAL) - 34/34
4 - Travis Bitties (DET) - 32/32
5 - Fork Spoon (STL) - 30/30
6 - Taisei-Tiikeri Wawazat (STL/HAL) - 72/71
7 - Big Fudge (KEL) - 49/50
8 - Zarley Zalapski (MTL) - 36/37
9 - Emeka Valentine-Okoli (COL) - 27/26
10 - Griffith Cadwalader (MTL) - 58/60
The Jim Harbaugh Award
"The body actually craves contact"
Metric: Total Collisions (Hits Taken + Hits Delivered)
1 - Cant Eykhil (LBL) - 189
2 - Matt Kholin (HAL) - 184
3 - Nathan Explosion (KEL) - 179
4 - Martijn Westbroek (ANA) - 177
5 - Raino Kyllonen (DET) - 169
6 - Vadim Malichov (KEL) - 168
7 - Commander Shepard (MTL) - 167
8 - Michael Fox (STL) - 163
9 - Kalvins Zvejnieks (DET) - 159
10 - Borromini Cannellini (VAN) - 155
The Tori Black Starlet of the Year Award
Nominees:
Matt Kholin (HAL)
Raino Kyllonen (DET)
Kristoffer Svensson (MTL)
Winner:
Matt Kholin (HAL)
![[Image: 7coCa6Q.jpg]](https://i.imgur.com/7coCa6Q.jpg)
congrats @Kalakar on the award!
RE: Who's Getting Nailed (S47 Edition) - slothfacekilla - 05-20-2019
Perfectly balanced two seasons in a row, I love it.
Good work!
RE: Who's Getting Nailed (S47 Edition) - hotdog - 05-20-2019
05-20-2019, 11:38 AMslothfacekilla Wrote: Perfectly balanced two seasons in a row, I love it.
Jimmy Slothface, hero for equality
RE: Who's Getting Nailed (S47 Edition) - PenKnight - 05-20-2019
I made one of the Lists!!
Unfortunately, it is named the 69 Special.
RE: Who's Getting Nailed (S47 Edition) - awils13 - 05-20-2019
wow people like hitting me :(
I wonder which attributes affect this stat
Seems like everyone on the list is a center, and I assume centers carry the puck more often which is why they're getting hit
RE: Who's Getting Nailed (S47 Edition) - hotdog - 05-20-2019
05-20-2019, 12:15 PMaaronwilson Wrote: I wonder which attributes affect this stat
Seems like everyone on the list is a center, and I assume centers carry the puck more often which is why they're getting hit
Definitely being a center seems to be the most important part. I, too, am curious about the attributes. I'm gonna do this same breakdown for the SHL some time this week, when I get some free time i'll do an attributes analysis to see if i can find some correlations
RE: Who's Getting Nailed (S47 Edition) - Kalakar - 05-20-2019
Wow, what an honor. I want to thank my family, without which this would never have been possible. Also, my former teammate Jimmy @slothfacekilla Slothface who was there every step of the way to help me and push me towards greatness. Thank you to the SHL for making this possible, I will try my best to be at the top again next season.
RE: Who's Getting Nailed (S47 Edition) - Zoone16 - 05-20-2019
05-20-2019, 11:38 AMslothfacekilla Wrote: Perfectly balanced two seasons in a row, I love it.
Good work!
I have found the heir to my Thanos throne. :O
RE: Who's Getting Nailed (S47 Edition) - Tomasnz - 05-20-2019
05-20-2019, 12:24 PMhotdog Wrote:05-20-2019, 12:15 PMaaronwilson Wrote: I wonder which attributes affect this stat
Seems like everyone on the list is a center, and I assume centers carry the puck more often which is why they're getting hit
Definitely being a center seems to be the most important part. I, too, am curious about the attributes. I'm gonna do this same breakdown for the SHL some time this week, when I get some free time i'll do an attributes analysis to see if i can find some correlations
Suggest you look at skating stat for players with higher hits taken. Is there a drop off for players with 75/80 skating Vs those with 65/70?
RE: Who's Getting Nailed (S47 Edition) - Gwdjohnson - 05-20-2019
Nice.
RE: Who's Getting Nailed (S47 Edition) - ProjectSaint - 05-20-2019
EVO7 does not like being 69 listed. He does find it hilarious, tho.
EVO7 also questions why the hell the 3 awards are named after porn stars and 2 more named after more sexual things.
RE: Who's Getting Nailed (S47 Edition) - sköldpaddor - 05-20-2019
I want to thank the power bottom academy for this award, I moved from third to first place in my category since last season and I think I can only continue to uh, go down from here.
RE: Who's Getting Nailed (S47 Edition) - micool132 - 05-20-2019
I'm glad my pounding led my victims to be on an award list!