[x2 media] Jon41, his cult and the draft part 2
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C9Van
Registered Posting Freak
Hello there. This is the 2nd part of my media thing about Jon41 but this 1 covers the minors draft so x2 media. It is roughly 1750 words long. Enjoy!]
We find Jon Forty-One on his huge ass comfy sofa at home in Minnesota watching the Simulation Junior Minors Hockey League draft but not of his own free will. No if anything Jon Forty-One does not care about the minor leagues any more. However to the side stuffing his face is Mr. Seventy-Nine. Jon ended up buying him a lot of pizza. Like more than a skinny dude should be able to buy but apparently he loves pizza. He is the reason they are watching this draft. Jon Forty-One: I assume you like the pizza then... Mr. Seventy-Nine: Nah, not really. Every bite is an endurance test...That is why I just finished my 3rd pizza tonight. Jon Forty-One: Jesus, you are are dry and sarcastic aren't you. Mr. Seventy-Nine: I get that a lot...But now that the draft has started we can really begin the judgement. Jon Forty-One: Why? Why do we even need to watch this bullshit? I do not care who I even play with in Minnesota yet alone who is playing for these teams... Mr. Seventy-Nine: Wow. You are an idiot then...Look it is fairly simple. I told you about the draft situation and how you're getting judged now of completing that revenge list. Well this is the same. Jon Forty-One: I still do not get it. Mr. Seventy-Nine: Mr. Forty-One! Work with me here! Look. The positives you have brought are great. They beat the other two Laszlo Forty-Two of the National Simulation Football League and that muppet Jose Forty-Three in Pro Baseball Experience. Jon Forty-One: So I am winning. Mr. Seventy-Nine: Well...It is not exactly about just beating those two individuals...More so doing as much as you can and it is not like you are on the best Simulation Hockey League team right now either. Two medals in the international tournaments is great! Hell, your minor league title with the Vancouver Whalers and Most Valuable Player award at the Vancouver Whaler awards was great too. I realise you got shafted by the awards committee since they have no idea what the fuck they are doing but that appears to be a popularity contest in all of them as it is anyway. Jon Forty-One: So...Then I am winning. Mr. Seventy-Nine: For fuck sake. Sure. You are winning right now...God. But your issues that you have do not appear in any other cult member Mr. Forty-One...That is a huge issue. That is why we are watching this. Jon Forty-One: I just do not get what is so special about this draft. Mr. Seventy-Nine: Simple. Do you remember what you were traded for? Jon Forty-One: No. But it killed both teams. Mr. Seventy-Nine: Well, you both sucked that is for sure but the point being is you were drafted for the Season 51 2nd round Halifax Raiders pick. Which ended up being the 11th pick overall. So basically Mr. Forty-One...Whoever the Vancouver Whalers take in that position was what they traded you for. In order to rebuild. So if they can win the Vancouver Whalers a championship during his time and become captain they will have matched you and it was worth getting rid of you. All that would be left for you is your play-off record. Jon Forty-One: So...I have to route against them? Mr. Seventy-Nine: Nah. Knowing you I doubt you will even care to track but we will for sure. They probably will be drafted higher than you since they went 11th too. Jon Forty-One: Right... Mr. Seventy-Nine: So let us watch! The draft happens and they watch player after player go: 1st overall: Sabo Tage goes to the Vancouver Whalers A great pick up of a returning player for them. Not really a shocking pick and should be in with a shout of being a main centre piece of the Vancouver Whalers for seasons to come. I remember Infidel saying defensive players are a bit of a rare thing or at least in high demand so this just makes a lot of sense. If that is the case then fuck yeah. 2nd overall: Velveteen “The Dream” Dream to the Carolina Crack Heads I genuinely am not surprised that one of the most talented NXT super stars was released from World Wrestling Entertainment. Personally I was hoping he would go to All-Elite Wrestling and actually put on some sick dream matches but playing in the Simulation Hockey League will be a good alternative for us all. I hope all his media is on that couch he used to have. 3rd overall: Morgan Forester to the Kelowna Knights I do not know who this is honestly, so I apologise. So instead I will have Jon Forty-One be very grateful that they did not go 11th since he can see great things in this players future. 4th overall: Blake Faux to the St. Louis Scarecrows It appears Alex F has finally joined the Simulation Hockey League. A very active player in the National Simulation Football League and a (Struggling) General Manager in Pro Baseball Experience. It will be interesting to see how well he does in the Simulation Hockey League. St. Louis Scarecrows picked a very smart player for the 1st round so good job. 5th overall: Noah Nystrom to the Kelowna Knights (Via Anaheim Outlaws) I saw this player going pretty high in mocks so Kelowna must be pretty happy to get two very good (I at least assume) players in the first round alone. I have no clue how they did last season but I know they did not win it so good job on getting stronger. 6th overall: Olli Saarinen Jr. to the Halifax Raiders My old team. Kinda. Actually ignore that. I liked the look of this player before the draft so I genuinely think Halifax have a good pick up. I dunno what the team is looking like roster wise but having a future star or more depth is never a bad thing. Especially since the threw away the 11th overall pick on that shitty scottish cultist who looks like John Wick! 7th overall: Ulrik Bergstorm to the Anchorage Armada So I just want to say real quick I do not genuinely know anything about this player and I really hope he likes the league if he is new and helps make the Anchorage team even better. However! This review of the 1st round + 11th pick is way too bloody positive and nothing is more boring and less remembered than just saying “I like this pick up”. So fuck that. Since it is the team I went like 12-1 on in my games against: This is a flop pick. Terrible. Never seen anything so dumb since Pro Baseball Experience thought they had an unbiased awards panel for minors. Just nothing but dumb people! We will look back and point and laugh at Anchorage. Wait, no that is not true. We will point and laugh at Anchorage even more than all the other teams do! (Good luck though Ulrik <3 Please prove me wrong.) 9th overall: Simothy Drunkebird for the Colorado team. (I promise you I am not doing this as a dig. I legit can never remember your guys' team name cause you guys weren't very competitive a handful of seasons ago. I actually talked about him in my lil Role play thing with Igor Volkov. This pick up makes perfect sense cause I think he was on the team beforehand and they must have really liked him. Good amount of Total Points Earned already and if anything I thought he may go higher. A great pickup for Colorado. I assume he is very active and they wanted to keep him which is good. I think he will go a lot higher in the major league draft but we will see. Simulation Hockey League General Managers are pretty dumb at times. 10th overall: Filey Kuse to the Lethbridge Lions (Via the Detroit Falcons) (via Carolina Crack Heads) I personally do not know this player. I am sorry. I believe it may be a new person and if so. Welcome! Do not really have anything really to say. They probably think he is a great pick up and hopefully he will be. Finally the pick that this focus' completely on: 11th overall and the player starting the 2nd round picks is: Nicholas Corrigan to the Vancouver Whalers (Via Halifax Raiders) I rejoined the Vancouver Whalers locker room to completely stalk him at every tur—I mean see how it was going. So far he is eager and looks like a great pick up. A scottish lad replaced a scottish lad. Will be watching his career with great interest! Anyway back to the story. Jon Forty-One: There. Now you know who god damn replaced me... Mr. Seventy-Nine: I see, I see. Very interesting. I guess you have to hope this guy cannot win championship number 11 then! Jon Forty-One: I really do not care how well the Vancouver Whalers do... They do not care about me either... Mr. Seventy-Nine: Man, people call me a miserable git. But anyway now that we know this. It is now time for your juuuudgement! Jon Forty-One: What do you mean? Mr. Seventy-Nine: Well, I have to give you a passing grade or not. Jon Forty-One: What happens if I fail. Mr. Seventy-Nine: Do not worry about that. Nothing bad anyway. Jon Forty-One: ...Right. Mr. Seventy-Nine: Buuut luckily for you Mr. Forty-One! You have passed. You just need to get more angry and focused when playing and probably watch the Vancouver Whalers this season or two. Hey, at least that will help you get angry. The next day Mr. Seventy-Nine leaves and Jon is faced having to still deal with the pain of being abandoned by the Vancouver Whalers. It will be fun to see if this either helps him grow stronger as a hockey player or he loses it and murders someone.
Proud S67 - S69 Colorado Raptors Captain S57 Forward of the Season Award winner Now I am free <3 |
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